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Scare Package Review
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Cast:
*Jeremy King as Chad
*Noah Segan as Husband
*Toni Trucks as Franchesca
*Chase Williamson as Pete
*Baron Vaughn as Varron Bonn
*Zoe Graham as Jessie
*Jon Michael Simpson as Mike Myers
*Chelsey Grant as Daisy
*Dustin Rhodes as The Devil’s Lake Impaler
Story: Chad, the owner of Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, recounts a series of bone-chilling, blood-splattered tales to illustrate the rules of the horror genre to his newest employee.
Horror anthology films are seemingly easy to do, but not exactly easy to get right. For every Creepshow, there are about ten other movies like V/H/S or The ABCs of Death. Not that those two movies are bad, but the very format of a horror anthology is usually its detriment. Unless you have a clear creative vision, there’s a good chance your movie will be hit or miss, at best. Creepshow worked because every story fits with the theme and tone, and was written by the same guy. The ABCs of Death is a hodgepodge of different voices and talents telling varied stories. This means the quality could quickly diverge from segment to segment.
The latest of these movies is Scare Package, a movie that in spite of several directors and writers, has a singular vision. It’s a movie made by horror fans, for horror fans, and it uses each story to lovingly mock a particular trope or subgenre. Everything from the virgin always surviving, the killer being unstoppable and even the rules for stock characters is subject to parody.
The movie runs 103 minutes and in that time frame manages to run a total of seven stories, which includes a two-part wrap-around, of sorts. To give away how the beginning and ending segments tie together would be spoiling it, and this is a movie you definitely want to see without spoilers. Scare Package is a horror comedy, but the only horror comes from bloodshed. This is definitely a comedy, first and foremost. More importantly, most of the jokes actually land, which isn’t something you can say for modern comedies. But Scare Package likes to lean into the absurd and for the most part it works.
Each story is different, and yet they all have the same kind of charm to them. After the first story, which involves a guy named Mike Myers who just wants a bigger role in life (or movies), we go to our main wraparound story, set in a video store. Not just any video store, Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium, where the man himself introduces every other story, before starring in the final one. The stories here are varied. One has a werewolf hunter. Another has a virgin wanting to kill her Jason-like nemesis so she can finally have sex. Another has a scientific experiment on a seemingly unstoppable killer and his victims.
The funniest story will depend on your tastes, but “One Time in the Woods” is a strong contender. In addition to a group of young-ish people avoiding a slasher in the woods, they also have to contend with some type of monster that changes forms by melting down. And unfortunately for them, he’s stuck mid-transformation and very chatty. “The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill” is the one with the Jason ripoff, and it’s basically a slasher where the slasher does very little work. Friday the 13th meets Tucker & Dale vs. Evil.
Finally, another strong entry is the final story, “Horror Hypothesis,” which not only features Rad Chad getting a starring role (something you will want by the time it happens), but a very special cameo. Not only that, but AEW wrestler Dustin Rhodes plays the villain of the segment, a nearly unstoppable killer that just wants vengeance. Surprisingly, he does get a chance to emote in the role and he’s pretty good. Not that this story is really about that.
Not all of the stories were great. “M.I.S.T.E.R”, which comes from genre veteran Noah Segan, doesn’t stick around long enough to provide much of an impact, even if it shows promise. “Girls’ Night Out of Body” is mostly a one-note joke stretched out long past its expiration date. But even the misses are amusing enough, and could only be considered misses depending on your tastes. If you’re a fan of lots of bloodletting and slapstick comedy, “Woods” is more your speed. In other words, there’s something for every type of horror/comedy fan.
That’s another thing. While this movie is never scary, it wears its love for the genre on its sleeve. The cameo in the final story alone should prove that, but you also get nods to A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween and more. Even the movie’s poster is a callback to House and House II: The Second Story. The monster in “Woods” looks similar enough to the monster in Creepshow‘s “Father’s Day” segment that it has to be an homage.
Scare Package is a movie that does exactly what it sets out to do. The goal is to entertain and it’s going to be hard to watch this and not be entertained. It’s funny, extremely well-paced, has some decent acting and good comedic timing. The film had its worldwide premiere on Shudder as part of The Last Drive-In and will officially debut on the service tomorrow. If you call yourself a horror fan, you need to give this one a shot.
