Views from the Hawke’s Nest: Starrcade – The Essential Collection – Disc 3

 

Match #9
Atlanta, Georgia
December 13, 1989

The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal) (w/ Paul Ellerling) vs. The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)

This was a part of the Iron Man Tournament, and it was a rather strange way to book the first match between these two teams.

Cornette tries to explain why the crowd is quiet for this one. The Road Warriors had more success early on. They pretty much dominated the whole match. They eventually hit a variation of the Doomsday Device. Animal pinned him with his own shoulders down: 1…2…3. Steiners won? Scott got his shoulder up before the three, but Animal’s shoulders were accidentally down.

To say this was a massive disappointing really does not do it justice. Did anything of value even happen? I don’t think a found a single aspect of the actual match to be entertaining. As far as I know, they would only face off one more time (on a somewhat early Nitro).

Match Rating: 1/2*

 

Match #8
Washington, DC
December 17, 2000

3 Count (Shane Helms & Shannon Moore) vs. Jamie Knoble & Evan Karagias vs. Jung Dragons (Kaz Hayashi & Jimmy Yang) [Triple Threat Tag Team Ladder Match]

It’s officially a tag team match, but the person who grabs the contract gets a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship. WCW always had trouble at the details.

The match gets off to an ominous start with Moore dropping Hayashi on his head before any of the dangerous stunts even get started. The wrestlers were obeying the unclear rules of a triple threat tag match for reasons that are not clear. Again, WCW and details. The ladders got introduced soon enough though. The dives started soon there after. The spots with the ladders started right after that. Some of them were creative. It felt like a TNA X-Division match more than a WWE tag team ladder match. That’s not an insult exactly, because it’s important to feel unique. I do happen to enjoy the WWE version of these matches more though. The match then started to feel like a Money in the Bank match from the later years. This is a very detailed recap. On a set of ladders, Helms and Moore were the only two left. They decided to grab the contract together.

This was a very fun trainwreck, but if suffers in comparison to the absolutely epic versions of this match that Edge, Christian, The Hardys, and The Dudleys were putting on in this time period.

Match Rating: ***1/2

 

Match #7
Atlanta, Georgia
December 13, 1989

Ric Flair vs. Sting
This was a part of the Iron Man Tournament. If they go to a draw, Lex Luger will win the tournament. I can understand why they thought this tournament was a good idea, but this show should have been headlined by the Flair/Funk “I Quit” match that happened on a Clash a month or two before.

They went back and forth a while. Flair eventually got control and then worked Sting over. Sting started to come back after a lariat out of nowhere. You can really tell these guys aren’t putting everything into this one. I can’t exactly articulate why Sting’s no-sell spots bother me more than Hogan’s Hulking Up. It might be a context issue. Sting will lure me in with good work in a match with a great opponent and then he’ll just suddenly act like he’s not been damaged at all. Hogan’s matches always had such a cartoonish quality that his no-sell spots feel more organic. Flair avoided the Scorpion Deathlock. Sting got to the ropes when Flair applied the Figure Four. Flair was in full control with two minutes to go. He went after the now-injured leg. Thirty seconds left. Neither guy has been showing any urgency at all. Flair took his time going for the Figure Four, and that allowed Sting to catch him with a small package: 1…2…3!

Flair and The Andersons congratulate Sting after the match.

This felt like a middle chapter in a larger story (which it was). That’s just not the feeling you want for the main event of your biggest show of the year.

Match Rating: ***1/4

 

Match #6
Greensboro, North Carolina
November 24, 1983

Roddy Piper vs. Greg Valentine [Dog Collar]

This is actually my first time watching this one.

They were tentative at the start. They proceeded to choke each other with the chain. Valentine got busted open first. Valentine went after Piper’s injured left ear. Piper was now busted open, and Valentine was in complete control as he targeted the ear. Piper eventually just started to fire back after pulling Valentine down by the chain. He gave Valentine some protected chain shots. Piper was in complete control. Valentine caught him with a clothesline and then fought back. Piper managed to hit a vertical suplex. Valentine came back, but Piper used the chain to pull him off the top rope. He whipped Valentine in the face repeatedly and then pinned him: 1…2…3

Valentine attacked Piper after the match.

