wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (4.19.1986)
Loading...-Originally aired April 19, 1986.
-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino.
NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Classy Freddy Blassie) vs. IVAN MCDONALD & TERRY MORGAN
-Great touch by The Fink; he tries to rush out of the ring after the introductions, but Nikolai grabs him and holds onto him so he has to do the pre-anthem announcement. Vince says that as much as the fans complain, we should be grateful that Volkoff sings and not the Sheik, because the Sheik’s singing voice sounds like “camels mating in the wind.”
-Sheik takes McDonald’s head off with a clothesline while the commentators note that Blassie has been complaining a lot lately because they aren’t getting title shots despite a strong record. Volkoff puts the boots to Morgan and wedgiebreaks him. Sheik clamps on the camel clutch and that’s it.
UPDATE
-Lord Alfred Hayes says that fans and celebrities agree that Wrestlemania 2 was an event unsurpassed in the history of sports-entertainment. We look at a montage of celebrities who appeared at the spectacular, and thank the lord, they remembered to include Herb.
ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Jimmy Hart) vs. MARIO MANCINI
-Adrian enters to “You’re So Vain” and in a shot that amazes me, the cameras and the director actually make a point to get a shot of a fan holding up a sign reading “Fagbusters.”
-Adonis applies a side headlock while Bruno explains how clever Adonis is for being fat, because the weight keeps Mancini from getting out of the hold. Good Night Irene finishes quickly.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Captain Lou Albano, who says he kept every promise he ever made and got the gold around the Bulldogs’ waists. The Bulldogs say that the nine-month chase all across America trying to get a match from Valentine & Beefcake was worth it. Davey Boy promises that they’ll never wrestle a six-man tag as long as they hold the belts. Any match they wrestle will be a title match.
KILLER BEES vs. TIGER CHUNG LEE & JOE MIRTO
-B. starts with Lee. They have a badly-blown run off the ropes that leads to B. being gently nudged downward toward the mat. B. drops Lee with a toehold. Brunzell tags in with a plaster cast on his arm and Vince explains that he was injured by Brutus Beefcake in a recent match, but he is courageously getting into the ring anyway. Okay, now hold on here, Jack Tunney released a sacred parchment with a ruling on it about how you can wrestle or you can wear a cast but not both, and here, now, we’re just expected to spit in the face of our own bylaws without regard for the precedent that sets by letting Brunzell get in the ring and threaten his opponent with punches? Bruno justifies it eventually by saying that Brunzell using a cast is “different from when Bob Orton does it.” Oh, well, that explanation satisfies me completely.
-Brunzell finishes with a sunset flip. I think one of the things that held the Bees back in the long run was that they could not find a finisher that worked for them.
-Gene talks to Ted Arcidi, who’s excited about his homecoming in Boston to square off against Big John Studd. God, I hope the Garden has some windows that they can open up during that one. Arcidi says it’ll be a big chance to prove himself and “settle the score.” Oh, yes, the long-storied Studd/Arcidi rivalry is coming to an end. Tommy Rich and Buzz Sawyer have nothing on this one.
HOSS FUNK (with Jimmy Hart) vs. NELSON VEILLIEUX
-Uppercuts by Hoss while Vince assures us that Terry has simply chosen to stay in the locker room and watch this one on the monitor. If Lanny Poffo is to be believed, Terry had a full-blown meltdown in the locker room and was screaming “I’m tired of the Junkyard Dog! I don’t want to wrestle the goddamn Junkyard Dog anymore!”
– Hoss finishes with a double-underhook suplex, and then whips Veillieux to teach him a lesson. The lesson that it is not okay to be Nelson Veillieux.
PIPER’S PIT
-Piper talks about how much he enjoyed his vacation while a close-up shot shows that Cowboy Bob Orton seems rather pissed off about something, but we don’t delve into it.
-King Kong Bundy & Big John Studd issue a challenge to Andre the Giant and the partner of his choice for a tag team match on national television. They both vow to slam Andre and Piper asks both of them to demonstrate their technique, and suggests that they use Cowboy Bob in place of Andre for the demonstration. Orton complains the whole time but complies. Piper then suggests that they demonstrate their technique for splashing him, and Orton completely flips out, but Piper talks him into laying down. Piper talks Bundy into stopping at the last second because “I need my Ace.”
-We go to Wrestlemania 2 and clips of the Tag Team Title match.
RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. SAL G
-Savage slams Sal swiftly, scaling the strands to smash Sal before slinging him to the cement and swooping from the summit of the squared circle and slapping him with flowers. There is no “s” word for flowers. Another axehandle from the top rope, and then he sends Sal to the floor and does THAT spot again. Savage tears up a fan’s sign before he finishes tearing up Sal G. Flying elbow finishes.
-Gene Okerlund talks to Valentine & Beefcake. Johnny Valiant says that desperate men do desperate things, and Valentine & Beefcake are desperate to get the gold back. Valentine says he knows they have the edge because the Bulldogs signed the contract for Boston so fast that you can tell they weren’t really thinking about what they were doing.
-Vince & Bruno talk about Andre’s tag team match next week. They’re both concerned because Studd & Bundy have so much experience as a tag team, whereas Andre will lack that experience no matter who he chooses. Vince mentions that Andre hasn’t actually accepted the challenge yet, but there’s no doubt that he will, so they just go ahead and advertise the match because Andre will surely say yes.
