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Wrestling Sudoku: The Ultimate WrestleMania Card

March 17, 2015 | Posted by Len Archibald

So with a mere couple of weeks to go before WrestleMania hits us in the face, I decided to challenge myself with a little game. I have put together what I would consider the ULTIMATE WrestleMania Card. Consider it a form of WrestleMania Sudoku where a complete WrestleMania card is created from past WM events with no overlaps of any kind. I used the following rules:

10 Matches of the highest caliber that includes at least one WrestleMania Main Eventer (Women’s match as the ONLY exception.)
ONLY ONE match from any WrestleMania from 1 – 30 can be chosen.
At least one match from each WM Decade.
No performers can show up on the card twice.
Every title must be decided (WWE WHC; WWE IC Title; WWE US Title; WWE Women’s; WWE Tag Title.)

Suffice to say, this was HARD. There are matches and performers that you will glaringly notice missing; No Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero or Randy Orton, for example. What I consider the best WM Match – (and arguably most important match in WWE’s entire history – the WrestleMania 13 Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin Submission match is not on this list. The match that many consider the best in WM history – The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels from WrestleMania 25 is nowhere to be found. The two WrestleMania matches that I watched live – WrestleMania VI’s Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock from WrestleMania X-8 did not make this list. The list is VERY 2000’s heavy, but for the results I came up with, it made sense. There are several combinations that I could have gone with from opening match to Main Event, but this is the one I feel most comfortable with. Play along, list YOUR WrestleMania Sudoku in the comments section and show me up!

OPENING MATCH
BRET HART VS. OWEN HART
WRESTLEMANIA X (1994)

So let’s start with what is widely considered the best opening match in WrestleMania History. As Bret’s younger brother, Owen was constantly in the shadow of his more popular sibling and it began to eat away at him slowly. The first cracks erupted at the 1993 Survivor Series, where Owen was the only Hart brother eliminated from his Elimination Team with the rest of the Hart Brothers against Shawn Michaels and his Heartbreaker’s Team. Things seemingly cleared up and the Harts showed unity as they went up against The Quebecers for the WWF Tag Team titles. Bret sustained a leg injury that did not allow The Hitman to be able to complete the match in good health which cost the duo the titles. Owen, who raged for a good portion of the match to be simply tagged in when he was fresh had enough, snapped and “kicked Bret’s leg from under his leg.” For weeks, Bret vowed not to compete against his brother, but the co-WrestleMania Main Event between Lex Luger, Yokozuna and Hart put the master of the sharpshooter in a conundrum. A coin toss decided that Luger would get the first crack at Yokozuna, with the winner facing Hart in the final match for the WWF Title. Since either of them would likely compete twice, Hart had to compete twice as well to even the playing field. The match between Hart and Hart was signed and was set to open WrestleMania X.

The Bret/Owen affair is a perfectly executed match, with a hot MSG crowd – the fans first believe Bret is going to be announced and whip themselves into a frenzy before discovering it is Owen and is booed out the building. The match was a back and forth affair with Owen seemingly always a step ahead of his older brother. The story of the match was that Bret’s “Hart” was not completely in the match despite the obvious fact that at times Bret was making a real effort to win the match quickly and move on to concentrate on his title match. Owen would mock his brother and even steal use of the Sharpshooter before working Bret’s leg mercilessly that was aggravated at the Royal Rumble. The pace of the match eventually quickened to a crescendo with several great near falls. Bret attempted a Victory Roll that Owen sat into for the pin that shocked the world and catapulted the younger Hart into the WWF main event scene for the rest of the year. As mentioned before, this is considered the definitive opening bout for WrestleMania as the two performers put their best foot forward to tell a truly athletic story worthy of Shakespeare.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH
(C) THE BIG SHOW VS. JOHN CENA
WRESTLEMANIA XX (2004)