I loved the violence of this one, and Valentine going after the injured ear really elevated it big time. They also did a good job of producing an enjoyable match that the babyface won clean but left plenty of room for future matches down the line (were there any?). In other words, this was very good stuff all around. It might even be my favorite Piper match of all time.

Match Rating: ***3/4

 

Match #5
Atlanta, Georgia
November 27, 1986
The Road Warriors (Hawk & Animal) (w/ Paul Ellering) vs. The Midnight Express (Dennis Condrey & Bobby Eaton) (w/ Jim Cornette & Bubba Rogers) [Scaffold Match]

The Midnight Express were hesitant to climb. They eventually did of course, and the match officially got underway. The key to a watchable scaffold match is for it to be very, very short. The Midnights threw power in their faces. This went on too long. They did some teases with people hanging from different parts of the setup. People started climbing across the bottom of the cage like you would on monkey bars, because that’s the only way to fall from a reasonable distance. Dennis and Bobby were knocked to the floor to give the match to the Road Warriors.

Cornette drew the ire of Ellering. Cornette tried to hide by running up the scaffold. Cornette fell and infamously tore several ligaments in his knee.

This was no good at all. I preferred the 1987 Starrcade Scaffold Match much more. The Cornette bump is nice to finally see in the context of the full match at least..

Match Rating: *

 

Match #4
Washington, DC
December 28, 1997

Hollywood Hogan(c) vs. Sting [WCW Heavyweight Championship]

Eighteen months of build went into this match. Sting basically did not wrestle at all in 1997 (the internet tells me he worked a dark match a week before this match for some reason). There’s no way they could screw it up. Right? Right????

Hogan beats up Sting. A lot. Sting got a limited amount of offense in. He applied a side headlock to really get the crowd into it. Hogan finally cut off Sting and got the heat. Hogan hit the Legdrop of Doom: 1…2…3.

Yep, Hogan won clean as a whistle. Bret Hart prevented the bell from being rung though. He said he wouldn’t let someone get screwed again. The idea was that Bret was accusing the referee of fast-counting, but the count looked perfectly normal. If anything, it was a slow count. Bret tossed Hogan back into the ring. Sting made a big comeback. Buff Bagwell and Scott Norton failed at interfering. Scorpion Deathlock! Hogan tapped out.

This was really one of the stupidest things to ever happen in a major wrestling company. Sting should have demolished Hogan, the nWo interferes, WCW loyalists run them off, and Sting then wins. Instead, they fuck up an unnecessary slow count angle and make Sting look like the biggest goof in the world (and Hart looks like an idiot on top of it all). One of the worst matches in pro wrestling history.
Match Rating: DUD

 

Match #3
Greensboro, North Carolina
November 24, 1983

Harley Race© vs. Ric Flair [Cage match for the NWA Heavyweight Championship]
Gene Kiniski is the referee.

Things started very slowly. Race got the first advantage. Kiniski pulled him off at one point, which seems like a weird thing for a referee to do in a cage match. Race hit a piledriver and slowly hit an elbow drop. Race was in complete control. Race sent Flair into the cage. Race hit an inverted Styles Clash. Flair bladed. Flair finally came back, and Race quickly got busted open. Flair got a nearfall with a piledriver. Race came back. Flair showed a lot of fire and fought right back. Flair locked in the figure four. Race made the ropes. Race got a nearfall with his diving headbutt. Race was beating Flair up too much. Kiniski pulled Race off by the hair. Ref bump. Flair hit a diving crossbody: 1…2…3?

I’m glad I finally watched this match, but there were a ton of bizarre things about the structure of this match. The most important aspect of the match that I really detested was that Kiniski kept pulling Race off of Flair. If this were a regular singles match, it would be technically justifiable for Kiniski to keep pulling Race off Flair (although from a psychological standpoint, it would still be fucking stupid). However, this is a flippin CAGE match. Why is the referee interfering to prevent someone from kicking too much ass? On top of that, Gordon Solie kept putting Kiniski over for being an impartial referee. This was tomfoolerly that I did not appreciate.

As for the action itself, I enjoyed large portions of the match. I didn’t mind the pace at all. It was methodical, but everything seemingly had a purpose. The finish left a little to be desired though. I don’t understand why they felt the need to do a ref bump in a cage match to begin with, and it just made the finish look real messy.

