wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, Wrong and Ridiculous of Impact & Smackdown
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
By The Returning Jericho Ricardi
Impact 1.08.15
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Kurt Angle def. MVP at 6:00 via pin (Angle Slam)
* The Revolution def. The Wolves at 6:00 via pin (Last Call) to retain the Tag Team Titles
* Austin Aries def. Low Ki at 8:00 via pin (Brainbuster) to win the X-Division Title
* Taryn Terrell won a battle royal at 5:00 to retain the Knockouts Title
* Bobby Lashley def. Bobby Roode at 20:00 via pin (Spear) to win the World Title
THE RIGHT:
The Intro: The massive brawl was very enjoyable both on TV and live in the arena. Brawls to open shows are a great response to the talky segments that seem to plague so many modern wrestling show openings. Impact should start every show with action right out of the gate like this. Also liked the musical intro showing the wrestlers preparing for battle. Great stuff here to psych us up before the show even began.
The Announcing: Josh Matthews and Taz did an excellent job on announcing. They were sharply dressed and generally came across like they gave a damn, something I haven’t been able to say about the announcing for a while. Matthews had a lot to add to the product (I didn’t know Low Ki was the first ROH champion, that’s pretty cool) and I think he inspired Taz to step up. Overall, a huge improvement in that area of the broadcast.
An Awesome Return: It was great to see Awesome Kong return, and having it be during a lights-out moment was a good move. Her face-to-face with Havok is a booker’s dream match, and judging from the monster reaction in the arena, a match that people want to see. Great call immediately putting Awesome Kong up against Havok, but I have to wonder if the actual Knockouts champion, Taryn Terrell, is lost in the shuffle. Suddenly her title win over Havok doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Havok as unbeaten champion going against Awesome Kong would seem much bigger than the matchup already does. It’s safe to say that at the time that Taryn won the title, they didn’t know that Awesome Kong would be returning. Still, it’s one of those “if only” situations in hindsight.
The Crowd: From “MVPenis” chants to a variety of unflattering chants for EC3, this crowd was hilarious. Unfortunate that the new network feels the need to censor their chants, which might put a damper on further NYC tapings. They reacted strongly to most of the show, with Awesome Kong getting an earth-shaking response.
James Storm’s interview with Tenay: He went full Wyatt-mode here, but there’s no denying that Storm has been very effective in his role as evil cult leader. Ending the promo with a whistle was a good touch.
EC3: This guy was gold in everything he did, as usual. I do wish he had something better to do than bully Jeremy Borash, but since he’s injured right now there isn’t a whole lot he can do as far as feuds and matches go just yet. Still manages to be entertaining, and I hope that 2015 is geared towards making him the centerpiece of the show.
The Title Matches: Wolves/Revolution, Ki/Aries, and Roode/Lashley were all excellent, entertaining contests. This was a good show for match quality, with three clinics and two title changes. Ki/Aries was especially good. I appreciate that Impact almost always has the title on the line in matches that involve a champion; as a result the titles mean something. You won’t see Austin Aries getting pinned by Tigre Uno in a non-title match for no reason the day after winning a title.
puRgatoRy:
Everybody Turns Heel: This was going to end up in Wrong when I watched the show live at the Manhattan Center, but after I saw the airing on TV, it makes sense. Lashley didn’t want anything to do with MVP, but one does not simply walk away from a gang. From there, MVP made it his business to help Lashley win the title, even if Lashley didn’t want or need it. The turns of Low Ki and Samoa Joe made some sense; they’re well documented as MVP’s running buddies behind the scenes.
Eric Young, on the other hand, is a popular face, and turning him looks like a mistake. It does make sense, as MVP alluded to how “planted seeds” were coming to fruition; this was a reference to the way he attempted to turn Roode and Young against each other several months ago. While Roode brushed him off, EY listened for a little bit too long and doubt began to form in his mind. The fact is, Roode treated EY like a lackey for a long time, and even once that ended, Roode won most if not all of their confrontations. It makes sense that it’d slowly burn EY up that Roode is better than he is, or at least perceived to be.
