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The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Kevin Spacey

December 31, 2018 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Kevin Spacey House of Cards

The 411mania Douchebag of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

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Did you know that the Starz Encore Classic channel is going to have a Knight Rider marathon for New Year’s and then is set to air the show daily? I had no idea that was going to happen until I started flipping through my on screen cable guide and saw that the premium movie channel, which has been airing old TV shows the last few years in addition to its usual old movies, will have a 24 hour Knight Rider marathon starting at midnight (right after the ball drops in New York City). That’s just so damn cool.

I was bummed when the El Rey stopped airing Knight Rider reruns a few months ago. Yes, I’ve seen every episode multiple times in my life, but I still enjoyed watching the show when it was on. It was nice to have the show on in the early morning, especially when TBS stopped airing Married… with Children in the early morning. And now, odds are good, too, that Knight Rider will be available via Starz Encore On Demand, so I can then watch it any time I want to.

I can’t help it. I’m a Knight Rider nerd. I still think it’s a great show that could work again if done correctly (just like the old show, just updated a bit). Since nostalgia is still a thing, it could happen, I guess. The 2008 series didn’t do well, but then the people involved in that tried to reinvent the show when, again, all it really needed was some updating/tinkering. I do remember reading something somewhere that Justin Lin was involved in doing something with the property, and James Gunn was interested, too. I don’t think anything ever really happened with either of those, but, again, nostalgia is still a big deal. A new Knight Rider could happen any day now.

So who plans on checking out the Knight Rider marathon on the Starz Encore Classic channel?

And now onto this week’s Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag

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This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to disgraced award winning actor Kevin Spacey for releasing that weird goddamn video to YouTube on Christmas Eve. The video, which Spacey released via his own YouTube page (or channel or whatever the hell it’s called) and is titled “Let Me Be Frank,” is three seriously uncomfortable minutes of Spacey, presumably in character as his House of Cards character Frank Underwood, talking to the camera and being creepy as fuck. And no one knows what the hell he’s talking about, either as Spacey or as Underwood. Spacey hasn’t said, publicly, what the point of the video is. Various news agencies have tried to contact Spacey’s lawyers and “people” and, as of me writing this, no one has said what the video is actually about. It’s just out there, on the internets, freaking people out.

Because, really, what the hell is Spacey doing here? Is he getting in one more “scene” as Underwood, sort of goofing off because he’s got nothing else going on in his life (well, besides all of the sexual harassment allegations and criminal investigations and whatnot)? Is he making multiple veiled threats against people he believes threw him under the bus when the harassment allegations came out? Is he getting ready to expose people for their transgressions, people in power (just go anywhere on the internets and you’ll find tons of people speculating that Spacey is getting ready to “reveal the truth” about Hollywood’s pedophile rings, the “Pizzagate Conspiracy,” some sort of British Royal scheme that has something to do with the coffee cup he uses in the video)? That all sounds like bullshit, but at the same time, just what is this goddamn video? What is Spacey’s big scheme here?

The video is captivating, no question about it. The video isn’t necessarily good, but once you start watching it it’s hard to stop. The world hasn’t seen or heard from Spacey since the various allegations leveled against him back in 2017 came out, and then, about one year later, he sends out this video. Now, there’s another theory out there that Spacey released this video to somehow counteract his upcoming arraignment in a Nantucket court on charges that he sexually assaulted a teenager in a bar in 2016. I’m not sure if I believe that, either. I have a feeling that the video is, in the end, just Spacey testing the waters to see if people want to see him act again. I don’t think anyone necessarily wants to see him, but if he does put something out there, people will end up watching it anyway. At the moment, it’s all just a big freak show, and people love that kind of thing.

If Spacey is innocent of the allegations made against him, it probably would have been best for him to not say anything at all, to let his lawyers and public relations people defend him in court and in the public arena, and wait to come back into the spotlight once all of the heat died down. But that’s if he’s innocent, and, with the number of allegations against him from all over the world, not to mention the Nantucket video of Spacey assaulting this male teen, what are the odds that this is all just one big misunderstanding?

Yeah. Sure. That seems plausible. People from different places, different years, all essentially saying the same thing. Just a big coincidence.

Was Spacey a good actor? A great actor? Absolutely. He was usually good or great in everything he did. I thought he was great in See No Evil, Hear No Evil, with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder, and he was a fairly decent Lex Luthor. But none of that shit matters anymore. Spacey has been credibly accused of multiple heinous acts and he needs to answer for them. He doesn’t deserve a “comeback.” He deserves nothing more than relentless condemnation, and it would be best for the world if he just answered for his crimes and disappeared. Will that happen? We’ll just have to wait and see how it all plays out.

And stop releasing YouTube videos sans any sort of context. The world is a creepy enough place without them. The world doesn’t need more of that kind of thing.

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

-Douchebag Hall of Famer, 2017 Douchebag of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United StatesDonald Trump, for pretty much everything that he’s said, done, and allowed to happen in the last week. From the ongoing government shutdown to the stock market fluctuations to that call he took from that kid about Santa and so much more, the President just couldn’t do anything right last week. And it doesn’t look like he’s going to be able to “fix” any of it by the time 2019 shows up. Why can’t he just slow down, take a breath, and start from scratch and stop the bullshit?

-Pro basketball star Lebron James for his “Jewish money” Instagram post. James claims that he was just quoting song lyrics, that he meant no harm by the lyrics, and that he thought he was doling out some sort of “compliment.” That could be all true, but at the same time, James didn’t grasp that “Jewish money,” in just about every context, sounds awful and racist and anti-Semitic? There was no flicker of an instance in his mind that, maybe, posting “Jewish money” is a bad idea?

Glee actor Jesse Luken, for his recent DUI arrest in California. Luken was the only one involved in the incident (he crashed his car), but, Jesus, when will people figure out that it’s not a good idea to get shitfaced drunk and then go driving? How many times does the world have to be reminded about what could happen to give it a rest?

-The former Enzo Amore, for his claim that Vince McMahon would “respect the hell out of him” for his “appearance” at the 2018 Survivor Series. Sure, that seems likely. Since he was cleared of the rape allegations made against him, he could have just bided his time and waited for the WWE to bring him back. It could have happened. But after the Survivor Series incident and his apparent “lurking” around a recent event at Madison Square Garden, it doesn’t sound like McMahon and company are going to be calling him at all, maybe ever again. Pretty fucking stupid, man. Pretty fucking stupid.

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