Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, The Wrong and The Ridiculous of WWE Raw

How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.

By: Jack Stevenson
Raw 11.24.14:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Ryback d. Mark Henry
* Dean Ambrose d. Luke Harper via DQ
* The Miz & Damian Mizdow d. Goldust & Stardust
* Fandango d. Justin Gabriel
* Brie Bella d. AJ Lee
* Natalya & Tyson Kidd d. Adam Rose & The Bunny
* John Cena & Dolph Ziggler d. Seth Rollins & J & J Security

THE RIGHT:
The Authority is Dead, Long Live the Authority!: Out on their behinds after their team lost at Survivor Series, The Authority opened Raw to delivered one last sad, bitter tirade. They seemed legitimately furious and distraught at having all their power taken away from them, and Triple H is far, far too convincing whenever he starts berating the fans for not being as smart as he is, so all told this was an effective, well delivered promo. As they attempted to leave the ring, Daniel Bryan made his much anticipated return to taunt his former tormentors and confirm that he would be running the show this week. He then made most of the matches for the evening, which were all themed around Team Authority getting their comeuppance- Harper would have to defend his Intercontinental Championship against Dean Ambrose, John Cena and Dolph Ziggler would get their hands on Rollins, Noble and Mercury, and Rusev would have to deliver the pledge of allegiance or compete in a company wide battle royal for his title. Bryan still isn’t as smooth on the microphone as you’d hope, but it was great to see him, and his appointment as Caretaker General Manager was a cool moment of continuity and poetic justice. This was all very lengthy, very very lengthy, longer than any opening Raw promo in a good while, but it didn’t drag, and was mostly entertaining, and set up the rest of the show neatly enough, so it slots into the right.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper: Easily the best match of the show between easily two of the best wrestlers in WWE. It wasn’t as good as it could have been as a result of a tepid start, but it heated up really well towards the end with a stretch of intense wrestling and close near falls. It’s a pity the finish was so dissatisfying and featured the most anemic of ref bumps. Ambrose-Wyatt isn’t really doing it for me and their post match angle didn’t either, so this wasn’t an entirely great segment by any stretch. The good bits of Ambrose-Harper were really good though, good enough to get this in the right for sure.

It’s the Big TRAITOR: Yeah, I know, ANOTHER Big Show heel turn, but listen, this one looks like it’ll be kinda good. It’s so much more interesting when heels actually act like rational human beings rather than automatons programmed entirely with evil clichés, and Big Show was so reasonable here I actually felt quite sorry for him. He feared from his job so he turned on his team, but he didn’t try and claim that what he did was right, he just hoped the fans could forgive him. His slow progression from desperate friendliness to complete rage as he realized he wasn’t going to get that forgiveness was really nicely done, and much more subtle than Show usually goes for. Also, it now looks like he’ll be battling Erick Rowan, which could potentially be quite good if they keep their matches short and impactful. Of course, now that both men are bad guys the right thing to do is somehow pair Show and Henry together again and have them rip up the whole tag division, but even if that doesn’t happen, I’m more positive about rule-breaker Big Show than fan-favorite Big Show. This was a well-executed segment.

puRgatoRy:
The Miz & Damian Mizdow vs. Goldust & Stardust: This was a thoroughly OK match that advanced the Miz/Mizdow relationship nicely, with Sandow doing all the work and briefly looking like a bit of a badass before Miz miraculously recovered from a mystery injury to win the match and take the glory. It’s interesting that the stunt double still doesn’t seem upset by Miz’s selfishness. I think it’s good that WWE are willing to take their time with this, I just hope Mizdow’s mimicry doesn’t become played out. It’s a shame that this was such a typical midcard match though, in terms of both structure and the reaction it got from the fans (exaggerated cheers for Mizdow’s antics aside). It was this time last year that the tag division seemed in the midst of a genuine, concerted renaissance, and now the titles are being contested by gimmick teams, albeit entertaining ones, in matches that lack genuine drive or urgency. My kingdom for the Shield to inexplicably reform!

Rusev is a maggot: So Rusev decided he would rather take the pledge of allegiance than defend his title in the Battle Royal, although he and Lana were clearly distraught (it was nice to see them both show some vulnerability after months of smug superiority). Eventually, Daniel Bryan deployed Sgt. Slaughter to oversee the ceremony, but Rusev decided he’d just menace the Hall of Famer instead. Jack Swagger made the save before the Brute could attack though. This was pretty fun and original for a Rusev segment, and it’s always nice to see the lesser spotted legends like Slaughter, but the ending was a serious disappointment, as boring old Jack Swagger stormed down to ringside to make the save. This either means that we’re getting a hugely unnecessary extra chapter in the Swagger-Rusev rivalry, or that WWE were too lazy to book an actual ending to the segment.

