The Wrestling News Experience: 11.19.12
Monday, November 19th, 2012
From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Life Well Spent!
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to, more or less, the end of nine years of the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and I hear if I make it to ten years, they let you see the pictures that AJ Grey isn’t allowed to post.
Yes, nine years, nearly every week barring marriage, trips to Florida, and the occasional week where I just plain didn’t feel like it (I’m kidding, I was sick), I’ve covered incredible amounts of wrestling news, for such a long time, which is clearly what someone who hates wrestling would do. Oh, wait.
Don’t worry (or do, I suppose), I’m not going anywhere yet. Although if the Jays manage to win a World Series (which is clearly, no longer the joke it was a week ago), I may go insane with happiness, so who knows what might happen.
All right, let’s see if I can make this less confusing. Headings for everything!
The opening promo, which talks all about the tradition of Survivor Series, and says the word “survival” roughly six dozen times, says absolutely nothing about the traditional Survivor Series match that’s on the card.
Uh oh, Punk signs, Sandow signs, Ziggler signs. It’s a Smark City!
Hey, we get a bonus Survivor Series match! Yeah, we didn’t need to promote this beforehand, who cares about Survivor Series matches at Survivor Series.
Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs Tensai, The Prime Time Players, Primo, and Epico – Survivor Series Match
According to JBL, Clay is what happens when you cross a plesiosaur with Adele. Okay, I know what a plesiosaur is, but what’s Adele?
And for some reason Sin Cara and Rey are wearing cream soda pink tonight. Meanwhile, the PTP went with orange creamsicle. Who dressed these people?
Well, I guess Cody’s okay to go tonight, if Tensai’s out there now.
Early prediction: the team with less jobbers will win. The faces should probably be happy Rey Mysterio’s on their team.
Holy crap, Tensai and Brodus just massively fucked up a suplex spot. That could have been so bad. Actually, the whole sequence was bad. Somebody’s going to end up fired or jobbing on Superstars for the next year or so over that.
Tensai eliminated Brodus Clay (pinfall, Senton)
And the crowd loses what little interest they had in the match, foreseeing the long slog until they can get into the finish involving Mysterio. Seriously, you could feel the air go out of the arena when he pinned Clay.
Justin Gabriel eliminated Tensai (pinfall, crucifix pin)
Tyson Kidd eliminated Titus O’Neal (pinfall, victory roll)
Tyson Kidd eliminated Epico (submission, Sharpshooter)
Man, who decided to let Kidd have all the fun tonight?
Ah, here we go, Rey’s in and the crowd gets interested again.
Rey Mysterio eliminated Primo (pinfall, La Magistral)
What is this, “see how many different ways we can pin someone with a rollup”?
Rey Mysterio eliminated Darren Young (pinfall, Parade of Highspots)
Team Mysterio defeated Team Tensai (Survivors: Mysterio, Sin Cara, Gabriel, Kidd)
Hey, a blonde chick’s attacking Kaitlyn again! It’s déjà vu all over again! This time, it’s Aksana. Which doesn’t really prove who did it last time, but whatever.
Kaitlyn vs Eve Torres © – Divas Championship
Well, at least JBL is having fun during this match. Somebody should be.
And Eve slips going up to the top rope. Well, at least that means she won’t be trying her “moonsault”.
Eve pinned Kaitlyn to retain the Divas title (pinfall, neckbreaker)
And nobody cares. On the bright side, nobody was seriously injured.
Wait, you’re kidding me. They chose Otunga to replace Rhodes? I’d feel like I’d have a better chance to win with freaking Ricardo.
Well, Mick gets credit for paraphrasing Lincoln, if nothing else.
Antonio Cesaro © vs R-Truth – United States Championship
I don’t get why Antonio hates the United States. I thought the Swiss were supposed to be neutral. Maybe in the modern world, justified hatred that doesn’t escalate to acts of terrorism is the closest thing we can get to neutrality. Let us think on this.
Or don’t, whatever.
Oh lord, JBL is confusing Cole by talking about rugby. Even I know the All Blacks are from New Zealand!
I don’t think chanting “USA” counts as quoting Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Cole.
You know what? Even if I didn’t know that Cesaro has all that indy cred as a great wrestler, I’d still think he’s a big part of WWE’s future. The guy just looks like a winner.
Antonio Cesaro defeated R-Truth to retain the US Title (pinfall, Neutralizer)
Okay, now I’m curious. Who’s the second Otunga in the law firm of Otunga and Otunga?
I think there was content here, but every time I tried to pay attention my brain screamed. I mean, I remember seeing AJ, and then it all goes black for a while.
Boy, how nice of WWE to provide me with filler for their PPV. It makes it easier to finish the rest of my column.
