100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Storming the Castle

South Windsor, CT – 7.25.2015

Championship Rundown
Grand Champion: Hallowicked
Campeones de Parejas: The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive)
Young Lions Cup Champion: Heidi Lovelace

Commentary is provided by Mike Quackenbush, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Bryce Remsburg.

Challenge of the Immortals
Battle Hive (Amasis & Worker Ant) vs. Crown & Court (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)

Hijo does his dance, which inspires Amasis to do some breakdancing of his own. Hijo kicks him in the stomach upon finishing. He sunset flips Amasis for two. A Lucha sequence ends with a trio of armdrags and a dropkick from Amasis. He and Worker Ant double elbow Hijo into a double elbow drop, with a little hip swiveling in between. Worker Ant resists Jr.’s shoulder block attempt. Worker Ant ducks a clothesline and a crossbody attempt. He hoists up Jr. into a uranage slam. Once again the double elbow dance pays off. Hijo catches Amasis with a flying hip attack. Los Ice Creams mock the Battle Hive’s dancing and elbow drop, but miss the elbow drop. Jr. and Hijo accidentally hurt one another, causing Hijo to bail to the apron for a cry. Amasis and Worker Ant catch Jr. with a headbutt/kick to the stomach before assaulting him in the corner. Worker Ant spins Jr. into a flapjack for two. Amasis slaps Hijo and goes for a sunset flip. Hijo sits down on his chest to counter. They pick up Amasis and cradle toss him into the corner, leading to them isolating the Battle Hive leader from his partner. They do the cradle toss during their beatdown a second time with success. A third time, Worker Ant puts himself in Amasis’ way to block the blow. Amasis send Los Ice Creams into one another. He atomic drops Hijo into a Complete Shot and sends Jr. out with a 540 kick. Worker Ant tags in. He headbutts Hijo and slingshots Jr. back in. Hijo smacks Worker Ant in the face. Los Ice Creams try a tandem suplex, but Worker Ant suplexes them both simultaneously! Jr. rolls to the floor. Amasis knee strikes Hijo into Worker Ant’s GTS, giving him the pin at 12:09. Los Ice Creams added some new stuff into their offense, which as a nine year old act I appreciate. Need to keep things fresh. It also helps add some credibility to Princess Kimberlee’s proclamation that she “sees” something in the team. Amasis and Worker Ant also have good chemistry, making for a fun opening contest. **½

Argus vs. “Juke Joint” Lucas Calhoun

Kevin Condron is upset that they played Calhoun’s music instead of his. The Lithuanian Snow Troll is also out and is wearing Missile Assault Ant’s missile pack on his back, which he stole last month in Indianapolis. Calhoun tries a sneak attack, but Argus avoids it and grabs a courting hold. Calhoun headbutts his way free. Argus is whipped to the corner. He comes off the second rope with an armdrag and drop toe holds Calhoun into a one-armed Cattle Mutilation. Condron distracts the referee so the Troll can interrupt the submission. Calhoun drops Argus with the Snake Eyes in the corner and drives his head into the back of his knee. Calhoun drives his elbow into Argus’ neck. Calhoun delivers a running boot for two. He looks like he’s going to deliver a fisherman’s suplex, the magic move for the match, which Condron discourages him from doing. Argus escapes the hold, but Calhoun catches him with a knee strike and a rolling clothesline for two. Argus O’Connor rolls Calhoun after avoiding a corner attack. Calhoun turns an Irish whip into a knee strike to the stomach. Once again Condron stops him from landing a fisherman’s suplex. He transitions into the Shake, Rattle, and Roll. Condron is mad at Calhoun stating he is not a “parody” or “joke”, but rather his own man. Despite this, Calhoun mustered a two count from the move. He drops Argus with a Samoan drop. Argus catches Calhoun with a sole butt kick. He lands the fisherman’s suplex. The Troll distracts the referee from making a count. Argus forearms the Troll off the apron. Calhoun gives him the Rikishi Driver for the pin at 6:11. This was just a backdrop for Condron to be his obnoxious self, but it also was a nice platform for Calhoun to establish his arsenal and character. I’m never terribly excited for matches with that much peripheral noise, but for what they wanted to accomplish it was fine. **¼

Ophidian says as the captain of the Snake Pit, he made a conscious decision on whom he chose to team with. He thinks they should be at the top of the Challenge of the Immortals standings, but as of now they are stuck in the middle of the pack. Ophidian tries putting that out of his mind so he can focus on his match against the Batiri. Even though Eddie Kingston doesn’t show up to talk strategy or for promos, he knows when the bell rings, he will bring the fight.

