The Name on the Marquee: WWF Prime Time Wrestling (12.1.1986)

-Skipping the November 24, 1986 episode, which came entirely from the Boston Garden card that I just reviewed.

-Originally aired December 1, 1986.

-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.

-Minor set change: They now have a deep blue background instead of the black background, so it no longer looks like they snuck into an abandoned storage room to tape this.

-Minor format change, maybe: Gorilla basically says that going forward, they’re going to try to do more to cover the major storylines in the WWF instead of just rounding up a pile of matches and airing them.

-All but one match comes to us from MSG.

KARATE KID & PEPE GOMEZ vs. LORD LITTLEBROOK & LITTLE TOKYO
-Oh, good, a midget match. That should keep me abreast of the Hogan/Orndorff feud. “I hope it’s a short match,” says the Brain.

-Gomez and Tokyo starts. Tokyo chops him down. Gomez fights back with armdrags and a dropkick. Littlebrook tags in and does a pratfall on his way in. Karate Kid tries some karate, and Littlebrook blocks it by using the referee as a human shield. Kid works the arm, Littlebrook turns it into a side headlock, and Kid turns that into headscissors in a nice sequence.

-Tokyo comes back in and chops away at Karate Kid. Kid, who is the most ‘roided-up midget wrestler ever, fights back with kicks. Heels get Irish whippd into each other, and midget matches are so predictable that Gorilla calls the rowboat before they’ve even hit the mat. Heels do a double-team spot where Littlebrook chokes out each of his opponents without looking, but then gets tricked into choking his own partner without looking.

-Littlebrook tags in to make it up to his partner and takes control with a chinlock and elbows. Back from commercial, Tokyo hurts his balls and the heels pick a fight with the referee. Full nelson by Karate Kid and the heels have a miscommunication spot where Tokyo repeatedly tries to break the hold and keeps accidentally hitting his own partner.

-Tokyo chops away at the Kid and backdrops him. Littlebrook comes in with his own backdrop. Littlebrook accidentally bodypresses his own partner, and Kid and Gomez pile on top of them for the win.

-Heenan (who has clearly done an UGLY blade job fairly recently) boasts about how Hercules has gotten it together ever since joining the Heenan family. The haircut, the beard trimming, and the weight loss have him feeling like a champion and wrestling like one.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE: RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (with Elizabeth) vs. RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT
-Joined in progress from “Superstars of Wrestling.” Yeah, we get a 13-minute midget match in its entirety but let’s not force the fans to suffer through the living hell of Savage vs. Steamboat for seven minutes.

-Savage lands a series of shoulderblocks, but gets armdragged again and Steamboat keeps working on the arm. Savage pulls hair to break it and sends Steamboat into the turnbuckle. Snapmare and a kneedrop by Savage get two. He goes up top and gets a double-axehandle for two, and he seems freaked by it. Steamboat starts throwing chops. Savage reverses an Irish whip into a flying bodypress, but Steamboat rolls through it for a two count. Steamboat rams him into the turnbuckle and takes his own turn at the top rope, connecting with a chop between the eyes, but he throws punches instead of going for the pin, perplexing Vince & Jesse (but not Bruno, who apparently left to take a dump immediately after the show opening).

-Steamboat is sent to the floor and tries to re-enter with a sunset flip, but Savage counters with a punch. Savage tries again and Steamboat skins the cat and rolls him up for two. Savage goes off the ropes and accidentally charges into the referee to KO him, and just in time because Steamboat comes off the top rope with a flying bodypress. Hebner regains consciousness and tries to count the pin, but Danny Davis returns and pulls him away to see if he feels okay after the bump he took.

-Savage charges Steamboat from behind and goes to the floor with him, dropping Steamboat throat-first over the barricade. Savage drapes Steamboat’s neck over the barricade and connects with the axehandle from the top rope, and now Steamboat is gasping and gagging for air. Savage heads back into the ring for the count-out victory, but that’s not good enough. He drags Steamboat back into the ring and comes off the top rope with the ring bell to the throat, and Vince yells “Get the doctor!” as Savage starts to do it again. The EMTs haul ass to the ring and drag Steamboat out to the stretcher, and he goes into convulsions on his way out of the building. And so Randy Savage has successfully eliminated the only wrestler who proved a viable threat to his Intercontinental Title, ensuring his long-term reign and never to have to worry about facing the Dragon again…Right?

UPDATE
-Gene Okerlund says that Steamboat has been diagnosed with a larynx injury and it may be career-ending. We get words from Ricky’s wife and she says he is considering retirement. He’s also despondent about not being able to speak. Gene Okerlund basically eulogizes Ricky and says it’s tragic to see a star like Ricky Steamboat cut down in his prime.

-Bobby Heenan tries to call the Steamboats but can’t get an answer. Apparently Ricky is no damn good at saving money and their phone is disconnected. Mr. Steamboat better learn a skill besides going around and bragging about how she’s the wife of The Dragon because it’s time for her to find a job.

PEDRO MORALES vs. HERCULES (with Bobby Heenan)
-JIP from MSG.

-Herc elbows Morales. Morales fights back with left hands that send Hercules out to the floor. Back in, Morales grounds Hercules with a series of shoulderblocks, but runs into a clothesline. Hercules chokes out Morales. Suplex follows, but an elbow misses. Morales starts mounting a comeback with headbutts and biting. Cradle gets two.

-Backdrop by Morales, followed by a backbreaker that looks like it might finish, but Heenan grabs Morales’ foot and jerks him out of the ring. Morales gets pre-occupied and chases Heenan around while Hercules waits for him to get back inside, and Hercules calmly rolls him up for three. Crowd was hot for Heenan’s antics, but there was not much to the match itself.

