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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 4.30.12 Issue #206 Lockout (2012)

April 30, 2012 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #206: Lockout (2012)

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that doesn’t believe in cheeseburgers, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number two hundred and six, I take a look at the biggish budget sci-fi action flick that may still be playing in a theatre near you, Lockout, starring the great Guy Pearce and directed by James Mather and Stephen St. Leger.

Lockout (2012)

Lockout is the kind of movie I wish the big Hollywood studios would make more often. It’s a sci-fi action romp that doesn’t try to change the world, doesn’t try to be anything more than entertainment, and doesn’t overstay its welcome by being overly long and ridiculously convoluted. The story is a little too dense at first, but as the movie pushes forward it all starts to make a kind of sense. I probably wouldn’t have gone with the sort of “twist” ending that the movie goes with, but I don’t mind the ending as much as I would have in a decidedly less entertaining movie.

The movie stars Pearce as Snow, a special government agent falsely accused of murder and being a traitor against the United States. Snow is about to be sent away when he is asked to rescue the U.S. President’s daughter Emilie (Maggie Grace), who is being held hostage on M.S. One, an international maximum security prison floating in low Earth orbit. Emilie went up to M.S. One on a sort of humanitarian mission to examine the prison’s living conditions and to find out if the cryogenic freezing process used to incapacitate the prisoners has any long lasting ill effects. Things get out of hand quickly aboard M.S. One after Emilie interviews Hydell (Joseph Gilgun), a psycho that manages to overpower Emilie’s Secret Service protection, steal the agent’s hidden ankle gun, and kill a bunch of prison guards. Before any kind of panic button can be pushed, Hydell has prison technicians release hundreds of his fellow prisoners, including his level headed (for a criminal) and loving brother Alex (Vincent Regan).

Now, not everyone in the U.S. government wants Snow to go up to M.S. One. Langral (Peter Stormare), the head of the Secret Service, wants Snow out of the picture entirely as he isn’t sure Snow can be trusted (Langral keeps claiming that he knows Snow killed a man in cold blood, he saw him shoot a man with his own eyes, but then you’re never really sure if Langral is lying about what he really knows). Secret Service agent Shaw (the great Lennie James) is Snow’s biggest backer, the one who first suggests sending Snow up. You can almost call Shaw Snow’s friend, one of the few Snow actually has. But Shaw has no real decision making ability. Shaw has to convince both the President and Langral that Snow is the man for the job.

But then Snow isn’t up for rescuing the President’s daughter out of patriotism or anything like that. If he rescues Emilie, Snow gets his freedom. Snow also wants to go up to M.S. One to meet with Mace (Tim Plester), Snow’s other friend and the guy he may have sent up to M.S One by accident (Mace was Snow’s “accomplice” when Snow was arrested). Mace may have information that Snow needs to both prove his innocence and send a possible mole inside the Secret Service to prison.

As I said, the movie is a little dense at the beginning as we find out who is who and what’s going on. The futuristic Earth the story takes place in (it’s allegedly 2079) shifts from obvious green screen CGI stuff to real sets. The big hooha motorcycle chase is a great example of how the movie shifts back and forth. It goes by so quickly you can barely tell what’s going on, but if you slowed the movie down you’d likely see all sorts of hazy computer cartoon type stuff. The real sets have that dirty plastic look about them. They’re real, but they have an artificiality to them that suggests the movie is taking place in the future. The space scenes are well done, and the M.S. One floating prison and the Space Police floating HQ are two of the coolest CGI models I think I’ve ever seen in a sci-fi movie. The inside of the prison is at times overwhelmingly massive, with row after row of freeze chambers. I’m interested to see how well the size of the prison and the police HQ translates to the small screen when the movie eventually hits DVD. Will it still look good?

The flick’s action scenes are a bit hit and miss. Most of them are well staged, but, I assume, because of the need for a PG-13 rating many of the gun battles and fight scenes seem like they’ve been cut down to minimize any on screen blood or nasty aftermath. Of course, there’s a chance that Mather and St. Leger always intended to have quick cut action scenes where you can’t see what the heck is going on. I guess we’ll have to wait to see what was cut out when the “unrated” DVD hits stores (because you just know there’s going to be an unrated DVD eventually).

