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Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, Wrong and Ridiculous of WWE Raw
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
By: Jack Stevenson
Raw 3.30.15:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Daniel Bryan d. Dolph Ziggler
* The New Day & The Lucha Dragons d. Tyson Kidd, Cesaro & The Ascension
* Damien Mizdow d. Stardust
* Adrian Neville d. Curtis Axel
* John Cena d. Dean Ambrose
* AJ, Naomi & Paige d. The Bella Twins & Natalya
* Randy Orton, Ryback & Roman Reigns d. Seth Rollins, Kane & The Big Show
THE RIGHT:
Brock Lesnar is really unhappy : Brock Lesnar is a genuinely remarkable human being and he’s reached the point in his career where, simply by turning up, he can turn run of the mill segments into intense and anarchic and compelling television. This week, his manager complained about him losing the WWE Championship and then later on he beat up Michael Cole and a camera man, and both of these set pieces, on paper not especially gripping, were among the best things Raw has offered in years. Of course, it helps that he has a great supporting cast- Paul Heyman’s promo was as superb as you’d expect and Seth Rollins seems incapable as plateauing as a performer- there was a time when it didn’t look like he had enough to go any further than being a darling of the independents, and now he’s WWE Champion and looks right at home in the weaselly, relentlessly antagonistic role. But it’s Lesnar that will define the 2015 post WrestleMania Raw in the same way that Bryan defined last year’s and 2012s- his furious reaction to Rollins’ canceling their championship rematch at the last minute left me feeling terrified for the health of the champion as he desperately tried to scramble over the barricade to freedom and kept getting caught, while the attacks on Noble and Mercury and Cole and the cameraman felt like completely spontaneous expressions of real, uncontrollable rage. Those attacks led to him getting suspended by Stephanie McMahon and written off television until supposedly the month before Summerslam, so fantasy booking that card… Rollins/Reigns/Lesnar in a Triple Threat main event? Ooh! With Cena and Bryan unifying the midcard championships on the undercard? I remain unconvinced they need two now that they’ve got a full time champion again.
Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler: This was a great opener. It had some really beautiful wrestling sequences, in the vein of a good Bret/Owen match, mixed in with nasty exchanges of headbutts. Bad News Barrett kept his eye on proceedings from commentary and made for a great addition to the booth, while post match a mohawked Sheamus launched himself into the title picture by beating down both Bryan and Ziggler. On Smackdown we’re getting Sheamus/Barrett vs. Daniel/Dolph, which indicates why a heel turn for the Celtic Warrior is a great move- the Intercontinental Title scene right now consists of talented smash mouth bullies warring with first rate human pinball Ziggler and an impeccable mat wizard of a champion, it’s a wonderful collection of styles and it makes the big white belt seem a vibrant, exciting, worthwhile championship. It’s all very promising indeed.
The New Day & The Lucha Dragons vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd & The Ascension: This was a sparkling sprint in which loads of people looked really great. Big. E had that run where he was suplexing the heck out of everybody like he was trying to park a tank on Brock Lesnar’s lawn, Cesaro looked typically terrific throwing his smaller opponents all over the place, and Kofi Kingston seemed even more bouncy and energetic than usual- neither he nor TAKFA Langston deserve the disdain the crowd treat them with, and a prompt heel turn seems to be the best way to turn that backlash into something constructive. Kalisto, though, deserves a couple of sentences all to himself, because that was one of the most perfect Raw debuts you’ll ever see. He is an absolutely jaw dropping athlete, he rattles off complex aerial maneuvers with such confidence and grace and poise and precision. It’s too early to make comparisons between him and Rey Mysterio really but I’m going to make them anyway, because Rey was my favourite wrestler and it looks like I might have found a new one. I want to see Kalisto wrestle everyone. I want Cesaro and Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt to kick and slam and suplex him into my heart and then I want him to roar back with all the crazy high flying moves he can muster. He and Sin Cara also have that “LUCHA! LUCHA!” arm pump/wave thing going for them, which means their fanbase will look like a fascinating combination of the Yes Movement and the pre-pubescent children of the early nineties doing the Bushwhacker walk. This match was swell.
