Movies & TV / Columns

Movies/TV’s 3R’s 11.15.11: Expendables 2, Eddie Murphy, Billy Crystal, Bruce Campbell, More

November 15, 2011 | Posted by Porfirio Diaz

Welcome to Week 124 of The 3 R’s for the Movie/TV world.

Make sure to click the Facebook “Like”, Tweet button, and Google +1 links over there to the right of the article! Support 411mania, your home for the best in pop culture entertainment news.

Without any further ado, here is…

  • These Expendables 2 set pictures are definitely for the taking: Well lookie here. More set picture. I cannot get enough of them. These ones are packed with all the Chuck Norrises of the world – including Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Mr. Fact Meme himself – and a slight tease of Bengay.

    There are a full dozen count of these wonderful Kodak moments taken from the set in Bulgaria but I gathered the best ones here, with always necessary captions. What? You expected me to post all of them? I’m not your photograph whore.

    Oh, and I guess spoiler alert too. Because I don’t want anyone to think how Terry Crews’ fancy blue tanktop will become a key component to an already sophisticated pl… oops. I’ve said too much.

    “And this is what I did 30 minutes into Jack and Jill”

    John Cena. Age: 55. Occupation: Never giving up; turtle neck sweater model

    These guys will knock you out quicker than a UFC main event on Fox

    Spoiler alert: there’s a chance the movie will show the occasional buff guy with guns

    Chuck Norris, norrising like a boss Yeah, this isn’t Chuck Norris. It’s Randy Couture. This is what happens when it’s past midnight and everyone you see looks like Chuck Norris. I’m old.


    Okay, one of these people has to be Chuck Norris…

    See the rest of the photo shoot here.

  • What director Jose Padilha’s visions are for the Robocop remake: To have another movie franchise given the reboot/remake treatment may sound like a bad idea but consider these counterpoints:

    1. Its Robocop.

    2. It’ll be directed by José Padilha.

    3. Its freakin’ Robocop.

    Maybe these points are not enough to sway your opinion about another version of Robocop but at least consider the credibility of point #2. Famed Brazilian director José Padilha made Elite Squad: The Enemy Within (2010), a film enriched with positive vibes from critics along with a flawless victory rating from Rotten Tomatoes (100% out of 26 reviews counted) and an invite as Best Foreign Language Film at next year’s Academy Awards. It’s also known as the highest grossing Brazilian movie of all time. If that’s not enough, maybe you’ll like to hear about what Padilha has to say about what he plans to do with Robocop:

    “‘RoboCop’ the first movie was fantastic,” he told us. “But even if there was no movie, the concept of ‘RoboCop’ is brilliant, first because it lends itself to a lot of social criticism, but also because it poses a question, ‘To when do you lose you humanity?’ The way it does that is by replacing body parts with machine parts, and that’s very smart because guess what? It’s going to happen!”

    “I have my take on it,” he continued, “And I can tell you this: In the first ‘RoboCop’ when Alex Murphy is shot, gunned down, then you see some hospitals and stuff and then you cut to him as RoboCop. My movie is between those two cuts. How do you make RoboCop? How do you slowly bring a guy to be a robot? How do you actually take humanity out of someone and how do you program a brain, so to speak, and how does that affect an individual?”

    For those Brazilians hoping that Padilha will reunite with his “Elite Squad” star Wagner Maura to play RoboCop, we have some sad news (at least for them) that in fact, the director is looking for an American actor for the role.

    “We need an American RoboCop, man. RoboCop is an American guy, his name is Alex Murphy,” he said, laughing at the idea of turning Maura’s character Nascimento into an android. – Coming Soon

  • To reiterate, Padilha wants to take the inconsequential moment from the first movie – the cut between Alex Murphy: fresh corpse and Alex Murphy: roboperson – and turn it into a full length motion picture. For him to go forth with the humanity angle is an idea that’s every bit as intriguing as his recognition for strong action sequences, cinematography, and the joy of shooting people in the face. If he can take the same social complexity and passion from Elite Squad: The Enemy Within and insert into the man with the robot expression, then maybe a Robocop reboot won’t be too bad.

    Did I mention he wants the new Robocop to be American? Seems important. Liberty, apple pie, and Robocop shooting people in the face. The true American way.

  • Spartacus already renewed for third season before start of second season: Check it: Spartacus: Season 2 doesn’t start until January 27th (the six-episode prequel Gods of the Arena doesn’t count). Starz has already renewed the show for a third season.

