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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column 8.6.12 Issue #219: Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

August 6, 2012 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #219: Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that doesn’t taste like a baked potato with all of the fixings (it actually tastes more like a two day old slice of pizza from that local place down the street, or at least that’s what people have told me), The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number two hundred and nineteen, I take a look at the badass 1983 ninja action flick starring the Sho Kosugi, Revenge of the Ninja, directed by the great Sam Firstenberg.

Revenge of the Ninja (1983)

Revenge of the Ninja, the second movie in the so-called “Ninja trilogy that started with 1981’s Enter the Ninja and ended with 1984’s Ninja III: The Domination, stars the Sho Kosugi as Cho Osaki, an old school Japanese doll artist/ninja master that decides to go and live in America after most of his family is killed in a dastardly ninja attack (we see a ninja launch a throwing star into a kid’s forehead). With the help of his American businessman friend Braden (Arthur Roberts), Cho brings his mother (played by Grace Oshita) and his young son Kane (Kane Kosugi) to America and sets up shop in Los Angeles. Life in LA is decent, at least at first, as Cho establishes himself as a maker and seller of old Japanese dolls. Various art galleries want to display them, and because of the techniques and whatnot used to make them, the dolls are much sought after. Cho also gets to continue his ninja/karate study, teaching various people how to kick ass (Baden’s mega hot blond girlfriend Cathy, played by Ashley Ferrare, is one Cho’s students). Little does Cho know, though, that Braden is using his Japanese doll business to smuggle heroin into the United States, that Braden is in cahoots with various local mobsters, mainly old mob boss Chifano (Mario Gallo), and that Braden is himself a master ninja assassin. When Cho finds out what his pal has been up to and is capable of, he decides to go back on his vow of non-violence, a vow that he made when he arrived in America, and destroy everything evil in his path.

One of the first things you’ll likely notice while watching Revenge of the Ninja is just how dang weird it is. Just about every voice is dubbed, or at least comes across as dubbed. The story doesn’t make much sense but you can still follow what’s going on. And the flick’s opening is one of the most brazenly violent openings in movie history. Absolutely no one is safe from the ninja’s weapons. It really doesn’t matter if you’re a kid in this cinematic universe. You’re fair game. And then there’s the whole “American ninja master with the silver mask” thing. It’s actually kind of scary. I remember watching this movie as a kid on HBO and being terrified by the idea of a ninja wearing a silver mask. Isn’t it enough that the ninja has a sword, various weird beard throwing weapons, spikes, and ropes and stuff. He also has a silver mask that he can use to hypnotize people? What the hell is that about?

And then there’s the scene where a guy and his girlfriend drown and die while still “attached” to one another while in a hot tub. That’s freaking messed up. I know that the ninja is all about assassinations and, if possible, killing people quietly, but while a guy is banging his girlfriend/mistress while in the hot tub? Come on, man, the ninja could have waited until they were both out of the hot tub. The girl had nice boobs, too, so that in and of itself is messed up. And then there’s the attempted rape scene featuring Ferrare’s Cathy and the great Professor Toru Tanaka where Tanaka is wearing a sumo diaper and trying to straddle a screaming Cathy. The scene could give you nightmares. I know it’s still giving me nightmares and it’s been several days since I watched the movie. On one hand I applaud director Firstenberg and screenwriter James R. Silke for putting weird stuff in the movie. But on the other hand, good God, did we really need to see Tanaka in that goddamn diaper? What the hell is wrong with trying to rape a woman in a ninja movie while wearing a robe?

The flick’s various fight scenes are all top notch affairs. The general brutality of the opening massacre isn’t topped with the later action scenes, but Kosugi, who also choreographed the movie’s fight scenes, makes every action bit count. My favorite scene, besides the final confrontation between Cho and Braden, is the scene where Cho chases after a band of thieves who have stolen his collection of Japanese dolls. Cho gets incredibly dirty, loses a large portion of the front part of his pants, and gets ejected from a moving vehicle after it stops suddenly, but he keeps fighting and kicking ass like a machine. And the playground fight, where Cho is helped by his local cop buddy and fellow martial arts enthusiast Dave Hatcher (Keith Vitali) while taking down a bunch of random thugs. There’s a scene where a guy gets a throwing star to the hand that gave me the heebie jeebies back when I was a kid and still kind of freaks me out. I think it’s the color of the guy’s blood. The stuff looks like freaking goo.