Neville vs. Curtis Axel: His high flying antics were somewhat overshadowed by those of Kalisto, and I’m not convinced ‘Neville’ is so alluringly exotic that he doesn’t need a forename, but this was still a good debut for the former NXT Champion. The crowd were really really into him, he ran rings around an established (if not particularly fearsome) competitor in Curtis Axel, and the Red Arrow remains a thing of beauty. He seems a very worthwhile addition to the main roster.
John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose: Another accomplished match on this accomplished show; a bit too reliant on near falls to create drama, but otherwise a good display from both guys. I really liked Ambrose trapping Cena in the STF and then wrenching at his fingers to try and stop him from grabbing the ropes, wrestlers who clearly think and care about their craft are always among the more likeable. Cena winning clean was moderately disappointing as he and Dean had a really good, equal, needling rivalry going on in the fall of 2014 and it would have been nice to see that reprised, but still, little wrong with this on the whole.
PaigeJaomi vs. The Bella Twins & Natalya: I think it’s important to underline that the people making shitheaded sexist chants at the Bellas and Natalya (and I think I heard some directed at Naomi as well?) are the worst of the worst of the worst wrestling fans. It’s so disheartening to see that kind of bile being directed at hard working women in 2015 (whether you’re part of this mini groundswell of support for the Bellas’ wrestling abilities or not, they absolutely do work hard), it sets wrestling back 20 years when it happens. WWE are just reaping what they sowed with the audience they cultivated in the Attitude era, it would be nice for them to take a firm stand against it and threaten to suspend people making those kind of remarks. That aside, this was a pretty fun six-woman tag, with some effective heat segments and an entertaining finishing stretch. They didn’t seem to have quite enough ideas to fill up the 13 minute run time, but it’s nice to see them getting 13 minutes at all. The ‘Give Divas a Chance’ hashtag really seems to have made a difference.
puRgatoRy:
Damien Sandow vs. Stardust: One of the few unremarkable segments on the show, Damien Mizdow picked up a pretty decent win over credible opposition in Stardust and then got beaten down by the Miz to move their feud along. I’m not convinced there’s any life in the Mizdow character once he’s had his vengeance on his despotic former boss, but there’s more they could be doing with Stardust and it’s a shame his character hasn’t quite caught on yet. When he found his beloved glittery ‘Starbird’ ladder at WrestleMania and shrieked and jigged with excitement, it was genuinely adorable. I’d like to adopt him as a pet. Surely there’s got to be something in that? A wrestler who would be an adorable pet? Yeah?
Goldust vs. Rusev: Just a quick squash for Rusev to get him back on the warpath after his WrestleMania loss to John Cena. Rusev’s going to be quite difficult to book from now on because in losing on the Grandest Stage of Them All to the best American hero WWE has right now, his character arc is essentially complete. What’s he going to do now? Keep complaining about America and lose more and more matches to a progressively less convincing series of their representatives? There’s the break-up with Lana I suppose, but after that his options are severely limited. I hope something comes up for him though, his first year in WWE has been highly impressive all things considered.
Wrestling’s 4Rs vs. The Authority: Randy, Ryback and Roman Reigns combined to take on Seth, Kane and Big Show in a main event that felt kind of anti-climactic after the incessant highs of the last three hours. It wasn’t an especially great match (though it was OK) and it didn’t feature a debuting wrestler or Brock Lesnar destroying everything in his path, so it was at a disadvantage as a headline act. It was at least a fresh match-up though, and it had some cool moments, Reigns’ tremendous plancha standing out in my mind. I know this is going to sound petty and mean spirited as anything, but I’m glad Reigns is still getting booed. His match against Lesnar was an incredible spectacle but it only masks the myriad of problems with his rise to the main event and he’s still displayed no evidence he can have a high quality match with anyone who isn’t one of the best wrestlers in history. He’s inching his way toward becoming more likeable and his silent, imposing performance tonight was strong, plus guys who shouldn’t be doing planchas doing planchas is always a superb sight, so he’s moving in the right direction at least. The fan favorites picked up a nice victory, and it’ll be intriguing to see what we get as a title match at Extreme Rules- Orton vs. Rollins? Reigns vs. Rollins? Ryback vs. Rollins (probably not that last one).
THE wRong:
NOTHING
THE Ridiculous:
NOTHING
Show Rating: 8.5
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
