wrestling / Video Reviews
Views from the Hawke’s Nest: Jake The Snake Roberts – Pick Your Poison
Need a great podcast to listen to??? Well, keep looking. This podcast is pretty fun though.
Disc 1
The Interview
Roberts starts the interview by talking about how his mother got pregnant with him at the age of twelve after she was raped by a man (Grizzly Smith) who was dating Jake’s grandmother. That sets the tone for Jake’s lifestory. You immediately understand the environment in which he grew up in, and why he has never seemingly recovered. As terrible as Jake’s childhood clearly was, it created a human being who was fascinating to learn about and listen to.
There is plenty of unsavory details about Jake Roberts’ life and career, which means there are nearly unlimited opportunities for the WWE to go back and craft a feature on his life into a narrative that suits their needs. They have done it before, and they will do it forever. It is just the nature of trying to do in-house documentaries. Putting Jake Roberts on camera for the majority of this feature though made it harder for them to shape his story in an insulting manner.*
*Amusingly enough, WWE does take a moment to bury Beyond the Mat for being a dishonest portrayal of Jake Roberts. There were a few other moments here and there like that for what it is worth. Those are small potatoes though compared to what a typical WWE documentary is like.
Jake Roberts was dealt a rough hand in life, and he has seemingly only dug deeper and deeper into a hole ever since. (I think I just switched metaphors. Sloppy.) He held nothing back in this interview, and you genuinely got the sense it was somewhat therapeutic for the man to be as open about his life as he could be in such a public manner. This 2005 interview ends on a positive note; everyone talks about hoping for the best for Jake, and he himself is grateful that he still has “tomorrow.” It is sad to watch it now though given that he is still struggling year in and year out with all of his demons.
Other notes on the feature:
– Jake Roberts said he disliked the ECW product, but he got paid very well for his brief appearance on the PPV.
– There was a deleted scene where everyone puts Grizzly over as a performer and for his mind for the business. That felt really odd considering Jake started his interview by explaining Grizzly raped Jake’s mother.
– Roberts explained that his program with Hogan was cancelled due to the crowd giving them a split reaction. His program with Warrior was cancelled because Warrior held up Vince for cash. Roberts then lost out on a 3.5 million dollar deal with WCW when Bill Watts took over. While Jake certainly contributed to his struggles in a number of ways, he lost out on some big-money situations for sure (even if that last number was kayfabe).
– The story about Roberts accidentally inventing the DDT was great. I had never heard that before.
– Apparently Bill Watts rejected the snake gimmick because Mid South was not a “goddamned circus.”
– Roberts said that his religious character in 1996 was not good for the “Jake Roberts” character, but he hopes it inspired someone to turn his or her life around.
– Roberts had a problem with how REAL the promos were that Jerry Lawler cut on him in 1996. The early days of the Reality Era!?!?!?
Extras
WWF The Big Event
August 28, 1986
Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat [Snake Pit Match]
This was a solid match, but there was not enough hatred in their eyes for this grudge match. The No DQ stipulation was only barely taken advantage of which was disappointing, too. Steamboat winning on a fluke fruit roll-up also did not help matters. With all that said, it’s still Jake Roberts vs. Ricky Steamboat so it was very easy on the eyes. Their Boston match a month earlier was leagues better. If you want to see a great match between these two, check that one out. (***)
WWF Wrestlemania
March 29, 1987
Jake Roberts (w/ Alice Cooper) vs. Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart)
This was a below-average match unfortunately. Jake was not as fiery as I have seen him in the babyface role, and the lack of it sucked out any potential juice this match might have had. Honky was his usual self, which is fine enough but requires a great performance from a babyface to lead to anything good. Honky won after Hart interfered to prevent a DDT. After the match, Roberts and Cooper tossed the snake on Hart. (**)
WWF
October 24, 1988
Jake Roberts (w/ Cheryl Roberts) vs. Rick Rude
This was pretty good. Rude has always seemed a bit awkward in the ring, but his larger-than-life personality compensated for it almost always from what I’ve seen. That was the case again here, and Jake’s work certainly was great enough to compensate for Rude’s deficiencies. There were two particular moments in this match that I wanted to highlight. First off, Rude managed to cut off Roberts after countering the short-arm lariat. Roberts then later on managed to pants Rude right before finally connecting on the short-arm lariat. That was just smart work to place extra importance on that move. Finally, the finish happened after Rude got overly distracted by Cheryl. Again, that is just a smart way to set up a heel loss that makes him look foolish rather than untalented. (***1/2)
There were some deleted scenes from the documentary on this disc.
