wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: WWF at Boston Garden (11.1.1986)
Loading...-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, and about 100 empty chairs right on the camera side.
BILLY JACK HAYNES vs. COWBOY BOB ORTON (with Jimmy Hart)
-Cowboy Bob enters to Roddy Piper’s entrance music, wearing a kilt and, for some reason, a Hulk Hogan t-shirt.
-Funny bit to start as they collide on a shoulderblock. They stare each other down until Orton suddenly winces and grabs his shoulder because he can’t hide how painful it actually was for him. Orton rallies and armdrags Haynes, following it with a celebratory dance. Haynes bounces back with armdrags of his own. Orton slides out for a breather, but he slides out on the side with the commentary table and Monsoon won’t let him go to the floor.
-Orton reluctantly goes back in and immediately falls victim to an atomic drop. He hits the post shoulder-first between the turnbuckles, and Haynes is right on top of that, going to work on the arm with a hammerlock. Orton tries to turn it into a bodyslam, but the higher he lifts Haynes, the more leverage Haynes gets on his own move. Clever!
-Orton breaks it and sends him into the ropes, but Haynes meets him with a bodypress for two. Back to work on the arm. Orton backs Haynes into the ropes and rams him a few times to break the hold, but he misses an elbow and Haynes goes nuts on him with an arm wringer. Orton breaks with an inverted atomic drop, and Orton still has one good arm and gets to work with right hands. He tries a slam, but his arm is STILL hurt, so Haynes easily makes it a cradle for two.
-Orton is frustrated, so he tosses Haynes out to the floor. Haynes sunset flips back in for two. Neat move by Orton, doing an inverted DDT but sticking his knee out so it becomes a backbreaker on impact. That could be a finisher, actually, but it only gets two here.
-Clothesline gets another two. Atomic drop gets yet another two. Front facelock by Orton, and the crowd really gets into it, cheering on Haynes until he breaks free, and he presses Orton throat-first on the top rope. Orton gets a second wind and tries for a superplex, but Haynes punches him off the turnbuckles, then launches himself off for a clothesline. Double axehandle gets two.
-Fisticuffs and chops are traded and it ends with Orton getting tangled in the ropes. Jimmy frees him immediately so Haynes can’t take advantage, and Orton knocks him right back out to the floor. Orton follows him out there, but gets rammed right into the post. Jimmy tries to motivate him by yelling “You can do it!” while Orton stands there writhing, which is pretty funny.
-Back in the ring, Orton gets the edge again. Haynes fights back with a hard chop, and an elbow gets two. They trade punches until the bell sounds, and it’s a time limit draw. 1 for 1. GREAT match, almost entirely action and both guys coming with their working boots on.
-Haynes wants to restart the match and finish this thing. Orton is game, but the moment it looks like Haynes might get the full nelson applied, Orton bolts.
RAYMOND ROUGEAU & LEAPING LANNY POFFO (with Jacques Rougeau) vs. MOONDOGS
-Jacques is on crutches, but he’s here anyway to support his brother. Lanny’s perm is getting a little out of hand and appears to be gradually turning into an Elaine Benes-like wall of hair.
-Rex mows down Raymond right away, but Raymond stays on the mat and uses it to his advantage, monkeyflipping the big guy. Lanny adds a dropkick, and the Moondogs are rammed into each other to clear the ring immediately.
-Back in the ring, Lanny and Spot trade arm wringers. Lanny brings that to an end with flying headscissors. Flying headscissors for Rex, too. Lanny tries it again, but Spot clotheslines him off. Forearm off the second rope gets two. Chinlock by Spot. Lanny elbows free while Lord Alfred Hayes, on commentary, seems to be trying to get a drinking game going with the number of times he’s used the word “supple” so far on tonight’s card.
-Jacques sits in on commentary for a bit, saying he’s thankful for Lanny Poffo, and right on cue, Rex traps him in a bearhug. Lanny gets free, but Spot clamps on a front facelock, and the Moondogs get to work with sinister double-teaming. Referee misses a tag, and Jacques is too pissed off to talk anymore.
-Lanny throws some desperate right hands, but Spot ties him up and takes him back down to the mat. He throws Poffo out to the floor. Jacques tosses him back to the lion-like dogs and they keep laying a beating on him, but the split second it takes the Moondogs to tag gives Lanny an opening to make the tag himself, and Raymond cleans house.
-Pier sixer erupts and the referee’s lost control of this one, but in the middle of it, Jacques uses his crutch to trip Spot, and Raymond uses the moment of confusion to pin Rex. 2 for 2. Not half bad, which means it was more than half good.
KOKO B. WARE vs. JIMMY JACK FUNK
-Alfred wonders if “Jimmy Jack can make out with Koko B. Ware,” while Gorilla sort of sums up the first minute of the match by saying “Sooner or later, these two guys are gonna touch each other.”
