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The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (2.22.1986)

October 18, 2014 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
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The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (2.22.1986)  

-Originally aired February 22, 1986.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Bruno’s on vacation, we’re told.

CORPORAL KIRCHNER, PEDRO MORALES, & DANNY SPIVEY vs. LES THORNTON, DAVE BARBIE, & RUSTY BROOKS
-No offense to Spivey, but was he such a “Get” that it was important to steal him away without having any plan in mind for how to use him? It’s the WWF in 1986, so I’m sure he’s getting paid well, but imagine being signed by the company and just immediately being shoved into a drawer.

-Pedro gets the early edge on Thornton. Kirchner gets backed into the wrong corner and all of the jobbers have trouble  with him. Ugly goof on a side suplex (Barbie’s fault) and Spivey tags in as Vince notes that “Spivey has come into his own.” His own what? Came in his own car? His own locker in the locker room? He’s the designated just-there tag team match filler-outter. That’s not a great role for him. Up and comer Danny Spivey finishes with a bulldog.

UPDATE
-The WWF is confounded by Roddy Piper’s latest hairbrained scheme of turning Bob Orton into a wrestler. They note that Piper himself has a background in boxing and is personally coaching the rookie Orton.

-The Wrestling Album! On sale now! And then again when  the guy on the cover gets elected governor.

-You can buy products at K-Mart.

-Barbasol works just as well as fancy shaving creams but are less expensive.

-WWF Thumb Wrestlers! Put a thumb in your favorite wrestler’s butt and use it to assert your dominance over children! The ad ends with shirtless oiled up Iron Sheik emerging from the classroom and telling the kids to get inside. It’s a trap. Tell a grown-up…a grown-up without a mustache, preferably.

House…not the medical drama rip-off of Dr. Cox but actually a horror movie starring The Greatest American Hero, Norm Peterson, and Bull from Night Court. I will find this movie and I will watch the crap out of it.

-Vote for the Slammys. They have now been airing this promo so long that Adrian Adonis’ gimmick in the music video no longer matches his current persona.

MAGNIFICENT MURACO (with Mr. Fuji) vs. JEFF LONDOS
-Muraco grabs the mic and announces that he will finish this match with a piledriver and he will dedicate it to America’s greatest announcer, Jesse Ventura.

-Snapmares and knees by Muraco.  Vince speculates that Muraco is probably on the verge of getting a WWF Title shot in the near future.

-Shots to the throat by Muraco and he finishes with the tombstone piledriver. Vince is in the middle of hyping SNME when Jesse shuts him up so he can enjoy his dedicated move.

-Tito is super-pissed about what happened in the Boston Garden, in the same promo they aired last week.

“Mr. Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF vs. THE MOHAWK KID
-Orndorff thinks that the jobber’s name is so stupid that he beats the shit out of him before Finkel can even say it, and then puts him out of his misery with a piledriver. For his next match, The Mohawk Kid should show Mo’Hawk and less turkey. Right, guys?

-Wrestlemania 2 is coming. Same promo they’ve been doing, but now they’ve added a guitar riff to show they’re serious about it.

-Gene Okerlund talks to….Junkyard Dog. Again, it’s last week’s promo!

ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. PAUL ROMA
-Jesse accurately categorizes this match as “Best Abs vs. Most Abs.”

-Roma shows his usual early fire. Great  exchange on commentary, as Vince notes that Adonis is as vicious as a pitbull, and Jesse says “Actually, the proper name for the breed is Staffordshire Terrier.”

-Adrian finishes with the DDT. Post-match, we see the Rosatti sisters at ringside taunting Adonis with an enormous bra, giving Vince an opening to go on an unexpected tangent about Adonis’ moons.

PIPER’S PIT
Piper complains that nobody in the WWF has the guts to fight Boxing Bob Orton. Hulk Hogan strolls out with the open contract that Orton left in the locker room and says he’d LOVE to fight Bob Orton…but he has a friend who called and asked Hulk not to sign the contract and let him fight Orton instead. Piper says Orton will fight anybody, so Hulk signs his friend’s name to the contract: Mr. T.

-WWF Magazine on sale everywhere!

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: TITO SANTANA (champion) vs. RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (with Elizabeth)
Joined in progress from Boston. Tito begins attacking the knee with kicks and Savage isn’t fighting back. London Bridge brings Savage into the middle of the ring and the crowd EXPLODES for the figure-four. Savage makes it to the ropes and onto the apron, and starts looking for something in his trunks as Danny Davis reprimands Tito. Tito pulls Savage back into the ring, but Savage gets back out to the apron and goes into the trunks. Santana attempts a back suplex, but Savage punches him with something on the way down and lands on top for the pin and the title. The Boston crowd goes nuts for Savage, actually.

-Vote for the Slammys or the terrorists win.

BRUTUS BEEFCAKE & GREG “The Hammer” VALENTINE (Tag Team Champions, with Luscious Johnny Valiant) vs. JIM POWERS & SCOTT MCGHEE
-They have the champs against two of the jobbers who usually get token offense, so this should actually be a decent match by squash standards, and in fact even  Jesse basically says that as the bell sounds.

-Valentine misses a charge and McGhee capitalizes with an inverted atomic drop. Powers works the arm but Valentine hiptosses him and Beefcake viciously rams Powers into the rope near one of the turnbuckles to proclaim to the world, “Look guys! I’m helping!”

-They work Powers’ legs, but Powers wisely tags out immediately and McGhee slugs it out with Valentine. Dropkick by McGhee, dropkick by Powers, and a sunset flip gets two. Valentine is able to make a tag behind Powers’ back and Beefcake tags in and drills him with a hard kick. Valentine tags right back in and finishes with the figure four. This was a neat story, with Valentine & Beefcake stinging from the clean loss for the Bulldogs and battling with tougher opponents than usual to prove that they could still hang.

And it’s a hat trick, as we get Jimmy and the Funks in the same promo from last week. Did somebody accidentally sit on the “Week #2” tape?

7.0
The final score: review Good
The 411
The tag match was a pleasant surprise and they're absolutely laying a lot of pipe for Wrestlemania 2 here. It's a lot more fun to watch this show when they have a clear goal to work toward.
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Randy Savage, WWE, Adam Nedeff