If you want to argue that “I don’t understand old school wrestling,” I welcome the challenge. However, it needs to be acknowledged that the crowd was not into the gaga. They were not red hot. They were not this amazing crowd that the wrestlers could do no wrong in front of.

(Note: After a second viewing, I found this match to be even more boring and more frustrating.)
Match Rating: **1/4

 

Match #2
Greensboro, North Carolina
November 28, 1985

Tully Blanchard(c) vs. Magnum TA [I Quit Match for the NWA United States Championship]

The match also took place inside a steel cage. Obviously, they just started brawling right away. Tully got the first advantage. Magnum came back after a hot shot. Tully sent him into the cage to get the advantage. Tully’s shoulder got busted open. Magnum’s forehead got busted open earlier than that. Tully blasted him in the face with the microphone after Magnum refused to quit. Tully was in complete control by this point. Magnum came back and shoved the microphone in Tully’s mouth. Tully just screamed and refused to quit. He punched him with the microphone a few more times, but Tully still refused to quit. They brawled some more. Tully caught him with a brutal-looking Manhattan Drop. Tully then blasted him on the head with the microphone. Magum then got a turn to dramatically scream and refuse to quit. Tully tossed the ref aside and then broke a wooden chair that was tossed into the ring. He fashioned himself a stake and went after Magnum’s eye. Magnum powered out Magnum escaped and drove a piece of the chair into Tully’s face! Instead of literally saying, “I Quit!,” Tully just hollers “Yes!” repeatedly. That was enough for the referee to give Magnum the match and the title.

For a while there, I was worried this was going to be another match that was just not going to seem quite as good with modern eyes. However, the final few minutes clearly pushed this over the top into “great” territory. The final act of the match with the broken wooden chair is one of the best things I’ve ever seen in a wrestling match. They did a nice job of keeping me into it up until that, but the broken chair is what I will remember from this match forever.

Match Rating: ****1/4

 

Match #1
Charlotte, North Carolina
December 27, 1993

Big Van Vader(c) (w/ Harley Race) vs. Ric Flair [WCW Heavyweight Championship]

Flair’s career was on the line. Vader dominated him from the beginning. Flair looked to have an opening on the floor, by Race interfered to give Vader the advantage right back. Vader dominated Flair some more. Flair got another opening, but Vader cut him off again and hit a superplex. Flair’s mouth was bloody by this point. Flair fought back and a few more times and finally got a significant advantage after going for the left leg. He even used a chair on it. Flair had Vader knocked down on the ground. They got back into the ring, and Flair was in control. He went after the left leg some more. Vader kicked him him away on the first attempt at the figure four. Flair avoided the Vader Bomb and then applied the figure four. Race hopped up onto the apron. Vader got to the ropes. He went for the Vader-sault, but Flair avoided it. Race went to hit Flair with the headbutt, but he accidentally hit Vader! Flair took Vader down by the injured leg and pinned him: 1…2…3!

After a slow start, this turned into a really compelling match with some great drama down the stretch. The match even overcomes Flair being in his weakest in-ring role. I like Flair as a babyface, but I run hot and cold on him as a major underdog babyface. He’s just not as dynamic of a performer when he’s forced to sell and sell to get our sympathy. He’s always seemed way more at home begging off than begging for support. His babyface fire down the stretch was great though, and it turned into a hell of a match. Vader was on point and looked dominant, even in defeat.

Match Rating: ***3/4

 

Watch some WCW for free!

Hulk Hogan & Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger & Sting

Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Goldberg & Ric Flair vs. Hollywood Hogan & Kevin Nash

Bret Hart vs. Lex Luger

Blitzkrieg vs. Juventud Guerrera 

Blitzkrieg & Kaz Hayashi vs. Silver King & Psicosis

Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Eddy Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Eddy Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey Mysterio vs. Jushin Liger

Scott Steiner vs. Mike Awesome

Booker T vs. Curt Hennig

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

While Starrcade was not always full of great matches, you could easily come up with a better set of matches than this one here. I guess you could argue that this set wasn't trying to put together the very best of Starrcade, that doesn't make this set any more enjoyable to watch. There are some unquestionably great matches here. There is just a ton of shit weighing those down. The fact that the feature is weak even by WWE standards does this set no favors. The good outweighs the bad for this set but not by much. Mildest of recommendations.