wrestling / Columns
The Wrestling 5&1: Sasha Insults The Attitude Era?, Congratulating Kevin Owens, More
Hello you self-indulgent sycophants! Oh wait, that’s me. Anyway, it’s been a great two weeks, filled with compelling storylines and over-the-top ridiculousness…and that’s just behind the bar! As for wrestling, well, something seems to be lacking. Let’s see if we can find it within the confines of The Wrestling 5&1. The welcome back was astounding and I love you all for it. To those that disagree, I implore you to say why, and not just call this column “stupid.” Firstly, you’re no Chris Jericho, and lastly, it deteriorates your argument almost immediately. WE are better than that.
So for those that don’t know how this column worked in the past, it’s ok. This is a new take on an old format. It used to be that we (Greg DeMarco and I) would take four to five little newsbites that interested us and harp on them for a while. Due to the nature of 411mania, and what it has become, however, I have only just altered this. True, the spots will be based off of news around the wrestling world, but opinions will lay heavy. And, as expected and yearned for, LADIES will be much involved. My hope is that the focus is more on the writing than the boobs, but as many of you can attest, you come for the words and stay for the GIFs, and damnit, I’m ok with that.
FIVE
Sasha Insults The Attitude Era?!
Ok, so this might be a little outdated, but it’s something that’s stuck with me for a while now. At the beginning of this month, Sasha Banks came to the ring looking as hot as ever to pull the ol Mark Henry on us and tease a possible retirement. Watching above, she namedrops some classic names like Mae and Moolah to Trish and Lita. She continually calls them women, and talks of a revolution of change. She brings up her July 13th debut along with Charlotte and Becky, and immediately after, she says
“no more bra and panties matches. No more STUPID butterfly title. We did it. We finally became what we deserved all along – to be called Superstars.”
I admit, while watching this, there was that familiar feeling that comes about when I feel like whoever is speaking is speaking from the heart. It happened with people like Punk, like Daniel Bryan – there’s just this weight, and I felt it with Sasha. True, her delivery was somewhat stilted, and her syntax left much to be desired, but I felt something that I think is all but lost in most wrestling promos – passion. To my surprise, however, I may have been one of the few to find this, because almost immediately after, there was an outcry of anger and disdain towards Sasha. From Joe Blow in his basement to Vince Russo (and some could argue those are the same people), people were upset claiming that Sasha put down an entire legacy of women’s wrestling. Russo took to Twitter, as most do, to defend his Man Card and claims of booking bra and panties matches to win a war. Fans wondered where the mention of Chyna was in this list of great women wrestling. People were upset.
Now like I said, this was nearly a month ago, and since then, the smoke has somewhat blown over, but there is something to be said about the idea that Sasha “disrespected” an entire time period of female wrestling. But the point that really gets me is the fact that WE HAVE ALL BEEN DOING THE SAME THING FOR YEARS!!!! She didn’t say anything we didn’t feel. Who here LIKED the Butterfly title? Who here WANTED more Divas Search Segments? Who – as a fan – yearned for Dawn Marie to get it on with Torrie Wilson’s dad just one more time before that heart attack? Who? WHO!??
Look, the era of Bra and Panties matches was booked for a different fan base, and I’ll be a damned liar if I didn’t watch Torrie Wilson make out with Sable like 300 times in my youth. Lord, do not get me started on my walls as a teenager, plastered from left to right with Stacy Keibler. And of course, lets not forget the immense “love” I have for AJ Lee. I should be the last person defending femininity in wrestling, but to hear Sasha speak of a maturation of women in wrestling meant something huge to me. Something bigger than I think most people realize, and that’s the fact that WE – the fans. The MEN that love this product, have also matured!
We, the former 13 year old pervs that would change the channel when mom walked in because Trish was barking like a dog. We, the lovers of a woman eating a pie with her ass. We have matured, guys. We, just like the women wrestlers, have demanded something more. We don’t want vapid. We don’t want bimbos. We don’t want tits and ass. We’re older now, we can find that anywhere. We want WRESTLING, and so did Sasha Banks. So did Bayley. To lambast Sasha for “disgracing” the ugliest title outside of Jeff Hardy’s purple travesty is a step back. I loved every word she said, and although the very obvious bait and switch was somewhat cheesy, I felt the pride she held in saying that she is a part of a revolution that took a HUGE step back years ago.
Oh yes, Sasha…We did it. Thank you for including US in that.
Your Turn: Was Sasha Banks out of line with her “Bad News” promo?
FOUR
Congratulations Kevin Owens
I was going to take this time to review Clash of Champions but seeing as I reviewed Backlash in the previous edition, I learned that as long as this is a bi-weekly column, I’ll be reviewing a PPV per column. That could get pretty stagnant. Suffice to say, there will be no review of CoC, but let me just tell you that it felt a bit lacking to me.