-Armdrag by Koko, and Jimmy Jack goes out to the floor to re-think things. Test of strength goes Jimmy Jack’s way, but Koko fights back to his feet and dropkicks JJ out to the floor. Jimmy Jack re-thinks things.
-Top wristlock by JJ is reversed into a hammerlock by Koko. Koko works the arm for a bit, then gets a backslide for two. JJ comes to life with a powerslam for two. JJ drops Koko throat-first on the top rope, then tosses him outside. Back in, he slams Koko to the mat and comes off the second turnbuckle, but he misses the fistdrop.
-Punches in every direction by Koko while Gorilla says that Koko’s moves remind him of the Killer Bees. “He should call himself a bumblebee…he’s short and fat.”
-More rights and lefts by Koko, and a cradle gets two. JJ backs him into the corner and chokes him out with his rope, then just beats and beats and beats on Koko with his cowbell until the referee finally calls for the bell, and JJ gets DQed. 2 for 3. Gotta protect Jimmy Jack.
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT
-This seems promising.
-Savage stalls, does a lap around the ring, threatens Gorilla Monsoon, then heads back inside. Leapfrogs by the Dragon, he brings Savage down to the mat for an armbar. Savage fights out and Irish whips Steamboat back and forth, but Steamboat trips him and goes back to the armbar. Savage escapes, but Steamboat never lets him get far away, and he keeps going back to the arm.
-Savage gets a handful of hair and backs Steamboat into the ropes. Steamboat just throws a chop and gets Savage tangled in the ropes. They trade two-counts in a rapid-fire sequence and the Boston crowd applauds politely to show their appreciation. Steamboat goes back to the arm, but Savage makes the ropes and goes to the floor for a retreat.
-Savage digs into his tights while he’s out there, and it’s Boston so the fans totally freak because they remember this. He grinds Steamboat’s eyes with it before clotheslining him for two. Steamboat with a small package for two. Savage goes back on the offensive, then heads upstairs, and a double axehandle connects for two. Right hand sends Steamboat outside, and Savage pounces, slamming him on the unforgiving parquet.
-Savage brings him back in with a suplex, but Steamboat lands on top for two. Savage throws a hard right forearm before he can get any advantage. Steamboat’s eyes are still bothering him from the foreign object. The referee stops everything to check it, and the referee uses it to sneak attack Steamboat. That ends badly, with Savage crotching himself on the second rope, and a Steamboat suplex gets two.
-Chop from the top gets two. Chop off the rope gets one. Steamboat charges and Savage launches him over the top and onto the floor. Savage goes to the top rope for the double axehandle, but Steamboat gets out of the way and Savage blows out his leg on impact, allowing Steamboat back into the ring to take the win by countout. 3 for 4. Really pretty damn good on the regular match scale, minor disappointment on the Savage/Steamboat scale.
HERCULES vs. SALVATORE BELLOMO
-Hercules is being somewhat relaunched, with his last name and his entrance armor gone now, AND he got a haircut.
-Shoulcerblock by Herc staggers Bellomo. Bellomo rebounces with an Irish whip and a dropkick. Hercules goes to the eyes and throws a series of kneelifts. Bellomo with another dropkick, but Herc comes right back with a knee and a slam. Torture rack finishes. 3 for 5. Squash.
ROWDY RODDY PIPER vs. MAGNIFICENT MURACO (with Mr. Fuji)
-Muraco enters the same way Orton entered, with a kilt plus Piper’s music.
-Piper tosses his kilt in Muraco’s face and just hammers him down. Muraco goes face-first into the turnbuckle and Piper punches him down. Piper keeps dominating with punches. Eye gouge and a dropkick by Piper. He sends Muraco out to the floor and plants his face into the seat of a folding chair. He brings Muraco up to the apron and bites him.
-Muraco gets himself tangled in the ropes and Piper takes advantage with punches. Chop to the throat by Piper and he bulldogs Muraco. Muraco backs into a corner and gives Piper a hard slap that topples Hot Rod, then kicks him away. Muraco sends Piper to the floor, where Mr. Fuji and his cane are ready and waiting. Muraco goes out, puts Piper on his shoulder, and rams him facefirst into the post.
-Piper, now bleeding, dives back into the ring, surprising Muraco, and bites Muraco so hard that he bloodies him. Fists are traded and Piper suplexes Muraco for two. Piper punches Muraco out to the apron and tries to slam him back in. Mr. Fuji cracks Piper’s ribs with the cane from the outside, causing Piper to collapse with Muraco landing on top of him for two. Piper goes after Fuji and Muraco attempts to rescue his manager. Piper moves, heels collide, Piper rolls up Muraco for three. 4 for 6.
SIKA (with The Wizard) vs. SCOTT MCGHEE
-Dropkicks by McGhee accomplish nothing. Bodypress is turned into a powerslam by Sika. He follows with a series of chops and some quality biting. Wizard wanders over to the commentary table, who says he’s received a message from the Grand Wizard imploring him to enter the sewers beneath the Boston Garden.
