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The 411 Douchebag of the Week: Lena Dunham

December 10, 2018 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Lena Dunham

The 411mania Douchebag of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the latest edition of The 411 Douchebag of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

Should the Christmas song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” be banned? That’s one of the big hooha pop culture questions currently raging with plenty of people supporting the ban and others coming down on the “this is bullshit” side of things. Personally, I think the song should be banned, but not because of the “#MeToo” movement or the song’s alleged support of rape culture (the #MeToo movement is reaching here on this and, no, the song does not “support” rape culture or anything like that), and it should be banned for most of the year, only showing up a few weeks before Christmas and then disappearing back into the Christmas song vault. In fact, just about all Christmas music should be banned until it’s, you know, Christmas.

Now, if you want to listen to Christmas music all year long, that’s your business. This is, after all, America, land of the free. But this nonsense of Christmas “starting” as soon as it hits midnight on Halloween needs to stop. The Christmas season doesn’t start until fucking December, and, shit, we have to get by Thanksgiving before we get to Christmas, don’t we? So why the fuck don’t we do that?

Damned if I know. But don’t be surprised if Christmas starts before fucking Halloween one day. The Hallmark Channel already does it. Will the rest of the world follow?

And now onto this week’s Douchebag of the Week.

Douchebag

LenaDunhamAwful

This week, the 411 Douchebag of the Week goes to actor, writer, director, producer, and Douchebag Hall of Famer Lena Dunham for for her recent “apology” regarding sexual assault victim Aurora Perrineau.

Over a year ago, Perrineau, an actress, filed a police report claiming that Murray Miller, a writer and executive producer on Dunham’s HBO show Girls, raped her back in 2012 when she was just seventeen years old. After news of the police report and accusations got out, Miller denied the whole thing and claimed that Perrineau was trying to get big money from him. Dunham, along with Girls showrunner Jenni Konner, then openly supported Miller via a statement to the Hollywood Reporter. Now, what I mean by “openly supported” Miller is that Dunham, along with Konner, claimed to have “insider knowledge” of the Perrineau/Miller “situation” and that “insider knowledge” is how they knew Miller didn’t do it. This situation was a prime example of “the 3 percent of assault cases that are misreported every year.” It was one of the few lone exceptions to the rule of “believing women.”

And now, over one year later, Dunham has had to admit to the world that she had no “insider knowledge” of the situation. In short, she lied about what she claimed to know.

Why did she do it? If you bother to read Dunham’s “apology,” it’s a lot of self-serving, rambling bullshit that totally fails to actually apologize for anything. I can’t say that I’m surprised by any of that, since Dunham is all about “me, me, and me,” and very little (try next to nothing) about anyone else. Still, it’s pretty awful seeing her go on and on “apologizing” and not apologizing for anything. She just babbles on and on in a typical self-absorbed way. It’s disgraceful.

I mean, Dunham wouldn’t be in this position if, back in 2017 when Perrineau’s accusations against Miller came out, she had simply said something along the lines of “These are terrible claims. This is not the Murray Miller we know. Aurora Perrineau’s story needs to be heard, she needs to be believed, and this kind of thing needs to stop.” If Dunham had said anything resembling that, she wouldn’t have had to make an “apology” a year later. But she didn’t say anything like that. She claimed to “know more” about the situation, she claimed to know “the truth.”

So what happens next for “the voice of a generation?” Will Dunham fade away into deserved obscurity, or will she somehow come out of this “better” for “being brave?” I don’t know. I don’t know if people will continue to want to work with her, if she’ll continue to find work and be listened to. I don’t know how anyone worked with her (or for her) in the first place. She’s insufferable on TV; she must be even worse in person.

Lena Dunham has shown the world just how awful a person she really is. She’s a liar. You can’t believe or trust what she says about anything. She also can’t simply apologize for deliberately making what amounts to a big fucking mistake.

Lena Dunham is terrible. There’s just no way around it.

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

The outgoing Republican majority state legislatures in Michigan and Wisconsin, for their attempts to limit the power of incoming Democratic governors. They’ll do it, of course, because they’re ruthless pricks who will do absolutely anything to win, even when they lose, while the Democrats and “the left” try to figure out how to respond (they’ll end up whining about the whole process being unfair, which it is, but that’s about all they’ll do). When will “the left” wake up?

The 4th Precinct of the Minneapolis Police Department, for its racist Christmas tree ornaments. Why would police officers do something like this? Why would they assume that no one would notice and that no one would care? How is this behavior supposed to endear them to the community that they police and protect? We’re all waiting for the no doubt sensible answers to these questions.

-Fox Business TV show host, professional ultra-right wing psychopath, and Douchebag Hall of Famer Lou Dobbs, for claiming that global warming is actually a United Nations plot to take over the world. Because, yeah, that makes sense. Why do people still watch or listen to Lou Dobbs? Why is Lou Dobbs still a thing? Aren’t there other, less crazy options out there?

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, for the recent Kevin Hart fiasco. And that’s what it is, a fiasco. How did the Academy not know that comedian Hart had made some seriously homophobic stuff in the past and that those remarks would bubble up to the surface once it announced that Hart would be hosting the 2019 show? How did the show producers/organizers not go over Hart’s social media background with a fine tooth fucking comb? You’d think that after the James Gunn situation that there would be no more “surprises” like this Kevin Hart one. But then, since when does anyone learn anything about anything?

Exactly.

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