wrestling / Columns

The Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was 10.17.12: Issue #7

October 17, 2012 | Posted by Sam Smith

Sam Smith’s back. Back again. With another tasty edition of the only wrestling column on the net with Wednesday in the title – The Wednesday Wrestling Week That Was! In unrelated news, everyone’s favorite zombie show with questionable writing, The Walking Dead, is back! Haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. Does Lori do something stupid and irrational? I bet Lori does something stupid and irrational.

As always, I urge you noobs to follow me on Twitter and read my blog! Right, let’s talk about sweaty dudes in briefs.

Go go power Hogans!

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– In our weekly Hulk Hogan news, the Hulkster is still not happy about the release of an old sex tape of his. Our one true hero, Hogan, is suing former friend Bubba the Love Sponge, as well as his ex-wife (and video co-star) Heather Clem. Hulk is also filing a separate lawsuit against Gawker, the website that released a clip of the footage recently. The suits against Bubba and Heather are for secretly filming the video in the first place, whilst the one against Gawker is for publishing it.

Hogan’s attorney said the Gawker suit is for $100 million in damages. No word on how much he’s seeking against Bubba and Heather. The suit claims that Hogan has “reasonable expectation of privacy” in his sex life and “reasonably believed that his privacy was safe and protected.” Hulk is also seeking an order compelling all persons in possession of the tape to turn it over in order for it to be destroyed. The lawyer said they will also sue anyone who republishes the footage.

I do feel sorry for Hogan. He clearly is upset that this video exists, and must feel extremely betrayed by his former “friend” Bubba. One online report claimed that the tape was leaked by a former employee of Bubba, angry after he was let go unpaid. Regardless of who leaked it, Bubba and Heather clearly knew the tape existed – Bubba says near the end of the video, “If we ever did want to retire, all we’d have to do is use this footage.”

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Exactly.

Quibbles aside though, Bound For Glory was a decent show. Worth watching.

– WWE are in the planning processes for the top matches at WrestleMania 29. Michael P.S. Hayes has reportedly been pushing for a Cena/Rock rematch. This would involved Rocky beating Punk for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble, and Cena winning the rumble itself. The rest is elementary. This is what I’ve been predicting for a while – the ‘E are clearly setting up a Punk/Rock match for some point. The other way I could have seen it happening was if Cena beats Punk for the title and later loses it to Rock, whilst Punk wins the Rumble, setting up a Punk/Rock title match for WM. The first seems more likely, especially considering Cena’s current injury.

– WWE are also considering a Punk/Undertaker match for WrestleMania, with Punk’s mentality being that ending the streak will finally get him some respect. I dunno, man. Last time you went up against Taker it didn’t end so well.

– CM Punk vs. Ryback is official for Hell in a Cell. Regular readers will know I am a shameless Ryback fan, but I have mixed feelings about this. WWE have backed themselves into a corner here – if it was a regular match, a DQ finish could keep the title on Punk and keep Ryback undefeated. In a HitC match however, someone has to win, which means one of the above is over. I can see the match going to a non-finish – Punk escaping the cell somehow, and fleeing the arena. Ending Ryback’s streak now is a bad idea, and he certainly isn’t ready for the title, so this might be the only way to go. This whole scenario was a hastily-thought-out B-plan due to Cena being injured. Ryback will be ready for the main event one day, but I think it is still too soon, for now. Still, he is clearly over. Oh yeah –

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No.

– Randy Orton is still desperate to turn heel, and apparently WWE will be granting his wish quite soon, feeling that Sheamus is now strong enough to be the top face on Smackdown. I for one am looking forward to it. Orton has always seemed more suited to a heel role, in my eyes.

– Tammy “Sunny” Sytch is going back to rehab!…….again! Sunny posted the following on her Facebook page, via her lawyer:

I am Tammy’s lawyer Rob Serafinowicz and Tammy asked me to issue the following statement on her behalf. Tammy thanks everyone for all their support. She will be entering a long term treatment program soon and looks forward to putting this situation behind her.

Welp, you know what they say. Fifth/sixth/seventh/etc time’s the charm!

– According to an article in the New York Post, a recent study says that WrestleMania 29 could generate over $100 million for the NY/New Jersey area. 100 million! Turns out WrestleMania is a big deal.

– Ring of Honor’s “Glory by Honor XI” iPPV last Saturday went pretty well. The promotion issued a press release saying there were just under 1,500 live and replay PPV views, including 350 who had never ordered an RoH show before. With a live crowd of 900 fans, the show can be considered a success. I didn’t watch it myself, but from those who did, it sounded pretty good. The key thing here is that RoH ran a successful iPPV without any big issues stopping people from viewing. Keeping this up will win them back a lot of lapsed fans.

– And lastly, Zack Ryder posted on Twitter that he submitted two different versions of the 88th episode of his show, Z! True Long Island Story, but both were rejected by WWE –

“I made 2 different Episode 88s of Z! True Long Island Story. They will be never be seen. The third Episode 88 will air next Friday. #best1?”

Poor old Zack. He got himself over and he sells a ton of merch, and still can’t get a push to save his life. I haven’t watched his show since it started airing on WWE’s YouTube channel (all those ads!), and from the sound of it I ain’t missing much. But Zack keeps plugging away, and you can’t deny the guy’s work ethic. Maybe, hopefully, one day, someone in the back will get off their high horse and realise that Ryder is still, despite their best efforts, popular with the fans and could be a big draw. One day.