Pearce is great as Snow. Sort of riffing on Kurt Russell’s iconic performance as Snake Plissken in John Carpenter’s Escape from New York and Escape from L.A. and Stallone’s performance as Lt. Marion “Cobra” Cobretti in Cobra (you’ll get the Cobra reference at the end of the movie), Pearce’s Snow is a consummate badass and smart ass all rolled into one. Snow has plenty of great one liners, especially in the interrogation scene that opens the movie. Pearce also has great chemistry with Grace, as they have an easy antagonistic back-and-forth as soon as they meet. Pearce’s smart ass attitude could easily have been transformed into some sort of knowing, wink wink performance, but he keeps things in check and never lets on that he’s in a movie. You get the sense that Snow is just a smart ass with the badass chops to back it up. I would absolutely love to see Pearce again as Snow in some kind of sequel. I doubt that’ll happen as the movie, as far as I know, hasn’t made much money, but it sure as heck would be cool to see Snow again.

Maggie Grace does a great job as Emilie, the President’s daughter. She’s head strong, she doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she also has a heart. She only wants to do the right thing. It doesn’t work out all that well for her (she does get captured in a space prison by a psychopath) but you’re still kind of glad that she made the effort. The great Lennie James does his usual, well, great job as Shaw. Peter Stormare is his usual sleazebag self as Langral. You don’t like him, you’re not sure what his deal really is, and you’re just itching to see him go down.

Vincent Regan does a decent enough job as Alex, the leader of the prison rebellion. He’s a cold blooded killer and a piece of shit but he’s also somewhat reasonable. If you had to you could negotiate with the guy. I find that somewhat comforting. Joseph Gilgun is absolutely terrifying as Hydell. You can’t understand half of what he says (he has a thick Irish accent) but you know not to mess with him. How his brother Alex ever dealt with him is a mystery. Hydell is also physically messed up, apparently burned and perpetually dirty. The man’s face will no doubt grace the front of a T-shirt one day. He’s that scary looking.

Lockout isn’t anything special, but then it doesn’t try to be. It’s meant to be entertainment, and it succeeds at that brilliantly. Guy Pearce’s Snow would make for a great franchise, sort of like the Snake Plissken movies or even the Riddick movies. I doubt it will happen, but then I can always hope, right?

If Lockout is still playing where you live, go see it. It’s definitely worth checking out. Long line Snow!

See Lockout. See it, see it, see it.

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Thousands

Explosions: Several

Nudity?: None.

Doobage: Cigarette smoking, several massive punches to the face, a bloody nose, a flashback to a futuristic New York City, toilet seat to the face, a serious bathroom beat down, a bullet to the head, a special suitcase, SWAT team destruction, a police chopper attack, rocket through the wall, a big one wheel motorcycle, an insane police chase, exploding police chopper, power line hooey, net attack, more cigarette smoking, gun dropping, cup shooting, an underground White House, a gigantic floating space prison, a gigantic floating Space Police HQ, rows and rows of “stasis” chambers, prisoner abuse, a hidden gun, a big explosion, a full scale prison riot, attempted sleeping gas, escape pod hooey, a bomb necklace, a prisoner shank fight, guy pushed out of an air lock, attempted negotiation, a quick space walk, bullet to the face, shotgun hooey, fire extinguisher hooey, a nitrogen alert, a big ass churning thing, a fist fight in mid-air, needle through the eye, urination, a little bomb, a laser sight bomb, attempted fellatio, wound fixing, a funny bit about a coin surplus, a nerve shot, impromptu hair dying, more face punching, a guy with teeth tattooed around his mouth, door welding, a misplace life monitor, a frozen dead body in space, a milk pouch, a weird room filled with dead bodies, blast to the chest, guy falling down an elevator shaft, knife to the chest, a big special effects space ship fight, a makeshift flame thrower with face burning, a space suit jump, exploding building, a final interrogation, and a nifty ending that sort of sets up a Snow franchise.

Kim Richards?: No.

Gratuitous: Guy Pearce, Guy Pearce smoking a cigarette, a bleeding nose, Peter Stormare, a flashback, a special suitcase, an insane police chase, Lennie James, an underground White House, a floating space prison, a floating police HQ, a full scale prison riot, a prison shank fight, attempted negotiation, guy pushed out of an air lock, a nitrogen alert, a laser sight bomb, urination, door welding, a weird room filled with dead bodies, the 25th Amendment, a special effects space ship fight, a tandem parachute, a final interrogation, and a nifty ending that sort of sets up a Snow franchise.