On the surface we lost a couple of valuable faces here in EY, Joe, and Low Ki. As someone who is both against frequent heel turns and thinks the company has been short on good guys for a while, losing these three guys to the dark side strikes me as a mistake. Especially Eric Young. Even though the turn makes sense, it isn’t a turn that anyone was asking for.
Another issue is that James Storm’s Revolution was poised to be the top faction in the company going forward, but now they’ve been relegated to second-place. And, unfortunately, second-place heel factions never seem to do well (NWO B-Team, 3MB, World Elite). I was also looking forward to a Storm/Roode feud over the world title, but now it appears that the company isn’t going in that direction at all. Storm deserves better right now, as he comes across like a stronger main event heel than MVP does. Then again, MVP does get bigger and angrier crowd reactions than Storm, so maybe I’m wrong.
I think the biggest problem with this whole thing is that it looked designed to shock the audience, and it came across as very TNA/WCW in execution. One shocking heel turn to close out the show is one thing, but they went overboard by turning two of the most beloved guys in the company (and Low Ki). It all came off like “HA! WE GOT YOU!” and shocks are no substitute for good storytelling. If you told me Vince Russo was involved in this, I’d be completely unsurprised. His fingerprints are all over this show, and while there’s a place for many of his ideas, his Crash TV show format doesn’t work in this day and age.
Going forward, this could lead to good things. Young turning on Roode gives the former champion someone new to feud with rather than continuing his months-long rivalry with Lashley over the title. On the flipside, Lashley’s confusion post-match clearly indicates that he wasn’t in on the interference, which tells me that Lashley will be feuding with MVP over the title. We’ll see if these developments result in compelling feuds, but as of right now I find myself wondering why Joe and Low Ki needed to get sacrificed at the altar of shocking heel turns.
MVP Vs. Angle: This was a perfectly good street fight, but it felt like a waste of both guys. How about having them in a real match (a Submission Match, perhaps) that they’re dressed for? As far as opening matches go, this one just felt lacking. I’d have given them a pull-apart brawl instead, then a real match later in the show. It was also counterproductive to have MVP lose here (to a single Angle Slam – a somewhat dated finisher – no less) given that the company seems to be going towards MVP as possibly the main heel title contender for now.
Backstage screen-in-screen: This didn’t really work. It might have been better to just have the announcers talk about what was going on backstage, because showing it detracted from the match and made it hard to focus on either thing. I appreciate a fast-paced show, but there’s fast-paced and then there’s ADD.
THE wRong:
Knockouts Champion defending the title in a battle royal: There were a bunch of issues with this. First off, why was the champion defending the title in a battle royal to begin with? That’s something that generally only happens when a champion is being punished by an authority figure, and matchmaker Kurt Angle has no beef with Taryn Terrell. Secondly, she only won because she and Gail Kim teamed up to screw over Havok again. This match benefited no one, and wasn’t any good to boot. A one-on-one title defense against Gail Kim would have made for a much better match, and we could have still had Havok run in afterwards (or cause the DQ if we don’t want Gail losing). Speaking of Havok, the post match beat down went on for way too long, but at least the end result was good (see above). Worst of all, this whole battle royale took a backseat to… Robbie E? As over as his return was with the live crowd, the whole thing with the BroMans made the women feel like an afterthought. At least have Robbie E return in his own segment rather than mashing segments together Crash TV style.
THE Ridiculous:
The Lighting/Presentation: First of all, I like that they changed the ropes from blue to black. I talked a lot last year about how the light-blue ropes gave the show a “cold” feeling. Black ropes fix that while adding a serious edge. That said, drastically turning down the crowd lighting was a bad move. Half the time it looked like the wrestlers were competing in a void. I’ve heard it speculated that the lighting was turned down to hide the empty crowd, but having been there myself I can say the Manhattan Center was packed. It’s more likely that the dim lighting was a stylistic choice, to put emphasis on the ring ala New Japan shows. However, the crowd is a huge part of Impact broadcasts; we need to be able to see them and their reactions. There was one point right before the Revolution/Wolves match where the crowd lighting was gold for a few seconds, and it looked great. I think a not-too-bright gold lighting on the crowd would add a lot of energy to the show, be a unique look that hasn’t been done before, and greatly enhance the overall presentation. Anything would be better than hiding the crowd like this. I don’t want to watch UK Impacts next month and not even be able to see their huge crowds over there.