Challenge of the Immortals
The Snake Pit (Ophidian & Eddie Kingston) vs. The Arcane Horde (Obariyon & Kodama)

Ophidian’s team represents the Snake Pit while The Batiri represent the Arcane Horde. Obariyon’s shoulder block has no effect on Kingston. Kingston blocks a hip toss and takes him over with a belly-to-belly suplex. He does the deal with a Falcon Arrow, yet Obariyon kicks out at one. After trading chops, Obariyon locks on a modified Octopus stretch. Ophidian tags in when Kingston backs to the corner, which Kingston does not seem appreciative of. Kodama and Ophidian engage in a test of strength, leading to Ophidian applying a Rings of Saturn on the mat. He floats over into a pin. Kodama works out into a front facelock. Ophidian negotiates into a cravate. Kodama flips out of it and flings Ophidian across the ring in a double wrist clutch. Ophidian takes him over in an armdrag. Kingston tags in. Kodama takes him to the Batiri corner. Although Kingston knocks Obariyon off the apron, Obariyon trips him and Kodama lands a slingshot stomp to his back. The Batiri work over Kingston in their half of the ring. Kingston is able to fend off some of their signature offense and finds himself tumbling to the floor when Obariyon only takes a small part of his running forearm. Ophidian takes Obariyon down with double knees off the top. He lights up Kodama with forearm strikes and nails a spinwheel kick. Kodama boots Ophidian but misses a second rope crossbody. Ophidian pump handles him into a gutbuster. In the corner he headstands into a double knee strike. Obariyon rolls Ophidian up for a Chaos Theory. Ophidian counters mid-move with a Duat Driver. Kodama breaks the pin with a Diamond Dust. The Batiri hit the Skull Bronzing. Kingston breaks up their pin attempt. He lights up both Batiri member with chops. The Batiri work together to cut him off. Kingston sends Obariyon to the floor and chops up Kodama in the corner. Kodama whips him across the ring. Kodama catches him coming in with a springback Ace Crusher. Ophidian pulls Kodama out and blasts him with a forearm strike. Obariyon German suplexes Kington and delivers a basement dropkick for two. Kingston cuts him off with an enzuigiri. He hits a Lariat to the back of neck and to the front. A 2k1 Bomb only earns a two count. He takes Obariyon to the apron. Obariyon fights him off. Kodama comes in and they hit Kingston with the Skull Bronzing, causing Kingston to fall to the floor. Ophidian grabs Kodama in a nerve hold and lands an enzuigiri. He goes for double knees but Kodama sends him to the apron. He muscles up Ophidian from the apron into a belly-to-belly suplex. Obariyon hits him with a running knee strike. Ophidian kicks out. Ophidian tries fighting off the Batiri but succumbs to Skull Bronzing himself. He also takes the Redrum, giving the Batiri the win at 14:31. The Batiri were at their best in this match, with Kodama especially looking really strong. It was a nice story of “formidable team” and “odd couple”, displaying the differences in the units. Some of the offense was redundant (3 Skull Bronzing’s?) but I still enjoyed this. ***

“Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti gives his partners (Dasher Hatfield, Icarus, and Heidi Lovelace) a pep talk. He knows they all haven’t done their best lately, but says they need to re-focus on the Challenge of the Immortals. Tonight they have the Gentleman’s Club, which he knows will do anything to become Immortal. He reminds Icarus that he was the one who brought CHIKARA back from the dead. He reminds Heidi Lovelace that she’s the Young Lions Cup champion. He reminds Hatfield that he could become Grand Champion tomorrow. Tonight, however, they set their sights on being a team. They put their hands together and proclaim “DUGOUT!” as they put their hands in the air.