In 2002, a young prospect named John Cena arrived on SmackDown and answered an open challenge from Kurt Angle. The rookie took the Olympic Gold Medalist to the limit before finally tapping out to the Ankle Lock. Cena’s career was made on that night, but a few rough patches followed where he became lost in the shuffle of the happy-go-lucky babyface in a land of “Ruthless Aggression”. The 2002 Halloween Edition of SmackDown essentially saved Cena’s career as he arrived dressed up like Vanilla Ice and dropped a freestyle for the locker room Halloween Party and instantly became a sensation. The Doctor of Thuganomics was born and he quickly rose up the ranks to become one of WWE’s hottest young superstars who was beginning to gain a massive cult following that rivaled several of WWE’s main eventers. The Big Show, meanwhile had ended a short and disappointing run as WWE World Champion after being turned on by Paul Heyman who aligned himself with Kurt Angle. Show used this anger to ignite a new rage and eventually defeated Eddie Guerrero to win the United States title and held a death grip on his new hardware. The man who stood in his way of having a truly dominant run was John Cena, a man whom Show eliminated in the 2004 Royal Rumble.

WrestleMania XX, dubbed as “where it all begins…again” was the start of the new blood rising from outside the grip and memories of the Attitude Era. Having the show begin with Cena being hailed as a hero in Madison Square Garden in hindsight clearly indicated that the WWE had major plans for the eventual leader of the Cenation. The match between Cena and Show was a mainly lopsided affair, with The Big Show’s strength usually getting the better of Cena. Cena would show an impressive feat of strength as he was able to lift Big Show up on his shoulders and deliver a thunderous F-U for a hot nearfall. Cena, the new face of post-Attitude, was a still a face who struck a chord with fans because of his heelish, cocky nature. Behind the back of a distracted referee, Cena would nail Show in the temple with his steel WORD LIFE knuckles, hoist Show for another F-U and win his first singles title to a thunderous ovation. Even though the match could be considered a “cool down” because of its plodding nature, it is still one that has fans heavily invested in and would continue the momentum of the supershow.

GRUDGE MATCH
DANIEL BRYAN VS. TRIPLE H
WRESTLEMANIA XXX (2014)

Another great opening match as we move ahead another 10 years, to last years’ WrestleMania in New Orleans. From the moment he was booted in the face and shockingly lost the World Heavyweight Title to Sheamus in 18 seconds at WrestleMania XXVIII, Daniel Bryan rode a wave of fan support not seen in the WWE in years. His status as an underdog hero who rose up the ranks of professional wrestling despite his size and considered lack of charisma was admirable and relatable to fans. By the time WrestleMania 29 arrived a year later, a case could have been made that Bryan was one of – if not the most over act in WWE – despite being placed in a mid-card match for the Tag Team titles. Fate would change at SummerSlam when WWE Champion John Cena would choose Bryan to be his opponent in the Main Event. Triple H would be named special guest referee of the title match by McMahon as a challenge to see where Triple H’s allegiances laid. The rivalry heated up and at SummerSlam, the two fought an even battle before Bryan would eventually get the upper hand and defeat Cena cleanly for the title. The celebration was short-lived, though – as Randy Orton, who earlier that year won Money in the Bank, sauntered down the ramp and distracted Bryan just enough for Triple H to turn and deliver a Pedigree, allowing Orton to cash in and win the WWE World Heavyweight Title. Over time, Triple H and Stephanie would berate Daniel Bryan, calling him a B+ player and would do everything in their power to screw over the G.O.A.T., even going as far as not to allow him to enter the 2014 Royal Rumble. Bryan had enough and with the erupting wave of support called the “YES! Movement”, would “Occupy RAW” and fill the ring with fans, demanding a match with Triple H, who accepted. Bryan would later convince Triple H to add a stipulation that the winner would go on to the main event of WrestleMania XXX and face Champion Randy Orton and Batista.

Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan was a treat for DB fans, fans of well-told in-ring performances based on athleticism, fans of Stephanie McMahon’s HAWTness, fans of the underdog and fans of those who feel Triple H is the end-all of everything wrong with modern-day WWE. Triple H was a man on a mission in this match, proving that he is wholly capable of going toe-to-toe, hold-for-hold and move-for-move with WWE’s current best in-ring performer. Everything about this match was perfect, from H’s heelish dominance countering Bryan’s babyface perseverance to the Superdome crowd reaction hanging on every move and Stephanie turning her bitch-meter to 1000 outside the ring. I will never live it down – Triple H busted out the damn TIGER SUPLEX for spaghetti monster’s sake. The more I’ve thought about it and the more I have discussed it with my other wrasslin’ fans, this was a Triple H performing at a level I had not seen since 2000. Yes, he was that damn good – and he had to be in there against Daniel Bryan who was at a point nearly a year ago who may have been the only man to do the unfathomable and force fans to turn on Ricky Steamboat (heresy, I know – especially since I will go to my grave gleefully admitting Steamboat is the single best babyface ever.) This match was everything professional wrestling as art and spectacle should strive to be.

WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
(C) TRISH STRATUS VS. MICKEY JAMES
WRESTLEMANIA 22 (2006)

The best WWE Women’s Title Match presented at WrestleMania and it isn’t even close. Mickey James made her WWE debut in October of 2005 as he came to the aid of then Women’s Champion Trish Stratus from an attack from Victoria and revealed herself to be Stratus’ biggest and most devoted fan. The two would join forces in tag team bouts frequently where over time James’ obsession grew more extreme and physical, making Stratus uncomfortable and paranoid in the process. James would become the number one contender for the Women’s Title in December of 2005 by defeating Victoria in a match and would face Trish Stratus at New Year’s Revolution in a losing effort. James’ loss due to Stratus’ physicality aroused the diva whom Jim Ross dubbed as “crazier than a pet coon” that led to James continually making physical and sexual advances at Stratus. The final straw came when James initiated an intimate kiss with the Women’s Champion and confessed her love to Stratus. Stratus finally became irate enough to let James know they needed time apart. The two teamed together at Saturday Night’s Main Event to defeat the team of Victoria and Candice Michelle. After the match James honored Stratus’ wish for have time apart, but later attempted to kiss her, and attacked Stratus after she refused.

This is not only the best worked Women’s match in WrestleMania history, but the best female-based storyline going into the event by a country mile and it showed as the Chicago fans at WrestleMania 22 were heavily invested from the start…For Mickie James, the heel. The notion of a fan who made it to the big leagues and teamed up with her idol only to have their fandom thrown back in her face to reveal an ugly fall of their hero was all too relatable to fans in 2006 and they revolted by supporting the underdog James over the dynasty that had grown to be Trish Stratus’ legend as arguably the greatest WWE Women’s Champion in history. A back and forth battle ensued, with Trish attempting to keep her cool in a hostile environment as well as trying to play off Mickie James’ mind games. It was too overwhelming, though, as the most famous (infamous) crotch grab in WM history, followed by a Chick Kick later and Mickie James was crowned the new WWE Women’s Champion to a thunderous ovation. The momentum continues as we head into…

GRUDGE MATCH
CM PUNK VS. THE UNDERTAKER
WRESTLEMANIA 29 (2013)

The Undertaker made his return to WWE on the March 4 episode of “Old School RAW”, and made an open challenge to face him and end his undefeated WrestleMania streak. CM Punk, Randy Orton, Big Show, and Sheamus all made their declarations known for various reasons and prompted Vickie Guerrero to set a Fatal Four-Way match among the four later that night, which Punk won by pinning Orton. Things seemed to be primed for a humdrum affair until the unexpected happened and Paul Bearer passed away of respiratory problems. During Bearer’s tribute segment, CM Punk classless interrupted, boasting that he would break the Undertaker’s streak. A mini-feud with Kane ensued out of Punk’s reckless behavior, which culminated in the Straight Edge Savior stealing the urn. On RAW, The Undertaker returned to warn Punk he had one chance to return the property that belonged to him and was interrupted by Punk, further talking himself up about being the one to “snap the streak” while nonchalantly tossing the urn in the air. Finally, disguised as a druid, Punk further assaulted Undertaker on Raw and obliterated the Deadman with the urn. Punk then boldly opened the urn and emptied its contents over a fallen Undertaker, and igniting their feud to its apex. It was rare to see The Undertaker pretty much bested the majority of a feud, but Punk had made a strong enough case through sheer will that he could break The Streak.