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A little promo leads to Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

I liked D-Bry slowly turning around as everyone is looking at him in the back, with a look of disbelief on his face. Funny stuff.

CM Punk is indecisive

But what would his decision have been? I NEED TO KNOW

Brodus Clay vs. Alberto Del Rio

ADR Booking Strategy 101: Win every match on television. Lose every match on PPV. Repeat.

The Prime Time Playas vs. Team CoBro

Jinder Mahal wearing all the leathers with the turban just looks a bit…. weird. Drew looks oddly suitable in all that stuff though. Also, it should prove how much of a nerd I am that when they announced themselves as 3MB, my first thought was “3 Mana Break?”

Ryback vs. Dolphtunga

For a brief second I hoped this was the start of a Ziggler face turn, but nah. At least he didn’t eat the pin this time!

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel

DAT UPPERCUT. DAYUMMMM

I continue to be a large Cesaro fan. I wonder if that 450 splash was botched a bit, or if that weird landing was planned. Hrmmm.

Matt Striker vs. Kane

Man, that post match “interview” was fantastic. I love comedy Kane.

Miz TV

Miz saying a lot of things that are essentially true. Kofi failing to quite match up in promo skills. I like Kofi, but his speaking abilities still need a bit of fine-tuning.

Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett

Another entertaining, physical match, and another non-finish. If these guys have a real feud at some point, the matches could get seriously good.

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The Rhodes Scholars vs. Primepico

Wait, is that Rey and Sin Cara without their masks on?

I love the little handshake-into-a-cartwheel thing Cody and Sandow have been doing after their matches. Classy.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty non-eventful until SWEET JESUS THAT KICK

I re-watched this thing about ten times and it still made me laugh.

Or, alternatively, gif!

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Something obviously went wrong here. Normally of course a wrestler would get a hand up to take some of the impact. Perhaps someone was in the wrong position, Kofi did the move with too much force, Miz didn’t realize it was coming, something. Poor Miz, the guy went down like a sack of shit and was clearly extremely out of it afterwards. Is this another Kofi push gone up in smoke thanks to a botch? I hope not. I also hope the Miz is okay and not concussed at all. At the end of the day though, man – this thing is fun to watch.

HitC match announced

This was okay. Perfectly serviceable work from all involved, but it didn’t really feel special like last week’s ending did. Cena just giving his spot away also seems a bit flimsy, logic wise. I’ve already given my opinions on the actual match above.

Another rather good episode of Raw this week. Plenty of decent stuff with nothing that bad.

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Time to reply to some comments from you horrible little urchins. FIRST UP –

iced coffeecan someone explain to me why supporting ryback is a bad thing? i dont get it

CortezNobody REALLY does… it’s just another IWC bandwagon. Like turning against Punk immedietly after the “pipe bomb” promo, all the people who started griping that Austin couldn’t wrestle right after he won his first WWF Title, and blaming the PG rating on the decline of edginess in WWE rather than the move to becoming a public entity instead of a privately owned company. Don’t stress yourself out over it.

Kung-Fu PandaBecause it’s not “cool” to like someone that doesn’t have a 5-star moveset, is jakked, or popular. Don’t you know Rules 1-3 of the IWC handbook?

I understand why many in the IWC dislike Ryback. The guy is huge, his promo skills aint the best, and he has a limited, power-based moveset. Not exactly an internet checklist of desirable qualities in a wrestler.

But, in my opinion, a well-booked, hard-hitting strong-man can be extremely effective, and very popular. When it’s done badly, it’s pretty darn bad. But when it’s done right, as I think it mostly has been with Ryback, it can be fantastic fun to watch. You don’t need a moveset to rival Ricky Steamboat’s if hitting a simple clothesline looks as badass as it does when Ryback does it. I agree completely that the man is still a bit green, and not quite ready for the main-event push he seems to be getting. But yes, I am a Ryback fan. On the internet. I hereby declare this column the haven for internet Ryback apologists everywhere.

And remember guys, if you are not a fan –

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G-WallaYou’re hyperbole was the most extreme example I’ve ever read. And if you think R-Truth and Clay dancing was as bad as you say, and there’s no denying that my IQ dropped a few points, I would just like to welcome you on your first week of watching wrestling.

You realise that calling my hyperbole the most extreme you have ever seen is hyperbole right? Plus, I’ve been writing this thing for seven weeks now, so I’ve been watching wrestling at least that long. YOU LOSE. AHAHAHAHA

Woo in my WoooIn regards to a potential title for Hulk Hogan’s upcoming pornographic endeavor, may I respectfully suggest “No Holes Barred.”

Yes. Good. Applaud this man.

BonerfiedJust to clarify, that Batista MMA fight was the worst exhibition of cage fighting I’ve ever seen. The guy he fought looks like me with my shirt off, and that’s not a good thing.

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty – the MMA equivalent of a squash match. And with a couple of those shots Big Dave took to start with, even that might have gone wrong! But like I said last week, I give Batista credit for following through with this and doing something he had always wanted to try, even if he is the wrong side of 40.

That’ll do it for this week kids. I’m Sam Smith, reminding you to follow me on Twitter and read my blog!

Until next week, stay classy, the internet!

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