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The Good and Bad of Voorhees

November 26, 2020 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Voorhees

The Good and Bad of Voorhees

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Voorhees is a Friday the 13th fan movie directed and co-written by Cody Faulk (he co-wrote the movie with Chris Plaushin). The movie debuted on YouTube this past Halloween, October 31st, 2020. Basically, it’s a movie about a band of bank robbers who, after completing a big job, decide to hide out in the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. While on the way to the camp the gang also kidnaps a young woman named Elena (Eileen Sugameli) and her friend (I don’t remember her name), presumably as insurance, just in case the cops show up. Now, the audience knows that hiding out in the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake is a huge goddamn mistake because of the ongoing presence of Jason Voorhees, but no one outside of the lead gang guy Blaine (Dan Young) seems to know anything about the camp. You can guess how well that works out for just about everyone.

Now, while all of that is going on, there’s a whole subplot involving two asshole cops (I believe they are Chief Knoxx, played by Christopher Inlow, and Deputy Walker, played by Christopher Gordon Scott) who act corruptly and want the money that was stolen. Or something like that. I don’t really understand why they’re in the movie at all.

And so, without any further what have you, what’s good and what’s bad about Voorhees?

The Good

Looks like a real movie: I said this about the previous two Friday the 13th/Jason fan movies I reviewed, and it bears repeating here: Voorhees looks amazing. From the cinematography to the set design to the lighting (there are some iffy dark scenes but they’re not distracting) to the sound, Voorhees looks like a real movie. Director Faulk and company clearly put a ton of love and effort into the production, and it shows that these moviemakers could make a great original movie if they ever decide to do that.

The score: The score by Adrian Emond is the kind of movie music that you want to listen to all by itself, divorced from the movie. At the same time, as part of the movie, it enhances the suspense and tone of the horror on display and is something that, I’d imagine, more fan movies will try to emulate in the future. Just like the look of Voorhees, the score for the movie is top notch stuff. And check this out: you can listen to Emond’s score on his website here. How cool is that?

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Jason is imposing and scary as hell: As portrayed by Jordan Blanco, the Jason we see in Voorhees is a gigantic, scary as hell force of nature. Using the Jason played by Derek Mears in the Friday the 13th reboot as direct inspiration, Jason comes off as a monster that you wouldn’t want to meet, well, anywhere, but especially in the woods or near the abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. You can smell the water logged dank coming off of him through the screen (and the first time we see Jason he pops up out of the water, so that’s just nasty). Amazing stuff.

The “Norman” character: Norman, as played by Neil Freuen, is a sort of mountain man guy in the woods that knows all about Jason and “Jason’s territory. Norman’s presence is a breath of fresh air compared to the other characters in the movie (I’ll get to them in a second). Norman is funny and interesting and deserved much better than dying via strangulation at the end. I mean, when you have a character like Norman you want to keep him around, just in case you do a sequel and need someone who will nail every scene they’re in. Norman is that kind of character, and Freuen is clearly that kind of performer. He needs to be in more movies, “real” movies or fan movies, it doesn’t matter.

The Bad

The plot isn’t clear: When the movie started and Elena and her friend were kidnapped by Blaine’s gang I had no idea what was going on. Who were these criminal people? Why was one of the wounded? And why the hell did they kidnap Elena and her friend? Why was doing that important to whatever it is they’re doing? We don’t find out what, precisely, is going on until well into the movie, and it’s annoying that we have to wait as long as we do.

Why is the big plan to hide out in Camp Crystal Lake?: And then there’s the whole “let’s hide out in Camp Crystal Lake” thing, which makes no sense. Because why wouldn’t the cops, who would be in hot pursuit looking for a gang of bank robbers, not look in the abandoned summer camp? And even if the Crystal Lake area is “rural”, with the number of people Blaine uses to jack the place, why wouldn’t the state cops show up immediately and help look for the perpetrators? The big plan, to me, makes no sense at all. Or am I missing something? I don’t think I am.

