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The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Donald Trump

March 18, 2019 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
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The 411mania Douchebag of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

For the last few months, when I don’t have other stuff going on on Saturday nights (you know, work, shit to write, recorded new shows that I haven’t watched yet) I’ve been watching both three hour blocks of Hunter and Hill Street Blues on the Heroes and Icons Channel. I remember actively watching Hunter back in the day when it was still a current show on NBC, but I don’t remember watching Hill Street Blues. Both shows are awesome in their own ways.

HunterDVDcase

Hunter is your “standard” cop show, with two detectives investigating a new case every week (unless there’s a two part episode). The cops, played by ex-football player Fred Dryer and Stephanie Kramer, have shockingly good chemistry. The cases they investigate are fairly standard for this type of show, but there’s a real edge to the way some of the cases are portrayed. And the show has a kick-ass opening theme. Remember when all TV shows had some sort of opening theme?

HillStreetBlues

Hill Street Blues is an excellent ensemble cop show that was ahead of its time. The show, as far as I can tell, never really had any big deal stars, but it is populated with terrific character actors, some of them still working in TV today (like Joe Spano, who has a recurring role on NCIS). While the basic structure of the show is each episode takes place over one day in the lives of the cops, the show is not a “case of the week” type show like Hunter. It’s something else entirely. It has a large cast, ongoing stories, and more often than not you need to watch every episode to understand what the hell is going on. Hill Street Blues was a “streaming show” before there was such a thing as a “streaming show.” It’s goddamn brilliant. You can see, after only a few episodes, why the show was nominated for and won so many Emmy’s during its seven seasons on NBC (it was voted the Best Drama four straight years).

Hill Street Blues also had a wonderful opening theme, very different than what a show like Hunter had but still awesome in its own way.

Why can’t today’s broadcast networks do a show like Hill Street Blues? It’s edgy, adult, deals with “issues” and whatnot, and is excellent drama. Why could NBC do this kind of show in the fucking 1980’s but can’t do it now? Is it a lack of vision? Laziness?

And now onto this week’s Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag

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This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2018 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United States Donald Trump, for his absolutely disgraceful comments when asked to comment on the terrorist attack in Christchurch, New Zealand. When asked to comment on the global threat of “white nationalism” after the events in New Zealand, where a heavily armed white nationalist piece of shit shot up two mosques, killing 49 people and injuring many more, all President Trump had to do was say something along the lines of “racism is terrible no matter where it shows up, and racist violence is abhorrent to civilized society. The United States condemns, in the strongest possible terms, any sort of hate filled killing, and we stand with the people of New Zealand in this difficult time.” It’s the easiest thing for a world leader to say. And, once again, President Trump couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t.

Instead of saying the right thing, the President instead said that he didn’t think “white nationalism” was a problem, that what happened in New Zealand was the work of a small group of people who “have some serious problems, I guess.”

Not a problem. Just a few people. Not that big of a deal.

Is he out of his mind? In one sense, I guess I can’t be surprised by the President’s lame as fuck response to the attack in New Zealand. He thought that there were “very fine people on both sides” during the racist march in Charlottesville. If he couldn’t outright condemn, in the strongest possible terms, the fucking lunatics who were marching around and yelling “Jews will not replace us!,” why would he then condemn a piece of shit who killed a bunch of people who were praying in their place of worship? And it’s not like the killer was “brown,” like the Muslims who have killed people in terrorist attacks in Europe and in the United States.

Wait a second! Isn’t that assessment unfair and hysterical? Didn’t the President call the attack in New Zealand terrible? Yes, the President did call the attack terrible, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the right thing. He couldn’t condemn white nationalism, which is a terrorist ideology just as lethal and terrible as Islamic terrorism/extremism, and, well, any other extremist ideology that has taken up arms against the civilized world and decided it’s a good idea to go out and kill people. The President may think that “white nationalists” are a part of his political base and he can’t say anything bad about his base since he needs them for reelection, but that’s just insane. White nationalists like the killer in New Zealand are pure evil and need to be stopped.

And, shit, didn’t we just go through a whole “national conversation” about anti-Semitism and how terrible that is? Didn’t the President ultra-right wing friends in the media lose their minds over the anti-Semitic remarks made a Congressperson from Michigan, a Muslim woman? Why yes, yes they did. Why aren’t they losing their minds now over the President’s lack of conviction against a racist killer? White nationalists don’t like “brown people,” and they sure as fuck don’t like Jews, either.

Why can’t the President just do the right thing once? Why is it so hard for him to say the right thing at the right moment when it counts? Why is this so fucking impossible for him?

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

– Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2018 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United StatesDonald Trump, for essentially issuing a threat of violence against his political opponents if his “followers” are “provoked.” What President of the United States does this kind of thing? And why would a President do this? Is he unaware that everything he says is going to be examined for what it means? Is he really threatening violence? What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

-Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2018 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United StatesDonald Trump, for once again attacking the late Senator John McCain. Because that doesn’t look petty and ridiculous at all. I know, I know, someone in McCain’s office apparently shared “the dossier” with the FBI and “the media” and that’s just so damn awful (except it isn’t). Again, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

-Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2018 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United StatesDonald Trump, for once again threatening legal action against Saturday Night Live for criticizing him. Look, Mr. President, you’re the fucking President. You are in the news constantly. SNL makes fun of what’s happening in the news. The show has been doing it for decades. So, the show is going to criticize you, satirize you, and make fun of you. People can do that in the United States. Accept it, suck it up, and start worrying about more important shit.

I’m tired of having to ask this again and again, but what the fuck is wrong with this guy? What?

-Talk radio show host, Douchebag Hall of Famer, and drug addict Rush Limbaugh, for his recent claim that the New Zealand terrorist attack was a “false flag” incident. Yes, the white nationalist terrorist piece of shit that killed 49 people was really a “leftist” who concocted this massive scheme to make people think he’s a right wing terrorist killer. Makes all the sense in the world. Jesus Christ. When are ultra-right wing commentators going to stop this “false flag” shit? And at what point do people realize that false flag claims are, by and large, total nonsense and complete fucking bullshit?

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