OHHHHHH, YEEEESSSS, this match. The ONLY match at WreslteMania 29 that pretty much meant anything at all as CM Punk and The Undertaker busted their asses and gave a big non-John Cena endorsed F-U to the rest of the world and performed at a level that proved they should have been the main event and not Twice in a Lifetime. The match layout borrowed elements of Edge’s encounter with the Deadman at WrestleMania XXIV and turned the volume up to 11 as everything Punk did to take The Demon of Death Valley down came with a sense of urgency, unpredictability and anarchist glee. From the opening notes of Living Color playing Punk (and Paul Heyman) down with “Cult of Personality”, Punk’s wide-eyed primal scream at the initial gong of the Undertaker’s entrance and his nonchalant handling of the fabled urn placed the Straight Edge superstar on the precipice of the greatest of all WWE heels. Punk wrestled on this night like a man absolutely possessed by some wrestling demon, and The Undertaker kept up note for note, hold for hold and move for move, allowing fans to bite on almost every near fall and vocally invest in the character work of all included. A Tombstone later would seal Punk’s fate as the last to fall to the Undertaker’s streak and the man who pushed Taker father to the limit than any competitor before him until Brock Lesnar would break the streak a year later. This was the height of CM Punk as a performer – a white-hot, bald, wide-eyed ball of pure evil and pure anarchy and the Undertaker’s last great display of athleticism.

Would the audience be exhausted yet…?

TRIANGLE LADDER MATCH FOR THE WWE TAG TEAM TITLES
(C) THE DUDLEY BOYZ VS. THE HARDY BOYZ VS. EDGE & CHRISTIAN
WRESTLEMANIA 2000 (2000)

At No Mercy 1999, Edge, Christian and Matt & Jeff Hardy would engage themselves in the Terri Invitational that culminated in a ladder match for her services and $100,000. The four men nearly killed themselves for the fans entertainment and four new stars were born. The Dudley Boyz would eventually enter the WWF Tag Team scene and immediately caused pure havoc. The three teams would meet in various singles matches, interrupting each other and damaging their opponents with venom in the process. The Dudley’s brought tables and The Hardy’s would bring in chairs. At the Royal Rumble, the Hardy’s defeated the Dudley’s in a tag team tables match. The following night after the Royal Rumble, the Dudley’s showed respect towards the Hardy’s in which they would help them defeat the New Age Outlaws for the World Tag Team Championship. In return, the Hardy’s would have to grant the Dudley’s a title shot at the Tag Team Championship. During the tag title match, the Dudley’s stopped the three count, after the Hardy’s had the match in their favor and allowing the Outlaw’s to retain the titles. After the match, the Dudley’s then went onto perform the 3-D on them. The Dudley’s would then win the Tag Titles. Edge & Christian then set their sights on both teams, initiating the Triangle Ladder Match to add a new element (tables) to the insanity.

At the time, this was the most insane match I had ever seen since Mick Foley got thrown off the Cell in 1998. These were three teams who went out there with no regard for their bodies and just KILLED each other repeatedly with every possible high-impact offensive maneuver they could think of. Think of this as “TLC 0.5” and the official arrival of the great tag scene of the early 2000s. The Arrowhead Pond crowd gasped, oohed and ahhed with every painful spot, every offensive hit and every table bump. The Jeff Hardy dive onto Bubba Ray from the top of a ladder onto a table below is still one of the most insane things I have seen in mainstream wrestling – made even more awe-inspiring from the excellent camerawork on the match. At the end of the day, Edge & Christian rose victorious and began to carve a legacy for themselves as the premiere tag team of the 2000s. Breathtaking and insane in every measurable way.

GRUDGE MATCH
SHAWN MICHAELS VS. KURT ANGLE
WRESTLEMANIA 21 (2005)