Challenge of the Immortals
Dasher’s Dugout (The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield & “Mr. Touchdown” Mark Angelosetti), Icarus & Heidi Lovelace) vs. The Gentleman’s Club (Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy, Drew Gulak & The Swamp Monster)

Taylor and Hatfield start off. Taylor shoulder blocks Hatfield down after absorbing one from Hatfield. Hatfield sends him out with a double wrist clutch after some armdrags. Angelosetti comes off the apron onto him with a shoulder tackle. Icarus and Monster tag in. Monster takes him to the corner with a satellite headscissors. Icarus evades a corner attack and rolls him up for two. Gulak comes off the top with a chop, which Angelosetti catches in a lock-up. Gulak Judo throws Angelosetti and Angelosetti takes him over with a fireman’s carry. They aggressively look for a hold on the mat but they counter one another with great speed. After reaching a stalemate, Gulak armdrags Angelosetti and sends him to the floor with a neck drag. Icarus runs in and takes two armdrags. Hatfield takes the same fate. Lovelace is ready and drops Gulak with a backdrop driver! Cassidy comes in casually and asks her for a kiss. Lovelace chops him. He puts on his t-shirt preparing for more chops. Taylor jumps in and kicks Lovelace. She whips Taylor to the corner, chops Cassidy,m and forearms Taylor in the corner. Cassidy comes charging. Lovelace sends him into Taylor and they kiss. Taylor seems taken aback by this. Lovelace dropkicks Cassidy to the corner. Hatfield splashes Cassidy in the corner. He stops mid base running to knock Gulak off the apron. Cassidy drop toe holds Hatfield into the corner. After faking out a running dropkick from the floor, Taylor snaps his neck across the top. He does a slow slingshot senton. While he and Cassidy are arguing, Hatfield leaves the ring. The Gentleman’s Club hug. Icarus tries prying them apart. Gulak shoves them apart and boots Icarus hard in the chest. Icarus finds himself bullied by the Gentleman’s Club while Dasher’s Dugout encourages their partner. When Taylor sends Icarus to the ropes, Lovelace tags in. She comes in with a flying headscissors to send Taylor to the floor. She lights up Cassidy with a barrage of strikes. Taylor kicks Lovelace from the apron. Lovelace knocks him down and attacks Cassidy again. Gulak chops Lovelace down to the mat and twists her neck. She ducks Gulak’s strikes and gets in some forearms. She uses a headscissors to drive Gulak’s face into the middle turnbuckle. Cassidy fails to slam Lovelace. Taylor stomps on her back. He has the Swamp Monster hold onto her. Taylor goes for a strike, but Lovelace ducks. Monster is knocked off the apron and Lovelace takes Taylor down with a satellite headscissors. She tags in Angelosetti who knocks down Taylor, Cassidy, and Gulak with clotheslines. He catches Gulak with a running powerslam. He shoves Cassidy into the corner and whips both Icarus and Hatfield into him. Angelosetti brings Cassidy off the top with a delayed vertical superplex. Taylor stops the pin. Angelosetti drives him into the corner. Taylor cuts off his tackle with the Brodie Knee. Gulak bodyslams Angelosetti. Monster comes off the top with a double stomp! Angelosetti kicks out. Icarus drops down the top rope to send Taylor out. He sends Cassidy and Gulak into each other and suicide dives onto Taylor. Hatfield peppers Cassidy with punches. Cassidy cuts him off with a choke. He looks for a tandem chokeslam on the Throwbacks but they chop their way free. Cassidy spits orange juice into their faces and pulls off the double chokeslam! Cassidy smiles at Lovelace. Lovelace kicks Cassidy in the head and takes him over with the Heidicanrana for the pin at 15:47. This was so much fun, with all eight characters playing their roles perfectly. The exchange Angelosetti and Gulak had at the beginning was so awesome, and I really hope we get to see them in singles action sometime (they had a great match in Wrestling is Cool, by the way.) The Atomicos matches rarely fail to deliver, and this is just another example. Only complaint? Not enough Swamp Monster. ***½

Jakob Hammermeier compliments Jaka, saying he can stand toe to toe with anybody on the roster. Nøkken says Jaka is nothing but a feline. Jakob cuts him off and Nøkken apologizes. Jakob says he has a eye for talent and says nobody better forget it. He then sends Nøkken away.