It may sound like I’m being critical, but this was a good show. It was fun in person, aside from various technical difficulty delays midway through. The crowd was electric and near capacity, and had a couple of local celebrities in attendance. That said, they needed to knock this out of the park and really justify their continued existence to their detractors, and I don’t feel like they did that. The Crash TV format felt like an Impact from 2010 at times. Ending the show with a schmozz and a heel faction running wild just felt played-out. Regardless, I’ll see where they go with it from here. The high match quality saved the show, and the intro was truly excellent.
Cheap plug time, support this site and this column by sharing it with your homies. Also, support my site Coronajumper.com by reading my musings on video games, including TNA Impact for the PS2/PS3. Featuring gratuitous Rebel.
Show Rating: 7.8
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
By Jack McGee
Smackdown 1.09.15
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Big E defeated Adam Rose @ 2:41 via pin
* The Ascension defeated Enhancement Talents @ 0:45 via pin
* Alicia Fox defeated Naomi @ 1:25 via pin
* Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Usos defeated Goldust and Stardust and Miz and Sandow @ 13:55 via pin
* IC Title Match: Sin Cara defeated Champion Wade Barrett @ 2:09 via pin
* Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose defeated Seth Rollins and Big Show @ 10:15 via pin
THE RIGHT:
Tag Team Title Match: Champions The Usos defeated Goldust and Stardust and Miz and Sandow : This was the one thing that I enjoyed on this week’s show. The current tag team champions taking on the former tag team champions and another set of former tag team champions. They got a lot of time to work, the crowd was into it (they love the Usos and love cheering for Sandow to get into his matches when Miz refuses) and overall it was very enjoyable. I love watching Goldust and Stardust work together, they look genuinely happy and I also feel that they really bring out the best in all of the guys they work with. Last week when I said to have the Ascension working with them on the road every night for 20-minutes, I meant that as a high compliment. Cody is a good worker and has committed to the new character so well, which is a credit to him. Goldust is FOURTY FIVE years old, is working like he’s in his 30s, and is awesome. For as much stuff as I was not a fan of on this show, I really enjoyed this, the work of all involved and the fact that they got the time to work and do their thing.
puRgatoRy:
The Ascension Kill Dudes: Like I said last week, the Ascension killing job guys is perfectly fine for now. Just do not let them talk, because they are not good at it and I don’t think that they are getting the right kind of heat for the promo. Also, the commentary team does nothing to help them get over either. They come off as if they are completely mocking them instead of questioning them as I think that is what they are looking for. Someone teach JBL and Cole how to use proper verbiage, because some words help and some words hurt. I want thee guys to get a real chance, but they either need to write them and the commentary better stuff or find them a manager. And then go back and fix the commentary team. These guys are on the edge; a shove one way could ruin them quickly.
Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose defeated Seth Rollins and Big Show: The match was set up during the opening promo, with Reigns being forced to find a tag team partner. The threat was there that who ever tagged with Reigns would have to suffer the wrath of the Authority. It ended up being Dean Ambrose, which for me was the definition of Purgatory. On one hand it makes sense, Ambrose has had issues with the Authority and doesn’t give a shit about their wrath. But on the other hand he is just coming off of an ambulance match, and should have been held off TV to sell the beating and stipulation. This is another reason that no one cares about the series Ambrose and Wyatt had, because it never meant anything and the guys acted like it was a regular match and they were always just back. The match was fine, Big Show bores me to tears these days and does nothing for my entertainment. Rollins took the pin, which after a long period of protection is taking more of them. By the way WWE books, this leads me to believe that the cash in is coming sooner rather then later.