A dream match that we didn’t know was one until they encountered. Shawn Michaels was away for four years due to a back injury. At the time, Kurt Angle rose to become known as the peformer fans would rally around when they wanted great and consistent performances in the ring and on the microphone. Angle’s amateur credentials, along with his Olympic Gold Medal at the 1996 games brought instant credibility to nearly anything he did in the ring. When Michaels eliminated Angle from the 2005 Royal Rumble that culminated in a relentless attack on Shawn Michaels, the lightbulb of all fans went off. We were at the height of the Brand Split Era; Angle was SmackDown exclusive, while HBK was a RAW only superstar. Barely anyone mentioned the two possibly meeting, but when the possibility happened, expectations about the two putting on the greatest match…EVER became heated talk. Michaels would inform SmackDown GM Teddy Long that he challenged Angle to a match at WrestleMania. On the February 28 edition of Raw, after Michaels defeated Edge in a Street Fight, Angle attacked Michaels and accepted his challenge. The two would exchange blows at each other, before Angle finally letting everyone know his frustrations: Kurt Angle won a gold medal in 1996, but all anyone talked about was HBK coming down from the rafters and the “boyhood dream coming true”. Angle expressed that anything Michaels could do, Angle could do better and faster. Angle won a ladder match, challenged and tapped out Marty Jannetty, and persuaded Michaels’ former manager, Sensational Sherri to do a spoof of Michaels’ theme song, “Sexy Boy”, calling his version “Sexy Kurt”. Michaels, however, interrupted and played a video highlighting all his accomplishments. When Sherri got emotional from watching the video, Angle put her in the Ankle Lock. This was the final straw and the match was on.

I honestly can’t even begin to put into words the AWESOME awesomeness of this match. The only thing missing was that this needed to take place in a stadium instead of an arena. A match like this at Soldier Field in Chicago, SkyDome in Toronto or the Astrodome in Houston would have blown the roof off. Taking a page of the WrestleMania XII Iron Man match, HBK started the match aggressively, out-chain wrestling Angle to frustrate him. The difference between Hart’s 1996 foe, Bret Hart and Kurt Angle, though – is one word: Intensity. A slap from Michaels changed Angle’s entire demeanor and got himself LEVELED with a clothesline that would make Okada wince. At that point, Kurt Angle went on the attack before Shawn Michaels would make several hope comebacks. Angle Slams and Sweet Chin Music shots rang, baiting the crowd into excellent near falls. Finally – after keeping HBK in the Ankle Lock for what felt like an ETERNITY, Kurt Angle got Shawn Michaels to tap out. Let me say that again: KURT ANGLE GOT SHAWN F’N MICHAELS TO TAP OUT. This was the defining moment of Kurt Angle’s career that placed him on Mount Perpetually Over as at that point, Kurt Angle was completely unbeatable. The Wrestling Machine was born.

SPECIAL TAG TEAM ATTRACTION
HULK HOGAN & MR. T (WITH JIMMY SNUKA) VS. ROWDY RODDY PIPER & MR. WONDERFUL PAUL ORNDORFF (WITH COWBOY BOB ORTON)
WRESTLEMANIA (1985)

In 1985, Vince McMahon made the ultimate gamble in his career as he organized a professional wrestling supershow at Madison Square Garden called WrestleMania. If the event was a success, McMahon could be made for life; if it failed, the entire McMahon legacy, the empire his father built, the entire professional wrestling landscape would change dramatically and the World Wrestling Federation could wind up out of business. In the lead up to the first WrestleMania, McMahon called upon the services of World Champion Hulk Hogan, antagonist supreme Rowdy Roddy Piper, consistent hands like Superfly Jimmy Snuka, Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff and Cowboy Bob Orton…And a known celebrity only known as Mr. T. After taking out Snuka with a coconut, Piper recruited Cowboy Bob Orton to be his bodyguard. On another episode of Piper’s Pit, Piper spoke out against the burgeoning Rock ‘n’ Wrestling connection, which led to a confrontation with Hulk Hogan. In February 1985, the two men faced each other at The War to Settle the Score, where Hogan won by disqualification after interference by Paul Orndorff and Mr. T. Their on-going feud led to their match at WrestleMania.

This is nowhere even close to the best WrestleMania match ever, but it is one of the most important, with two of the early WM cornerstones with Hogan and Piper involved. The match is not a technical marvel with Mr. T’s involvement, and it didn’t need to be because the heat from the MSG audience, the involvement of all celebrities, including Muhammad Ali as the special enforcer and Pat Patterson as the referee, Liberace as the time keeper and Yankees Manager Billy Martin as the special ring announcer overall made this match a special event in itself. Gorilla Monsoon would call it, “pandemonium” – and that’s what it was until Orton clocked Orndorff in the back of his head with Orton’s patented arm cast that spelled doom for the heel team. Again, not a technical masterpiece, but a historical one.

