The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (8.23.1986)

-Originally aired August 23, 1986.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan. Heenan throws a tantrum about his HOST jacket from last week, which has been vandalized. Somebody removed three of the letters and now the back of the jacket just reads “O.”

LEAPING LANNY POFFO vs. MR. X
-From Boston. Funny, subtle bit from the referee, warning Poffo not to yank on Mr. X’s mask, and to yanks on the mask himself to demonstrate that point.

-X takes Poffo down to the mat with a side headlock. Poffo flips out and turns it into a hammerlock, but X makes the ropes. They dual over a full nelson for a bit. Poffo slaps X and Lord Alfred makes a point about the effect of the mask: X is acting like it hurt him, but without seeing his face, you can’t tell. He might be faking it to lure Poffo into a false sense of security.

-Flying headscissors by the supple Poffo. X fights out and goes on the offensive with clubbing and knees. Springboard splash by X misses. Poffo dropkicks him down and then goes after his mask. Poffo rams him into the turnbuckles and then slams him down, and a somersault from the top finishes.

-Heenan excitedly says he’s waiting for a phone to be brought on set because he plans on making a call, on air, to Jack Tunney.

-Back from the commercial, Bobby has his phone.

TITO SANTANA vs. COWBOY BOB ORTON
-Gene Okerlund says that Orton certainly deserves the nickname “The Mechanic.” That would explain why his son is a robot. Both men jockey for position but it keeps turning into a stand-off. Drop toehold by Orton, but Tito wriggles out of it. Armdrag by Tito as Gorilla says that Orton reminds him a lot of Bret Hart. Apt comparison but incredibly random.

-Irish whip and a clothesline by Tito for two. Armdrag into an armbar by Tito, but Orton slithers out of the ring for a break. Back in, Orton backs Santana into the corner and rams his stomach. High hiptoss and flying headscissors by Orton, and the Boston crowd is actually popping for the Cowboy a little bit. Kneedrop across the throat by Orton for a two-count. Hiptoss by Orton, but he misses a corner charge and straddles himself on the top rope.

-Tito throws punches and sends Orton over the top rope and over the barricade. Tito sends him back into the ring and connects with a non-flying forearm for two. Armbar by Tito, but Orton punches out. Orton attempts a backdrop, but Tito counters with a backslide for two. Back to the armbar and Tito turns it into a particularly painful looking wristlock. Inverted atomic drop by Orton breaks the hold. He sends Tito into the corner, but misses another charge and hits the post shoulder-first. Tito snaps the arm over the top turnbuckle. Orton goes to the eyes and launches Tito out to the floor. Orton rams Tito into the barricade, collapsing it, and I think the rent-a-cops are starting to get a little annoyed with these guys.

-Orton drops Tito onto the top rope to knock the wind out of him, and then he goes to work on the midsection to capitalize. Series of punches by Orton and he plants Tito’s face into the mat. Headlock by Orton, but Tito fights his way to his feet and atomic drops his way out. Both men struggle to get back to their feet, but Orton revives first and re-applies the headlock. Tito slugs free and begins working the leg. “TITO” is blinking on the signs in the arena but the fans aren’t going for it.

-Figure-four by Tito, but Orton makes it to the ropes. Tito brings him back to the middle of the ring and applies a toehold. Orton does some kind of move to knock the wind out of Tito and then walks off the leg injury for a few moments. Orton punches down Tito and drops a forearm. Both men resort to hair-pulling and it turns into a tug-of-war. Fistfight erupts as the bell sounds for 30-minute draw. Excellent, old-school battle from two terribly-underrated masters of their craft. These two had an even better match on the undercard of The Brawl to End It All, but this one definitely has its merits.

-Ken Resnick talks to Junkyard Dog, who says that Paul Orndorff is twice as dangerous with Bobby Heenan in his corner, and he wishes Hulk Hogan all the best blessings in this feud. Heenan goes on a super-racist tangent after the promo that would get him future-endeavored immediately today.

