wrestling / Video Reviews
The Name on the Marquee: WWF Prime Time Wrestling (7.28.1986)
Loading...-Originally aired July 28, 1986.
-Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon & Bobby Heenan.
HANDSOME HARLEY RACE (with Bobby Heenan) vs. TONY GAREA
-From MSG. Heenan demands respectful silence from the crowd while the legendary Race is introduced. The crowd boos, and Howard Finkel eventually finishes his intro because he’s tired of waiting.
-Race attacks Garea from behind and knocks him out to the floor. He rams him into the commentary table for this one and lays a beating on Garea while audio guy Nelson Sweglar cracks up about being completely in the way of the ass-kicking.
-Harley rams Garea into the post and gets back into the ring, and Heenan correctly argues that the match should be over right there because they’ve been on the floor for about two minutes. Garea gets back into the ring and Harley gives him the cradle suplex, and the referee has never seen that move before and doesn’t realize he’s supposed to be counting until he’s clearly told to. He counts two, hesitates, and then realizes that, yes, this is actually the finish, and Harley gets the win. Tony got DESTROYED here and didn’t even get any of his token offense.
Gorilla: Now we take you to a man who’s done it all in the WWF…
Bobby: Iron Mike Sharpe.
Gorilla: Pedro Morales! What has Iron Mike Sharpe EVER done in the WWF?
PEDRO MORALES vs. IRON MIKE SHARPE
–Iron Mike stalls a little bit and connects with the sinister forearm brace. Pedro knocks Iron Mike out of the ring. Back in, Sharpe clubbers and chops until Morales falls out of the ring. MSG is SILENT. Sharpe is doing everything he can to wake the crowd up, firing a slew of forearm shots at Morales that connect with audible smacks. When all else fails, Iron Mike tells the crowd to shut up, and sure enough, they react with the first noise they’ve made since the bell sounded.
-Pedro gets fired up and throws punches and knocks him out of the ring. Pedro rams him into the commentary table, with Iron Mike making it a point to sell directly into a microphone (“Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!”) before heading back into the ring. Irish whip and Iron Mike hits the corner hard enough to sound the bell…seriously, MSG needs to fix that…but misses the charge. Iron Mike gets something out of his tights, but before he can make contact, Morales cradles him for three.
-Bobby Heenan tells the story of Pedro Morales’ family reunion at Central Park. The entire Morales family was there, because none of them had jumper cables.
-Ken Resnick talks to the Junkyard Dog, who says that Bobby Heenan tries to get to the top of the WWF by throwing a wad of money wherever he wants, but he won’t get the host spot on Prime Time, because that spot belongs to the Gorilla.
-We go back to the Flower Shop, with Adorable Adrian meeting Paul Orndorff’s new manager, Bobby Heenan.
TNT: ADORABLE ADRIAN AND MR. BRUCE
-Mean Gene meets Adorable Adrian’s “long-time companion,” Mr. Bruce, who selects all of the flowers that are showcased on the set of the Flower Shop. Adrian examines some of the flowers and says he prefers long stems, as long as they’re not too thin. Mr. Bruce, who is standing directly behind Adrian, thinks he looks fabulous today.
-Everyone gets distracted by a bee swirling around the set, and Gene tells “the fruit” not to get excitable about it. Mr. Bruce creates an array of long-stemmed petunias. “They weren’t long-stemmed before, but as Adrian will tell you, anything that finds itself in my little hands tends to get longer.” Everyone swaps double entendres until the bee finally stings Adrian in the ass. This skit laid there and DIED.
VELVET MCINTYRE vs. PENNY MITCHELL
-From Poughkeepsie.
-Crowd chants “Cellulite” at Penny, which isn’t fair because she’s actually pretty cute. Penny gives Velvet a hard knee to the gut and uses the hair to faceplant her. Flying elbow takes Velvet down, then grabs a handful of hair and just shakes it to jerk Velvet’s head back and forth. Beautiful monkeyflip by Velvet takes Penny down, but she dodges a Thesz press.
-Penny chokes Velvet as this crowd begins a “JYD” chant for no reason. This must have been taped the night after Wrestlemania.