WWE INTERNCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH
(C) MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE VS. RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT
WRESTLEMANIA III (1987)

…But this is a technical masterpiece. For the longest time, THIS was considered the benchmark for all WrestleMania matches. Perhaps the most influential mainstream match in history in regards to how many performers it inspired, the feud began during a title match between the Savage and Steamboat when The Macho Man attacked Steamboat as he greeted fans at ringside. Savage then pushed Steamboat over the security rail and delivered an elbow shot that thrust Steamboat’s throat into the rail and dropped the ring bell onto his throat from the top rope, injuring his larynx and sending him to the hospital. A bitter rivalry between the two lasted for six months, including several bloody match-ups that finally culminated at WrestleMania. George “The Animal” Steele was in Steamboat’s corner, having developed a crush on Savage’s valet, Miss Elizabeth from before WrestleMania II.

20-something nearfalls – back then, seeing a match paced the way Savage and Steamboat had was unheard of and charted new territory. Fans were getting used to the Hogan formula, or were accustomed to the grappling holds and more “realistic” style of the NWA and Jim Crockett. It was not often fans saw athletes who were both high flyers and grapplers and yet had the speed of a sprinter. Savage and Steamboat obliterated the perception that “larger than life personalities” meant LARGE. Hulk Hogan could not do 75% of what was happening in the ring. This was a back and forth affair that got the referee, Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura exhausted when it was over. At the end, Savage got his just desserts as George Steele tossed Savage onto a ring bell he brought into the ring and was opened up for a Steamboat small package and over 93,000 fans losing their minds. I still consider this a perfect match (I know some will disagree, but…that’s just like…their opinion, man.)

MAIN EVENT
WWE TITLE
(C) THE ROCK VS. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN
WRESTLEMANIA X-7 (2001)

Here it is, the main event – arguably the best main event from arguably the best WrestleMania in history. Steve Austin had returned in late 2000 to a completely different WWF landscape: when he had to exit for over a year due to injury, Austin was the MAN, the savior of WWF and the hottest pop culture commodity on the planet. When he returned, The Rock was the most popular superstar in the world, perhaps even at a status that surpassed Austin’s own. But that mattered not to Austin. Popularity be damned, Austin simply needed one thing to vindicate his return: The WWF Title. After winning an unprecedented third Royal Rumble, and The Rock defeating Kurt Angle one month later at No Way Out for his sixth WWF Title, the stage was set for Rock and Austin to meet a second time in three years in the main event of WrestleMania.

Rock/Austin II was western mainstream professional wrestling reaching its apex; art and spectacle fusing seamlessly as The Rock showed the world why he was the WWF Champion and hottest face at the time, while Steve Austin displayed why he was the defining face of the Attitude Era. They pulled out psychology, callbacks to not only the feud’s history, but history of their actual personas and a pace that blew the roof off the Astrodome. The story of Steve Austin doing everything he could to re-ascend to the top of the mountain he was once king of and the lengths he would go was a Shakespearean tragedy. Everything from Jim Ross and Paul Heyman on commentary, the red-hot Houston crowd (biggest ovation ever for Austin’s entrance?) and the surreal feeling of WCW and ECW falling under the WWF umbrella less than a week before the match made for an atmosphere that fans may never experience again. It was an epic OTT spectacle that told an amazing story in its own right, and with the final images of Vince McMahon and Austin shaking hands over a physically assaulted Rock, we reached the absolute height of pro wrestling’s mainstream credibility. Things have not been anywhere even close to the fever pitch witnessed here.

So that is my Sudoku-inspired WrestleMania card. What is yours?

On a personal note, I want to thank ALL for condolences, well-wishes and words of encouragement over the death of my pet. It is hard, but knowing that you guys at 411Mania care warms my heart. They say wrestling fans are basement-dwelling virgins, misogynist sociopaths and bloodthirsty rednecks. You guys continually break those stereotypes with your empathy and loyalty towards me. YOU are the reason I have stuck with 411Mania for 15 years. Thank you again.

Len Archibald is the former Executive Director of the Northwest Ohio Independent Film Festival, and is a current movie reviewer for WLIO in Lima, Ohio.

Agree or disagree with me? Let me know on Twitter!
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