wrestling / TV Reports
TNA Destination X 2007 Breakdown
March 17, 2007 | Posted by
Destination X 2007
by J.D. Dunn
LAX gives Hector Guerrero the stinkeye on their way in. Hey! Non-Title. Let me get my wallet out. Team 3D attacks at the bell, but Homicide goes nuts on them. LAX hits a Wheelbarrow Slingshot move on Ray, and Hernandez hits D-Von with his no-hands over-the-top tope. Big pop for that, and that’s the problem with LAX – the fans realize that they are miles ahead of teams like Team 3D and VKM, so they have a hard time getting heel heat during matches. Homicide and Ray brawl into the crowd. Hernandez and D-Von follow, and then they switch off. The brawls spill back to ringside as the crowd gets a generous “this is awesome!” chant. Homicide hits a weak trashcan shot on D-Von but runs right into a powerslam. Hernandez sneaks in and hits his Two-Fisted Overhead Toss. Don West works in the adjective “wicked” for the third time in the match. Hernandez goes up, but Ray smashes his head with a trashcan and superplexes him back into the ring. Homicide gets in a rana, but Team 3D knocks him down and celebrates with a couple 3DWeisers. A bunch of members of the Latino Nation jump in and attack 3D as they set up the tables. Johnny Rodz runs down and clears the ring by himself! Wow, and the amazing thing is how that does not look at all ridiculous. Then again, I was doubled over laughing, so it might have looked ridiculous. I’m probably not the best witness. D-Von’s brothers come down for a rumble with the Latinos. So, are these all Ray’s half-brothers, or are they even doing that anymore? Team 3D hits a Doomsday Device on Homicide, but it only gets two. Alex Shelley runs down and clocks D-Von with his camera. Homicide puts D-Von on a table and allows Shelley to splash him off the top. Sadly, Shelley barely carries enough weight to break the table. That’s enough for the LAX win at 14:51. This would have been right at home in 1997, but this is 2007, and we’ve seen brawls that have a much more coherent narrative than this one. It wasn’t without its own Vince Russo “oh, and now it’s [insert name] doing the run-in” charm. **1/2
The faces dominate early as Gail yanks Jackie into the post and then ties her up and chops her in the chest. Storm uses the ref as a shield and cheapshots Williams. Storm hits The Eye of the Storm for two. He calls for a Canadian Destroyer (or maybe a Tennessee Destroyer), but Petey backdrops him over and goes to town on him. Tenay references David Crockett and screams “whip ‘im like a dawg!” Petey hits a sloppy Cradle DDT. Meh. I hate that move anyway. The chicks get back in and collide for a double KO spot. Petey avoids the superkick and signals for the Canadian Destroyer, but Jackie recovers long enough to get in a low blow. Storm finishes with the superkick at 7:55. Nothing stood out, either good or bad. *3/4
Starr attacks while Senshi is posing for the crowd. Senshi comes back with a pair of dropkicks and goes for the CFCW. He hits a Muta-ish elbow, but there are no pinfalls here. Starr avoids the splash and rakes Senshi’s back. He hits a Northern Lights and floats over into the CFCW attempt. Senshi keeps slipping out, so Starr slingshots his neck into the rope and goes for it again. He still can’t get it, so he hits the Pendulum Elbow. Mr. Bob Backlund saunters down to observe, distracting Starr on the top long enough for Senshi to hit a Kappou Kick. Senshi peppers Starr with kicks and springboards into a kick. Starr rolls through the CFCW, though. The Shining Wizard misses, but Senshi rebounds with a backkick to the head. Starr hits the corner dropkick, but Senshi rolls him away and hits a Gun Packet Dropkick. He goes up Starr shoves the ref into the ropes to crotch Senshi. Starr knocks him to the floor and hits a suicida at about Mach 3.0. Back in, Senshi knees out of the brainbuster and goes for the CFCW. Starr reverses, but Senshi fires off a series of palm strikes. Starr avoids a corner charge and locks in the CFCW. Backlund points out that Senshi’s feet are out of bounds, breaking the hold. If the only way the match can end is on a submission, what is the ref going to do — disqualify Starr? Starr says bad things to Backlund, so Senshi sneaks up and O’Connor Rolls him into the CFCW at 11:11. The stipulations stifled these guys, and I’m waiting for one of them to truly break out with a great performance. Certainly a good match, but not as good as they’re capable of. **1/2
VKM interrupts Christy’s introduction of her team, and Kip says real men wouldn’t work for a woman (okay, that was a funny inside joke). Hemme says she’s sick of Kip doing the same old routine and introduces…The Heartbreakers. And the crowd goes mild. I won’t go into too much play-by-play because it’s all just a lot of exhibitiony stuff, and Kip friggin’ James is the only one who really looks like he knows what he’s doing. The Heartbreakers try a doubleteam, but it backfires, and to make matters worse Romeo doesn’t even catch his own partner. Christy tries a lowblow on Kip, but he outsmarts her by wearing a cup and then shoving it into her face. Lance Hoyt walks down and drags Christy to the back. A normal-if-bland tag match follows with Kip playing misogynist-in-peril. The Heartbreakers miss Le Bomb de Rougeaux, allowing BG to tag in. VKM clear out one of the Heartbreakers, and BG finishes the other with a Pump-Handle Slam at 9:03. This was about what you’d expect from these guys. Christy comes out with a riding crop and berates her guys for losing. Ah yes. Sadomasochism. Russo will always have that. Look, you don’t necessarily need “good guys” and “bad guys,” but you do need the audience to be able to get behind one side or the other. Kip is an asshole, and Christy is too shrill to like. For something like this to work, both sides have to make good cases for why they think the way they do. This is like Andrew Dice Clay versus Roseanne Barr. Who could honestly justify rooting for either? Hopefully, the Heartbreakers are only a tease for Christy bringing in progressively better teams. Hey, Heidenreich and Animal aren’t doing anything. They could reunite the new LOD. *1/2
First Fall: Sabin gets in Lynn’s face, so Jerry hits a rana and a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker for two. He armdrags Sabin down. Something happens in the crowd, so they shut it down until security handles whatever it was. Sabin gets out of it, dropkicks Lynn to the floor and stops to argue with whoever was causing the distraction. Yeah, um, we’re not doing anything important here, Chris. You go off and do your own thing. We’ll wait. Sabin “hits” a flying elbow, and the crowd is still distracted, so Lynn wheelbarrows Sabin into the barrier. Lynn blocks a charge and spikes Sabin on his head with the Tornado DDT at 5:51.