Apparently while I was elsewhere, Tamina attacked AJ to no reaction, likely because nobody in attendance knows that she’s the daughter of Jimmy Snuka. Or who she is at all, since she’s been off TV for months. This is what, push #3 for Tamina? Maybe this one will last longer than a month.
Sheamus vs The Big Show © – World Heavyweight Championship
Well, if the World title match is happening now, that would seem to cut down the odds of Ziggler cashing in.
I will admit that I didn’t like Show and Sheamus’ previous showing at Hell in a Cell. I will also admit that this is a much better match.
I wasn’t sure how we were going to have Show beat Sheamus a second time. I actually don’t mind the ref bump, in this case.
The Big Show defeated Sheamus to retain the World Heavyweight title (pinfall, KO Punch)
Technically, even if Show gets DQ’d, he still doesn’t lose the title, so why bother reversing the decision? I mean, I assume we’re getting a rematch either way, and since Sheamus just attacked Show with a chair, looks like we have our Chairs Match for TLC. Ah well, here’s the actual, official decision.
Sheamus defeated The Big Show by DQ. Show retains the World Heavyweight title.
Team Foley vs Team Ziggler – Survivor Series Match
I didn’t think it was possible, but I think Otunga might have actually regressed as a worker. He blew a powerslam on the smallest guy in the match!
Kane eliminated Damien Sandow (pinfall, chokeslam)
So Otunga wasn’t first eliminated? Really?
Dolph Ziggler eliminated Kane (pinfall, ZigZag)
Daniel Bryan eliminated David Otunga (submission, No Lock)
Is it bad to mention at this point that the jobber Survivor Series match was more interesting than this one has been so far?
Wade Barrett eliminated Kofi Kingston (pinfall, Souvenir)
Alberto Del Rio eliminated Daniel Bryan (submission, Cross Arm-Breaker)
Miz comes in for his first action, and I don’t know what they did to kill this crowd, but they have not given a shit for a while. They won’t even get behind the newly turned face. Or maybe it’s just the ones facing the hard camera.
Fortunately, Miz cuts off the pumphandle slam before Cole can finish improperly calling it Wasteland.
The Miz eliminated Wade Barrett (pinfall, Skull-Crushing Finale)
Alberto Del Rio eliminated The Miz (pinfall, enziguri)
Well, that was kind of a kick in the head of the fans. And The Miz, obviously.
Not that it’s a huge shock, but the sock gets a bigger pop than anything else so far.
Randy Orton eliminated Alberto Del Rio (pinfall, RKO)
Well, for a second there, I thought they might let Ziggler pin Orton. But that would be silly, right?
Dolph Ziggler eliminated Randy Orton (pinfall, Superkick)
Team Ziggler defeated Team Foley (Survivor: Dolph Ziggler)
I’ll be damned. Impetus for an Orton heel turn, or just a realization that maybe the guy who will win the World title in the next few months should probably be booked like less of a loser? Either way, not a bad result.
CM Punk © vs John Cena vs Ryback – WWE Championship
Hey, the rumours are true, John Cena underwent some character development. That’s right, he’s got a new shirt!
Oh lord, Punk’s running wind sprints in order to stall. Make Cena run! He never sweats anyway!
Hah, I love the grudging double team between Cena and Punk! In one look you get “look, we hate each other, but we’re not going to beat this guy one-on-one”.
And now we get the “wrestling” portion of tonight’s main event. Although let’s be fair to Ryback, it’s not like he’s been doing badly out there, but he’s not going to look like anything compared to the prospect of watching Cena vs Punk. That’s one of those matchups I could watch for hours.
Oh shit, it’s Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins! And Roman Reigns, but more importantly, the first two!
CM Punk defeated John Cena and Ryback to retain the WWE Championship (Punk pinned Cena, Shellshock (stolen pin))
This was…a good PPV! Plus, one would assume naming Rollins, Reigns, and Ambrose on air would suggest they finally have a TV role for them. Hopefully not just as people for Ryback to eat. One might presume that Maddox might be part of their little group too, but I guess we’ll see.
Oh, and Punk pinned Cena again. Respect him!
Last night, CM Punk beat the odds and extended his WWE Title reign to a full 365 days, defeated Ryback and John Cena in a Triple Threat match at the very same PPV where he won the title one year ago. Punk now lays claim to the eighth-longest WWE Title reign in wrestling history, and he looks to keep it going even longer, despite what the naysayers might think.
Of interest during the WWE Title match, three members of the NXT roster, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns, leapt out of the crowd and assaulted Ryback, leaving the monstrous wrestler laying in a pile of broken announce table. What was the intent behind this sudden appearance of three of NXT’s brightest stars? We hope to get an explanation tonight!