Best lines: “You’re a real comedian, aren’t you, Snow? I guess that’s why they call it the punch line,” “I’m being beat up by a guy named Rupert?,” “God, I hate heights,” “You know what they say about being put under? They say some minds just can’t handle it. I’m actually looking forward to it,” “Hock, stay out of this, please,” “You don’t mess with your poker chips,” “It’s okay. You go to sleep now,” “So, do you like working in space?,” “Look, if you’re going to shit yourself now would be a good time,” “Crawl back under your stone,” “You said I could trust you!,” “Do something useful. Go find that man and kill him,” “The answer to all of our problems lies behind this door,” “We’re going to need a new engineer. This one has sprung a leak,” “You’re really a lot of fun, you know that?,” “Are you thrilled about yourself all of the time or is it a part time job?,” “Here’s an apple and a gun. Don’t talk to strangers. Shoot them,” “You can’t smoke in here. All evidence to the contrary,” “You always treat women this way? Yeah, well, the ones I like,” “Jesus, I thought you were a Democrat!,” “Is this your idea of keeping a promise?,” “Stop killing people,” “Is anybody hiding? Because I’ll find you!,” “Don’t move. Oh, God, I hate that,” “Do you know what you’ve done?,” “So, all this trouble for an empty briefcase? Yeah, well, don’t let it keep you up at night.”

Rating: 8.0/10.0


The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!

Please check out The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page, which can be seen here. There’s not much there at the moment, but, as time goes by, expect to see daily questions and musings and other B-movie hooey. And it would be cool if you “liked” it, too.

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page! Yeah!


Don’t forget, this Saturday is Free Comic Book Day!

Go to for details and to find your local comic book shop.

Free Comic Book Day! Participate!


Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 1

Haywire: This is an okay action flick. It has its moments and is definitely worth checking out at least once, but isn’t anything groundbreaking. The best thing about it is its star, newcomer Gina Carano. Check out my review for the flick here and then go rent it. Again, it’s worth checking out at least once.

Transformers Japanese Collection: Super God Masterforce: I’m going to assume this is some sort of Transformers cartoon that was made exclusively for Japan and other international territories back in the 1980’s. Of course, it could have aired in America, too, and I just don’t remember watching it. Either way, I’m always in the mood for cartoons from the 1980’s. It’s a nostalgia thing, even if I don’t remember ever once seeing it.

Invisible Man: The Complete Series: I don’t know much about this 1970’s series beyond it starred David McCallum and it only lasted a season. The special effects shown in the opening look pretty dang cool, though. Did this air at some point on the old Sci-Fi Channel, when the Sci-Fi Channel was the Sci-Fi Channel and aired old TV shows and whatnot? Did anyone watch it then?

Benson: Season 2: Benson is one of my favorite 1980’s sitcoms, and it’s a damn shame that TV Land doesn’t air the show anymore (because the world apparently needs to see reruns of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition instead). Robert Guillaume rocks. Great, great stuff.


TV Quick Hits

Thoughts on The Client List: This new Lifetime drama starring Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t a bad show (at least the pilot wasn’t bad. I haven’t seen the show’s second episode yet), but I am a little disappointed in the show’s basic lack of Jennifer Love Hewitt walking around in her underwear. I mean, her character is supposed to be a sort of high priced call girl/escort/prostitute, right? I know she’s a massage therapist by trade, but that’s not why Loretta Devine’s character hired her. Or am I missing something?

Yeah, yeah, I know, the show airs on Lifetime, a basic cable network geared towards women, and I should know better than to trust advertising of any kind. But think about what kind of ratings this show would get if it really was all about Jennifer Love Hewitt walking around in her underwear for an hour each week? Young males 18-49, the most coveted demographic in the world, would tune in droves. Suddenly, Lifetime would have to expand its scope of programming. “Male” shows would have to appear on the schedule.

Aha. I think I just answered my own question as to why The Client List isn’t as “sexy” as it should be. Lifetime is in the business of appealing to women. Jennifer Love Hewitt walking around in her underwear for an hour a week is only going to appeal to a certain segment of that desired female audience. The show is going to have to be about “other” stuff, too. Kids and work and bills and rivalries with fellow females.

FX should have developed The Client List. That seems pretty obvious right now, doesn’t it?

I really hope NBC doesn’t cancel Harry’s Law: NBC hasn’t officially announced what it plans to do with the Kathy Bates led drama comedy lawyer show Harry’s Law, but just about everyone seems to think the Peacock network is going to cancel the show. It doesn’t reach the desired young person demographics, it skews too old, it’s too expensive, etc. But then the show does get around 8 million viewers a week, it sometimes reaches the top 20 shows, and it has award potential (Kathy Bates has been nominated for the show already), so there’s a chance NBC might keep it, right? Right?