Second Fall: Lynn takes Sabin to the floor and hits a springboard crossbody into the crowd. Back in, Sabin comes back with an enzuigiri and settles into a chinlock. Lynn avoids a charge and springboards into a sunset flip bomb for two. Lynn tries another rana, but Sabin counters to a powerbomb and puts his feet on the ropes for the win at 9:44.
Third Fall: Sabin tries a cocky springboard-stop-fistdrop, but Lynn avoids and hits a flying clothesline. Lynn blocks a rollup and gets two. A German Suplex gets two more. Sabin drops Lynn’s face on the turnbuckle and hits a Yakuza Kick. Cradle Shock only gets two. Sabin calls for the Cradle Piledriver (Lynn’s finisher), but Lynn counters to a Schwein. A crazy character in a Sting mask runs down to ringside and distracts the ref long enough for Sabin to go low and counter the Cradle Piledriver to the Cradle Shock at 13:26. The masked man gets in the ring and hits Sabin with the Angel’s Wings. Yep, it’s Christopher Daniels, making his return after two months off. He lays out Lynn too and gives him the Last Rites. Daniels looks pretty badass with the beard and the tattoo on his face. Count me as interested. This match was marred by the distracted crowd and the fact that they didn’t really do anything outside of stringing together moves until the finish. It really *was* like a 2002 X-Division match. **1/4
Basically, it’s a scaffold match with a more secure scaffold. AJ puts on some special Ronald McDonald gloves before the match. Rhino jumps him before they even get on top. AJ escapes and makes it to the top. Rhino is hesitant but eventually climbs up as well. AJ rocks the structure as all the women in the match freak out. Rhino clings to the scaffold and refuses to get to his feet, so AJ mocks him and spits on him. Oh, it’s on now! Rhino finally forgets he’s scared because he’s so pissed at AJ. That’s actually some great psychology and storytelling (for wrestling). Rhino fires away but loses his balance and falls onto the adjacent leg of the X. AJ takes a few shots at him, but he climbs down the side of the X to get better shots at him. That actually works in Rhino’s favor as he’s able to get in his own shots. Cool spot as AJ kicks Rhino in the face and hides inside the hollow structure. Rhino gets up but can’t find where AJ is. The fans try to help, but AJ squirms around and hides in another place. The fans finally get Rhino to the right place. Unfortunately, there’s no way to pay off the hunt, so AJ simply rakes Rhino’s eyes once he’s found. They each straddle part of the X and fire away at one another. AJ grabs a handful of hair and jams Rhino’s face into the paneling. He calls for the Styles Clash, but Rhino trips him up and pummels him. AJ hits a jawbreaker and grabs some powder in a nod to the Midnights/Rock ‘n’ Rolls match. Rhino knocks it back into AJ’s face and gores him. AJ falls off the panel and hangs over the side. Rhino stands over him for a minute, relishing his position, and then stomps on AJ’s fingers, sending him crashing to the mat at 9:15. I thought this was going to be horrible, but they played with the aspects of the structure and stipulations quite well. As with most scaffold matches, you can’t actually do much up there, so you have to find ways to do other things to get the crowd into it. For once, the crowd wasn’t doing dueling chants or anything “clever.” They were actually wincing with every near fall. Much better than I thought it would be. AJ has to be stretchered out. **3/4
This might have been a great match at one point. This is not that point. Steiner overpowers Angle and gets in his face, so Angle headbutts him. Steiner hits a chop, but Angle hits a belly-to-belly suplex and clotheslines Steiner out. Steiner avoids a baseball slide and smashes Angle’s face into the steps. Back in, Angle blocks a charge and fires away with punches. Steiner knocks him down and settles into a chinlock (which is pretty clearly a choke). They slug it out, and Angle hits the ROLLING GERMANS! Steiner slips out of the Angleslam and hits his own belly-to-belly. Angle hits the Angleslam anyway, but it only gets two. Steiner rolls through the Anklelock, a move that doesn’t make sense at this point in the match. Angle charges into the post in a spot that’s becoming clichéd in every fed in North America. A horribly loose Steiner Recliner allows Kurt to power up. This is getting sad. Steiner tosses him into the barrier and wants a countout, but Angle gets back in. Steiner mocks his taunt and hits Angle with his own Angleslam. Another bad Steiner Recliner allows Angle to counter to another Angleslam and the Anklelock. Steiner makes the ropes, but Angle yanks him back in. Steiner gets out of it anyway and sets Kurt on top. Kurt counters to a sunset flip off the top and gets the win at 11:43. Good lord, this was bad. With both guys’ matches with Joe in the past, I thought maybe they’d be able to string together a good match just from talent residue, but this was poorly executed, had no flow, no transitions, and little intensity considering the feud they had leading up to the match. Even the crowd, which normally appreciates everything, chants, “that was weak!” 3/4*