Big E defeated Adam Rose: They get credit for continuing things from Raw, where Kidd and Cesaro attacked Big E and the New Day after being disguised as Rosebuds. The match was acceptable work, but Rose has been so poorly booked that I cannot buy him as a threat in any tangible way, even if he was given more here than usual. Big E looks ridiculous with his little sweat handkerchief and this was just a match that could have been put on by any two men on the roster. I guess the other good thing was that this served as the background to launch the New Day vs. Kidd and Cesaro feud; please allow Kofi and Woods to team, because then we’ll get some really fun matches.
THE wRong:
NOTHING
THE Ridiculous:
Opening promo – Roman Reigns Gets a Bad Script: The show opened with the usual WWE show opening promo. Main player comes out, talks about recent event, match and or matches are usually made and we move on. I am not the biggest fan of them, I feel like others that it is lazy, but it is what they do. I felt Rollins did well, coming off like a complete ass in how he described getting the Authority back and rubbing Cena’s face in it. And then, then it all went off the rails as Roman Reigns made his way to the ring. The word on the streets is that Vince McMahon is personally scripting Reign’s promos, and it shows because this was some truly horrible shit. Having Roman Reigns, the big badass and rumored next top star, using phrases like “sufferin succotash” like he’s Sylvester the Cat and “donkey dung for brains” like he’s John Cena was absolutely horrible. And then there are people saying that this was all carefully planned to mock fans that think Reigns cannot cut a promo. If they are purposely having a rumored next big thing style star cutting bad promos then this company is worst off creatively than I thought. And don’t tell me The Rock said it either, WHY? Because; he is the FUCKIN ROCK! He could go to the ring and read Mein Kampf and people would chant that it was awesome. Listen, Reigns looks the part, has the lineage and reportedly works really hard. I like the guy and hope he can succeed; but there are obviously issues (promos, selling, layering in matches) that he still needs to work on, but he’s still young in his career. No one should be surprised that flaws that were previously hidden while in the Shield are now exposed. That’s not trashing the guy, the potential is there, but scripting shit promos like this are not going to help him in any way no matter how many times he winks. And for the record, the only wrestler that should use a term like “sufferin succotash” is an olde timey wrestler like Gentleman Jervis Cottonbelly.
IC Title Match: Sin Cara defeated Champion Wade Barrett : Monday WWE made the decision to really press the Authority return angle, and part of that push was to remove the IC Title from Dolph Ziggler and to put it back on Wade Barrett. While I personally disliked a lot of Raw, I felt that this was done well. They completely screwed Ziggler out of the title, but also made sure to re-enforce the fact that Barrett never lost the title, instead having to relinquish it due to injury. I can get behind this move. Unfortunately after some really good worm by Ziggler, the curse of the IC Title is back. The curse, if you missed it, is STUPID FUCKING BOOKING. Wade Barrett lost in two-minutes to a guy that has been banished to NXT and Superstars for the better part of the last year. The last time Cara win a match that aired on Raw or Smackdown was in August against Damien Sandow. Can’t wait for this to be a filler match on Raw where they get another two-minutes and Barrett bull hammers Cara back to the WWE Network. There are much better ways to build a legit contender, this is the lazy ass WWE modern wrestling way and it’s not acceptable.
Alicia Fox defeated Naomi: While a continuation of the feud that they started on Raw, this was horrible. Not the ladies, not the work they tried, the booking of the divas. The booking of the WWE divas division continues to be a complete joke. How are they supposed to put on anything resembling a competent match in 85 seconds? How are the crowd supposed to ever get emotionally invested in these ladies when they are working 85 second matches? It’s horrible and a complete embarrassment that they are still treated this way, and that the WWE brain trust is completely happy booking them this way. They are on TV and that all that matters, because they only serve to be an 85 second commercial for Total Divas. Remember, we have to promote Total Divas at all costs, forget the women in the ring; they get AN HOUR OF TV TIME on Sundays on E! FUCK YEAH that’s the real push. What bullshit.
Show Rating: 2.5
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