I didn’t like the changes David E. Kelley and company made for the show’s second season (the show went from a relatively small lawyer show into a Boston Legal type show starring Kathy Bates) but I still like it. It’s still funny and still interesting. And why does every show have to appeal to that coveted young demographic? Why can’t NBC, or really any broadcast network, try to build a slightly different kind of audience? Older people buy shit, too. There are companies out there looking to spend money on commercials. Isn’t that the ultimate point of the TV business? To make money? Why does it matter where the money comes from?

I don’t understand the world sometimes. I just don’t.

IFC’s Saturday afternoon “drive-in movie” gimmick is cool and all, but it’s missing something…

And you know what it’s missing? Joe Bob Briggs hosting the movies.

Joe Bob is a perfect fit for the network’s new hip and edgy comedian thing. He’s a known commodity, people will watch him, and he’s funny. What else does IFC need?

Come on, IFC, hire Joe Bob Briggs to host the Saturday afternoon drive-in movie thing. It’ll be great.


The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Theme of the Week



And now, the weekly Fearnet update

Fearnet, the only free all horror/thriller On Demand TV network features uncut, uncensored horror flicks from the past and present 24 hours a day, seven days a week, pretty much any time you freaking want them (as long as you still have power, that is). The channel also has behind-the-scenes stuff, trailers, and other cool hooey for you to check out (like the new original series Holliston, which airs at 10:30pm est tomorrow night, Tuesday). Check your local cable listings for availability (According to the Fearnetwebsite more and more Time Warner areas are getting the channel. Be sure to go here to see if Fearnet is coming to your area).

Fearnet also exists as a regular old TV channel. This Fearnet airs horror movies roughly twenty one hours a day (there is a block of infomercials in the morning, usually from 6-9am est). The movies shown do have “commercial breaks” in them, similar to the breaks that currently appear on IFC, but the movies are uncut (blood and boobs and cursing are all intact).

Fearnet’s website,, offers free movies, interviews, news, and other behind-the-scenes horror movie nerd stuff, too. The incredibly awful American Psycho 2: All American Girl was on the site last week. Is it still there? Check and see).

The website also features Post Mortem with Mick Garris, a nifty interview show where big, fat Stephen King’s favorite director talks with genre legends like John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Roger Corman, William Friedkin, and others. It’s definitely worth your time.

If you’re a Facebook nerd (and, really, today, who isn’t?) you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Join them. And, as always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement.


The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Babe of the Week: Summer Glau

The Dead Want Women: Old zombie ghosts from the 1920’s want women or something. It looks kind of goofy, but the girls starring in it are nice looking and, apparently, Eric Roberts shows up in it as one of those zombie ghosts. The flick is from Charles Band and Full Moon Pictures (or Features or whatever the heck Band is calling Full Moon now).

Rise of the Animals: This mega low budget horror flick has one of the greatest posters/DVD covers of all time (check out that squirrel eating a human eyeball) and looks pretty dang nifty. Deer and whatnot attacking people in the woods? I am so freaking there. And check out the trailer below. Can a movie possibly get any more awesome?

Operation: Nazi Zombies: This mega low budget horror action flick looks like a blast. American Special Forces up against Nazi zombies? Holy hooey that sounds cool.

Thunderstorm: The Return of Thor: I have no idea why this movie is called The Return of Thor as it doesn’t appear to be a sequel to anything. But it looks pretty dang cool for a mega low budget sci-fi action fantasy movie, and on that basis alone it’s worth checking out.


The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week

This week, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week goes to former Speaker of the House, soon to be former 2012 Republican Presidential candidate, and Douchebag Hall of Famer Newt Gingrich, for announcing that he would end his campaign this week and endorse Romney for President. How many times did Newt say during the primaries that he would press on no matter what, that he would take his campaign to the convention in Tampa and that the Republican party needed a “real conservative” to beat President Obama in November? Why does all of that stuff suddenly not matter? How is Governor Romney a “real conservative,” or conservative enough, now when he wasn’t good enough a week ago?

It was fun while it lasted, though, right? Is that why you’re not ending your campaign this week as opposed to last week, when you didn’t win the Delaware primary?

