Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, Wrong and Ridiculous of WWE Raw

How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.

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By: Jack Stevenson

Raw 1.12.15:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* Seth Rollins d. John Cena in a Lumberjack Match
* The New Day d. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro
* Roman Reigns d. Luke Harper
* Alicia Fox d. a one armed Naomi
* The Miz d. Jimmy Uso
* Brie Bella d. Paige
* The Ascension d. Enhancement Talent
* Rusev d. Dean Ambrose

THE RIGHT:
Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper: A pretty decent effort from these two; the match went straight to the point, had a good pace, and saw a cracking dropkick from Harper. Conversely, it was kind of exciting to hear the most vocal backlash against Reigns yet, because he’s just not an exciting prospect to headline the next six or seven PPVs, and if it’s too late for him to turn back on the Road to (the) Wrestlemania (main event), at least there’s a chance we’ll get an amusing rebellion by one of the proper snarky internet crowds. He is at his best doing these kind of things- short contests with superior opponents who can cover up the cracks in his arsenal and make the stuff he does do well look as ace as possible. He won’t have the luxury of five minutes matches with Luke Harper if he becomes World Champion at Wrestlemania. Perhaps I should be as positive as possible about these kind of matches while I still can!

Paul Heyman talks, it’s not bad: I felt this was one of Heyman’s stronger efforts in a little while- the “FANTASY! REALITY!” mantra was clever and catchy and achieved it’s job of making Lesnar seem like the biggest deal possible. I also liked that he made sure to specifically mention Seth Rollins, and questioned whether he was the future of WWE; I think the focus absolutely should be on Seth in the build-up to try and make him as viable a winner as two of the biggest stars in recent WWE history, and also to make this whole thing fresher than and distinct from another chapter in the Lesnar-Cena rivalry. All in all, this promo ticked all the necessary boxes with a little flourish for good measure.

Daniel Bryan! Hooray!: Man, it’s good to have Bryan back! Not only is he the best North American professional wrestler of the last decade at least, his sheepish grin whenever people chant “YES!,” or his name, is so sweet! The content of the promo wasn’t as important as the fact it marked his official return, but it was pretty good anyway, setting up his in ring redebut on Smackdown and seeing him get the better of old foe Kane, while also making a nice jab at the Stephanie McMahon fitness DVD. I hope he only needs one more episode of TV to reacquaint himself with the Big Red Monster before he moves on to other, fresher, brighter opponents, but as a way of easing him back into the mix it’s not a bad idea. A thoroughly positive segment!

The Exciting World of Contract Signings: Usually I can’t stand contract signings but, hey, this one was hot stuff! Lesnar, Cena and Rollins all were out, signing the papers, cutting the promos, but the three way dynamic and Heyman’s superb shit stirring and Rollins keeping up on the microphone with his more established contemporaries all made the segment a lot more intriguing. But it was when the brawl kicked off that things became really good, as Rollins actually came out on top, delivering curb stomps to both Cena and Lesnar. The fact that he was able to take out Brock was particularly significant, because he’s been practically untouchable for months; even being able to hit one solitary, memorable offensive move on his is enough to make your star shine a lot brighter, and all of a sudden Seth seems an integral part of the Triple Threat, not just the outsider looking in. I think it’s a mega interesting match which I’m looking forward to a lot, and all three competitors have a real chance of winning (although I’ve not really been following how Lesnar’s contract negotiations are going, for all know he could be out on his bottom as soon as the event finishes). There should be some great sequences with the three different styles all meshing at once, and like I say there’s proper intrigue surrounding the winner. I mean, it’ll probably be Cena, but at least there’s a chance it could be one of the others. This closing segment did a lot to get me buzzing about it as well, so, good work team!

puRgatoRy:
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins: This was one of the more forgettable outings from these two, with the lumberjack stipulation doing exactly what you’d expect it to and nothing more. The action was fine, but they’ve faced each other so frequently recently, and even accounting for WWE’s frequently foot-shooting booking decisions you knew Ziggler, Ryback and Rowan weren’t coming back within a week, as they would have done if Cena had won here. It was an entirely acceptable match, but the contract signing completely overshadowed it.
The New Day vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd: Decent action from four talented wrestlers, although with the booking surrounding both teams being fairly lacklustre it was hard to get into it. Still, there are some darn cool double teams coming out of those two pairings, so maybe a few more matches between them wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Jey Uso vs. The Miz: Nothing really happened here! A pity as well, because The Usos vs. Miz & Mizdow seemed like it was going to be a properly fun feud at one point.