Kosugi does his usual great job as Cho Osaki. He’s a dignified badass that you should never cross. Watching him mow through a gang of sadistic ninjas in the flick’s opening is a real treat. And his interaction with his son Kane, who does a decent job, too, is damn near heartwarming. The dubbing job on Kosugi’s voice is a tad bit ridiculous at first, but you get used to it after you realize that just about everyone else’s voice is dubbed, too. I’m a little disappointed in Cho not taking Cathy up on her sex offer, though. He’s a man of honor and whatnot, yes, but, dude, come on. Maybe if he knew that Braden was a total douchebag when she offered herself up he would have gone for it?

Roberts does an outstanding job as Braden. He comes across as a tough and upstanding American in the opening massacre, but then when you find out what he’s doing with Cho’s dolls you immediately hate him. You’re also likely to dig the guy’s sadism. Braden is a violent piece of shit that doesn’t give a shit about anyone. You just don’t see movie bad guys like that anymore. I would like to know why he keeps putting his various ninja weapons in that bag, though. Why wouldn’t he just fill the bag once with weapons and then only refill it in the event that he used a weapon and didn’t bring it back with him? It seems like a big waste of time to load the bag, unload it, then load it up again. I could understand doing that if you don’t plan on engaging in ninja activities all that often, but Braden is killing people as a ninja just about every day. I mean, is it some kind of ninja honor thing? Is that why he keeps having to pack his bag?

Keith Vitali, as cop Dave Hatcher, is kind of bland when he has to speak, but when he’s beating guys up he’s a bunch of fun to watch. Virgil Frye, as Lt. Dire, a homicide cop that gets dragged into the story after Braden kills Chifano’s nephew, is kind of boring, but then it really isn’t his fault. The guy just doesn’t have much to do. Mario Gallo is hysterical as mob boss Chifano. He’s a piece of shit like Braden, yes, but he’s funny. I do wish I didn’t have to watch him get a massage, though. That scene was pretty dang disturbing, too.

Ashley Ferrare is awesome as Cathy. She isn’t a great actress or anything, but she clearly knows her lines and that’s always a good thing. She’s also incredibly hot. That’s always a good thing, too. Grace Oshita does a decent job as Cho’s mother. She seems to disappear from the story for a little while, then pops up again to engage in some ninja hooey herself. Watch out for her stunt double, too. Freaking hilarious.

Revenge of the Ninja is an awesome action flick. It’s ridiculous and really doesn’t make much sense, but it gives you more than enough ninja action and violence to make up for its shortcomings. Great, great stuff. Sho Kosugi is God.

See Revenge of the Ninja. See it, see it, see it now. Fuck yeah.

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: 20+

Explosions: A few, but they’re all small “ninja smoke bomb” type explosions. They might not count as real explosions. I’ll have to think about that.

Nudity?: Yes. Some top notch female topless action in a hot tub.

Doobage: Fish feeding, five ninja blades to the back, a serious ninja massacre, throwing star to the head of a child, arrow through the chest, kama blade to the throat, .45 magnum hooey, a major secondary ninja attack, arrow catching, fighting inside a nest of bamboo plants, a five sword ninja attack, attempted small sword to the face, a special locket, a gang of young American thugs, hat stealing, dirt and grass clippings to the face, a sealed ninja sword, a hot karate sparring match, a lack of pants, old Japanese dolls, an impromptu ninja history lesson, a dangerous ninja doll, a heroin stuffed old Japanese doll, a very disturbing man massage, a silver masked ninja, a ninja attack inside a public bathroom, neck snap, knee kicking, ball kicking, a one-eyed homeless guy, throwing star to the eye, guy falling into a public fountain in slow motion, a porno magazine that might, in fact, be some kind of art book, hot tub sex, poison dart to the back, multiple drownings, an underground karate demonstration, people looking at x-rays, a brief history of Japanese bone breakers, coffee cup catching, a ridiculous Indian henchman, doll stealing, bag of soda cans to the back, more neck snapping, stair attack, slow motion crate to the back of the head, throwing knives, cardboard barrel attack, Sho Kosugi chasing after a van, windshield kicking, a massive head butt, slow motion fire hydrant destruction, a reverse neck breaker, Sho Kosugi getting dragged behind a van, an insane van stunt, attempted rape, a ninja grandmother, smoke blowing, dart to the chest, wall stabbing, kid running into a door, big truck tire hitting, bucket kicking, strangulation, glowing green eyes, a dreary funeral, loitering thugs, picnic table breaking, arm crushing, serious arm and wrist breaking, face pulling, a massive playground brawl, Japanese fan attack, mustache cutting, a ninja star belt buckle, ninja star to the hand with gooey blood, a hysterical adult on kid karate attack, metal rod attack, attempted reverse Kim Richards, bitch slapping, hot tub water torture, a special ninja gear box, a ninja prayer, an elaborate zip line, window smashing, lock picking, marbles and little metal spike things to the face, hand removal, climbing up the side of a building using hand spikes, multiple different metal spikes to the face, nunchuk hooey, rope burning, spikes to the eye, hatchet to the head, spike through the hand, gut stabbing, a rooftop ninja fight, slow motion leaps from tall buildings, more ninja praying, sword stealing, giant air conditioner fan attack, a ninja dummy, wrist slicing, sword against sword holder fight, knife into the chest, serious leg slicing, a ninja flamethrower, the sun’s reflection to the eyes, a massive chest blood geyser, mask splitting, and an abrupt ending.

