South Park 1.1 Review – “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”

Hello children. My name is Jeremy Lambert. Some of you may know me from current day South Park reviews. Others may know me from the wrestling or MMA sections. Some may not know me at all. That’s cool. We’re all friends now.

In preparation for the upcoming season of South Park, which premieres on Sept. 26, I’m going to take a long long trip into Imagination Land and begin my review of Every. South Park. Ever. There’s little chance I make it all the way through before the premiere, but that won’t stop me from trying.

We start with the pilot episode, titled “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe.” The episode premiered on Comedy Central on August 13, 1997. Being over 20 years old, the most jarring thing about this episode is the animation. It’s not like I wasn’t ready for it, having seen the episode hundreds of times, but it’s still a sight that takes a second to get used to. For example, the shadow behind each character makes me feel as if I’ve had too much to drink.

The goal of any pilot episode is to introduce the characters, their environment, and the tone of the series. So, it’s only fitting that the first scene in South Park history is Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan at the bus stop, singing.

The tone is immediately set with Kyle cursing, Cartman telling the story of aliens sticking something up his ass, and child abuse. Hey, it was 1997. Punting babies was acceptable all the way up until Nov. 8 2004.

Throughout the episode, we’re introduced to South Park staples such as Chef, Mr. Garrison, Ms. Crabtree, and Officer Barbrady. In the classroom, we see Token, Butters, Clyde, Pip, and others. But none of them have any dialogue. In fact, the only other child with any meaningful dialogue is Wendy, who we learn is Stan’s crush. We also learn that Stan can’t control his gag reflex when she’s around.

Pushing the boundaries a bit more, South Park kills off a child a rather horrific fashion. Kenny’s first official death comes via being run over by Barbrady’s cop car, after he’s trampled by a cow stampede, AFTER he’s shot by aliens. Little did we know at the time, Kenny could regenerate. Seeing his ravaged body is easier to deal with when you know this.

Perhaps the first sign of Matt Stone and Trey Parker playing off current real world issues was their use of cows. The mad cow disease epidemic had hit Britain a year prior to “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” making air. While that doesn’t seem timely, keep in mind it took Stone and Parker around three months to cut and paste this episode together. It’s also possible they were ripping on cows being sacred by putting them over as the most intelligent lifeforms on earth. At least according to the aliens. Or maybe Matt and Trey were just saying humans are dumb. The last one is probably the truth.

Kyle’s monologue at the end in an effort to get his brother back starts out as sweet, but falls on deaf ears. It’s not until he lets loose with an expletive filled tirade that the aliens listen to him. Over 20 years and this still hits home. Be calm and rational, maybe people will listen. Scream with no remorse, become President.

We also get a taste of Parker and Stone’s love of musicals. “I Love to Singa” is used twice in the episode, giving the show a throwback feel and setting the stage for musical episodes to come throughout the series.

South Park portrays third graders as devil children, teachers as crazy assholes, officers as incompetent, chefs as over sexual, and aliens as real. The pilot episode didn’t touch on social or political issues that lift and plague the show today. At least, not in any direct manner. Back in 1997, the show was more about crazy situations like aliens abducting a member of the group and giving him an anal probe. And less about suicide in relation to social media bullying.

Simpler times, 1997.

“Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” survives on shock value that still plays today. A kid is farting fire, and setting a classmate on fire as a result, is always funny. Kids cursing is always funny. Kicking babies. Funny.

I’m on Twitter @jeremylambert88

8.7

The final score: review Very Good

The 411

As far as nostalgia goes, the first episode of South Park brings us to a simpler time. The jokes have aged well and the story is as stupid (in a good way) as ever. The animation has a charm to it, even if it's bad. To me, this episode never gets old and it makes me miss the days where the boys were just rude boys getting into farfetched situations.