Slams and choking by Sika, who doesn’t seem to be in any kind of a hurry tonight. He misses a corner charge and McGhee follows that with a dropkick, which wakes up the crowd, but he runs right into a Samoan drop for three. 4 for 7. Holy shit that was boring.
TAG TEAM TITLE: BRITISH BULLDOGS (Champions) vs. HART FOUNDATION (with Jimmy Hart)
-Dynamite starts with Bret and Bret gets the early advantage with punching. Dynamite gets trapped in the wrong corner and double-teamed, but fights out with headbutts. Bret goes to the floor to recover. Back to the ring, he tries his luck with Davey Boy and gets atomic dropped. Irish whip by Davey Boy, but Bret is ready with a sunset flip for two. Anvil comes in and gets dropkicked down.
-Side headlock by Davey Boy. Anvil fights out and Davey Boy tries some shoulderblocks, but Anvil is unfazed. He slams Smith down and slingshots Bret on top for two. Inverted atomic drop by Bret, followed by an elbow and a backbreaker. Anvil comes in and pulls the hair. The referee reprimands him, so Bret steps in and assaults Smith in the meantime. Decapitator nearly finishes, but Dynamite breaks the pin.
-Bret goes to the floor and Anvil comes in without a tag and gouges the eyes. Referee reprimands him and Bret takes advantage again. Smith ducks a clothesline, but Hart is waiting on the apron with a kneelift. Anvil lobs Smith out to the floor, and Hart slams him on the floor, which Gorilla maintains is “nothing but ice.” Well, yes, and the huge panels of wood covering it.
-Back in the ring, Anvil applies a chinlock. Smith fights it and Anvil switches to a front facelock. Dynamite protests and while the referee deals with him, the Harts double-team Smith. Bret tries a clothesline, but Smith counters with a crucifix for two. Anvil tags in and puts the boots to Smith. Back to the front facelock and the Harts turn it into a double-DDT. Anvil gets two from that.
-Bret tags back in and applies a sleeper. Smith rams him into the corner to break it. Smith press slams Hart crotch-first onto the top rope and makes the hot tag. Dynamite rams the Harts together and takes care of both of them with headbutts and clotheslines. Snap suplex on Bret and a falling headbutt. Sleeper by Dynamite is broken by Anvil with an axehandle from the ropes, but the referee gets wiped out too.
-Anvil takes care of Davey Boy and rolls Bret on top of Dynamite. He tries to revive the referee, but it takes too long and Dynamite is able to kick out. Anvil slams Dynamite down and repeats the whole process, but Dynamite kicks out. Anvil tries to revive the referee one more time, and Davey Boy suddenly revives, rolls into the ring, and rolls up the Anvil. And this time, the referee is awake and it’s a three-count. 5 for 8. Another good match.
WOMEN’S TAG TEAM TITLE: JUDY MARTIN & LEILANI KAI (Champions) vs. PENNY MITCHELL & CANDICE PARDUE
-Okay, so this match isn’t on the WWE Network version, but it wound up on a Coliseum Video release so I’ll go ahead and tack it on here.
-Kai starts with Pardue. Mitchell chokes Pardue, but Kai shoves her down. They trade hammerlocks and Kai turns it into a drop toehold. Pardue kicks out of it and Kai backs off. Kai sweeps the leg and tries another toehold, but Pardue drops her down and works the leg. Cute spot where both when attempt a toehold and their partners keep interfering to reverse it over and over again. In comes Mitchell and she applies a leglock. Kai rakes her eyes to break it. Bodyscissors by Mitchell, followed by a grapevine. Kai is able to tag out and Martin gets atomic dropped right away. Kai comes in and gets the same.
-In comes Pardue and she dropkicks everything in sight. Mitchell & Pardue get Irish whipped into each other, but Pardue is able to clothesline Martin down for two. She goes for headscissors and gets backdropped down. Martin whips her across the ring by her hair. Northern lights suplex gets two. Pardue fights back but Kai hammers her down. Martin tags in and hits a diving headbutt to the stomach as Boston starts the “BORING!” chant (It’s really not, but it’s four wrestlers they don’t see on TV regularly in a match that probably didn’t get promoted).
-Kai accidentally chops her partner from the second rope. Dropkick by Mitchell, then a backdrop. Martin makes the tag and Mitchell helpfully slingshots her into the ring. Fireman’s carry into a slam by Mitchell for two. Pier-sixer erupts and in the confusion, Martin powerbombs Mitchell (seriously, a powerbomb!) and Kai gets the pin to retain the titles. 6 for 9.
-Couple of things. #1, apparently they were doing the powerbomb before this, because Alfred recognizes the move immediately, but says that in England, it’s called a “drip-dry.” #2, Screw the crowd; this was actually pretty good, and there was more to the match than you read here because they were going faster than I could type. #3, Lelani today is largely remembered as the woman who lost at Wrestlemania I, but she looked like a true STAR here and probably wasn’t used to her full potential.