So now Newt will be on Fox News every day and NBC’s Meet the Press practically every week to shill for Romney and, again, he’ll suddenly matter. I really wanted him to stick it out, to keep campaigning like Ron Paul, just so he’d disappear from the media and we’d get a break from his bullshit. But, again, now that he’ll be out he’ll be everywhere again. I am not looking forward to that at all.

Come on, Newt, change your mind and keep fighting and stay off my TV. Take the fight to Tampa!

And then there’s Douchebag Hall of Famer Sean Hannity, for claiming that he has poor friends who “eat rice and beans all week.” Hannity made the claim during his radio show last week when a caller asked him if he though Willard “Mitt” Romney had ever gone to bed hungry and Hannity said no (Hannity also said that he doesn’t believe there are hungry people in America because poor people have TV’s and DVD players and whatnot, which is one of the dumbest fucking things I’ve ever heard). Do you really think that Hannity has poor friends who eat “cheap” food all week? I don’t know Hannity personally, but I can assure that you Sean doesn’t know or interact with anyone who isn’t rich or incredibly wealthy (well, outside of the poor bastards that work for him at Fox News and on his radio show, people he probably threatens to fire like his Fox buddy Bill O’Reilly in the event that his taxes go up). It’s just ludicrous for him to say so, and I wish the liberal media would call him on it.

But then when was the last time the “liberal” media actually did its alleged job and destroyed a conservative political commentator for being a douchebag piece of shit?

Sean Hannity: the man has no shame. Absolutely none.

And finally there’s the ultra right wing Republican media machine, for complaining about President Obama’s appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. By participating in Fallon’s “Slow Jamming the News” bit, President Obama apparently “disrespected” and “damaged” the office of the President. But then that’s what President Obama has been doing all along, right? He’s just a celebrity, not a serious person who wants to help hard working American families, right? He’s in over his head!

But then you have to wonder how it’s possible for President Obama to be a celebrity dumbass in over his head when he’s also an ultra left wing socialist psychopath engineering the end of American capitalism so he can then turn America into Venezuela 2 (or China 2 or Europe 2. It depends on who is scarier at the moment). Don’t you have to be kind of smart and engaged in order to do something like that?

The right wing media machine really needs to make up its mind so I know what bullshit to believe. How am I going to make an informed decision in November if they don’t have their bullshit straight? How?

Where the hell is the “liberal” media when we need it?


NASCAR and Indycar thoughts

The NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Richmond last Saturday night had plenty of side-by-side racing, plenty of whining from 3-time champion Tony Stewart, and plenty of stupid calls from NASCAR itself. Kyle Busch ended up in victory lane, his fourth straight spring Richmond win and his first win of the season (that seems weird to say, doesn’t it?), beating Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Stewart to the finish line. Busch had a good car all night (he usually runs well at Richmond) but I didn’t think he’d win. I figured it would be either Stewart, another guy who usually runs well at Richmond, or Carl Edwards, who led, I believe, the most laps but was penalized for jumping the start after a scoring mistake by NASCAR. Edwards was black flagged and eventually ended up finishing tenth.

It just makes absolutely no sense to me. Edwards was shown as the race leader right before he “jumped the start” (you can’t jump the start if you’re the race leader) but was then penalized as soon as NASCAR realized it made a mistake. Why didn’t NASCAR just throw the caution, line everyone up, and go from there? That would have made more sense. Who gives a fuck if caution laps count and all that? If Tony Stewart was the real leader at that moment, just put him back up front, make sure Edwards knows he’s starting second, and go from there. Why is that so hard to do?

Oh, I forgot, NASCAR can’t figure out how to finish the race under green without causing mass confusion for itself. How the fuck is it going to be able to figure out how to unfuck its own mistake?

That debris caution that Stewart commented on after the race, the one for the water bottle on the track, was a little weird. But then “debris” cautions have always been weird. And what’s the deal with all of the “competition” yellows? Was it really necessary to have a competition caution to check on the tires because of the rain earlier in the day? What kind of bullshit is that?

Juan Pablo Montoya actually had a decent race at Richmond, his least favorite track. He was up front for most of the race, running often in the top ten. He ended up finishing 12th, likely because of that last restart, but it was a good result in general for the Ganassi driver. Jimmie Johnson once again battled through the field and ended up with a top ten finish. Johnson’s teammate Jeff Gordon had a bad night, suffering from tire problems early on and damaging the right side of his car in the process. He lost serious time in the pits making repairs under green and ended up 23rd, one lap down. What the heck does Gordon have to do to catch a break?