Challenge of the Immortals
Jaka vs. Nøkken

Jaka represents the Wrecking Crew while Nøkken represents the BDK. Jakob Hammermeier is in Nøkken’s corner. The initial lock-up goes nowhere. Jaka’s chops are easily absorbed by the large Nøkken. Jaka does the same with Nøkken’s chops. Jaka ducks a couple of clotheslines and knee strikes Nøkken to the ropes. He throws some stomach shots and a spinning back chop. Nøkken sends Jaka to the corner and back elbows him twice before choking him on the middle rope. Jaka rakes his back and chops him to a different corner. He lays in some headbutts. Nøkken drives his shoulder into Jaka’s mid-section in the corner, then stomps him down and chokes him with his boot. Jaka slaps Nøkken as he tries charging into him. Jaka hops up to the second rope and Nøkken boots him to the floor. He sends Jaka shoulder first into a ring post. Nøkken backrakes Jaka thrice back inside the ring. Jaka fights back with chops. Nøkken cuts him off with a big boot. He drives Jaka shoulder first into the campus. He grabs his arm and walks the top rope into Old School. He picks up Jaka in a sleeper hold and swings him around. Jaka kicks out at one! Nøkken uses both hands to choke Jaka, trying to hold his shoulders on the mat. Jaka turns the choke into the Jaws of the Jaguar. Nøkken picks up Jaka. Jaka goes over his shoulders for sunset flip attempt. Nøkken sits down but Jaka moves. He kicks Nøkken down and drops a flash elbow for two. Nøkken smacks Jaka when Jaka gets him back to this feet. He splashes Jaka in the corner, sends him to the ropes and shoulder blocks him down. He uses one foot to pin Jaka. Hammermeier yells at Jaka to not underestimate him. Jaka superkicks Nøkken as he comes to the corner. Hammermeier tries a sneak attack and gets knocked down. Jaka drops down the top rope to send Nøkken tumbling to the floor. Jaka comes off the top with a crossbody onto both men. In the ring, Jaka misses a T’Challa Kick. He does however take Nøkken over with a belly-to-back suplex and splashes him in the corner. He lands an enzuigiri. He dropkicks Nøkken for two. Nøkken suplexes Jaka into a stunner. He bicycle kicks Jaka for two. Hammermeier throws a chair into the ring to distract the referee. Hammermeier tries hitting Jaka with his haymaker but accidentally nails Nøkken! Jaka follows up with a T’Challa kick, giving him the win at 12:02. I liked the hard hitting action these two brought. It made sense for their characters and made Nøkken look stronger than he has previously, showing what he can do when his power is matched. It may have been a bit on the longer side, but was fun. **¾

