wrestling / Columns

Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, Wrong and Ridiculous of WWE Raw

September 5, 2015 | Posted by Jack Stevenson

How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.


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By: Jack Stevenson


Raw 8.31.15:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Dolph Ziggler d. Rusev via disqualification
* Becky Lynch d. Alicia Fox in a Beat the Clock Challenge for a shot at the Divas’ Championship (3:21)
* Ryback d. The Big Show
* Charlotte d. Brie Bella in a Beat the Clock Challenge for a shot at the Divas’ Championship (1:40)
* Kevin Owens d. Cesaro
* Braun Strowman d. Dean Ambrose via disqualification
* Paige and Sasha Banks went to a Time Limit Draw in the Beat the Clock Challenge- therefore, Charlotte wins the Number One Contendership to the Divas’ Championship
* The Dudley Boyz d. The New Day

THE Right:

Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens: This started a little bit slow, but it soon turned into a match that neared the quality you’d hope for from these two. Lots of tough strikes and good near falls. The obvious problem with this feud is that both Cesaro and Owens desperately need to string together some victories over noteworthy talent in order to avoid falling through the trapdoor into the midcard, but only one person can come out on top of their rivalry. Owens has won both their two matches so far and Cesaro looks much weaker for it. Apparently (SPOILERS SPOILERS SMACKDOWN SPOILERS) he loses to Sheamus on Smackdown as well. Seems like another false dawn for the Swiss Superman. Sob. Still, this was a solid outing.

The Dudley Boyz vs. The New Day: More tremendous comedy from Kofi, Big. E and Xavier, as they begin a campaign to save all the tables of the world from destruction at the hands of the Dudleys. And, you know, their argument that Bubba and D-Von would destroy the times tables and the periodic table if they had half the chance was pretty sound. You know they would. Also, Xavier Woods has done marvelous work on his hair! Those are some deliciously evil locks. Anyway, there was also a match between the two teams that took place, the Dudleyz’ first in WWE in over a decade, and it was a pretty good redebut. Aside from a weird as heck clothesline Kofi took from Bubba the action was very crisp, the veterans looking right at home back in a WWE ring. I feel the New Day thieving a victory from the Dudleyz rather than losing clean would have been the best way to go, and the Prime Time Players deserve to have a bigger role than just snarking from commentary each week, but there was still plenty to like about this.

puRgatoRy:
The Divas’ Revolutionaries try to Beat the Clock: The Divas Revolution threatened to fly off the rails during last week’s Omnishambles, but there was definite improvement to be seen this time out on Raw. Admittedly, a lot of this was to do with the deployment of the Beat the Clock challenge, which helped paper over the cracks in the way the Divas’ are booked. Beat the Clock is a terrific gimmick. It’s simple, has a compelling hook, and guarantees a certain amount of competitive, meaningful wrestling. It would have been nice if Becky Lynch vs. Alicia Fox had gone on a little longer, since 3:21 wasn’t much time for the other two matches in the series to work with. Charlotte, Brie Bella, Paige and Sasha Banks were tasked with cobbling together something meaningful in well under two minutes apiece, while Dolph Ziggler and Rusev got nearly fifteen minutes to trade a big bunch of near falls and then do a DQ finish. All the meaningful developments in their feud began immediately after that match was over! It’s nothing personal against Ziggler or Rusev (well, OK, maybe it’s a little bit personal against Ziggler), but if they get fifteen minutes for no particular reason and Sasha Banks gets two for what is ostensibly a number one contenders match, it is further proof that WWE just don’t appreciate what an astonishing talent they have with her. Still, at least the clear structure of Beat the Clock ensured that everything was coherent, and wasn’t given the chance to collapse like the six woman tag from last week. Apparently last week’s MizTV was meant to tease dissension within Team P.C.B but completely failed to get this point across; Charlotte’s victory in the challenge was much more effective at achieving this goal, and there was a nice image in the immediate aftermath of Paige’s failure where the ‘Anti-Diva’ looked distraught, while her victorious team mate couldn’t stop a proud, winning smile from spreading across her face. As a Beat the Clock Challenge, this could have been done a lot better, but as a way of getting things back on track after what happened last week, they could have done a lot worse.

Braun Strowman vs. Dean Ambrose: This was not special, but it got its point across- Braun Strowman is a very scary and dangerous fellow who will definitely maul you if given half the chance. Here is a small observation from last week that I forgot to mention at the time- when Reigns first faced up to Strowman, he did a little shrug of the shoulders and his fist pump gesture before launching an attack, and that’s the kind of goofy nonsense he needs to quit doing. He’d just been confronted by a fearsome, mysterious, seven-foot tall goliath, who has just got finished pummeling his best friend’s skeleton into dust, and he still apparently had the composure to broadcast to the world his planned attack via the medium of rubbing his hand up and down his arm. Show some vulnerability, Roman! I know I’m being too harsh, I know he’s actually been largely fantastic this year and even got a genuinely brilliant bout out of the Big Show, and I wouldn’t even have picked up on this if it hadn’t been for my utter infatuation with Daniel Bryan and lingering bitterness that he might never headline WrestleMania again. But I do wish all wrestlers toned down the histrionics from time to time. Sometimes it’s good fun and other times it’s just vaguely embarrassing. I want fan favorites who piss themselves with fear sometimes. I want John Cena to break down in tears at the thought of wrestling some new form of SuperRusevUmagaKhali figure. I want Roman Reigns’ entrance video to be the ‘I’m a Little Teapot’ one. Anyway, this was all a long way of saying that there’s not a ton to say about a reasonably impressive debut for Braun Strowman. It was reasonably impressive. Bray Wyatt’s pre match promo wasn’t bad. Let’s see if this is actually going to lead to tangible improvements in the way The Wyatt Family are booked!