Paige vs. Brie Bella: It’s nice to see something a little less cookie cutter happening in this Natalya/Paige vs. The Bellas vs. Tyson Kidd deal, with Paige slapping Nattie’s troublesome spouse this week after he accidentally on purpose cost her the match. It would be nice to see the ladies get more than three minutes now and then, but it’s something at least.

THE wRong:
John Cena opens the show and The Authority are also there: I’m usually pretty tolerant of these opening in ring promos; the fact that they occur pretty much every week without fail is dispiriting but they’re usually performed competently enough, and the subject matter at least helps set the tone for the rest of the show. This week though I was just bored. It was essentially a regurgitation of last week’s finishing segment, as John Cena moped about losing his friends and The Authority mocked him for it. They gave him a chance to win their jobs back in a match with Seth Rollins, but stacked the deck with a Lumberjack match. And that was it, really! There were a few flashes of amusing smugness from HHH and Steph, but mostly this was just bland, killing time before the show had even properly begun by boring it to death.

Naomi vs. Alicia Fox: As usual with the Women’s division, two talented competitors are let down by apathetic booking. Naomi had to compete with one arm tied behind her back because the Usos annoyed the Authority on Smackdown. That stipulation is rapidly becoming a staple of the Women’s division, but just out of laziness, not because the ladies are especially good at performing it. Naomi and Alicia were given nothing to work with here.

Dean Ambrose’s Psychiatric Evaluation: Ambrose looked like he was having fun with this, but in reality I didn’t think this was all that hilarious. Here is a summary of the punchlines from these vignettes- Triple H reminds Ambrose of poop, Stephanie McMahon is sexually promiscuous, Hacksaw Jim Duggan exists and has a catchphrase that can facilitate jokes about Stephanie McMahon being sexually promiscuous, Ambrose is bafflingly fascinated by clocks. On top of that, the culmination of all these little segments was Dean making the psychiatrist have a mental breakdown and then laughing at him for it, which just made him seem like a bit of a cock, rather than edgy and untamable. These didn’t work anywhere near as well as the genuinely groundbreaking Dr. Shelby segments, and won’t do anything for Ambrose.

Roman Rains all over the concept of promos that don’t sound like they were written by a four year old child: Cast your minds back, if you we-eel, to the first episode of Main Event after Wrestlemania 30. It was headlined by an outstanding six man between The Shield and The Wyatt Family, a match which The Shield won emphatically to give them their first victory over their creepy nemeses. After the match was done, they all cut a promo in the ring, and Roman Reigns’ contribution was genuinely great- short, sharp, and cool as fuck. He mocked The Wyatts for calling him ‘faceless,’ and asked a blushing Renee Young whether he looked faceless to her. “WHAT’S MY NAME?” he barked to the crowd. “ROMAN REIGNS!” they responded unanimously. I thought I heard a catchphrase being born. The point is, Reigns is not a bad promo at all. He’s handsome, charismatic, and intimidating. What he is bad at is the kind of promos WWE are trying to get him to do- long promos, promos with childish jokes. His anti Big Show rant this week was cringeworthy, worse than the sure to be infamous ‘suffering succotash!’ one from Smackdown- after all, this wasn’t just one silly line, it was a full blown John Cena promo about The Big Show being a Giant and Reigns having some magic beans and just, ugh. Have they completely lost sight of why Reigns was so over in the first place? Has Vince McMahon really lost it so spectacularly? It was a dreadful effort this, dreadful. At least a decent match followed it, I guess.

The Ascension vs. Air Devils, or whatever: I’m fully in favor of reintroducing Scrub Squashing to Raw on a regular basis, but having The Ascension actively compare themselves to people like Demolition and The Powers of Pain makes the gimmick seem less like a fun callback and more like incredibly forced nostalgia. Also, having JBL criticize them so much is obviously going to do nothing for them.

Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev: After a series of lacklustre comedy vignettes, Ambrose was put in the ring with Rusev, who he chipped haplessly away at before his injured knee gave out and forced the referee to end the match. This is not booking fitting of someone who seemed like the next breakout star a couple of months ago. Even Daniel Bryan was booked better than this.

THE Ridiculous:
NOTHING

The 411:
Say what you want about this Raw, you can’t deny a lot of stuff happened on it; a contract signing, the return of Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose’s psychiatric evaluation and subsequent struggle with Rusev, Brock Lesnar was here, Cena, Rollins and Reigns all saw in ring competition… the thing is, not a whole lot of it was good. I liked the contract signing and Daniel Bryan’s comeback was an utter delight and the Reigns match had promise, but everything else had serious, often fatal, flaws. It’s a good job the build to the Triple Threat has been strong and the Royal Rumble match sells itself, otherwise this would be a pretty disastrous run in to the Rumble.

Show Rating: 5.0

As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…

0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

The 956th edition is over…