Almost every character in the movie is a reprehensible fucking scumbag: With the exception of Elena, her friend (she gets slaughtered by Jason after she escapes the gang’s captivity), Norman, and maybe Derek (James Daniel Masten), every character in this movie is just awful. And when I say awful I mean they are incredibly unpleasant to experience. None of them are the least bit interesting or charismatic at all. I get why they’re so awful; they’re a bunch of bad guy criminals that robbed a bank and took two women hostage. But we also spend a great deal of time with these characters and, as such, it would be great if we could at least like watching them being bad guys. We don’t though. They’re just reprehensible. Now, what’s weird is, when Jason does show up and kill them it isn’t a release for the audience. Watching the bad guys die via the hands of a guy who is infinitely, for the lack of a better word, badder, is just sad and depressing. It shouldn’t be that way, especially in a slasher movie like this. The audience should be happy when these assholes die, but instead it’s just something that happens.

Off screen sex? Why?: Real Friday the 13th movies are known the world over for their sex and violence, and from what I’ve seen in the few Friday the 13th fan movies that I’ve seen the moviemakers are more interested in the violence than the sex, so I was surprised when it looked like Voorhees was going to have a sex scene in it. There’s a bit of build to it happening, and then… it doesn’t happen. Well, the sex happens between criminals Travis (William Bishop) and Brandy (Erica Jones) but it happens off screen. That seems just wrong and a big cheat. Now, I get it, if you’re going to put your movie on YouTube for free and you want loads of people to see it you have to abide by YouTube’s standards and practices and nudity is against the rules. But what’s wrong with “sexy underwear” scenes? That isn’t against the rules and it fulfills, at least, the spirit of what the real Friday the 13th movies had to offer. So what the hell, man? Why promise something you have no intention of delivering?

The two hick cops: As I said before, I have no idea why these characters are in the movie and why they take up so much of it. They’re not interesting, they’re not entertaining in any way whatsoever, and they just take away from the main story. So, again, why have them in the movie? It makes no sense to me.

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The movie is too long: Most Friday the 13th movies run around 90 minutes and, to me, that seems like the right running time for one of these movies. Anything longer than 90 minutes is just too long. Yes, there are a few Jason movies that run longer than 90 minutes, but the majority hit around that 90 minute mark. Voorhees is 99 minutes long, with around seven minutes of credits, meaning the story part of the running time is close to 90 minutes. Voorhees should be shorter, like 5-10 minutes shorter. There’s just too much time spent with reprehensible characters swearing and being awful and the movie just doesn’t need that. It should move quickly and swiftly and just get on with it. It would be one thing if the characters were fun to watch, but, again, they’re not. They’re all scumbags. It would serve the movie tremendously if it could find a way to be faster.

The “twist” ending is bullshit: The big twist ending isn’t as mind blowing as the movie wants you to believe it is, and it isn’t all that clever. It’s just a set up for a potential sequel and to let the audience know that Jason is eternal because, I guess, the audience was unaware of that beforehand. It’s absurd. There’s nothing wrong with just ending the movie with an actual ending and “killing” Jason because, as we all know from the “real” movies, he’s just going to come back again at some point anyway so you don’t have to “set up” anything. Voorhees has Jason triumphant at the end, which is not satisfying at all. Lame as fuck.

The movie is unpleasant: The overall Voorhees experience is just not fun at all. It’s ultimately a depressing slog of depravity and I have zero interest in ever watching it again, which is not what you want out of a Friday the 13th movie. I mean, watching the movie multiple times is part of the Friday the 13th nerd experience. You just don’t get that experience with Voorhees. Despite the obvious care that went into making the movie and the good things it does, the bad things vastly outweigh the good and Voorhees is just unpleasant. Again, that doesn’t work for a Friday the 13th movie.

Conclusion

Voorhees is a disappointment. As I said earlier, the movie does some things very well, but the bad outweighs the good by a considerable margin and it’s just not something you’re going to want to experience more than once. That’s not what Friday the 13th and Jason are all about. I am interested in seeing what director Cody Faulk and his team cook up next, though. They’re very talented moviemakers and they can clearly make a movie look good. Now all they have to do is make something that’s also entertaining.

Only see Voorhees if you’re curious about it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t get involved with it.

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Rating: 5.0/10.0

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

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Voorhees, Bryan Kristopowitz