wrestling / Columns

The Wrestling 5&1: Hell in A Cell – Making Herstory

October 28, 2016 | Posted by Tony Acero

Image Credit: WWE

We are nearer and nearer to cuffing season, so if you don’t already have a lady interest, get one now – they tend to be more malleable during the winter. I’m officially 30, guys, and although it’s only been a couple of days, I can already feel my health deteriorating. My doctor says to blame the whiskey, but what do they know? With regards to wrestling, Hell in a Cell is less than a week away, and although some writers would have you PG-ify the title, I appreciate the many different ways wrestlers tell us that they’re going to hell this week. From Roman to Sasha, it appears that we’re going to burn quite brightly come Sunday. On the not so bright side of things, Ryback speaks and it appears that someone actually thought Brock Lesnar wouldn’t get cheers in Minnesota. Let’s talk about wrasslin!

Shall we dance?

FIVE

Hell in a Cell Makes Herstory and That’s Ok

There was a time when a Hell in a Cell match meant blood, sweat, blood, tears, and more blood. A fat man fell from the sky into a truck, a dude lost his tooth, someone broke a foot, I mean…shit was brutal. Those times are gone, though, and it appears – as usual – that a majority of us are living in the past when we look at the card this year and expect the be all, end all, of a feud. I’d even go a step further to call out those who claim this is the end of a blood feud between two people, when, by definition, that’s simply not what blood feud means. I have yet to see a familial battle stretch the course of time to culminate in a Cell. In terms of brutality, the last “brutal” Hell in a Cell match I recall is maybe HHH vs HBK in 2004? That was 12 years ago. The last Hell in a Cell that of the TV-14 era was The Undertaker vs Edge, I think, and even that was relatively tame, all things considered. So I ask, where is this notion that Hell in the Cell is the brutal end game of a blood feud. Perhaps once upon a time, it was, but in the past eight years, we have seen the namesake of this PPV change quite a bit.

I will agree that the dilution of Hell in a Cell is annoying, but only to a degree. The WWE is only as good as we allow it to be, and if we don’t accept that Hell in a Cell is just like the rest of the WWE – a different product than it was 8 years ago – then we will continue to be disappointed with what we see. I’m not asking to forget about the past, but I’m asking to appreciate the present – at least only so much as you are able to as a fan. This, of course means that I am not saying there are no issues with the stories that lead up to the PPV. Simply put, while we can alter the mindset of our necessity for blood and intensity, we cannot alter our mindset of apathy, and even though Sasha and Charlotte has been great, there have been – at times – something missing from all three of the “main events” we are waiting anxiously for. Let’s get into these:

United States Championship:
Rusev vs Reigns

This feud suffers from the reality that no one really likes Reigns. We know that kids cheer for him. We know that there is a part of us that is supposed to be cheer for him, and we know that the product has tried its hardest to condition us to cheer for him, but for every dumb ass fan on Twitter, there are 10 more smart fans in live attendance. Simply put, the pendulum has shifted, and we are no longer basement-dwelling drones, ready to suck at the teat of every WWE would-be superstar. It is because of this, and the WWE’s unrelenting force-feeding of Roman Reigns to us that any feud he is in will die an oddly apathetic death. Rusev has done everything he could to stand out here, and he’s done so very well, but the problems that existed pre-HIAC are still prevalent; Reigns simply isn’t the face in this equation. He continues to heel it up in every promo, and even as recent as this past Monday, Rusev has come off as a dude tired of Reigns’ bullshit. Hell, we are too.

This, of course, leads us to the actual Hell in a Cell match, and really the only match I think people can complain about not having a proper build in which to settle a score inside a Cell. I can whole heartedly agree with the naysayers here, as it doesn’t really seem like a match that necessitates and ending within the confines of such a “hellacious” conclusion. Still, I don’t think this has anything to do with the match itself as much as it does the writing of the Roman Reigns character, and the story that’s being told. It’s somewhat boring and seems like a placeholder moreso than anything.

If there is one positive to come from the formatting of the Hell in a Cell match, it’s that even though the brutality isn’t what it’s used to be, it adds an air of importance, and thereby makes the wrestlers involved step their game up. I predict Reigns and Rusev will be no different, and will put together something that is at least somewhat above stellar.

Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens

Can we first take a second to appreciate that fact that the former Tyler Black and Kevin Steen are going to be facing off for the biggest title in the WWE within the confines of a Hell in a Cell match? I mean, honestly guys…this is a huge deal. Nevermind the fact that there won’t be any blood, or that it’s not as brutal as we’d want it to be. It’s Rollins vs Owens, guys. Black vs Steen. I mean, son. Of. A. bitch. Ok, fanboy-ism aside, I don’t find this all that badly written of a feud. Sure, there’s some missteps, but they are too minor to focus on. Jericho’s addition to the feud, as well as his list, are welcomed, and Seth’s slow turn into a face has come off as completely organic. Too many times, we see a face come out and go directly to the crowd for support and love, when just a week prior, they were talking shit. Seth’s character has gone the route of focusing more on the title than anything the fans have to offer. In fact, one could say that we’ve turned, not Seth. For him to stick to his guns means we have had to make an alteration in our acceptance of him, not the other way around. Those are the best turns.