And with all the Survivor Series teams disbanded, normal feuds can resume, as it is clear that The Miz would still like another shot at Kofi Kingston, while Team Hell No looks closer to the brink of destruction than ever before, after Daniel Bryan caused Kane to be eliminated in their match last night. Could the unlikeliest of unlikely tag team champions be on the verge of being dethroned by their own lack of teamwork?
And Big Show retained the World title, although the decision was controversial, as Show was DQ’d, but did pin Sheamus, as no bell was ever officially rung to stop the match. Post-match, Sheamus wore Show out with a steel chair, so one would imagine things will continue to escalate.
And after AJ showed photos of Vicki Guerrero in various, um, “compromising situations” last night at Survivor Series, apparently we’re moving on to a feud with the returning Tamina Snuka! Don’t let the exclamation point fool you, this couldn’t be a biggest waste of time.
All this and more, as 2012 enters its final weeks and the latest Apocalypse threatens our very survival (maybe), tonight on Raw!
– Rumours are coming down that John Morrison and Melina may have been involved in a domestic incident this weekend. Obviously, there’s nothing funny about that, but if one were to put down money on a wrestling couple most likely to have a big blow-up, especially now that both are well out of the spotlight and less relevant by the day, I would imagine that your money would be on those two.
– Five wrestlers have been released from WWE’s NXT developmental territory. I’d list their names, but they’re so generic you’ll never remember them anyway. Hell, I can’t remember them to write them down, and I just read the list!
– DDP and Jake Roberts are going to be the subject of a reality show where Page tries to help Jake get his life back on track. See, if reality TV had started with crazy stuff like this instead of Survivor, I probably wouldn’t have hated it from the get-go.
– In a newspaper interview, Kurt Angle says he feels forgotten by WWE. The nerve of those bullies in Stamford, not wanting to mention a guy who’s actively working in the main event of a different promotion! Sure, they’ve frozen out anybody who leaves the promotion for another one, including one of their biggest draws in history in Hulk Hogan, but this is Kurt Angle we’re talking about! Clearly, he deserves an exception!
– Sales of WWE ’13 were slightly down, but not enough to be an issue. The game still looks like it won’t be enough to save developer THQ, and the WWE license will likely end up with another company by the end of 2013. Maybe the new developer will give us the wrestling game we’ve been clamouring for: Crush Hour 2!
In celebration of my ninth anniversary of covering wrestling for 411Mania, here are the top ten news stories that I most remember, good or bad, from my tenure here. Come, feel old with me.
I wasn’t an ECW fan. That’s what I most remember as WWE was talking about this “ECW revival PPV”. I hadn’t been a part of the bingo hall, drank the Kool-Aid, or seen anything to do with Paul Heyman’s baby. So my expectations were not high when I decided, on a whim, to purchase the One Night Stand PPV. I was so glad that I did, the uniqueness and passion that I saw that night refreshed me as a wrestling fan, and this show still ranks as one of my favourite PPVs of all time.
Of course it was a work. That did not make it less awesome. This is actually a combination of Punk’s promo, which got me to order Money in the Bank, and then the finish that I don’t think anyone truly thought they’d do, as he won the title and escaped WWE through the crowd. Whatever failures might have followed, the Summer of Punk was still, for at least a short time, glorious.
It’s funny, what I most remember about this story was that I was tapped to write a news bit when the whole story broke because I was the only writer available at the time with site access. And then Ashish still managed to beat me to the punch. No wonder I didn’t last as an editor.
The circumstances and length of Edge’s first WWE Title reign weren’t exactly the stuff legends are made of, although it did set the tone for all future Money in the Bank cash-ins. As crazy as it sounds, even to me, the evidence is undeniable: Edge is my favourite wrestler of all time, and his first title reign was a big deal to a guy who’d been a fan since the first time I saw him hanging out in the rafters.
Usually, big wrestling stories break on Mondays or Tuesdays, due to PPV or Raw fallout, or just because news leaks out after a quiet weekend, which means I’m often the last 411 writer to get to speak on a subject. Lucky me, this story broke on a Sunday. Seven years later, words still can’t express how incredibly sad this news made me, and still makes me every time I remember it. It’s one of the (thankfully) few times I’ve truly seen wrestling fans united in grief, and was one of my darkest times as a wrestling fan.
A tragic story for entirely different reasons, the shockwaves that Chris Benoit created with is actions are still being felt today, and not just inside pro wrestling, as it was a huge factor in the increased studies on the effects of concussions in all pro sports. It’s a shame that this is what the catalyst was.
Sure, everything that followed has become a long, tired, running joke, but we voted Shawn Michaels vs Ric Flair as Match of the Year almost entirely based on the massive emotions involved in watching a true Legend wrestle (what we thought at the time would be) his last match. As send-offs go, a MOTY at WrestleMania followed by a gigantic tribute show the next night on Raw ain’t not too bad for one of the biggest stars in the history of the sport.
