Movies & TV / Columns

The 8 Ball 07.12.11: Top James Bond Films

July 12, 2011 | Posted by Chris Hammill

Let’s be honest here, what guy DOESN’T wanna be James Bond? You travel all over the world, kick some ass, get the girl at the end. Not to mention you get to drive around in a cool Aston Martin. The classic DB5 Connery drove set the bar as far as kick ass spy cars are concerned. Bond, with the times, has upgraded to a more advanced DB9, which to me, is the most beautiful thing on 4 wheels…

The 8 Ball

This Weeks Topic: The Top James Bond Films

To me, James Bond is the embodiment of all things male. Their have been 22 Bond films and I have watched them all.

6 actors have had the opportunity to portray the famous spy. I don’t acknowledge George Lazenby’s Bond because I thought it was so awful, I struggled to get through “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”. I thought Timothy Dalton was ok at best. Daniel Craig is only 2 movies in, but “Casino Royale” was a great flick and I loved his performance. It comes down to 3 actors: Sean Connery, Roger Moore & Pierce Brosnan. 2 actors had positives and negatives about their portrayal of bond. However, while everyone has their personal favorites, to me, their really is only ONE James Bond…

Yep, Sean Connery. He had the entire package: Charming personality, wits, strength, sex appeal, everything. Roger Moore’s movies to me seemed more of a comedy Bond and Brosnans’s Bond seemed to struggle to get that action star look. You can’t top Goldeneye, and Brosnan tried to do that with every movie after Goldeneye. It got ridiculous with “Die Another Day”, and I’m glad the series died out for a few years.

Anyhow, on to the main event.

#8: Diamonds Are Forever

Sean Connery’s last performance as Bond (until the Thunderball remake “Never Say Never Again” in the early 80’s). Blofeld is at it again. This time around, he is surgically cloning himself and he is up to his usual antics to take over the world. He disguises himself as Willard Whyte, a famous Casino owner. Mix in some undercover work, hot women in bikinis and some gun fights and you got yourself a great Bond flick.

I like this movie because it is to me, the last true Connery Bond. Connery appears aged as Bond, but that doesn’t stop him from kicking ass. This is a Bond essential. If you are a true Bond fan, you must watch this film.

#7: Moonraker

It’s the very first Bond film I saw when I was 11 years old. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid and always played spy games with my brother, so this movie was AWESOME to me. My favorite thing about this movie is not Bond, Drax or the Moonraker’s themselves, I loved Jaws…

Total bad ass…

Here is this near 8 foot tall giant that can eat steel wires and is virtually unstopable. Put him in the mix of space travel and a cool spy story, Moonraker easily gets a spot on my list.

#6: Thunderball

SPECTRE’s at it again. This time they steal 2 nuclear warheads and are holding the world hostage. What I loved about this movie is in the beginning of the film, #2 goes to a secret SPECTRE meeting and while you see and hear #1’s voice, you still can’t see his face. He also, at a push of a button, punishes an unlucky fella who has failed to please his leader…

This made a lasting impression on me. SPECTRE is not one to fuck with. Later on in the film, you see an epic underwater battle between SPECTRE and the Navy (with assistance of Bond). I think this scene has held or still holds a record for biggest underwater fight in a film. Not sure about that, but it’s still an awesome scene…

#5: Casino Royal

First off, just watch this…

This is the COOLEST opening credits of all of the Bond films. Although I think “Live & Let Die” is a better song. That’s just me being a Paul McCartney mark though. Chris Cornell has a voice I normally don’t like, but this songs awesome.

Anyhow, onto the movie itself. It is a remake of an old 50’s TV special with the same name, and it is about Bond playing a game of poker to stop a terrorist banker from funding terrorism. To me, I don’t know why they couldn’t have just captured him instead of having to play poker, but that’s just me being nit picky. Anyhow, one scene in particular that showed how much of a bad ass Daniel Craig’s Bond is, is this scene…

I don’t know about you, but if someone else did that to me, I’d probably cave in. Not Bond. This movie had all of the right ingredients that makes a great Bond film. Quantum Of Solace wasn’t as good as this, but if Craig keeps up performances like this as Bond, he may very well end up there with Connery as the ultimate Bond.