-Snapmare and a knee by Penny get two. Legdrop misses and Velvet finally gets to work with a series of dropkicks, and a victory roll gets two. Giant swing—five revolutions—by Velvet, but she’s so dizzy after doing the move that it gives Penny time to recover and she dodges a splash. Springboard splash by Velvet misses again and Penny really should just quit doing offense at this point and let Velvet accidentally kill herself until she’s ready to be pinned..
-Things get awkward as Penny suddenly gets SUPER-blown up and can’t even kick out of a pinfall attempt, and the referee and both ladies visibly have a powwow on camera about whether or not to wrap this up. Another pinfall attempt gets a sloooooowwwwww two-count with the referee and the women continuing the conversation. Velvet finishes a short time later with another victory roll. Nothing special, but if you have the Network, you have to see the last two minutes of this, it’s just so blatant and odd-looking.
-Bobby Heenan shills some King Kong Bundy merchandise.
-Ken Resnick congratulations Gorilla Monsoon for his Cable ACE Award nomination. BULLSHIT. He talks to Classy Freddy Blassie, who says he’s closing one of the biggest business deals in the history of wrestling, and he’ll have a major announcement to make real, real soon, and then he’s going to buy more jewelry.
-Gorilla shows off a Japanese magazine showcasing The Machines. Heenan loses his temper and launches it across the studio.
KING KONG BUNDY (with Jimmy Hart) vs. SWEDE HANSON
-For some reason, we’re showing a match that’s over a year old, from MSG.
-Swede throws a chop and applies a side headlock. Bundy is able to shove him into the ropes. Shoulderblock has no effect on Bundy, but forearms do, so Bundy goes to the eyes. Bundy chokes him down and clubbers. Swede gets riled up and throws punches and headbutts, but the avalanche and a big elbow put him away quickly. Squash.
-Gorilla acknowledges how old the match was and observes that Bundy has dropped about thirty pounds since joining the Heenan family. Bobby says he suggested that because Bundy is still massive, but he gained speed, so the weight loss made him far more dangerous.
LEAPING LANNY POFFO & GEORGE WELLS vs. JOHNNY K-9 & RUSTY BROOKS
-From Poughkeepsie. Lanny recites his poem from memory, and it’s kind of a long one, so it’s rather impressive. We have another unusually smarky crowd here, chanting for Rusty Brooks.
-Rusty gets tossed around with ease by Lanny. Lanny knocks K-9 off the ropes and he’s so mad that he tags in and manages to do some damages. He drops an elbow on Lanny, then screams “One more time!” and Lanny gets right out of the way. Lanny tosses him to the floor, then springboards from the top rope and bodypresses him.
-Wells takes a beating from both opponents, but fires off enough punches to get K-9 to back off, and he tags Lanny back in. Lanny throws a flurry of punches and a dropkick to ground him, then brings Wells back in. K-9 goes after the injured eye of Wells, but Wells, even partially blinded, is able to suplex him. Football tackle gets three.
-Gorilla points out that Bobby Heenan is in the hole $30,000 and still hasn’t paid off Big John Studd’s bodyslams.
BRETT “Hit Man” HART vs. RICKY “The Dragon” STEAMBOAT
-There’s a background story to this one, as this match was originally booked for Wrestlemania 2, but Vince changed his mind and stuck Bret in the battle royal while Steamboat instead wrestled Hercules. Steamboat, however, was smart enough to notice that Bret had a shitload of talent & potential and personally requested this match to make it up to Hart.
-Brett attacks while Steamboat still has his entrance gear on and takes him down with punches and a headbutt. Irish whip is reversed by Steamboat and Brett does his usual awesome sell from that. Steamboat is PISSED and Brett looks terrified, and Steamboat just unleashes a series of shots between the eyes.
-Steamboat drops a series of chops to work the arm further, then lifts Brett up and drops him down for more damage. He sends Brett shoulder-first into the turnbuckles. Brett tries to get something going by sending Steamboat into the ropes, but gets armdragged down and it’s back to the armbar. Perfectly timed camera work gives us a close-up of Jimmy Hart yammering on his megaphone, followed by a shot of Steamboat yelling “Shut up!”
-Brett fights out of the armbar and blocks a few hiptoss attempts, but the third time is the charm for Steamboat. Armdrag and we’re right back to the armbar. He switches to a wristlock. Brett punches free and tries an atomic drop, but Steamboat rolls out of it and drops Bret with a crescent kick. Steamboat goes for a backdrop, but Bret counters with a neckbreaker. He drops the leg and pauses to celebrate.