Challenge of the Immortals
Silver Ant vs. Juan Francisco de Coronado

Silver Ant represents the Nightmare Warriors while Coronado represents the United Nations. Silver Ant shoves Coronado. Coronado grabs a side headlock, which Silver Ant back suplexes his way out of. He twists up Coronado’s wrist, which Coronado turns into a side headlock. Silver Ant applies a headscissors on the mat. Coronado escapes, but Silver Ant takes him down in a side headlock. Coronado pulls at his mask and rolls him over with a pin. Once more Silver Ant brings him down in the side headlock. Coronado turns it into a headscissors. Silver Ant gets to his feet and suplexes Coronado for two. Silver Ant catches him with a schoolboy going under a leapfrog. Coronado rolls to the floor when Silver Ant looks for a Fujiwara armbar. In the ring, Coronado forearms Silver Ant in the corner and rakes his face across the top rope. Silver Ant avoids a corner attack. Coronado tries to recover with a crossbody, but Silver Ant catches him in a Fujiwara armbar. Coronado slides back out to the floor. Silver Ant chases him back in. Coronado misses a legdrop. Silver Ant chops him in the corner. He goes to the top rope. Coronado puts referee Jon Barber in the way, giving him time to trip Silver Ant off the top rope, causing Silver Ant’s shoulders and back to collide with the top turnbuckle. He back suplexes Silver Ant for two. He also gets two with a side slam before whipping Silver Ant violently to the corner. Coronado tries charging, but Silver Ant swings into him with a tiger feint kick. Coronado sends Silver Ant to the apron. Silver Ant headbutts him and comes back in with a double springboard DDT. After a failed seatbelt pin, Silver Ant divorce courts Coronado’s arm into the apron. A strike exchange ends with an antzuigiri from Silver Ant. Coronado catches his dropkick attempt and puts on a Boston Crab. Silver Ant escapes. Coronado lands a dropkick for two. He forearms Silver Ant in the upper back twice. A lariat also earns a two count. Coronado digs his knee into Silver Ant’s back while outstretching his arms. Silver Ant escapes but eats a clothesline for two. Silver Ant grabs the arm. Coronado spins around and goes for a Tiger Driver. Silver Ant counters with a headscissors. He dropkicks Coronado in the side of the head from the apron and suckers him into a knee strike to the face. Coronado hits the floor and Silver Ant suicide dives after him. In the ring Silver Ant lands a top rope dropkick. He lands a Blue Thunder Bomb and converts into a cross armbreaker. Coronado escapes and successfully pulls off the Tiger Driver. Silver Ant kicks out and reapplies the cross armbreaker. Coronado turns it into the Coronado Clutch. Silver Ant grabs his leg and pulls him forward into the Fujiwara armbar. Coronado rolls Silver Ant onto his shoulders and goes back to the Coronado Clutch. Silver Ant rolls forward to get a nearfall. Coronado takes him over with a German suplex. Silver Ant grabs a kimura lock. Coronado gets the ropes. Coronado sneaks in a knee to the groin! He German suplexes Silver Ant for the pin at 17:10. While this had a good story, it dragged after a while and had a pretty crummy finish. It seems like the story they want to tell with Silver Ant is that on paper he’s the “weak link” in the Nightmare Warriors, when in reality it’s been due to illegal tactics. While fine in theory, it can potentially hamper matches, as was the case here. This was a real solid effort by both combatants but could have been a tighter overall package. ***

Sidney Bakabella says they have a night off as they defend Los Campeonatos de Parejas against a sweetheart and a broad. He says the Dev Corp said they’re going to slap that broad back to the kitchen and Jervis into a mean streak. That, you can take to the pay window.

Campeonatos de Parejas
The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster & Blaster McMassive) vs. Princess Kimberlee & Jervis Cottonbelly

Sidney Bakabella is in the Dev Corp’s corner. During the announcements, the Dev Corp sneak attack Kimberlee and Cottonbelly by McMassive whipping Smashmaster into both of them. Smashmaster splashes him in the corner and McMassive drops him with the Boss Man Slam. McMassive gives him a sit-out powerbomb to score the first pinfall in 0:52. They toss Cottonbelly to the floor. She valiantly throws chops at both Dev Corp members, but her effort is all for naught. They easily pummel her to the mat. The Dev Corp mock Kimberlee as they take turns wearing her down. She almost escapes by evading an attack from McMassive, but Smashmaster cuts her off with a dropkick. Besides, Cottonbelly is still recovering. The same thing happens when she gets a moment to set back Smashmaster with some strikes and looks to tag out. Smashmaster drags her back to his corner for a back senton and a legdrop from McMassive. Bakabella gives Cottonbelly some shots for good measure. Kimberlee manages to catch McMassive a spin kick. She looks distressed with no Cottonbelly in sight. She’s brought back to the Dev Corp corner but fires up with forearm strikes. She knocks Smashmaster to the floor. She ducks McMassive’s clothesline and suicide dives onto Smashmaster! Cottonbelly is still down, so instead of “tagging” in, McMassive brings her up to the top turnbuckle. She counters his belly-to-belly superplex with a powerbomb. Kimberlee folds up McMassive in the Alligator Clutch, tying the match at one fall a piece in 8:30. The Dev Corp and Bakabella are beside themselves. McMassive slaps Kimberlee in the face. Angry, Cottonbelly comes in and gets in McMassive’s face. McMassive slaps Cottonbelly, causing him to fire up. He unloads with forearm strikes and clotheslines McMassive to the floor. He grabs Smashmaster’s hand and runs the rope for a DDT. Smashmaster kicks out. Cottonbelly puts on the Downton Lock. He applies a leg scissors to prevent Smashmaster from getting the ropes. Bakabella draws Bryce Remsburg’s attention away just as Smashmaster taps. Cottonbelly releases the hold and punches Bakabella. McMassive holds onto Cottonbelly. Smashmaster accidentally collides with his partner. Cottonbelly schoolboys Smashmaster but only for a two count. Kimberlee and Cottonbelly double boot Smashmaster. Cottonbelly airplane spins him into a German suplex from Kimberlee! McMassive breaks her folding press. McMassive kicks her out of the ring and double axe handles Cottonbelly’s back. The Dev Corp hit the Death Blow for third and final fall at 12:28. In terms of a story, this was fantastic. The crowd lived and died with the underdogs and roared whenever they had the advantage. It also continued with the theme of Kimberlee being the strong member of team and Cottonbelly as the one who takes the fall. Like the Atomicos match, everybody played their role perfectly and took the crowd on an enjoyable ride from start to end. ***¼