One man who lacks nothing, however, is the great Kevin Owens. Consider this an ode to a man who continues to break molds and kick ass. I first met and saw Kevin Owens wrestle at a PWG show in Reseda, CA. Under the name of Steen, he was a foul-mouthed, beer-stealing Canadian who I knew nothing about. My friend Michael Ornelas told me to get ready for a treat, because this guy was IT. What? IT! I remember vividly sitting next to a man with sweaty, red hair. He had a pitcher of Bud Light in his hand, and he drank directly from it. He was boisterous, and pounded the apron while Steen’s music hit. This guy, along with the entire crowd, chanted and pounded. STEEN! STEEN! STEEN! STEEN! Kevin came out, and I was, admittedly, taken aback. His look was not what I expected. His arrogance and heel attitude was ever-apparent, yet this entire fucking crowd was POUNDING the mat! Steen got into the ring and pointed towards some masked guy near the announce table. A red beard poked out of the bottom of the mask, and he stood staring at Steen. They didn’t wrestle that night, but it was my first introduction to El Generico and Kevin Steen.
Anyway, fast forward to after a ridiculous match full of bad assery, Steen won me over. I couldn’t believe how awesome he was. The little things guys, that’s what matters most of the time, and that’s what he was the king of. Steen in that ring owned it. It wasn’t long before I saw him again, but this time Ornelas informed me that this would likely be his last match in PWG, because rumors were circulating that he was heading to the WWE. Again, the entire room was electric. Everyone seemingly knew what I did not, and as a man walked around handing out rolls of streamers to random fans, I suddenly understand that I was going to be a part of something huge. Superkicks everywhere, and 30 minutes later, this man stood in the center of the ring covered in colored paper. He was in tears, and he thanked everyone. The masked man he hated was nowhere to be seen, rumored to have traveled to Mexico for orphans. I stood on my feet along with everyone else, and this time I wasn’t a spectator, I was a fan, just like that red-headed, beer-chugging son of a bitch, I was a fan.
Seth Rollins recently fought Finn Balor in a star-making performance for Balor, and a full-fledged proof-filled moment that the WWE was serious about the next generation of superstars. It was beautiful. Then we learned that Finn was legit injured, and he would be forced to drop the title. Admittedly, I assumed the WWE would freak out and return to the status quo. There were signs of this, even. But no, the WWE did something magical. Something beautiful. Something outrageous. They gave the title to Owens. Sure, people freaked out that this win was made to be about Triple H, and that Owens didn’t need his help, and any other stupid comment about how badly it looked for Owens to win the way he did, but I was nothing but proud. In just a short amount of time, I saw this man in an American Legion in one of the dumpiest cities of California with streamers around his waist and tears in his eyes turn into a man in front of thousands, being watched by a million eyes, with the biggest title in the industry around his waist. From streamers to championships, this man has grown, and we have watched him do it.
Congratulations, Kevin.
THREE
FILLER TIME!!!
Whenever I feel like the column is getting a bit wordy, I’ll likely take one to two of the points and make them very obviously filler. Want proof? Ok.
TWO
PHX WRESTLING: ARE YOU READY?
As a fan, I try my best to watch as much wresting as possible. I am not, nor will I ever be, to the level of Larry Csonka. Seriously, he watches hours upon hours – and he does most of it for you guys. Still, I try my best to get a hold of the smaller indy feds and wrestlers. In fact, at one point, I was helping run a federation. I did the entrances, I even did ring announcing, and eliminated someone from a Battle Royal. Oh yes, your little writer at 411 that you love to hate has some actual experience. I, however, am not the only one, and the man who brought me to the dance Greg DeMarco has created a world that you must see to believe.
PHX Wrestling is based out of Pheonix, AZ, and their first show was just a month ago. Wrestlers, some who I’ve known for some time, and others who I’ve just met, went at it in front of a packed house, and I was not disappointed.
Their next show is quickly approaching, and I implore you – if you’re in the area, please check it out. It doesn’t disappoint, and I get no perks for shilling this. I simply love the product, love the wrestling – and wrestlers – and love Greg DeMarco.
PHX Wrestling presents: STRAIGHT OUTTA PHEONIX
RISE was a historic event in many ways, one of those being the second half of the double main event. That match was the first ever King Of The PHX Qualifying Match, and saw Alexander Hammerstone defeat Ricky Starks in a battle proving just how prestigious January’s tournament will be.
On October 1 at Straight Outta PHX, four men will have a chance to grab a spot in the tournament, as Willie Mack fights Mike Camden and Aydan Colt battles The Hawaiian Lion for spots in the King Of The PHX.
And for each individual, there is a lot on the line when they step into the ring at The World Famous Nile Theater…
Credit- Henry Black, Staff Writer of PHX Wrestling
ONE
Caption Contest
Last week, we saw this weird ass face-swap, and some of you guys took it to task. Unfortunately, there can be only one, and this week’s winner is…
JSAWYER80: You know how pets and their owners start to look like each other…..
Be sure to comment your captions for this week’s contest. Here is the image!
So it looks like the AND1 is here to stay! You guys voted, and as much as I would have rather it be gone, it would be sorely missed. With that being said, let me dig deep into my bag of GIFs and see if we can’t find a nice little….