AJ vs. Brie Bella: Nikki Bella is the Divas Champion and, if this match is anything to go by, she’s on the same page as her sister again. It’s a good time to be her! The Bellas are at their best when they’re playing heels transplanted from a particularly shallow reality TV show, and that’s where they seem to be going at the moment, so that’s good. Of course, the match wasn’t up to much, and AJ’s faux CM Punk character is kind of getting on my nerves a bit (Paige would probably be more likeable in her role), but by Divas Division standards this was all totally fine.

The wRong:
Ryback vs. Mark Henry: I don’t think the booking worked very well here. Ryback savaged Mark Henry before the bell rang, and then once the match had begun pinned him in a minute with the Meathook Clothesline. This was presumably meant to make Ryback look like a fuming, unstoppable monster, but I think having him beat Henry cleanly in a slightly longer, more competitive match would have worked better. As it was, Ryback didn’t look so great because he attacked Henry before the match even began, which made his victory kind of hollow, and Henry just looked weak and helpless getting his ass kicked all the time. Neither man came out of this looking as good as they could have done.

Justin Gabriel vs. Fandango: The new Fandango is exactly the same as the old Fandango except he dances in a slightly different way and wears all black now. I don’t think the reason Fandango lost momentum was because of widespread discontent at his snazzy waistcoats (although that would explain why the recent Chris Jericho returns have underwhelmed) so I’m pretty sure this reboot is doomed to failure.

Adam Rose & The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd & Natalya: Here’s what I don’t understand about the Rose/Bunny rivalry. Outside of the Bunny doing silly little dances and occasionally smacking Adam Rose on the bottom or something, this isn’t really a comedic feud, even when you apply the very loose definition of the word ‘comedy’ that was needed to justify all the El Torito-Hornswoggle shit from earlier in the year. Rose and the Bunny aren’t often actively attempting to be funny, they’re just doing midcard matches and occasionally Rose will do a scowl. Yet, obviously, it’s impossible to take the feud even remotely seriously because it’s a rivalry between an anthropomorphic bunny and a more thoughtful Russell Brand. So how exactly are we meant to react to this? It’s all so poorly conceived and tedious.

John Cena & Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins & J & J Security: The match itself was moderately entertaining, but there was too much wrong about this for me. There’s something about seeing Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury treated as such incompetent jokes that makes me uncomfortable- both of them were excellent, under appreciated wrestlers in their day and actually have pretty inspiring stories to tell, particularly Joey who has overcome terrible drug problems, so this protracted humiliation seemed an unnecessary slight. When it was Patterson and Brisco making fools out of themselves as the authority’s stooges it seemed much more funny, because the two were legendary wrestlers acting like bumbling idiots. Noble and Mercury never achieved the level of success their talents merited and so to see them openly laughed at like this is just a bit sad. Plus, considering they were mocked by their opponents, their tag partner, and the commentators, J & J Security actually spent a fair amount of time in control of the match, which was a bit weird. On the plus side, their comedy spots were well crafted and Seth Rollins played a great straight man. On the down side, the whole segment ended led to the reintroduction of the fucking Anonymous General Manager. WWE has been over-reliant on nostalgia for far too long, but are we really at a stage where we’re saying “hey guys, remember THIS match/character/event?” about universally disliked things that happened two years ago and are directly linked to Hornswoggle? It doesn’t seem like a permanent thing, thank goodness, but even one week is a week too many when they could have got a likeable legend in to fulfill the GM role for an episode. A disappointing ending to the show.

THE RIDICULOUS:
NOTHING

THE RAW MATCH OF THE YEAR LIST:
No change.

* 3.03.14- The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family
* 2.17.14- John Cena vs. Cesaro
* 5.5.14- The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family
* 2.03.14- Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton
* 2.10.14- Sheamus & Christian vs. The Real Americans
* 1.27.14- John Cena, Sheamus & Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield
* 6.2.14- The Usos vs. The Wyatt Family
* 27.10.14- John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
* 8.18.14- Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
* 4.21.14- Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

The 411:
A much weaker episode than the last few, although I thought it was still marginally better than November episodes of years gone by. The most frustrating thing here was how spectacularly they failed to carry over the momentum of the Survivor Series main event, promising huge, sweeping change and then delivering the exact same show they always do. Some of it was pretty good- I liked the Authority’s parting promo and the Big Show’s defense especially. The wrestling was sub-par though, as was the crowd, and that was a bit of a drag. This wasn’t a bad Raw on the whole, but it’s entirely skippable.

Show Rating: 6.0

As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…

0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

The 943rd edition is over…