    The quote “count your chickens before they hatch” comes into play but it’s also the network’s way to show an affirmative vote of confidence for the series and for new series star Liam McIntyre, who replaced Andy Whitfield in the main role after Whitfield’s unfortunate death from cancer a few months ago.

    I have embedded a sneak peek of the upcoming season down below. No sex scenes are shown, just a bunch of producers and actors engaging in industry talk about Rome and vengeance and shirtless ripped dudes looking into each other’s eyes before they talk out their differences with swords. Oh, you guys will love it.

  • Bruce Campbell talks about Evil Dead; provides valid argument: Bruce Campbell is a legend within the movie community and we like to think his opinion should matter more than what a number of keyboard jockeys have to say. While people argue about the absence of Ash in the latest remake of Evil Dead – “WTF no Ash in Evil Dead die Hollywood” in Internet talk – Bruce Campbell has taken time to address the problem in an interview to TV Guide:

    “We are going to remake it. The first one. And people are a little iffy about that [but] we wanted to remake a movie with better effects and we’re better at telling stories now… There’s no ‘Ash’ character and that pisses people off [but] we didn’t want to have the direct comparison. I wouldn’t want to put an actor in that position.” – Bloody Disgusting

    He then turned towards the camera, with his Mentos held high, as the interviewed concluded with “Mentos: The Freshmaker!”

    Here’s a highly regarded actor making an excellent point and… wait what? No! How did this happen? This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wanted to moan and groan some more, and take issue with the fact that Evil Dead is Ash and no Ash means no Evil Dead. But Campbell is right. If there was an “Ash” character – one which mimicked all the character traits from Bruce Campbell himself but without the flare of being Bruce Campbell – in the new remake he would be unfairly judged and yelled at by the ruthless Internet community and we can’t have that.

    While there is still a worry about how the remake with be treated, at least Campbell took the time to speak about the situation at hand. Does it make me want to run out and see Evil Dead once it debuts? Uhh…

  • Batman 1966 Intro + Dark Knight = Crazy Awesome: The headline should be a high enough sell for you to watch and be amazed by such Zokatoid. Basically I want this intro digitally inserted into all DVD and Blu-ray copies of The Dark Knight, like right this minute.

    Batman! I mean Leader! I love the Leader!

    Credit David Rose and his Happy Dragon Pictures website
  • Brett Ratner resigned as Oscars producer for homophonic slur: What a couple of weeks it’s been for resident douchebag Brett Ratner. He’s done a little bit of everything: said he banged Olivia Munn back before she was Asian (in his defense, he just forgot about her) and told an audience that “rehearsal is for f*gs”, which seems like Rule #1 on the list of things to do to piss off a large selection of the population, including those involved in a noticeable award ceremony.

    The Academy had no comment on post-Ratner plans. Ratner’s Tuesday announcement was the result of industry pressure. Following three days of outrage about his use of a gay slur at a Friday Q&A for “Tower Heist” and his raunchy interview on “The Howard Stern Show” on Monday, Academy president Tom Sherak accepted his resignation by phone Tuesday morning.

    In an open letter, Ratner said he “apologizes publicly and unreservedly.”

    “I should have known this all along, but at least I know it now: words do matter,” Ratner said. “Having love in your heart doesn’t count for much if what comes out of your mouth is ugly and bigoted.”

    The Academy issued a statement Tuesday that included a quote from Sherak, who did a 180-degree shift in tone from his let’s-move-on comments Monday.

    “He did the right thing for the Academy and for himself,” Sherak said in the statement. “Words have meaning, and they have consequences. Brett is a good person, but his comments were unacceptable. We all hope this will be an opportunity to raise awareness about the harm that is caused by reckless and insensitive remarks, regardless of the intent.”

    You can argue the merits of certain words and whether people should be given the freedoms to express them. But this is the year 2011. You have to be really arrogant if you think you can escape the perils of outrage with saying f*g onstage – at a public event no less – in this time and age. Probably not a good idea to issue an apology on the same day you’re scheduled to appear on the Howard Stern Show. These quotes didn’t help either. Brett Ratner may be douche blaster but he is by no means hateful and is probably sincere in his apology. It’s not like he committed any crimes either, only ignorance. But he put the Academy in a tough spot before he saw the consequences of his actions and resigned from the position, which is probably for the best.

