The Name on the Marquee: WWF Prime Time Wrestling (11.17.1986)

-I’m skipping the November 11, 1986 episode because the whole show comes from the October 20 MSG card that I just reviewed. So let’s jump ahead to…

-Originally aired November 18, 1986.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan. There’s a gift box on the desk and Gorilla says he bought a gift for the Brain. I bet they take the full two hours to open it!

SIKA (with Theeeeeeee Wizarrrrrrrrd) vs. LEAPING LANNY POFFO
-From MSG. Poffo’s pre-match poem is a tribute to Howard Finkel. The Wizard retorts by cutting a promo at the commentary table, saying that Gorilla should feel “impervolous” to what’s happening because right now, the ghost of The Grand Wizard is lost somewhere between the moon and New York City.

-Sika overpowers Poffo on a series of lock-ups. Poffo tries to work the arm, but Sika kicks him right in the groin and chokes away. Poffo gets tossed out to the floor and Sika brings him back in with a headbutt. The Wizard comes over to the commentary table again to cut a promo, and Gorilla and Alfred continue their commentary totally uninterrupted as The Wizard rambles.

-Lanny comes to life with a series of punches and a dropkick, but this match is such a foregone conclusion that the MSG crowd refuses to get into it. Samoan drop outta nowhere gets three for Sika.

-Bobby Heenan has a ledger and briefcase filled with money, he vows to pay off all of Big Jon Stud’s bodyslams in honor of the holiday season. Gorilla shows him the tabulations from Jack Tunney’s office of bodyslams AND fines that Heenan hasn’t paid off yet, and Bobby owes $190,500.

B. BRIAN BLAIR vs. BRUTUS BEEFCAKE
-From the MSG show that compelled me to skip the previous week. Oh well, copy-paste…

-Fireman’s carry takedown by Blair as we go straight to the mat for this one. Blair goes from armbar to backdrop to wristlock without letting go of Beefcake. Beefcake tries a forearm, but misses and Blair goes straight back to the arm. Beefcake tries to bodyslam his way out, but Blair holds on still and won’t let go of the arm. Blair rolls him up for two. Beefcake and rolls out of the ring just to finally get the hell away from Blair.

-Back in, Brutus gets aggressive with elbows and forearms to take control. Blair is on the mat and Brutus lays a boot across his neck and holds onto Blair’s leg so Blair’s own body creates extra leverage while he’s being choked. Cool.

-Camel clutch by Beefcake, with his fingers going into Blair’s mouth and pulling on his mustache instead of going around the jaw. Inverted atomic drop by Beefcake gets two. He goes back to the camel clutch, but he doesn’t have the arms secured, so Blair is able to fight out and it’s a slugfest.

-Blair is pissed off and he targets the eyes. Atomic drop has Beefcake begging for mercy. Blair gives him a clothesline and an elbow right to the nose for two. Bodypress by Blair, but Beefcake rolls through and gets a handful of tights for three. Pretty basic but fun stuff.

-Bobby is on the phone trying to verify the total that Gorilla quoted. Gorilla explains he’s shy on cash this week because he just bought Hercules Hernandez’s contract from Slick.

-This leads to a funny skit at a local bank, where Bobby Heenan has a withdrawal a ton of paper money because Slick only does business in cash. Slick hands over the contract and then reaches into his contract, causing Heenan to cower in fear. Classic white guy. Slick has a huge paper bag and loads it up.

-We watch the Piper’s Pit vs. Flower Shop segment again just because it was so awesome.

DAVEY BOY SMITH vs. IRON SHEIK (with Nikolai Volkoff)
-From the Houston Summit. Sheik grabs the microphone and tells the fans not to chant “USA” because USA is a sick country which supports the English man.

-Bell sounds and Sheik goes right on the offensive and tosses Davey Boy onto the floor. He pounds away while Nikolai joins Gorilla and Ken for guest commentary. He ranks about 0.6 on the Art Donovan Scale.

-Shoulderblock and a hiptoss by Davey Boy. Atomic drop gets two. He tries a backdrop but Sheik meets him with a sinister boot. Sheik succeeds with his own backdrop for two. Suplex is countered into a cradle by Davey Boy for two.

-Incorrectly applied abdominal stretch by the Sheik, but the referee catches him holding the rope for leverage to force the break. Davey Boy comes out of nowhere with a snap suplex and a sleeper. Sheik breaks and goes for the camel clutch right next to the ropes and Davey figures that out pretty fast.

-Davey Boy struggles to his feet and then just powerslams Sheik out of nowhere. He goes off the ropes, but Nikolai trips him from the outside. Referee caught it, though, so it’s a DQ. They gang up on Davey Boy post-match, but Dynamite Kid emerges from wherever he was when he should have already been out there to make the save. This was fine.

-Heenan cuts three checks directly to Jack Tunney and says he can worry about dividing up the money.