-Headbutt by Bret and a boot to the midsection. Shot to the gut by the Hit Man and Steamboat tumbles out to the floor in pain. Right hands by Brett and he suplexes Steamboat back in for a two-count. Side headlock by Bret as a “Steamboat” chant erupts in Boston. Steamboat chops his way out and tries to slam Bret, but collapses and Bret lands on top for two. Slam by Steamboat and both men are out of gas and recover for a moment.
-Dragon recovers and tries a splash, but Brett raises the knees. Brett puts the boots to him and sends him to the floor. Neat touch by Steamboat, who sells being dazed by the punishment by hanging onto the bottom rope like he’s trying to skin the cat, but he’s in the wrong position and too hurt to actually do anything.
-Brett goes out and slams him on the floor. Back in, he tries to finish but Steamboat kicks out at two. Backbreaker by Bret and he heads to the second rope and tries to drop the elbow, but Steamboat rolls out of the way. Chops by Steamboat get two. Back suplex gets two. More shots between the eyes get two. More chopping by Steamboat. Irish whip reversals eventually send Steamboat crashing into the referee. Bret clotheslines him down and gets a visual three-count (which is incredibly generous of Steamboat), but the referee’s out cold. Bret wakes him up and nails Steamboat with a flying bodypress, but Steamboat rolls through and lands on top to pin Bret. This was a guy who needed an opportunity and a generous opponent who was happy to give it to him. The commentators say that Brett shouldn’t feel bad about this one because he gave it his all and the only thing that cost him the win was bad luck.
-Back in the studio, Gorilla repeats that point, saying that Steamboat got a fluke victory over “the man who has what I like to call excellence of execution.”
STEEL CAGE MATCH: TITO SANTANA & BRUNO SAMMARTINO vs. RANDY “Macho Man” SAVAGE (Intercontinental Champion) & ADORABLE ADRIAN ADONIS (with Miss Elizabeth & Jimmy Hart)
-This is an odd choice for feature bout because it’s the main event of an MSG card and they never gave away the main events of these televised house shows on “Prime Time.” It’s especially odd because the feud was specific to the venue and they never address why these four specific guys hate each other so much that we have to involve a cage.
-Heels attack as the faces enter. Savage deals with Santana and Adonis pairs off with Bruno. Faces come back right away and they switch opponents. Bruno overpowers Savage while Adonis dominates Santana. Bruno throws punches while Adonis prefers elbows. Savage fights Bruno off and goes for the door, but Bruno stops him. Meanwhile, Adonis gets launched face-first into the wall. Savage tries to bolt again, but both faces work to stop it. Savage elbows Tito down and tries to go over the wall, but Bruno grabs a foot. Adonis goes into the wall and Tito begins his climb, but gets stopped.
-Things FINALLY start to slow down a little bit as Bruno puts the boots to Savage. Tito & Adonis trade fists with Tito and Tito is on the winning end of that. Savage gets Irish whipped and turned upside-down in the corner. Adrian suplexes Tito and starts to climb, but Bruno won’t allow it. Savage goes for the door again, but Tito DIVES to stop him while Adonis loses his footing and gets crotched on the top rope. Axehandle by Savage onto Tito and Bruno runs over to apply a chinlock of vengeance, but Adonis breaks it.
-Savage rams Tito into the cage while Bruno rams Adonis into the walls. Savage comes off the top rope again and goes for the door, but Bruno stops him. Tito is busted open and Adonis sends him into the walls and cheesegrates him. Bruno gives Savage a hard boot and goes over to tend to Adonis with kicks and punches. Irish whip and Adrian goes face-first into the door. Adrian tries to take advantage of that but Bruno stops him. Savage goes to the top rope this time, but Tito catches him with a boot to the stomach. Adonis tries to escape through the door, and when Bruno pulls him back in, Adonis works so hard to resist him that he strips the wood boards off the stairs. Adonis uses it as a weapon as Savage is now busted open. Adonis comes off the top of the cage, but Bruno moves. Everybody gradually recovers and we have a traffic jam in one corner of the ring as all four men brawl. Tito and Savage brawl on top of the cage. Tito punches Savage so hard that he falls off and lands on Adrian, KOing both men, and Bruno & Tito both head out of the cage for a hard-earned win. Holy crap, that was awesome!