I mean, the story doesn’t have a truly happy ending, like all things in wrestling, but charting the progress of Zack Ryder, from lackey to forgotten man to ECW reinvention to Superstars jobber to Internet sensation to United States champion was truly something to behold. Especially since his entire rise was fueled solely by Ryder’s ingenuity, the passion of his fans, and a little YouTube show by the name of “Z! True Long Island Story”. Woo woo woo, you know it.
Oh, and for the last time, he pre-dates Jersey Shore. They’re ripping him off.
Sure, it was silly, it dragged on longer than it probably should have, and we knew who it was going to be (even though we tried to talk ourselves out of it several times). But to me, Y2J’s 2nd Coming was still a great moment in television, and if I recall correctly, the first episode of wrestling that I watched with the woman who would eventually become my wife.
Okay, this one was only really memorable because it was such a monumentally bad idea that everyone could see failing except for TNA. At least they gave up on it fairly quickly and backed way off on thinking they were in any shape to compete with WWE. Hell, they even got me to start watching again, eventually.
Inactive List as of 11.05.12
– Alex Riley, out indefinitely as of September 20th (knee and elbow surgeries)
– Evan Bourne, out indefinitely as of March 19th (foot)
– Christian, out indefinitely as of September 1st (elbow)
– Curt Hawkins, out indefinitely as of October 8th (multiple surgeries)
– Hunico, out indefinitely as of November 1st (ACL)
– Mark Henry, out indefinitely as of May 1st (surgery)
– Derek Bateman, out indefinitely as of October 30th (knee)
– Skyler Moon, out indefinitely as of September 27 (rehab)
– Chris Sabin, out 6-9 months as of June 14th (ACL)
– Jesse Sorenson, out at least one year as of February 12th (spine)
– Mickie James, out indefinitely as of October 16th (surgery)
– The Pope, out 2-3 months as of August 12th (broken collarbone)
– Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, NXT, made main roster debut at Survivor Series PPV
– Cody Rhodes, SD!, out indefinitely as of November 14th (concussion, shoulder)
– Lincoln Broderick, Chad Baxter, Chase Donovan, Louis Fontaine, and Nick Rogers, NXT, released from their contracts
– Tamina Snuka, RAW, returned to action at Survivor Series PPV
WWE Champion: CM Punk
– 365 day reign, defeated Alberto Del Rio on November 20th (Survivor Series PPV)
World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show
– 22 day reign, defeated Sheamus on October 28th (Hell in a Cell PPV)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston
– 33 day reign, defeated The Miz on October 17th (WWE Main Event)
WWE United States Champion: Antonio Cesaro
– 92 day reign, defeated Santino Marella on August 19th (SummerSlam PPV)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane and Daniel Bryan
– 64 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston and R-Truth on September 16th (Night of Champions PPV)
WWE Divas’ Champion: Eve Torres
– 64 day reign, defeated Layla on September 16th (Night of Champions PPV)
WWE NXT Champion: Seth Rollins
– 82 day reign, defeated Jinder Mahal to become the inaugural Champion
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Jeff Hardy
– 36 day reign, defeated Austin Aries on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez
– 36 day reign, defeated former champions Daniels & Kazarian, and AJ Styles & Kurt Angle in a Triple Threat match on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: RVD
– 36 day reign, defeated Zema Ion to on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
TNA Television Champion: Samoa Joe
– 53 day reign, defeated Mr. Anderson on September 27th Impact to win the vacant title
TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
– 36 day reign, defeated Miss Tessmacher on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: ODB and Eric Young
– 256 day reign, defeated Gail Kim and Madison Rayne on March 8th (Impact)
Acero has The Wrestling 5&1.
Sarnecky has The Piledriver Report.
Byers has The 8-Ball.
And the newest TWNE After Dark features discussion about why it was such a waste to have CM Punk interrupt Lawler’s return, plus the Question of the Week: who will be a bigger success in TNA, Christian York or Joey Ryan?
Also, don’t forget to join the TWNE After Dark Facebook group.
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 8 pm EDT.
From our promotional department, I’ve been informed that if you really do like 411Mania and all it provides, or even just me (and really, who doesn’t like me), don’t forget to bookmark the site in your browser or make 411 your homepage, and tell all your friends about how awesome 411 is.
And don’t forget, you can follow all of the everyday goings on in 411 on Twitter.
That’s our show, Marsico is in tomorrow, I will be back next week. Plus, don’t forget to look for Four Player Co-op in the Games Zone on Wednesday, and the TWNE After Dark podcast at 10 pm EDT this Thursday as well!
Here it is, your Moment of Buddy
Buddy Is Never Truly Asleep
Have a good one, and always be a fan.