Disc 2
Mid-Atlantic Wrestling
September 9, 1981
Jake Roberts & Ricky Steamboat vs. Jim Nelson & Mike Miller
I assumed this would just be a squash for Roberts and Dragon, but Nelson and Miller actually managed to briefly get control of Dragon late into the match. Roberts and Dragon quickly came back though and won after Roberts hit Nelson with a back suplex. It is cool to see Roberts and Dragon’s team, but this match was not notable beyond that. (1/2*)
Georgia Championship Wrestling
December 3, 1983
Jake Roberts(c) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. Ronnie Garvin [World Television Championship]
This match did a very effective job of getting Garvin over as a threat to Roberts and to the title. The action was missing the rhythm and/or intensity needed for me to really put it over though. It went to a time limit draw, but Garvin was clearly in control as the clock ran out. This match was more successful than good. (**1/2)
WWF
March 16, 1986
Jake Roberts vs. Lanny Poffo
Roberts had only been in the WWF for a couple of weeks at this point. The only other notable aspect of this match was that Poffo went for a springboard dive to the floor but completely botched it. Roberts finished Poffo with the DDT shortly after that. Jake finally revealed the boa after the match and put it on Poffo. (1/2*)
WWF Superstars
April 27, 1991
Jake Roberts vs. Earthquake
This was all just a setup so that Earthquake could MURDER Damian in a very fucked-up angle to be honest. If Earthquake never became a face again in the WWF, I’m fine with it. Jake’s performance here was obviously fantastic.
We next saw footage of Jake Roberts laying down a challenge to Randy Savage on Superstars after quickly dispatching of a jobber. He eventually baited Savage enough to convince Savage to leave the commentary table and to enter the ring. Jake caught him with a lariat. Jake tied him up in the ropes and had the cobra bite Randy’s arm. The snake then infamously refused to stop biting the arm. In the words of Ted DiBiase, “There is not enough money to get me to agree to that.” After Jake got the snake off, Jake continued the attack for a good bit. There was a money shot of a kid crying in the stands for all of this.
WCW Halloween Havoc
October 25, 1992
Jake Roberts vs. Sting [Coal Miner’s Glove on a Pole]
This had no heat, but it was neat to watch Jake and Sting go at it. They did not do all that much mind you besides some decent arm work that had a payoff. The finish was a tad convoluted, as Cactus Jack ran down to give Jake a glove to handle the snake just as Sting got the Coal Miner’s Glove. Sting punched Jake in the kidney, and the snake then bit Jake. Sting won after that. An okay viewing experience. I can see why this match is not held in high regard though. (**)
Smoky Mountain Wrestling
May 7, 1994
Jake Roberts vs. Dirty White Boy
There was a cool story here with DWB having an injured eye (or eyes), and Roberts sporadically going after it (or them). Roberts eventually had to use a camera flash to weaken DWB enough to hit the DDT. All great in theory…and just terribly boring and heatless in execution. I do not like boring wrestling. Points for trying, I suppose. (*)
WWF King of the Ring
June 23, 1996
Jake Roberts vs. Steve Austin
This was the finals of the 1996 King of the Ring tournament. Roberts was so awesome here, and he made Austin look like a complete killer. The bit with Monsoon coming out and that leading to the only real comeback from Roberts in the match was beautiful. Austin eventually won clean with a weak stunner. This was a case of making the most of your time. Austin won clean and looked great; Roberts’ failure made for a great tragedy to go along with that. GOOD stuff. (***)
WWF Summerslam
August 18, 1996
Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler
Most of this match was Lawler trolling Roberts or running away. Jake caught up to him and beat him up a little bit. Lawler eventually won after hitting Jake in the neck with a bottle of whiskey. Mark Henry saved Jake after the match from a Lawler beatdown. (1/2*)
We saw Jake’s run-in on ECW Hardcore Heaven 1997 when he interfered in the Jerry Lawler/Tommy Dreamer match. He gave Dreamer a DDT and Lawler a short-arm lariat. This always struck me as being a quite odd use of Roberts. The crowd popped though.
November 2 Remember
November 1, 1998
Jake Roberts & Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Victory & Justin Credible (w/ Jason)
This wasn’t actually a match. It was just an excuse to put on one of those clusterfuck segments where a bunch of people do run-ins for plunder spots. After the non-competitors cleared the ring, Roberts and Dreamer won the farce of a match after Jake hit Credible with a DDT on a ladder. A classic ECW DUD. I hated watching this. (DUD)
There were a bunch of promos and segments featuring Jake on this disc as well. A full rundown of them can be found here. Downright criminal to not get any of his promos from the Randy Savage feud. An underrated one was definitely Jake’s promo on Undertaker on an episode of Superstars before their Wrestlemania match.
Watch Jake Roberts for free!
Jake Roberts, Hulk Hogan, & Demolition vs. Ted DiBiase, Zeus, & Powers of Pain
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