wrestling / Columns

Truths & Lies: CM Punk Signs With The UFC

December 9, 2014 | Posted by Justin Watry

So much for moving past CM Punk this week…

…I was more than willing to NOT write about CM Punk. I was putting the finishing touches on the column on Saturday, finishing up my final topic, and then UFC happened. It happened. CM Punk happened! Instead of ignoring it like I probably should to prove a point, I know he is the talk of the town and right now is the hottest name is wrestling (actually MMA). Pretty much have to give my two cents, right?

Before getting to the wrestling topics, if anybody has a column idea for next week, please share it below or send an email/tweet to yours truly. With the 2014 year ending soon and WWE TLC over with, there has to be something big to write about next week. Throw your topic of choice my way, and I will see what I can do. Okay, blubbering finished with, let me dive in!

TRUTH: The Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast interview with Vince McMahon lived up to the hype.

I have not watched an episode of Main Event on the WWE Network in months, probably since WrestleMania XXX season.

I do not watch the RAW pre-show or post-show on the WWE Network, when it actually airs.

Outside of the monthly pay-per-views and rare NXT shows, my viewing of the WWE Network since February has been MAYBE a few hours a week. Maybe, if that!

That being said, I made sure I was tuned in for the Stone Cold Steve Austin podcast last Monday night. I HAD to be there. An interview with Vince McMahon is one thing. A live, on the air, “no holds barred” verbal war with The Texas Rattlesnake? Yeah, screw the three hours of Raw, I was looking forward to the interview all night. Add on the recent CM Punk controversy, and it made for must-see viewing in my mind. If WWE did not grab any extra subscribers, it is a darn shame. They missed out.

All the questions I expected were asked. Stone Cold brought up CM Punk. He brought up the locker room morale rumors. He answered why Cesaro is not where fans want him to be. He obviously discussed the Attitude Era a bunch with Steve Austin. He said Randy “Macho Man” Savage was definitely going into the WWE Hall of Fame. He spoke of his current favorites. He touched on all the writers they employee – the good and bad of that philosophy. Seriously, Vince McMahon spoke on every (realistic) topic I had expected and then some. Very cool feature for the WWE Network that needs to be a monthly fixture with a new guest each time. Not weekly – that would be overkill and lessen its effect bu absolutely monthly. If Stone Cold is up for it, his podcast needs to have a monthly WWE Network exclusive interview…

If you do not believe me or anybody in WWE, then TNA’s very own Bob Ryder said it best:

I agree.

LIE: Brittany had a good run in TNA Impact Wrestling.

Ugh. A part of me hopes this story is completely bogus because it is just too ridiculous, even for TNA.

Why even bring her in? Honestly. What was the point? When I interviewed Brittany earlier this year for 411mania (cheap plug!), I was pretty confident she would be a mainstay in the Knockouts division going forward. Her arrival showed MANY possibilities were waiting. Defeated Gail Kim right off the bat. Had a tag team and/or ready made feud with Madison Rayne already set. Plus, Brittany was NOT a former well known WWE Divas Champion, so she was something TNA could actually claim as ‘theirs.’ It seemed like the sky was the limit.

Well, then the losses started to pile up for some reason, and the wins never came. Her win over Gail Kim was rendered meaningless in a hurry. Oh, and the big feud with Rayne? Yeah, in true TNA fashion – it was settled on television without much fanfare or focus in a gimmick match. Done and done. Back to the drawing board for Brittany…which ended up being a creepy partnership with Sam Shaw. It had potential as a sleazy heel Edge/Lita kind of thing. Shaw needed to get far away from the ridiculous psycho nonsense, so this was a step in the right direction. Brittany was PERFECT for the role.

Silly me for thinking it would lead to something! The two paired up, lost a few matches, were off TV (the whole show is actually), and now Brittany is done with TNA after just one year. Can not say I blame her. So, so, so, so, so disappointing. Just another “What if?” scenario for a TNA signing that starts off on fire and then is forgotten about a few weeks later. Such a shame. I wish her the best going forward.

TRUTH: I do not care about the Slammy Awards winners.

“The supposed smart fans are the easiest to work in wrestling.”

