The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week: Tucker Carlson

The 411mania Dumpster Fire of the Week

Hello, everyone, and welcome to The 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week. I’m Bryan Kristopowitz.

So I finally got a chance to see Quentin Tarantino’s new movie Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood and it was pretty good. It’s not great, but it’s also not a complete borefest. It’s actually something I might consider watching again when it’s on TV. While it’s too long for the story Tarantino is trying to tell, it doesn’t necessarily feel as long as it is. It was clearly designed to be long, and while I don’t agree with that strategy (why couldn’t this movie be a lean and mean two hours?) it isn’t my movie, it’s Tarantino’s.

DiCaprio, who, to me, has looked like he’s fifteen for like twenty years now, actually looked older in this movie, and he did a good job in it. Brad Pitt was cool, too (did his Cliff Booth kill his wife? I guess we’re going to be debating that for years to come. I have a feeling that he didn’t, despite his apparent skill at killing women). I would love to see Tarantino actually film those Bounty Law episodes he claims to have written to figure out DiCaprio’s character, but that will probably never happen. I also wouldn’t mind seeing Tarantino somehow cobble up that movie DiCaprio’s Rick Dalton made with Telly Savalas in Italy.

The only thing about the movie I didn’t care for was the inclusion of Sharon Tate and Charles Manson. To me, it would have been far more interesting for Tarantino to create his own Sharon Tate type character and Charles Manson type character and “play with history” that way as opposed to altering real life events. If he makes it all up anyway, to me, it just plays better when Charles Manson’s family doesn’t kill Sharon Tate. But then again, it’s his movie.

So will Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood be a major awards contender? I’d suspect that it will get named to a bunch of big deal lists and probably get nominated for stuff, but I don’t think it’s going to win much of anything. For whatever reason, at the moment, it doesn’t seem like a movie that will win. It’s a movie that will get recognition, though.

So what did you guys think of Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood? Was it good? Bad? Is Randy related to Stuntman Mike?

And now onto this week’s Dumpster Fire of the Week.

This week, the 411 Dumpster Fire of the Week goes to Douchebag Hall of Famer, Fox News TV show host, and professional weasel Tucker Carlson, for his recent claim that white supremacy is not a real problem in America and is a “hoax.” Carlson, on a recent episode of his Fox show Tucker Carlson Tonight, claimed that “white supremacy” is a hoax, a “conspiracy theory” used to “divide the country” because the “Russia story died.” And Carlson knows that white supremacy is a hoax because he’s” never once met a white supremacist” in his life. To Carlson, this is all just so much bullshit, a massive conspiracy to divide the United States further and take down President Trump.

First off, if “white supremacy is a hoax,” why did the President’s own FBI director, Chris Ray, tell Congress that “white supremacy is a persistent, pervasive threat to the United States?” Would Director Ray have said that if white supremacy was just a big hoax/a lie? Is Director Ray now a part of the “Deep State?” Second, was the El Paso massacre perpetrator lying when he said, via his manifesto, that he was a white supremacist and he wanted to kill Mexicans because he believed he, along with all white people, were being replaced somehow? How does this hoax explain the Gilroy Garlic Festival shooter’s apparent white supremacist leanings? Or the Pittsburgh synagogue shooter? And what about the Charlottesville white supremacist gathering? Was that all just a big show concocted by HBO and Vice to help perpetuate the big lie?

And how does Carlson explain radio show host Dean Obeidallah’s recent article about experiencing white supremacy first hand? And this?

And, shit, how about all of those media interviews with white supremacists over the years? Carlson must have seen at least some of those on cable (he’s worked for CNN and MSNBC in the past, so, at some point, he must have run into one or two in his career). And he never “debated” a white supremacist on Crossfire when he was on CNN or worked with someone who did, in fact, “debate” a white supremacist?

So I think it’s safe to say that Carlson is, surprise, completely full of shit and lying his ass of about this. But then what else should you expect? As for the whole “the Left is using this hoax to divide America further,” that’s just ludicrous. How does the scheme even work? Who, outside of white supremacists, is being hammered here?