The “Last Rites” stipulations are basically a cross between a Casket Match and an Ambulance Match where you have to lock the guy in the “deathbed” and have it rise to the top of the arena. Sting attacks in the aisle, but Abyss comes back with a chairshot. The ring is decorated with cheesy tombstones and candelabra on the ringposts. Those come into play as Sting tries a Stinger Splash, but Abyss smashes a candelabrum over his head. What? That’s the singular! The fans chant, “fire Russo!” as the deathbed lowers. Sting does a huge bladejob, possibly in honor of Muta. Abyss sets up a tombstone (an actual one, not the piledriver), but Sting blocks his whip and reverses to a Scorpion Deathlock. Abyss taps, but it’s meaningless, so Sting puts the tombstone over his head and smashes the part that’s not on his head with a baseball bat. Well, the thought was there. He puts Abyss in the
Joe gets the dancing Samoan entrance, which is much cooler than skulking around with a towel around his neck. Well, he does that too, but at least they’re doing something cool. Joe casually fires off kicks to Christian’s leg and then steamrolls over him with a shoulderblock. Christian tries to escape, but Joe yanks him back in and kicks him in the chest. Christian tries a springboard Tornado DDT, but Joe just walks out of the way, allowing Christian to splat on the canvas. To the floor, Christian charges right into STJoe on the floor. Sick! Joe drags Christian up near the second tier and tosses him into the wall. He boots him right in the face, and Christian is so hapless that he’s drooling. Finally, about six minutes in, Christian DDTs Joe on the apron to get his first offensive move. Inside, Christian fires off a flying elbow and avoids the senton. Joe powers back with a Muscle Buster attempt, but Christian reverses to an inverted DDT for two. They exchange chops, and Joe cuts off a dive with an enzuigiri. Joe hits a corner knee and some mounted punches. Christian tries to counter to a powerbomb, but Joe holds on and stomps on his throat. The Facewash gets two. Lightning Legline by Joe! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! The snap powerslam gets two. A powerbomb gets two, and Joe segues into the Boston Crab, then into the STF, then into the Crippler Crossface. Christian turns against it, so Joe cinches in the Coquina Clutch, but by now they’re in the ropes. Christian counters another attempt to the Unprettier! ONE, TWO, THRE-NO! Christian tries a sleeper, but Joe squashes him and spears Christian off the apron. Christian tries to walk out, but the X-Division babyfaces toss him back in. ISLAND DRIVER! The ref is busy sending the X-Division guys to the back, though. He finally returns. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Joe goes for the dropkick but hits the ref! Christian rolls to the floor and grabs a chair, so when Joe tries the suicida, Christian is able to smash his head in. No ref, though, so Joe avoids a second swing and hits the Muscle Buster. The ref stirs. ONE, TWO, THR-NO! Christian goes low and heads up, but Joe catches him with a kick. Joe locks in the Coquina Clutch and drags Christian off. He falls to his back, but Christian is able to float over and put his feet on the ropes for the win at 17:41. I’m amazed that they let Christian have the (relatively) clean win there. Someone must have bound and gagged Vince Russo and locked him in a closet somewhere. They used the template from every Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger match from 1987-1991, and it worked well. Joe killed Christian in the fair fight, but Christian was able to use his cunning and cheat a little for the win. Neither man really looks bad as a result. Some people are calling this a MOTYC. I wouldn’t go that far, but it was pretty damned good and miles above everything else on the card. ****
The 411: Despite some of the “money matches” being disappointing, the main event delivered, and so did a few of the undercard matches. The general rule for a thumbs up is “three good matches and no bad matches.” Well, this had three good matches, but it also had loads of crap in there (much of it from their high-priced talent). Not only is it bad, but it’s bad in a way that is counterproductive to what they’re trying to do (as opposed to just wasting space). Still, the main event really delivered, so call it a thumbs in the middle leaning up. Just don’t expect too much from the usual suspects.
NULL
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