#4: The Man With The Golden Gun

A world wide known hit man is out for Bonds head. No SPECTRE, no terrorist threatening world domination, just a guy with a midget assistant wanting to see if he’s a better shooter than Bond. I thought I would hate this movie. This is one of my favorites because it’s the only Roger Moore movie I really liked. Moonraker is on this list because I thought it was an interesting plot. I didn’t like Moore’s performance in that movie, LOVED it in this. Also, it had Christopher Lee in it. This dude has done everything from sucking blood out of people’s necks, to trying to kill a British secret agent, to even zapping Jedi in Star Wars…

The only reason I watched Episode II…

You also have the lovely Mary Goodnight, who is one of my favorite Bond girls. She is played by Britt Ekland.

Above all else, this movie had the famous golden gun. The one gun in Goldeneye for the N64 you had to find every multi player mission. It’s also one of the most famous collectible item for Bond fans. It’s one of the most iconic firearms in history, and it’s just from a fucking movie. A perfect film for anyone looking to watch a Bond flick.

#3: Goldfiner

What can I say about this movie that hasn’t already been said. It’s argued by many as the best Bond film of all time. It’s also said that this is Connery’s best performance as Bond. To me, yes, I agree with almost everything the fans say. However, I found a problem with this. No SPECTRE. When this film was released, everyone was obsessed with SPECTRE and wanting to find out the story behind that group. While this movie is excellent, I wanted to find out what happens next with SPECTRE.

However, that one negative aspect is made up 10 fold by many positives.

You had this guy, Odd Job. Besides Bond and the main villains, Odd Job is one of the most popular characters in the Bond films. His ability to take any punch and use his hat as a Frisbee like saw was cool as hell…

Also, this film has the greatest moment in all Bond films. Any thrilling spy movie today owes their success to this scene…

Taking away the “no SPECTRE” complaint, this is the perfect Bond film.

#2: Goldeneye

I may catch some heat for this putting Goldeneye above Goldfinger, so allow me to explain why.

First off, it had the perfect Bond villain. Who else could match Bond with gun skills, resources and fighting skills than another 00 agent? 006 Alec Trevelyan, who thought to be dead for years, resurfaces as Janus. He plans to use the Goldeneye weapon to send an explosive EMP to London, destroying all computers and financial records of the UK, sending it back to the middle ages. Great plan, great villain.

Second, Pierce Brosnan was Bond. Besides Connery, Brosnan is my favorite James Bond.

Also, it had the lovely Famke Jenssen. She played Xenia, a military expert and assistant to Trevelyan who killed her male targets by seducing them, fucking their brains out so hard, it killed them. How hot is that?


It had an epic final confrontation between 007 and 006 that made this movie one of the few Bond films I can watch over and over again.

Now though, onto my #1, and that is…

#1: You Only Live Twice

This movie is flawless. Gun fights, beautiful women, creative plot, great action scenes, Sean Connery as Bond. Above all else, we finally see the face of #1, the leader of SPECTRE, James Bonds arch nemesis, Ernst Stavro Blofeld…

This dude is fucking evil. In this film, he builds a space craft that literally swallows up USSR and USA crafts in orbit. His plan is to get the two super powers of the world to go to war, destroy each other, than rise from the ashes of World War 3 as the worlds ruler. How sick is that plan? Of course Bond saves the day, but not without an all out epic gun fight in an active volcano.

Blofeld escapes, but returns in future Bond films. This version of Blofeld was the inspiration for Mike Myers’ Dr. Evil creation in his Austin Powers movie’s. I can’t speak any highly more of this film other than to strongly suggest you see this movie. If this doesn’t make you a fan of Bond, nothing will.

That is my top 7 Bond films, now let the comments fly!

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