    At least his decision to resign didn’t affect a whole lot within the Oscar telecast because they would have really been ba…

  • Eddie Murphy quits as Oscars host: Noooooooooo!

    Eddie Murphy has stepped down as host of the 84th Academy Awards telecast. The move comes a day after show producer Brett Ratner exited.

    Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Tom Sherak said Wednesday in a statement, “I appreciate how Eddie feels about losing his creative partner, Brett Ratner, and we all wish him well.”

    Commented Murphy, “First and foremost I want to say that I completely understand and support each party’s decision with regard to a change of producers for this year’s Academy Awards ceremony. I was truly looking forward to being a part of the show that our production team and writers were just starting to develop, but I’m sure that the new production team and host will do an equally great job.” – Hollywood Reporter

    After Brett Ratner stepped down, the buzz was whether Eddie Murphy would stay on as host. The above blockquote gave us our answer. Dang. Who knew Ratner was the anchor to the S.S. Griffin Oscar cruise ship? Maybe Ratner has the dirt on Murphy. Like awesome mirthful dirt.

    It’s kind of humorous how both individuals known for their lack of verbal boundaries – Eddie Murphy has said way worse during his standup routines. Maybe it was because he was funny? – are no longer part of an event known to puff up sensitive and conceited millionaires. What? That’s not humorous? It’s spot-on? Okay.

    With Murphy gone, the hunt for a new host has been issued. At the very least the selection committee can pick someone with a similar funny bone and an indifferent attitude to what celebrities think of him. Let the long search begi…

  • Billy Crystal in as Oscar host: Damnation. I give up.

    One of the jobs of the Oscar producer is to wrangle talent relationships and persuade reluctant stars to turn up on the telecast. The Academy confirms that Grazer has lured back veteran Oscar host Billy Crystal, who has hosted eight times, to replace departing show host Eddie Murphy, who didn’t want to proceed without Ratner. Crystal will be the oldest solo host, at age 63, since Bob Hope. Crystal tweeted: “Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions. Looking forward to the show.” – Thompson on Hollywood

    Billy Crystal will be hosting the awards show for the ninth time (last time in 2004), second to only the legendary Bob Hope with a record 18 times.

    Actually Billy Crystal is a decent, if totally safe, choice. He’s a beloved entertainer with a knack to, uh, talk and eat and laugh and love. Maybe? I don’t know. The selection probably doesn’t deserve all criticisms but I suddenly grew bored by this news much like most of you did. Guess it’s back to Call of Duty: MW3 and stalking Olivia Munn for me.

  • Mickey Rourke bows out from Seven Psychopaths; calls director a “jerkoff”: Almost everything Mickey Rourke does is a Right. There’s a chance old age and crankiness are finally affecting the man but his loveable charm typically outweighs any bad situation he creates for himself. This might not be one of those cases.

    Rourke has dropped out of In Bruges director Martin McDonagh’s next film Seven Psychopaths. The film was set to star Rourke in conjunction with an all-star collection of talent: Sam Rockwell, Colin Farrell, and Christopher Walken. Makes the Fantastic Four look like a pile of puke. All of this would have happened had Rourke not left the project and called the director a “jerkoff” on his way out.

    Back in October, it was reported that Mickey Rourke dropped out of ‘The Expendables 2’ so he could negotiate to appear in Martin McDonagh’s ‘Seven Psychopaths’ with Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell. About that: “The director was a jerkoff. He wanted a whole lot for nothing,” Rourke told Moviefone late last week during an interview for ‘Immortals.’ When asked to confirm that he won’t appear in the thriller, Rourke had this to say about McDonagh (‘In Bruges’): “He can go play with himself.” – Moviefone

    I like candid Mickey Rourke. In an industry where PR-related untruthfulness can pile up to monstrous levels, good old Rourke is needed to balance out the ratio a bit. Keep shooting from the mouth, Mickey.

    It’s not the part where he verbally punches McDonagh for the KO that I have a problem with. That part was awesome. We need more of that. I’m just bummed that Mickey won’t be part of what looks to be an amazing niche of talent, last but not least Christopher Walken.

    On the plus side, Woody Harrelson has been selected to replace Rourke, which is an otherwise fine substitute. He’s no Rourke but he’ll do.

  • Wait, so there’s an Asteroids movie being made now?: And when I say “Asteroids movie” I mean the 1980s video game adaption of “Asteroids”.