Like last month, CHIKARA presents the crowd with an encore match.

Fire Ant vs. Shynron vs. Frightmare vs. The Proletariat Boar of Moldova vs. Oleg the Usurper vs. Missile Assault Ant

The contestants enter at random intervals from the back. Fire Ant cascades up Missile, but Missile counters with a Northern Lights suplex. Fire Ant maneuvers into Burning Down the House. Boar sneaks in with a big boot to Fire Ant. He muscles him into a bodyslam for two. Missile and Boar stomp him down in the corner. Oleg jumps in with a Usurper Kick to Missile and then to Boar. He picks up speed off the ropes and splashes Boar. He then splashes Missile. Frightmare comes off the top with a dropkick to Oleg’s back. He yakuza kicks Oleg in the corner. Fire Ant cuts him off and drives his knee into his face. Frightmare backflips into a neckbreaker. He hits the Here It Is Driver. Oleg breaks up the pin. Boar and Frightmare stomp on Fire Ant while Missile kicks down Oleg in the corner. Shynron sweeps out Missile’s legs. He takes down Boar and slingshots in. He hops over Boar and Frightmare and then back handsprings into tandem Ace Crusher’s. Shynron then flies out onto Missile on the floor. Shynron enzuigiri’s Frightmare, then Boar. He takes Frightmare over with a belly-to-belly suplex. Boar looks to stop the pin but elbow drops Frightmare by accident. Shynron dropkicks Boar in the side of the head. He goes for a Spirit Bomb but is cut off by Missile. Frightmare and Boar keep Oleg and Fire Ant at bay while Missile gives Shynron a Rocket Launcher. Boar then spears Shynron. Frightmare lands Kneecolepsy. Oleg and Fire Ant break up the pin. Oleg and Boar exchange strikes. Boar boots him, so Oleg splashes him against the ropes. Boar slams Oleg off of his shoulders. Fire Ant blasts Boar with the Yahtzee Kick. Frightmare enzuigiri’s Fire Ant twice. Fire Ant responds with one of his own. Missile accidentally boots Frightmare. Fire Ant spikes Missile with a tornado DDT. Oleg hits Off With His Head on Missile. Shynron then connects with the Spirit Bomb onto Missile for the pin at 6:44. That was a super fun sprint and provided the kind of exciting action that these encore matches should. **¾

Challenge of the Immortals Leaderboard
The Wrecking Crew: 7 Points
The Nightmare Warriors: 5 Points
Dasher’s Dugout: 5 Points
The Snake Pit: 4 Points
Battle Hive: 4 Points
The Arcane Horde: 4 Points
The United Nations: 4 Points
The BDK: 3 Points
The Gentleman’s Club: 2 Points
Crown & Court: 2 Points

7.0

The final score: review Good

The 411

This was a rock solid show with not one bad match and some really fun ones. The main event had some good emotion and the Atomicos match was a whole lot of fun. Definitely pick up those two, but I think the whole show is a good, fun watch.