Kim Richards?: Big time.

Gratuitous: Utah doubling as Tokyo, Japan, “jumpy” music, fish feeding, Sho Kosugi, kid killing, an American with a .45, Sho Kosugi catching three arrows in his bare hands, Sho Kosugi beating the crap out of multiple ninjas and not breaking a sweat, a special locket, a bad ass kid ninja, a hot blond chick, Sho Kosugi explaining the history of ninjas, old Japanese dolls, old Japanese dolls that are filled with heroin because they’re part of a bad guy’s massive worldwide drug scheme, a ninja wearing a silver mask, a ninja attack in a public bathroom, hot tub sex, Sho Kosugi catching a coffee cup before it spills, Professor Toru Tanaka, a bag of soda cans to the back, Professor Toru Tanaka attempting to rape a woman while wearing a sumo diaper, ninja hypnotism, glowing green eyes, picnic table breaking, a massive playground brawl, hot tub torture, multiple ninja prayers, a fat guy fucking around with nunchuks, a rooftop ninja fight, multiple ninja dummies, a ninja flamethrower, a massive chest blood geyser, mask splitting, and an abrupt ending.

Best lines: “Americans are going crazy over Japanese art now,” “Do you want to see your son dead?,” “I told you not to fight!,” “I did not bring him to America to fight with youths!,” “Balance! Power!,” “Cathy! You help me so much!,” “Hello, Cathy, how are you?,” “Money is easy to find, but good men? That’s another story,” “What’s happened, Catherine?,” “Tell your goons to move,” “Don’t fuck with the Japanese, Chifano,” “What the fuck is this, Halloween? Get the fuck out of here,” “Goddamn Japanese!,” “What the shit is this?,” “Ninja? Is that one of those martial arts things?,” “That sonofabitch!,” “I’m coming to get you Chifano!,” “Only a ninja can stop a ninja,” “You can stop an army with that bad bitch,” and “Hey! Look! Superman!”

Rating: 10.0/10.0

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: The Facebook Page!

Please check out The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page, which can be seen here. There’s not much there at the moment, but, as time goes by, expect to see daily questions and musings and other B-movie hooey. And it would be cool if you “liked” it, too.

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Facebook page! Yeah!

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Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 1

Strike Back: The Complete First Season: Well, it’s the first American season. The original first season, as far as I know, hasn’t aired in the United States. Anyway, this show kicks ass, and with its second American season a few weeks away this DVD set will no doubt be a good way to either get caught up on the show or finally watch it for the first time. Awesome stuff.

The Boogens: I don’t know much about this early 1980’s horror flick, but the trailer for it is a hoot, and according to wikipedia big, fat Stephen King liked it when he saw it. That’s a plus in the movie’s favor, isn’t it?

Yellow Rock: A low budget western starring Michael Biehn? Sounds like a good time at the movies if you ask me. Biehn has a natural bad ass look, and that’s what you need to have as the lead in a low budget western. Having an unknown actor in the lead is just too risky.

Laddaland: This is, according to imdb, a Thai horror movie. How often do we get to see that kind of thing here in America? Damned if I know. That’s why I’m asking you.

Mr. Hush: This is a low budget horror flick starring the guy that played Michael Myers in Halloween: Resurrection, the great Brad Loree. That’s a plus. And the trailer is one of the creepiest goddamn things I’ve seen in a good, long time. Go ahead and watch it and tell me you’re not creeped out by it. You can’t do it.

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More Things I’m Tired Of

The following is yet another list of Things I’m Tired Of. The annoying things appear in no particular order of importance. It’s just a list of Things I’m Tired Of. Enjoy.