    A triangle, some space rocks, and umm… shapes. Yes! Here Hollywood, take my money! I don’t need it.

    Universal’s adaptation of the Atari video game Asteroids, meanwhile, will be written by Evan Spiliotopoulos. Matt Lopez (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) originally worked on the script. Spiliotopoulos was a writer on the upcoming Snow White and the Huntsman.

    The trade says “the plotline for the film adaptation has evolved into the story of two estranged brothers that must team up to save Earth from an alien race.” Lorenzo di Bonaventura (“Transformers” films) is producing. – Coming Soon

    “In a world where Deep Impact and Armageddon already exist but are oblivious to the good people at Universe, two estranged brothers will embark on a journey, a journey unlike any other. Two men must overcome their differences to save an alien race. Two men must unite for the battle of a lifetime and together will change the world.

    A hero will rise (“You have to keep shooting!” “But I can’t…” pew pew pew), and a bunch of shapely space rocks will fall (boom boom boom). Both men will fight will one cause but all they ever wanted was a two liter bottle of Shasta. In a world where humanity and asteroids will collide… one movie… will… blow… you… away…


    Asteriods: The Movie – Now in 1-D.

    “Hey, why do I see a trapezoid heading towards us?” “*gasp* That’s no trapezoid.”

    /sudden shot to black

  • Apparently this SNL sketch about the Penn State Scandal was found to be funny to some: Jason Sudeikis makes for a good devil but the whole Jerry Sandusky-Penn State sketch fell flat when they decided to tiptoe around the actual subject rather than tackling it head on. Not that the whole situation should be an endorsement for comedy but they could have made the devil a lot more distressing than he really was.

    Anyway, here’s the clip. Let me know when you can find the funny.

  • I have no idea what’s going on in this Snow White and the Huntsman trailer but I’m pretty sure it’s saying Kristen Stewart > Charlize Theron: This trailer scares and confuses me. Did the classic Snow White children’s story splice its DNA with, say, Game of Thrones? The very hard video game Dark Souls? And did the mirror actually say Kristen Stewart is a more attractive person than Charlize Theron? What sorcery is this? Did it meant to say “is most popular with teenage girls?” Does Edward have a say in this? Let’s go to the official synopsis for the official word:

    In the epic action-adventure Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart (Twilight) plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (Oscar(r) winner Charlize Theron) (even in fantasyland that’s some cockamamie bull malarkey) out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth, Thor) dispatched to kill her. – Apple

    So it’s like Snow White with street cred, right? And the 90-something pound Kristen Stewart is the land’s savior?

    Ow, my brain…

  • The mom from TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting is pregnant with 20th child: What is it with TLC and their desire to program families with enough kids to start their own softball league? Anyway, Michelle Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting is pregnant with her 20th child. Terrific.

    The family featured on TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting revealed that matriarch Michelle Duggar is three and a half months pregnant with her 20th child. In true Duggar fashion, the family appeared in full on the Today show to announce the good news.

    “We are due in April and just thrilled,” Michelle told Ann Curry during the broadcast. “We have the motto in our house that there’s always room for one more.”

    “I don’t know how it happened!” joked husband Jim Bob. – Hollywood Reporter

    It’s funny. It’s funny because her uterus is medically diagnosed as a clown car. I was going to ask how the parents are paying for their kid’s food, clothes, and education, but I realized that’s why they have a show on TLC. Hey, thanks TLC.

    Early preview of next season’s 20 Kids and Counting
  • The answer to our nation’s greatest question – “Is Courtney Stodden’s breasts real? – is finally solved: I must have been out buying yogurt and expensive trail mix. Why else would there be a strong demand to determine whether Courtney Stodden’s breasts is the result of implants? If you remembered (and I don’t blame you if you didn’t), Courtney Stodden is wed to her husband Doug Hutchison and are separated in age by 35 years. For some reason, the media can’t seem to get enough of them. And seeing as how Dr. Drew has some free time on his hands, hey, why not bring Stodden on his show Lifechangers and see if those perks are not enhanced with silicone.

    Oh sure. When a female doctor examines the breasts of a teenage girl, it’s called a medical procedure. But when JLAJRC* and I do it, it’s “against the law” and “restraining order” this and that. TV shows are such frauds.

    * – Probably not true. I just didn’t want to venture into an underage grope joke all myself.

