Man Movie Encyclopedia: Mad Max 2

Greetings, all.
Alright, we finally finish up the last leg of the Man Movie Encyclopedia’s Summer Vacation Series. This shit was suppose to be finished up weeks ago, but the movie I’d chosen initially just didn’t work out the way I wanted to, and then there was a ton of shit happening with work. Anyway, all that matters is we’re back on track, finishing this Summer Vacay with a blast, baby.

Come October, we’re gonna spend that month taking look at a particular horror series that’s pretty damn well known, that’ll also have a coinciding e-book release. So, basically, October 2018 is gonna be the best October that 2018 has, and will ever, see.

It’s time to put on your leather speedo and hit the NOS as we take a look at…

We open up with Max being chased by the dudes who crashed the part in Weird Science. He’s able to evade them, and comes across an odd ball type with a flying chair, basically. This dude thinks he has the jump on Max, but it’s the other way around.

In exchange for Max not killing him, he shows him an oil refinerly plant that has tankers full of gas. They post up on a cliff-side and take a look at the action, it’s a fortified base with wasteland bad-guys constantly trying to get in, but to no avail.

After a day or two, a few of the people who live in said compound head out, only to be attacked, and for the most part killed. Max saves one of them, in exchange for gas. However, when he gets back to the refinery, the dude dies, and everyone else is like “tough titties, bruh, no soup for you”.

It’s at this point that perhaps the gayest character in the history of gay makes his appearance, Lord Humongous. He’s literally Jason Voorhees, if Jason Voorhees worked out and dressed like his passion was dancing at Studio 54. It’s super weird, creepy, unsettling, and it works. He basically leads a band of baddies, who, big surprise, want the gas. They have a few of the refineries people, and are looking for an exchange. Humongous says if they simply leave, they can leave with their lives. He gives them a day to think it over.
Meanwhile, Max says he knows of a truck that could pull their tanker full of gas. If he gets it for them, then they give him his car back and all the fuel he can carry, an arrangement to which they agree. He sets off at night, and hooks up with his buddy from earlier, and together they get the rig after flying there on the dude’s gyro copter. Getting it back isn’t so easy, as he has to pass through the wasteland people’s camps, and do battle whilst driving. He eventually gets it inside, but so do a few baddies. However, they end up getting their asses kicked, despite the fact the refinery people look like they’re dressed as extras from Let’s Get Physical music video. I can dig it.
They decide to make a break for it, and fortify their shit, getting ready for the throw down. Meanwhile, Humongous didn’t take to the events earlier very well, so he sets his hostages on fire. Soon after, Max gears up and heads out, only it doesn’t last long, as he’s quickly ran off the road down a cliff. His booby-trapped car explodes, taking out 2 dudes, and leaving the rest to think he died too. He ends up being rescued by his homie that flies the gyro-copter. Back at base, he’s all about driving the tanker, now.
The fighters of the group go with Max and head straight into Humongous’ camp. Well, everyone but Max pretty much sucks, as they die pretty quickly, and all pretty uneventfully too. I mean, one dude is killed by a fucking trident! Do you know how pissed off I’d be if I were killed by a fucking trident?! I’d make sure no one found out about it too.

Caliber’s Funeral Director: Caliber wanted us all to know that he died a hero. He died on his feet. Like a champion. As he writes here, there were about 20 cyborg-silverback gorillas with chainsaws, and they wall wanted a piece of Caliber. After dispatching them with retaliative ease, he soon found himself face to faces with King Ghidora. After that of course, the arm wrestling match with Kenny Powers. This was, a veritable Game of Death scenario for our hero, who ended up dying after beating all those people, and then having too much sex with Phoenix Marie. It states here that he wants us all to know THAT’S how he died. He says “It was the cyborg monkey thing, and then, Kenny Powers, and then the sex with Phoenix Marie a bunch, I mean, a BUNCH, and that’s what killed me. It was mos certainly NOT the result of a fucking trident. There was no trident. I don’t even know why ya’ll would bring that shit up! Because I 100% did not die from a fucking trident. Shut up.”And now, we’ll unveil the tombstone, which per Caliber’s wishes, has a picture of him looking buff, with the simple inscription “definitely didn’t die because of a trident”.

So, the chase continues, with it eventually being only Max and the wild little feral kid. Finally, when it looks to be about the end, for whatever reason, Humungous crashes his rig right into the grill of Max’s semi truck, killing himself and Wez, the wild dude with the tomahawk. See, this is how I know me and this Humungous dude could chill. Because his whole way of thinking is aces. He thinks to himself “There’s only one way to stop this tanker. With my face. And now, I can’t just stop it with my face at a normal fast speed, nah, I gotta hit the nos and REALLY head butt the fuck outta this deal. Aces”. Well, this causes the tanker to crash, and the remaining members of the group see that the tanker is filled with dirt. No gas. They got the bamboozle, as the gas was tucked away in the bus that carried out the other half of the compound, and everyone lives happily ever after.

MAN MOVIE TALLY:
1-Liners: 0
Guys Beat Up: 1
Guys Killed: 8
Swear Words: 0
Boobies: 3
Explosions: 3
Chase: 3
Broken Bones: 0
Fight/Shoot-Out At Motel?: No
Guy Get Girl? No
Guy Smoke?: No

MAN FACTS:
There’s a stunt where a cat on a motorcycle crashes and does multiple cartwheels through the air and lands on the ground. When I saw it, I thought “Holy shit, did they really have him just crash on the ground? I didn’t see any where for a crash pad”. As I looked up some trivia, turns out that shit was legit as all hell. It was an accident, but it looked so great, they couldn’t ditch it. The stuntman broke the hell out of his leg.

The rolling of the tanker was so dangerous, the stunt driver wasn’t allowed to eat for 12 hours before hand, in the event he had to go into surgery.

The budget for this bad boy was 10 times bigger than the first.

C’MON BENNETT, LET’S PARTY!:
This movie is a fucking hoot. It’s basically non-stop action. There’s a few moments of down time, but other than that, it’s a bunch of screaming, fighting, explosions, car chases, and a SHIT TON of homoerotic undertones. What was with the movies of the early to mid 80s like this, or Beastmaster, that had a ton of homoerotic stuff? I mean, did they think it was super burly, or was it intentional? I mean, did anyone look at Humongous and think “We’re calling him The Humongous, he’s a ripped, clean shaven dude in leather hot-pants, a mask, and a studded bracelet. Dude is gonna get so much pussy”? Either way, it works. He’s a scary dude, especially if I think he wants to have sexy time with your boy Caliber. Anyway, it’s just a fun movie with a lot of great, organic, special effects, much how Fury Road is. Definitely worth checking out.
**** Head-Butts out of 5

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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I post almost daily with workout related stuff to help you cats out, along with what’s coming down the pike via the MME, and general pop culture from the 80s and 90s that I can’t seem to let go of.
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