And if white supremacy is no big deal/endorsed by a small minority of white people, is Carlson willing to take back everything he said about “immigrants being terrorists?”

Exactly. He isn’t going to do anything remotely like that. Carlson has a viewpoint to promote, a business to run, and he isn’t going to stop any time soon. It’s far too lucrative, and the audience keeps buying what he’s selling over and over again (just look at Fox’s ratings). Nonsense, bullshit, and hate sells.

There seems to be plenty of speculation as to whether or not Carlson and his show will come back after this and his “sudden, unannounced vacation,” since his “hoax” remarks are controversial and his show continues to lose sponsors. But, again, I doubt Carlson is going anywhere. Fox News will find someone to advertise on his show, and, as I said, Carlson is a good seller of bullshit. So the “leftists” anticipating Carlson’s “departure” should calm down. Carlson isn’t going anywhere.

I keep saying this, but it seems to be truer and truer with each day. The world really is a lost place, isn’t it?

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And now for this week’s honorable mentions…

– Dumpster Fire Hall of Famer, 2018 Dumpster Fire of the Year, and (Jesus Christ) 45th President of the United States Donald Trump, for helping perpetuate the lame as fuck conspiracy theory that the Clintons had Jeffrey Epstein killed. Yes, the “Clinton body count” continues, except the “Clinton body count” is bullshit. But when has the President let the facts/reality/the evidence get in the way of a good story? Why not wait for the details surrounding Epstein’s apparent suicide come out before claiming that it was a hit job by the Clinton jet pack wearing assassination squad or whatever the fuck?

The world as a whole would be a much better place if the President’s Twitter time was restricted and monitored so he doesn’t say something fucking stupid. It really would be.

-MSNBC TV show host and former Congressperson Joe Scarborough, for his claim that “Russia and Trump had Jeffrey Epstein killed.” Yes, while it’s true that Scarborough probably doesn’t have the reach of President Trump, it’s still outrageous and ridiculous for someone like Scarborough to float out the idea that the President had anything to do with Jeffrey Epstein’s apparent suicide. Yes, be suspicious and, yeah, openly wonder if Attorney General Bill Barr can run a competent investigation (complaining about the government being a haven of fuck ups knows no political ideology), but don’t endorse bullshit conspiracy theories without some facts to back them up. Shouldn’t a “new liberal” like Scarborough know that?

-Douchebag Hall of Famer, “musician,” “entertainer,” and ultra-right wing celebrity Kid Rock, for his recent Twitter attack against Taylor Swift. Kid Rock seems to think that Swift is about to initiate some sort of oral sex campaign to get into Hollywood after announcing that she’s a Democrat because, I guess, that’s what you have to do to get into the movie business (is he speaking from personal experience? Is that how he got a part in that Biker Boyz movie? Did he have to do something unseemly to David Spade to get a part in Joe Dirt?). I’m not a fan of Swift at all, and if you want to say she’s awful because she doesn’t have the same political beliefs as you, that’s fine, too, but to claim that she’s going to “sleep her way” to stardom in movies is just gross and terrible. I would say that fake country badass Robert James Ritchie, Jr. should be ashamed of himself, but then that would require him to engage in some self-reflection, and there’s no way that’s going to happen.

People will really believe in anything. Anything.

–Universal Studios, for the way it handled the cancellation of the release of The Hunt. First, Universal pulled advertising for the movie in the wake of the shooting massacres in El Paso and Dayton, but then, after President Trump complained about the movie (a movie he hasn’t seen) Universal pulled its release. There seems to be an assumption that the movie is an attack on right wingers/”MAGA” types because, you know, Hollywood and all the globalist conspiracy shit, but what if the assumptions are wrong? What if the movie is something else, like The Purge movies, which are brilliant attacks on humanity’s need for bloodlust? Or how about this? Maybe the movie is an attack on leftists? We’ll never know until Universal releases the movie, or allows people who have seen the movie already to talk about it. And who knows when that will be?

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