Movies & TV / Columns
The Man Movie Encyclopedia: From Paris With Love
Greetings, all.
Not too much to say here in the pre-amble. Hope everyone is doing well. Of course, you know how you could feel even better? If you made sure to buy my new book, Only A Ninja Can Review A Ninja, and check out my wrestling column that appears every weekend, The Super Terrific Wrestling Hour.
Also, if you haven’t, make sure you’re always checking out The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, written by a man just as devoted to the cause as I, and dare I say, just as sexy.
Alright, on with the show!
We meet a guy named Reese, who seems to do some type of foreign ambassador type shit, along with some kinda spy business, maybe. We see him change the plates on a car, and then tell his boss he wants more high profile missions. Dude tells him to cool his jets. He then goes home to his girlfriend, Caroline.
He finally gets his chance at a promotion by boss, first thing picking up Charlie Wax, his new partner. He immediately demands to be taken to a Chinese restaurant. Once there, he demands to know where the coke is at from a waiter. Dude fronts like he has no idea, until the entire restaurant explodes with gun fire, and Charlie is picking cats off left and right. He ends up getting what he came for, as he leaves one alive to tell his bosses that the show is over. Naturally, the dude goes straight to the hire-ups, so Charlie & Reese follow him. We then find out that a girl, niece of the Secretary of Defense had died from an over-dose of this shit, so he wants the whole operation shut down.
They get to where they’re headed, and naturally there’s a bit of a shoot out, after they get the address of where this cat gets his coke from. It’s being held in an apartment building, where they head to, and we learn that the previous story of why we’re doing this mission is complete bullshit, and it all has to do with terrorism.
Sure enough, the cats here are rocking bomb vests, and plenty of guns. They end up in another shoot out, which I think is about the 54th since Charlie Wax arrived in Paris. There’s a ton of intel in this apartment, including photos of Reese, who is apparently being watched. By whom? We dunno yet. This whole time however, he’s been very reluctant to be a bad-ass, or hurt anyone. The only time he perks up is when a gangbanger tries to take a ring that his girlfriend gave him. Speaking of, they end up going to Reese’s house for dinner, where Reese’s fiance has a friend, and she starts to get sweet on Charlie. While they’re sitting down for dinner, having a time, Caroline’s friend gets a phone call, to which Charlie responds by shooting her in the head. He then explains that she’s been working with the people they’ve been after. I think it would have been funny if at first he went “Oh, shit, my bad, I meant to ask her who it was, not shoot her in the head!”.
It’s then we learn that not only was she in on it, but so is Caroline. She’s bugged the house, AND the ring she gave Reese had a tracker in it. At first Reese doesn’t wanna believe, but she helps sway his mind by shooting him in the shoulder before escaping. Later, she ends up calling, and it’s so typical of a girl, because she literally says nothing of value. Not why she did it, not who she’s doing it for. It’s like all this happened, and she literally called to ask if he saw the latest episode of Walking Dead. I was waiting for her to go “So…why aren’t you talking?”, even though she called him. Anyway, they can’t get a trace, but they turn down her voice to listen to the background noise and see if they can figure it out that way. Ooh, that’d end up odd if they tried to do that to me.
CIA Agent: Alright, let’s turn down the vocals on Caliber’s phone call, listen to the background noise and see if we can figure out where he’s at.
CIA Agent 2: Well, what are you hearing?
CIA Agent: ….um. I don’t think it’s going to happen.
CIA Agent 2: What do you mean? What is it?
CIA Agent: It’s porn, sir.
CIA Agent 2: He’s watching porn?
CIA Agent: Yeah, but not just one scene. It….it appears he has 3 different devices going with 3 different scenes. I don’t know if we want to tangle with a guy this pathetic, sir.
They think that they’re after some US dignitaries that have just arrived, setting Charlie and another CIA agent after them. However, once they’ve left Reese does some detective work, because that plan doesn’t make much sense.