As for the match, and the “intensity” necessary for them two to get to such heights, I – for one – think this is the perfect feud to get a Hell in a Cell match. Seth practically hates Owens, and Owens is the perfect slimy dude to try and get out of this while still understanding the “payday” this will bring. For the first time in a long time, I feel like there is a loose plan for the future beyond just this match, and that’s a refreshing feeling. We are in a period of wrestling where feuds will stand still for a bit due to the teams being made for Survivor Series, and that’s ok. Not every feud needs to end right away, and some will go on to last for years. Don’t you miss those? This could be one. We’ve got a lot of factors outside that could help guide this thing towards the doldrums of December. Jericho is RIGHT THERE! Where’s Triple H? How much does Stephanie know? What will Mick feel like once he knows?

Sasha Banks vs Charlotte

By now, I would assume that you all are aware of how I feel about Sasha Banks, the wrestler, and the woman. She has taken the place of AJ Lee in that she could do no wrong, regardless of her flaws. It’ll be a rare case where I am serious enough to point them out, but don’t think I am not aware. Her promo skills leave something to be desired more often than not, and she inflects her voice at the wrong times every now and then. Still, she speaks with passion that I feel is all too real to fake, and she feels like so much more than a caricature. She is, in every sense of the word, a boss b****. And as a boss bitch, she should exude confidence so much to the point that it’s annoying. Some are claiming that there is not enough fear instilled in the two women who will be facing off in a Hell in a Cell match. That they don’t seem scared enough, and that they don’t realize the impact and the shortening of careers that this devastating match entails.

Fuck no, they don’t! They are both egotistical, self-fulfilled, and entitled! These aren’t insults! Sasha Banks, and Charlotte for that matter, are both characters that feel they deserve – not just what the men are getting – but more! They have ushered in this new era. To them, they are the top of it. They don’t like each other at all, but they get what they’ve given to this division and just how much of an impact they’ve had on it. Do you think, for one second, that they’re going to sit there and show fear to a world that denied them their spot for years? A spot they had to scratch and claw to get? Hell nah. They want to talk about history because it IS history. They want to talk about worth and rise of women because that’s what it IS! Win or lose, champion or challenger, both women understand that they have officially made history, and they didn’t need one to goad the other into it. One isn’t more “courageous” than the other. One isn’t a higher risk taker than the other. Both have done some questionable moves in the name of women’s wrestling, so I don’t predict either of them to be truly “scared” to be in a Hell in a Cell, and why should we expect to? Is that what we need as males? To feel like these little girly girls should be afraid to step foot in the same world as a man – where they bled and nearly died? Fuck you.

Now, if I could leave the kayfabe explanation above alone for a bit – simply put, I am so fucking proud to be living during the time frame where women’s wrestling is, often times, some of the best wrestling on the card. I prefaced the above by pointing out the flaws of my own personal favorite for a reason. I want people to understand that I see the issues within the feud and players, but the problem IS NOT the Cell. This feud is the epitome of long-term, and has the feel of a big deal, as well as the possibility of a game-ender. I see no issue with this match going on at all, and would love for it to ho on last. Does it have to? No. History is made. It’s ok. It’s there. And it’s awesome. But if it did go on last, I’d likely choke up a bit for them.

Your Turn: Is the homogenized version of Hell in A Cell a detriment to the gimmick?

FOUR

Hell in a Cell Predictions

S I’m curious to see how you think this Sunday will turn out, but I’m not savvy enough to embed a survey IN the actual column. Do me a favor and either a) click the link below to fill in your predictions, or just tell me in the comments! Thanks!!

View Survey

THREE

Ryback Won’t Leave

When Ryback was in the WWE, I had a lot of issues with him. It’s hard, sometimes, to divide a celebrity from his talent. Often times, I’ve told people if I ever met Justin Beiber or Chris Brown, I’d love to get in a physical fight with them long enough to just get a single punch to the face in. Still, I can’t deny the talent that each man possesses. In fact, Beiber’s last album was pretty much fire, y’all. But I digress. Ryback is in the similar vein in that each week, I would watch him on TV, and think to myself that he’s actually growing as an in-ring performer. I recall his book promos, and considered them a step above garbage (they lacked a solid foundation and didn’t gel well with persona). I remember each week it seemed like he was trying to learn a new move, or trying to add to his stamina and intensity. In short, I was proud of him. Then, I’d see a tweet by him and it would just make my eyes roll. He would complain about fans, his treatment, how he felt he should be gaining more, etc. I saw him raise a white IC Title in the air then tweet how he deserved more within a week.

It should come as no surprise, then, that months after his release with the WWE, he is STILL talking about it. I get that every person should assume they deserve the best, and strive to be at the top of whatever game they’re involved in. Every week, I write this column knowing in my mind that I am the greatest writer on the site. Is that true? Probably not (I know Len would definitely give me a run for my money), but it’s what I believe. The difference between Ryback and myself (aside from about 100 lbs of muscle), is that I don’t post on Twitter how my column is constantly pushed back, or how I should be in Fact or Fiction a bit more. I don’t get mad when the RAW Report isn’t at the top of the page for five days. It has gotten to the point where if I see Ryback’s name, I completely ignore it. I don’t care what he has to say about a company that we are all pretty much well aware of in terms of pettiness. We get it; you didn’t get what you wanted or what you felt you deserved, which is why you left, right? So now that you’re gone, stop talking about it. Go make your name elsewhere. Be that great BIG GUY you think you are.
There’s nothing wrong with thinking you’re the best thing ever, just know that you’ll most likely get humbled before time has passed, and it’s not going to feel good when you’re left all alone on Inside Pulse.

Your Turn: Does Ryback have a right to continually talk about his previous employer?

TWO