TAMA vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF
-From the Houston Summit. Ring announcer hasn’t received the memo and introduces The Tonga Kid. Gorilla corrects him even though that’s not entirely wrong.

-Nikolai starts with a cheap shot and Tama throws a flurry of chops to the side of the head. Tama works the leg of Volkoff before switching to the chinlock. Volkoff sends Tama to the floor, then brings him back in for a bearhug. Tama claps his hands, Nikolai drops him, then becomes the first wrestler ever to realize that you can maintain a bearhug even if the other guy claps his hands, so he reapplies it.

-Tama punches out and Volkoff retaliates with a spinkick. Tama with a sunset flip for two. Cradle gets two more. Atomic drop by Tama, but Volkoff is so big that Tama hurts himself on the move. Volkoff comes off the second rope with a double axehandle and gets three with his feet on the ropes. Pretty lame, Milhouse.

-Bobby still hasn’t opened the gift box.

PEDRO MORALES vs. COWBOY BOB ORTON
-Joined in progress with Orton walking around on the floor at the Boston Garden. Orton sneaks up on Pedro and tries a sneak attack, but Pedro goes to the eyes and fires punches until Orton takes another time-out. Orton tries to pull Pedro out to the floor, but Pedro stays in the ring and kicks him into the barricade. Orton gets back in the ring, only to get punches right out again.

-Orton grabs a camera cable and chokes Pedro down with it. He puts the knees to Pedro and stomps him. Orton goes out to the floor again and attacks Morales on the apron Back in, he punches Pedro and goes to a chinlock. Forearm sends Morales out of the ring and onto the commentary table. Orton applies a choke with the bottom rope, then suplexes him back in the ring for a two-count. Pump splash gets two. He tries again and Pedro raises the knees. He mounts a comeback from there and rams Orton into the turnbuckles. Backdrop gets two. Small package gets two. Pedro throws punches but misses a charge (and does one HELL of a job selling it) and Orton goes for the superplex, but Morales knocks him off and sunset flips Orton for two. Orton reverses it into a roll-up and pulls the trunks for the win. Once Orton got tired of circling the ring angrily, it got good.

-Bobby Heenan thumbs through the new WWF Superstars annual. Hey, I remember those!

-Ken Resnick talks to Jake “TheSnake” Roberts and to be honest, I totally ignored the promo while I checked Ebay for WWF Superstars.

TITO SANTANA & JUNKYARD DOG vs. DREAM TEAM (with Luscious Johnny Valiant & Jimmy Hart)
-From MSG, April 1985. Valentine & Beefcake have just started teaming up and Valentine is still the Intercontinental Champion.

-Tito gets tired of waiting and just lays an ass-kicking on Valentine. Brutus is standing right next to them as it happens, but he doesn’t do anything about it because JYD is staring him right in the eye. That’s awesome.

-JYD and Brutus start the match proper. Brutus gets backdropped immediately, and rolling headbutts send him out to the floor. Dream Team attempts to do some double-dream-teaming, but Valentine gets knocked off the apron, and then the Miracle Mid-Card Connection double-teams Brutus. Chinlock by Tito, but Brutus breaks it with his questionable forearm gear.

-Tito gets trapped in the bad corner and worked over. Valentine with a stomachbreaker, and he ties up Tito and keeps him from tagging out. Beefcake works Tito over with his forearm thing again and tosses him out to the floor. JYD helps his partner back into the ring, so Beefcake hilariously just throws him back out again. Gorilla and Mean Gene actually address the issue of garbage being thrown in the ring, and Mean Gene makes the point that it never hits the person it’s intended for, and it always winds up making the fan who threw it look like an asshole.

-Back from commercial, Beefcake stomps away and forces Tito by his tights into the corner so he can get double-teamed some more. Valentine comes in with a backbreaker for two. JYD can’t take it anymore and runs in to headbutt his opponents. He lands one on Beefcake, but the referee chases him out of the ring while Greg works the leg.

-Valentine slaps Tito, and Tito can handle being outwrestled, but being slapped is an insult and he goes nuts. It turns into a brawl between all four men, and somehow in the confusion, Tito actually manages to make a legal tag and JYD cleans house. Headbutt misses and suddenly the Dog is dazed. Valentine manages to get him to the corner, and the Dream Team targets his legs.

-JYD rakes the eyes of Beefcake and they both tag. Tito is all over The Hammer and clotheslines him all over. Another melee erupts and the flying forearm connects in th middle of it, and that gives JYD and Tito the win. The right two guys carried it.

-Bobby finally opens it. It’s a Jack in the box. It plays “Pop Goes the Weasel,” and Gorilla has tinkered with it so a Bobby Heenan action figure pops out instead.

7.1

The final score: review Good

The 411

Nothing must-see, but a perfectly good use of two hours of television time.