Turns out that Caroline is going to go to the summit, and not going after the motorcade with the dignitaries. Reese heads to the summit, while Wax continues chasing down the car, hanging out of the passenger window with a bazooka in hand. Man, just once, just ONCE I want to do something like that, and simply have one hot chick see it, and then it pop up on a missed connection.
MISSED CONNECT – Freeway, built white male:
Hi! You were the well built guy with the shaved head, and beard. You were wearing a Bloodsport t-shirt, and hanging out of a 1969 Chevelle Supersport holding a bazooka and driving the car with your foot. You also looked like you’d have an awesome action figure collection.
As for me, I’m Phoenix Marie.
Well, sure as shit, Wax blows the car to hell, and makes it in time to the summit where Reese tries to talk his suicide bomber fiance down, but she ain’t having it. So, what she does have, is a bullet to the head. Done and done baby. After that, Wax and Reese end up going their separate ways, but not before a game of chess, and Wax’s favorite food, a Royal with Cheese.
MAN MOVIE TALLY:
1-Liners: 0
Guys Beat Up: 2
Guys Killed: 43
Swear Words: 57
Boobies: 0
Explosions: 3
Foot Chase: 1
Car Chase: 1
Broken Bones: 0
Fight/Shoot-Out At Motel?: No
Guy Get Girl? Yes
Guy Smoke?: No
MAN FACTS:
Released on February 2nd, 2010, with a budget of $52 million dollars. After all was said and done, worldwide, it brought in almost $53 million.
C’MON BENNETT, LET’S PARTY!:
From Paris With Love is another from the Action Movie God himself, Luc Besson, although not as well received as many of his previous classics. That said, it’s a really fun movie, with John Travolta being a big reason for that. I would have never imagined he could play the role of a super-cool bad-ass, and have it be absolutely convincing. You have some great shoot-outs, fights, and good ol’ espionage. This is just a flat-out, empty calorie, good ass time. Definitely check it out when you get a chance.
***3/4 Head-Butts out of 5.
Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
Twitter: @CaliberWinfield
Instagram: @CaliberWinfield
I post almost daily with workout related stuff to help you cats out, along with what’s coming down the pike via the MME, and general pop culture from the 80s and 90s that I can’t seem to let go of.
If you just can’t wait until next week, you can also find me at these fine places:
Only A Ninja Can Review A Ninja: The Man Movie Encyclopedia
The deadly arts contained inside these movies can only be viewed and reviewed by one man, Caliber Winfield. For only a ninja, can review a ninja. I cover all the classics, from Enter The Ninja, American Ninja, to the modern films such as Ninja Assassin and Ninja. I don’t want to say this book has both saved and changed lives, but this book has both saved and changed lives.
The Man Movie Encyclopedia: The Hall of Burly – Vol. 1 – A collection of the first 19 MME articles written for 411. You get all the classics like Commando, Robocop, and Die Hard, not to mention bad-assery such as Point Break and They Live. Beyond that, you also get two new articles. My Top 5 favorite action movies, and what I believe to be the Top 5 most over-the-top scenes in action movie history. I won’t lie, it’s the greatest self=help/martial arts instruction book of all time.
My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake – My brand new ebook that’s become so popular it’s charting on the album sales charts. I cover the Friday The 13th franchise in Man Movie Encyclopedia fashion, followed up by a few list-based articles, chronicling my favorite kills, moments from the franchise, and a few other subjects. $3 via amazon, or simply email me and get it for $2, either way, it’ll probably change your life.
Caliber Winfield On The Facebook –
Anything new that I do you guys can find here. Last I checked I was at 54 likes, which is pretty fucking solid in my book. However, I saw Joe Lee and A Bloody Good Time were over 110. C’mon now, we can’t let them beat us, can we?!
All Things Caliber –
I merged my wrestling website into my long standing website that’s been up for over 6 years. Anything under the sun, I’ve written about it. Recently updated as I talk about the recent Brock Turner rape case.