  • I could go for an Oregon Trail movie and they might even do a “Lewis and Clark” spinoff. – Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest)

    A “Lewis and Clark” spinoff has “Jack Black comedy” written all over it. Now to investigate on why that was the first thought to pop in my head…

    Hey, you probably are not aware but “What a jip” should actually be “What a gyp” with gyp short for gypsy. It’s an old offensive term which in the UK isn’t used much as it’s basically a racist term against romanov gypsys.

    I know it’s a saying but it has unpleasent beginnings that I thought you’d probably want to know. After all there are a bunch of old Southern sayings that you’d NEVER use these days – same thing. – Posted By: Guest#8706 (Guest)

    And here I thought I was hip to all Southern slangs. But seriously, I didn’t know the origin to “What a gyp” – which I incorrectly entered “What a jip”, which means I can’t even be unconsciously offensive properly – was dipped in negative notation. Webster defines “gyp” as “cheat, swindler”, in which I used to define one of the blurbs in the previous column.

    I looked further into the matter and found this informative yet sensible source of brain food:

    Gyp is thought to be short for “Gypsy.” And long before that term meant a group of odd people who roam the countryside running scams, it was an ethnic slur for the Romany people who immigrated from Eastern Europe. The term “Gypsy” evolved from the habit of calling the people Egyptians, because they sort of looked Egyptian and the locals were apparently too shy to ask the people where they were actually from.

    The point is the negative meaning of the word started centuries ago, and even now plays off the common stereotype of Gypsies as sneaky, thieving con artists. At least they don’t break all your shit like the Vandals, though. Assholes. – Cracked

    “Gyp” was #2 on their “8 Racist Words You Use Every Day” list. #1 is truly awful but thankfully has been sniffed out as false. As if we couldn’t become unintentionally racist enough.

    I like how the Jersey Shore fan guy’s argument is basically “Come on people!”

    Reminds me of South Park:

    “Come on people, gotta drive hybrids now people… hybrid driving people… come on people now,” – Posted By: Guest#4106 (Guest)

    I had a scholastic critique in response to your comment handily but I reckoned this video clip, which explains everything to everyone, would just be as informative.

    I tried to stay away from TDKR spoilers. I was successful until Entertainment tonight showed video of Cat woman running over an IMAX camera with the Bat Pod. :/ – Posted By: Ant-LOX (Guest)

    Unless the title is marked “spoiler alert”, it’s virtually impossible to all-together avoid Dark Knight Rises spoilers, especially in today’s “ah must show you this like right now!” environment. Solution: become a land dweller. Screw Wi-Fi. Blue sky!

    An Oregon Trail movie could be fun, especially if it was dark and led to cannibalism. MMMMMMMM…. cannibalism….. – Posted By: APrince66 (Guest)

    “You Have Died of Cannibalism” would not only be the second worst way to die in Oregon Trail (next to diarrhea) but is a gross mistreatment of the English language says I.

    ” Christian Bale’s hair is looking rather Bateman-esqe in those pics – Posted By: E. Edward Grey (Guest)

    Now there’s a combination of great joy: Batman meets Arrested Development. Think of the ratings!

    Uh, dude, was this a joke of some sort, or did you really not get the Partick Bateman/American Psycho reference?
    I guess it must be a joke. Carry on. – Posted By: Guest#8318 (Guest)

    I said it last week and I’ll say it again: I missed the reference completely. You win. I award myself no points, and may God have mercy on my soul.

    I REFUSE to watch that video. You’re not gonna spoil my show Diaz! – Posted By: MBD (Guest)

    Oh, I’ll break you yet.

    I actually think a Carmen SAndiego movie would be interesting, although I think Julia Roberts looks more like Carmen than J’lo. – Posted By: JLAJRC (Guest)

    My vote would be for Eva Mendes but I say that to all movies that doesn’t have Eva Mendes or enough Eva Mendes. Basically it’s Eva Mendes all the time or no one should be allowed to be happy.

    Last word: Middle class guy rant of the week: if you can, always pack a spoon with you at all times. Because eating yogurt with a fork is the worse. The WORSE! You don’t collect as much yogurt per scoop as you want and you already leave a good portion of it at the bottom of the cup because a fork is incapable of fishing out the remainders. Then you’d have to use your finger to scoop the rest, which is already weird enough. What a dark day that was.

    /end rant


    article topics

    Porfirio Diaz