THE wRong:
Sting and Triple H, sitting in a tree: What a strange promo this was from Sting. It was delivered with the energy and charisma you’d expect from him, and at only five minutes in length it was welcomely punchy in comparison to the usual Raw opening promos, but the actual content of it was a little bizarre. The main thrust of his diatribe seemed to be that Triple H is really fantastic. A heck of a wrestler. Much better than that Seth Rollins fellow. Of course, the point was to sow seeds of dissension between Hunter and Rollins, building to a match between them at a later date, but since HHH is a part time competitor at most now, and is best now as the suited authority figure of WWE, it was jarring to suddenly hear about what a magnificent wrestler he still is. Triple H didn’t appear at all in that segment- he also didn’t appear at all in the following one, in which Stephanie McMahon told Rollins in no uncertain terms that he’s not even half of the hunky chunk of manbeef that is Triple H. The main event segment also featured a lot of references to Mr. Helmsley’s greatness considering he was nowhere to be seen. Insert the usual Simpsons reference here. Anyway, in case you were wondering “what other wrestlers is Seth Rollins not as good as?”, John Cena popped down to the ring with minutes remaining in the show to offer the answer “a heck of a lot of them,” reasserting that the WWE Champion is a total dweeb. I’ve said it before, but this is my least favorite John Cena of them all. Smug, entitled, painfully not funny. Somehow, though, he was able to charm Stephanie McMahon into letting him cash in his U.S. Championship rematch clause at Night of Champions, meaning Rollins has to defend two belts in one night. It might be an intentional rip off of what Ring of Honor have been doing with Jay Lethal, or it might be an honest coincidence, but either way I think it’s a pretty good idea, it gives Night of Champions a neat extra selling point now that its original gimmick has become well worn, and both of Seth’s matches will be intriguing to watch, for very different reasons. So, these segments certainly had a good reason for existing, but it’s a shame the execution was so weird. Just once, I’d like someone to say something nice about Seth Rollins. Something supportive. Where’s J&J Security when you need them?

Ziggler and Summer, sitting in a tree: I might quite have liked this angle if I’d never seen any wrestling before in my life. I liked the initial subtlety of Summer silently sneaking into Dolph’s locker room, under the nose of Renee Young, and I liked the way the story played out in tiny stages across the course of the evening, it was a good pace for it. I didn’t like the way the story itself was inane and stupid and made all the characters look stupid bar the ever dignified Rusev who didn’t deign to get involved. There’s something to be said for the viewer sometimes knowing a little bit more than the characters on screen. There’s nothing to be said for the viewer knowing everything and all the characters being so unbelievably foolish they seem like dumbfuck facsimilies of humans, rather than real ones. It’s Lana who comes out of this looking the worst, of course. Summer Rae’s plan was stupid and should never have worked, but because Lana was just monumentally stupid, it did. WE ALL SAW WHAT HAPPENED. SUMMER RAE JUST CREPT INTO DOLPH’S LOCKER ROOM! DOLPH’S STORY HAS BEEN PROVEN TO BE TRUE! I guess WWE wrestlers don’t get to see the backstage segments, but it just makes Lana utterly infuriating to be taking what we know to be a wildly irrational standpoint. Even if we hadn’t had that scene of Summer creeping into Dolph’s room, it still would have been so obvious what was going on. I don’t think I appreciated Lana enough while she was with Rusev, you know. I was never a big fan at the time, but I look at what she’s become now and feel wistful over the days when she had some strength and dignity. Now she’s getting all heartbroken over the most blatant of tricks. Ziggler looked vapid and daft for putting on his soft and sincere voice over such a silly little thing, for even taking her seriously. Bah. This storyline would be really good if it only had Rusev in it.

THE Ridiculous:
NOTHING

The 411:

Not a brilliant show this week, as the two main angles both fell desperately flat and the wrestling wasn’t good enough to compensate. Night of Champions looks like it could be a fun B-show in fairness, with Rollins getting to flex his wrestling muscles twice against two worthwhile opponents. I’m not looking forward to the build up very much though, and it seems like the traditional creative malaise that engulfs WWE in the Fall has started slightly early this year.

Show Rating: 5.5

As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…

0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

The 1021st edition is over…

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article topics :

RAW, Wrestling's 4Rs, WWE, Jack Stevenson