DICK “The Rebel” SLATER vs. “The Duke of Dorchester” PETE DOUGHERTY
-Dougherty screams and mugs a lot. Slater sends him out of the ring and follows him to give him an atomic drop. Back in the ring, Slater gives him another one and Dougherty goes on another retreat. Russian legsweep and a chinlock by Slater. Neckbreaker gets two. Dougherty tries a chokehold, but Slater throws a flurry of punches and drops an elbow. A second elbow misses and Duke goes to the top rope to capitalize, but Slater slams him off, and an elbow from the top finishes for The Rebel. Boston actually gives Slater a bit of a pop.

-Bobby Heenan stews about The Machines. Gorilla wonders why Andre the Giant hasn’t been fired if he really is Giant Machine and Heenan says that’s why he’s trying to make the phone call.

TNT: MR. FUJI’S DOPPLEGANGER
-Mr. Fuji introduces his new protégé, midget wrestler Little Tokyo, wearing a Mr. Fuji Mini-Me get up. Fuji basically says he’s screwing Tokyo on money. An argument erupts and it ends with Mr. Fuji chasing Little Tokyo through the audience. You’ll laugh ‘til you stop.

-Paul Orndorff calls Heenan on the phone and asks to speak to Gorilla Monsoon. Monsoon hurls insults at Orndorff and hangs up on him, infuriating Heenan.

SPECIAL DELIVERY JONES & PAUL ROMA vs. TERRY GIBBS & GINO CAROBELLO
-Joined in progress from Poughkeepsie. Your commentary team: Gorilla Monsoon & Jim Neidhart.

-Roma slams Gino and suplexes him. Carobello fights back but stupidly Irish whips Roma into his own corner, and SD Jones tags in and goes to work. Snap suplex and an atomic drop by SD, and he takes a celebratory strut. Headbutts daze Gino, and SD press slams Roma on top to finish things.

HART FOUNDATION vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF & IRON SHEIK (with Slick)
-A rare heel/heel battle from Boston Garden. Note that Jimmy Hart is gone to make it easier for the fans to pick a side. And pick a side they do; the crowd goes nuts for the Harts during the introductions. Harts sneak up and attack during the Soviet anthem and clear the ring for a hot start. Volkoff & Bret start the match proper. Volkoff takes him down with power, but Bret dropkicks him and Sheik tags in to try his luck. Sheik tries to throw a punch close to the ropes, but Bret ducks and Sheik sends himself over the top rope and onto the floor with the momentum.

-Back in, an attempted double-team backfires and Sheik accidentally kicks Volkoff in the throat. Bret & Anvil do the move successfully in their corner to add insult to injury. Four-man brawl erupts and Bret gets double-teamed as a result. Clotheslines & chops by Sheik and he sends Bret into Volkoff’s boot. Volkoff comes in and stomps away. Bret gets a sunset flip for a visual three, but Sheik & Slick distract the referee to keep it from becoming official.

-Sheik re-enters and locks in an abdominal stretch, and as usual, Gorilla is unimpressed. Bret breaks the hold, but misses an elbow and Sheik gets right back into the swing of things with a gutwrench suplex. Camel clutch almost finishes, but Anvil comes to break the hold. Bret reverses a suplex and makes the hot tag. Anvil dropkicks Sheik into the corner, but Volkoff tags in and Anvil decides to kick two asses with one stone. Dropkick on Volkoff gets two. Elbow gets another two. It’s another brawl and Sheik gets sent to the floor in the fracas. Anvil tries to slam Volkoff, but Sheik hooks his leg and Volkoff lands on top for the three-count. Funny note: the commentators noted that the winners of the match would be the next in line to challenge the British Bulldogs, but when the Bulldogs finally lost the titles, guess who did it? Match felt a little short, somehow, but still very enjoyable.

6.9

The final score: review Average

The 411

Thoroughly decent week of wrestling this week, only real knock being the Fuji segment.