-Heenan wants to talk to Mrs. Steamboat…since Ricky can’t talk. Bwahahahahaha.

LEAPING LANNY POFFO vs. STEVE LOMBARDI
-Poffo reads a timely poem about the New York Mets’ World Series win and manages to work in every NY sports team.

-Guys jockey for position and Lombardi get the edge with a hammerlock. Lanny slips out and backslides him. Dropkick follows, and flying headscissors send Lombardi out to the floor. Wristlock by Lanny while Gorilla addresses action from a match not seen in this episode and says George Steele is being taken to the hospital for observation.

-Lombardi gets nasty and tosses Lanny out to the floor. Back in, he applies a chinlock while Gorilla and Lord Alfred amuse themselves by mentioning that Lombardi was trained by Louie Dondero, who, according to Google, was Pat Patterson’s mate.

-Back from commercial, they trade blows, with Lombardi going after the eyes and elbowing his throat to take total control. Lombardi goes back to the chinlock. Lanny sends him into the turnbuckles to break it and mounts a comeback with some impressive right hands and a slam, and a somersault from the top rope gives Lanny the win. Eh.

PIPER’S PIT
-Piper’s scheduled guest is George “The Animal” Steele, but Jimmy Hart walks out and says he distracted George with an Elizabeth poster. Jimmy is uncharacteristically ballsy, taunting Piper without fear. Piper throws a few insults, but Jimmy unflinchingly throws more insults at him. Piper says he really doesn’t feel like beating Jimmy Hart up, so Jimmy slaps Piper across the face a few times until Piper has finally had enough and decides to take action…

-But then Adrian Adonis shows up after being gone for two months and attacks Piper from behind, and THAT was the reason Jimmy was acting so fearless. Jimmy takes a cheap shot with the megaphone, and Adonis knocks Piper out with Goodnight Irene. Jimmy stuffs flowers in Piper’s mouth and walks off laughing.

-Gorilla Monsoon mentions Andre the Giant and Bobby immediately changes the subject, preferring to talk about Adrian Adonis a little more.

-We go to WWF London correspondent Gary Davie with Andre the Giant. Davis announces that Jack Tunney has called off Andre’s suspension. Andre says he made the most of his time off and his fans will be delighted to see what he did during his months off, but he won’t say what it is at this time. He says that he has some other surprises in store for his many fans. And how.

-Gorilla tries to rub it in Heenan’s face that Andre is back in wrestling, and Heenan talks about landmarks and tourist sights in London. Gorilla tries to steer him back toward talking “the big deal you tried to arrange earlier this year” and Bobby talks about signing Hercules. Gorilla finally tells him that he wants Heenan’s opinion on Andre, and Heenan talks about Adrian Adonis. Gorilla is totally frustrated and can’t figure out why Bobby Heenan won’t talk about Andre.

KOKO B. WARE vs. JIMMY JACK FUNK
-Captain Lou Albano is on commentary and says that George escaped from Lennox Hill Hospital and is running around Central Park without proper supervision right now.

-JJ slams the Birdman to start. Koko fights back with a slam of his own and dropkicks JJ out to the floor. Back in the ring, a test of strength goes JJ’s way, but Koko dropkicks out of it and JJ heads to the floor again. Back in, JJ gets monkeyflipped straight down on his head and goes out to the floor again. Question: Who were the people that were always sitting in the front at MSG? Not the front row. I mean the row of chairs that they always had set up in front of the barricade; they were always mostly empty except for four or five people sitting there, none of whom looked like they fit the mold for either employees or wrestling fans.

-JJ finally gets things turned around and applies a chinlock, but Koko gets his second wind and connects with a missile dropkick from the second rope, and the brainbuster finishes JJ off. The slothful pace of the match finishes me off.

-Gorilla finally clarifies that George Steele was injured by Kamala.

BILLY JACK HAYNES vs. COWBOY BOB ORTON (with Jimmy Hart)
-Orton is still wearing a kilt to the ring. It’s been a tough break-up for him. These two had a pretty darn good match in Boston so I’m hoping we end this show on a good note.

-Shoulderblock by Orton, hiptoss by Haynes. They try a test of strength, but Orton ducks and does a waistlock instead. Haynes quite literally flips him off, but gets a thumb to the eye. It turns into a fistfight, with Billy Jack coming out on the winning end of it. Orton goes to the apron to consult Jimmy, and in a cute twist on the old noggin knocker spot, Haynes rams Orton’s head into Jimmy like a turnbuckle, which is a MUCH funnier visual. Gorilla laughs on commentary and Jimmy screams at him on the megaphone from across the ring.

-Orton is fired up after that and fires a series of punches, but a corner charge goes wrong and Orton’s shoulder meets the post. Both guys get more aggressive as we pause for a break.

-Test of strength leads to arm wringers being exchanged. Haynes gets the winning end of that, getting Orton down to the mat and lighting into him with sharp blows to the shoulder and an armbar. Orton bodyslams out, but misses a kneedrop, and Billy goes to a top wristlock. Orton gets free so Haynes atomic drops him out to the floor. Jimmy gives Orton his scarf while he’s out there and Orton heads back in and strangles him with it.

-Shoulderbreaker by Orton gets two. He puts Billy Jack on the top rope to set up the superplex, but Billy Jack throws punches and chops until Orton loses his balance and crotches himself on the top (which he does a hilarious sell for).

-Inverted atomic drop by BJ. He applies the full nelson, but Orton makes it to the ropes. They spill out to the floor, they slug it out, they both get counted out.

-Gorilla tries one more time to get a conversation going about Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan changes the subject every single time.

4.7

The final score: review Poor

The 411

Two decent matches and definitely an eventful week for angles, but man, the rest of the two hours was a tough river to cross.