Pole sitter Mark Martin had a decent race, finishing eighth and threatening for the win. His teammate Martin Truex, Jr, who ran well last week at Kansas, had a terrible night and finished 25th. And Denny Hamlin, who is usually a factor at Richmond, finished fourth but seemed a little off. What the heck did he suffer from.

Tony Stewart needs to get a grip. Pit stop mistakes happen sometimes. You don’t get ticked off, you don’t flip out, you just push forward and “work on it.” The NASCAR world had to suffer through Kevin Harvick’s pit crew bullshit last year and the year before that. We don’t need to go through it again with you, Tony. Just calm the fuck down and count your money. You’ve got lots of it. Lots and lots of it.

I missed most of the Nationwide race Friday night, but I did get to see the last few laps. I really thought Denny Hamlin was going to dump eventual winner Kurt Busch, but shockingly he didn’t do that. Hamlin didn’t run Busch up to the wall, either, something you see often at Richmond when there’s a chance for a close, side-by-side race finish. Danica Patrick had a miserable race, finishing 21st, but X-Games star Travis Pastrana, in his first NASCAR start, finished 22nd, two laps down. For his first time that’s not bad. Not bad at all.

Talladega is up next for both the Nationwide series and Sprint Cup series. Nationwide races on Saturday, and Cup on Sunday afternoon. Will we see the big packs again or will the tandem racing scheme return?

Over in Indycar, the Sao Paulo 300 street race in Sao Paulo, Brazil was, as expected, terrible. The start of the race was actually pretty decent as the cars were able to line up two-by-two. The restarts were also decent, too, as, again, the cars were able to actually line up two-by-two. The racing itself was awful. Drivers could get alongside one another but very little real passing was happening on the track. It doesn’t make much sense since the Sao Paulo street course is so wide, but it’s what happened. Will Power picked up his third straight win of the year and his third straight win in Brazil. Andretti Autosport driver Ryan Hunter-Reay finished second, and RLL driver Takuma Sato finished third, his best finish of the year.

Sato’s performance was easily the story of the race. He’s run well all year but he hasn’t been able to produce a decent finish. Dario Franchitti had another dismal day, getting caught up in an accident that essentially ruined his chances of winning. Franchitti did finish fifth at the end, but he probably should have been running for the win. Probably. Franchitti’s teammate Scott Dixon got screwed over in the pits and then got caught up in a late race pile up and ended up 17th. He probably should have been competing for the win, too.

Charlie Kimball had an okay day, finishing eighth. Local hero Rubens Barichello finished tenth, although he did look kind of racy there for a while. And Ed Carpenter had one of his better runs. He finished 21st, which certainly isn’t a great finish, but if you look at the entire race Carpenter was able to hold his own and, on occasion, make passing attempts down the course’s long straight-aways. Good job, Ed.

Ana Beatriz, in her first of two races driving for Andretti, finished 20th but always seemed to be getting some kind of penalty either for speeding in the pits or for “avoidable contact” on the track. And what the heck was Ryan Briscoe thinking trying to negotiate that corner with the front end of the car bouncing in the air?

Justin Wilson just can’t catch a break. He just can’t.

Up next for the Indycars is qualifying for the Indy 500. Pole day is May 19th, and Bump Day is the 20th. There’s a possibility of a “short” field this year, as Newman Haas dropped out (the team claims it didn’t have enough time to get ready for the race). Don’t be surprised if teams with back up cars start making deals for one off drivers with sponsors. Of course, if the engine availability problems that Speed’s Robin Miller keeps talking about keep up, maybe there won’t be. We’ll see. All qualifying will be on the NBC Sports Network, and the actual race will be on ABC. Carb Day and the Freedom 100 Indy Lights race will be on Friday, May 25th.


Well, I think that’ll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that.

If there’s anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I’m always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.

And don’t forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You’ll be glad you did.


Guy Pearce– Snow
Maggie Grace– Emilie Warnock
Vincent Regan– Alex
Joseph Gilgun– Hydell
Lennie James– Shaw
Peter Stormare– Langral
Tim Plester– Mace
Peter Hudson– President Warnock

Directed by James Mather and Stephen St. Leger
Screenplay by Stephen St. Leger, James Mather, and Luc Besson, based on an “original idea” by Luc Besson

Distributed by Open Road Films

Rated PG-13for intense sequences of violence and action, and language including some sexual references, and smoking
Runtime– 95 minutes



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Bryan Kristopowitz

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