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The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (8.30.1986)

July 18, 2015 | Posted by Adam Nedeff
4.7
The 411 Rating
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The Name on the Marquee: WWF Championship Wrestling (8.30.1986)  

-Originally aired August 30, 1986.

-Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bruno Sammartino.

RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental Champion, with Elizabeth) vs. MARIO MANCINI
-Savage attacks from behind; Savage is wearing a set of blue tights that I don’t recall ever seeing him wear and I can’t stop looking at them. George Steele drops in, pointing to a photo of Elizabeth and saying “Nice!”

-Axehandle from the top rope on the floor by Savage. He sends Mancini over the barricade, and then back over the barricade and back into the ring. He axehandles Mancini again and demands Elizabeth give him some kind of recognition for doing the move so well. He slams Mancini into position and finishes with the flying elbow…although he’s super spaced-out this week, so first he crawls to a corner, stares at Mancini’s lifeless body for a moment, then sprints over like a tiger on all fours and pounces Mancini’s body to pin him.

UPDATE
-Gene Okerlund says the WWF is bursting at the seams with new talent. Case in point, Billy Jack Haynes. Billy Jack says he’s in the best shape of his life; even better shape than Big John Studd.

JUNKYARD DOG & GEORGE “The Animal” STEELE vs. THE GLADIATOR & MR. X
-Animal chases both opponents out of the ring. Steele chases Gladiator around and makes absolutely no contact until Gladiator tags out. X gets choked and dropped, and Steele celebrates with a turnbuckle. The Honky Tonk Man excitedly announces that he’s coming to the WWF real, real soon. His promo goes on forever and JYD actually scores the winning pin while Honky is still talking.

-After the match, JYD invites “The Honky Tonky Man” into the ring to dance with him. Honky Tonk Man (who Vince simply calls Wayne Ferris) grabs the mic and cuts a promo, and Vince actually throws it to the house show promo before Honky’s even got five words out or danced one move. Man, how bad did this crowd turn on him?

-Ken Resnick talks to Randy Savage, who is ready to bury the myth and the legend of George Steele in the city of Boston.

“Mister Wonderful” PAUL ORNDORFF (with Bobby Heenan) vs. TOMMY SHARPE
-Armdrag by Sharpe. Orndorff stalls a little bit, caught off guard by a jobber knowing actual moves. Lanny Poffo drops in with an anti-Orndorff poem.

-Meanwhile, a piledriver. Tommy Sharpe does a ridiculous sell of it, going into convulsions and rolling all over the place so Orndorff really has to press down on him to hold him for the pin.

-Ken Resnick talks to Bobby Heenan, who still hasn’t proven the true identity of Giant Machine. He promises that the Boston fans will see the face of Andre the Giant on September 6.

DICK “The Rebel” SLATER vs. JIMMY JACK FUNK (with Hoss Funk & Jimmy Hart)
-Good news for Dick Slater this week, as the crowd reaction has been upgraded from “Fuck you” to “We like you more than Jimmy Jack, at least.”

-Slater goes to the floor to start something with Hoss, and JJ attacks from behind. Slater fights back when he gets back into the ring. Slater gets distracted by Hoss, who, for the second time, has done nothing to merit the way Slater is acting, and JJ attacks from behind. Jimmy Hart genuinely makes me laugh by singing “Dixie” into his megaphone as we go to Superstar Billy Graham, who is at peace in the desert with the buzzards, the vultures, and the sidewinders. He warns Hoss Funk to watch out. Hoss actually left before Graham returned, so I guess he got the message.

-Hoss trips Slater with his lasso and ties him up, but Slater fights back and starts to hogtie Hoss before JJ attacks from behind. Slater fights him off and clears the ring. This was not followed up on in any way.

FLOWER SHOP
-Adrian Adonis introduces “Pregnant Lou Albano” and The Machines, and then Bobby Heenan shows up, demanding to inspect The Machines. Heenan puts on a pair of glasses and demands to inspect Super Machine. He finishes his inspection and lets him leave. Next he asks for Giant Machine, and it’s the debuting and gimmick-wrecking Big Machine, which confuses Heenan. Super Machine walks off and in comes Giant Machine. Total silence from the fans, who are slowly realizing that they aren’t going to see an actual payoff to this.

CORONATION OF HARLEY RACE
-All the heels are in the ring and Bobby Heenan reads a proclamation from a scroll before we hear the now legendary WWF “King” music for the first time. I liked Harley Race’s version of this theme better than the one used by the rest of the kings, too.

-Lord Littlebrook walks to the ring, carrying the crown. Harley Race, already wearing the cape, follows him out and has a seat on the throne. Odd note: For no discernible reason, they removed the top rope for this. Heenan proclaims that Harley Race will give new meaning to the throne, and then genuflects to the new king. He gets a “Long live the king!” chant going in the ring. Studd & Bundy lift the king onto their shoulders and carry him back to the locker room.

AMERICAN EXPRESS vs. GINO CAROBELLO & STEVE LOMBARDI
-Oh, yes, this is the match that’s turning out the lights for “Championship Wrestling.”

-Rotundo slams Carobello down but misses an elbow. Spivey tags in and goes to work on the arm. Lombardi tags in and gets slammed and dragged by Spivey. Roddy Piper steps in to say he’s got something to get off his chest and he’ll do it next week…on the Flower Shop. Piper clarifies that when he gave the Pit time slot to Adonis, Adonis promised that he’d give Piper the guest spot any time he wanted to get something off his chest, and last week, Adonis welched on the deal.

-Jobbers gang up on Rotundo in the corner, and Spivey actually cheats a little bit to daze Carobello. Spivey tags in and dropkicks Carobello, which leads Vince to demand that the match be stopped. For a dropkick. Spivey finishes with the bulldog to end this wanton carnage.

-Ken Resnick talks to The Machines, Super Machine and Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan), and that’s the point of no return for this angle because now the point is abundantly clear that they’re dangling Andre but not actually delivering him. I mean, yes, I get the issue is that Andre is having problems with his back, but if that’s the case, why even bother with the angle?

-Adrian Adonis interrupts the signoff, complaining that the WWF overruled him by allowing Roddy Piper to appear on the Flower Shop. It’s his show, and he makes the rules.

4.7
The final score: review Poor
The 411
Odd way to close out Championship Wrestling, with just an endless parade of stuff that went NOWHERE (Slater/Funk, The Machines, Babyface Honky, Superstar Billy Graham "returns"). It's a curious week but not one worth seeking out.
legend

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WWF, Adam Nedeff