It just boggles my mind how every year, there is this big uproar over the Slammy Awards. Winner, losers, voting, not voting, etc. Debating, whining, crying, arguing, bickering, conspiracy theories…all for a scripted (yes, these are scripted too folks) wrestling awards show. I do not care if Heath Slater wins Superstar of the Year. I do not care if Emma wins Diva of the Year. Like it actually matters. Please tell me off the top of your head who won a few Slammys last year. Or the year before. Can you do it? Of course not. Because it does not matter! Really, who cares? I am typing this on Saturday afternoon, and I could not care less about any of the nominees being listed. Raw will come and go on Monday night, and five minutes later, I will forget entirely who ‘won’ and who ‘lost’ a Slammy. Try it too.

With that being said, I DO always enjoy the awards show format and expect another quality outing from WWE.

LATE SATURDAY BREAKING NEWS: CM Punk signs with UFC, expects to fight in 2015!!!

*sighs*

Fine. Here is my obligatory CM Punk coverage…

LIE: CM Punk fighting in UFC will be a long-term success.

Besides being shocked and stunned by the initial news, a few things jumped out at me right away:

1. No Agenda, Huh? – Perfect timing doing the interviews with Colt Cabana, releasing your new t-shirts, and then signing with UFC all in a row. Obviously, this was in the works for awhile. Clearly. It is why I wrote last week it was laughable that the interviews were supposedly just for ‘fun’ and ‘no agendas’ involved. Please! Colt got attention for his podcast, Punk gets big t-shirt money, and now UFC has the buzz going forward with this news. No knock on the guys – I said it was brilliant timing last week, but there is always an ‘agenda’ with these things. Now we know what it was.

2. Politics! – Dana White has made some pretty ridiculous quotes in the past about NOT signing guys from other promotions because they have not fought anybody worthwhile or have just defeated tomato cans. Um Dana, remind me again who CM Punk has fought. Imagine the MMA fighters out there who UFC has turned down that actually have scratched and clawed for years busting their butts for a contract…but Punk is friends with Dana White, so he gets signed. Riiiight. Heck, even current UFC stars are speaking out against this, and I can not blame them. Pretty transparent and blatant money grab. They have every right to be upset. At least Brock Lesnar was younger, had a wrestling background, and had fought MMA elsewhere before UFC signed him. Oh, but Punk does not play politics! No, not him. He hates part-timers and guys who skip ahead of the hard working crew. Funny how that all changes when it benefits you, huh? Only mean old Vince McMahon and Triple H are the big poopy heads who help their favorites. Everybody, EVERYBODY plays politics folks, including the beloved internet darling CM Punk…

3. Desperation? – UFC has faced a huge amount of injuries during the past year or so. Suspensions too. Their pay-per-view numbers have gone down, interest has decreased because of the 384,475 shows they run nowadays, and the company is desperate for a “name” fighter. The Brock Lesnar rumors fit into this as well. You thought the Kimbo Slice stuff was a publicity stunt? Dana White has always said UFC would never go the ‘freak show’ route. Well, welcome to a pro wrestling styled UFC. I can already picture Colt Cabana walking down the ramp with CM Punk with Cult of Personality playing. Hey at least he can wear those Slim Jim sponsored shorts now, right? CM Punk was available, and desperate times call for desperate measures, and that means bringing in a former WWE Champion who is 36 years old with a beat up body and not one single MMA fight on his resume. Makes sense from the financial side, even if it does reek big time.

4. Health Issues, Huh? – Punk just listed all these health concerns, concussion history, complained about Ryback being unsafe to work with (which I do not believe and is borderline slanderous with his accusations), and now he is getting in the octagon. For real fights! Am I understanding this correctly? Is he going to tell the fighters not to kick him tooooo hard? Will he demand to be in the UFC main event as part of the contract or else the pain may not be worth it? Seriously. You know, I thought I was a little critical on his Art of Wrestling interview last week. However, the more I read, the more I think I was dead on with my thoughts. None of this is adding up. As noted above, something reeks big time with all of this.

5. Cold Hard Facts – Ultimately, here are the facts: CM Punk is 36 years old and will be closer to 37 years old by the time he fights. He had had concussion issues (according to his own words). He has not had ONE single professional MMA fight ever, and now he is signing with UFC. Those are the facts. Excuse me if I am a tad bit skeptical over Dana White even doing this in the first place, much less the slim chance this equals long-term success minus a few big paydays/PPV buy rates and then a quick CM Punk UFC retirement.

Self Promoting Finale

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In the coming weeks, I will be doing another RARE live tweeting session during WWE Raw! Rare, rare, rare. Be there…

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