That “New York State is now pro business” TV commercial featuring a voiceover by Robert DeNiro: The biggest problem I have with this commercial, other than the whole “it’s on every goddamn commercial break” thing, is the idea that Robert DeNiro speaks for the entire state of New York, or that he’s deeply in love with the whole state. I don’t personally know Mr. DeNiro, but I seriously doubt he’s hanging out in Buffalo and Watertown all that much. If this was a commercial about New York City I’d probably just be pissed off about having to see it every ten minutes. But it’s not. It’s meant to be about the whole state. Maybe New York’s Governor, Andrew Cuomo, should have done the voice over. I know, I know, he’s not a big mega celebrity like Bobby, but at least Cuomo shows up every now and then outside of Manhattan.

 

The “inspiring life stories” of America’s Olympic athletes: This shit comes up every two years and it never stops being nauseating. In fact, it’s the major reason I’ve stopped watching the Olympics, both the Winter and Summer ones. I just don’t care if a gymnast lost her grandmother in a bus accident and that’s what made her decide to go for it, or if an archer born without thumbs managed to both get a law degree and find the time to train. I am also not impressed by high school students refusing to accept major corporate endorsements because they want to stay on their high school teams. I could go on but you get the point. If you want to tell me what so and so did during the Olympic trials and what his or her overall record is, fine, but the life stories and the training stories and the rest of it is just unnecessary bullshit. Just concentrate on the competition and save the crapola for Dateline after the games are over.

Do other countries have to put up with this kind of shit with their Olympic TV coverage?

 

The “Tanning Mom”: Is this woman disgusting? Absolutely. Was her “tanning booth addiction” story ever all that interesting? Not really, but then not every day is chock full of incredibly important stuff. Sometimes, very little happens. And that’s what the “Tanning Mom” story was. A five minute diversion. Well, that’s what it should have been. The fucking story went on for weeks, and now it’s back because the “Tanning Mom” apparently isn’t tanning as much, or has stopped tanning, or just wants to take a break from tanning to pose for a magazine story or whatever. Do people really give a shit about this? Is this really that fucking important?

 

“National Discussions”: We seem to have one of these every few weeks and they never lead anywhere. TV violence, guns, childhood obesity, religion in politics, autism, the plight of urban youth, the scourge of “Mountain Dew Mouth” in the Appalachians, America’s role in the world, what really happened to Michael Jackson, and how Whitney Houston’s death changed the youth of America are just a few recent “national discussions” we’ve apparently had. Did any of you talk about this stuff with anyone else? If you did, did you then resolve to “change your life” in response to the discussion’s conclusions?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Why do we keep having these things? Can we have a moratorium on them until we have an actual national discussion on whether or not we should have any more national discussions?

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Theme of the Week

Enjoy.

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And now, the weekly Fearnet update

Fearnet, the only free all horror/thriller On Demand TV network features uncut, uncensored horror flicks from the past and present 24 hours a day, seven days a week, pretty much any time you freaking want them (as long as you still have power, that is). The channel also has behind-the-scenes stuff, trailers, and other cool hooey for you to check out. Check your local cable listings for availability (According to the Fearnetwebsite more and more Time Warner and Cox Cable areas are getting the channel. Be sure to go here to see if Fearnet is coming to your area).

Fearnet also exists as a regular old TV channel. This Fearnet airs horror movies roughly twenty one hours a day (there is a block of infomercials in the morning, usually from 6-9am est). The movies shown do have “commercial breaks” in them, similar to the breaks that currently appear on IFC, but the movies are uncut (blood and boobs and cursing are all intact).

Fearnet’s website, fearnet.com, offers free movies, interviews, news, and other behind-the-scenes horror movie nerd stuff, too. The Midnight Meat Train was on the site last week. Is it still there? Check and see).

The website also features Post Mortem with Mick Garris, a nifty interview show where big, fat Stephen King’s favorite director talks with genre legends like John Carpenter, Wes Craven, Roger Corman, and others. It’s definitely worth your time.

If you’re a Facebook nerd (and, really, today, who isn’t?) you can check out the Fearnet fans Facebook page, which can be seen here. There are plenty of people out there interested in Fearnet. Join them. And, as always, thanks to both Mark Lindsey and Mathew Hirsch for info regarding the Fearnet fan movement.

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column B-Movie Babe of the Week: Shawnee Smith

 

 

 

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Things to Watch Out For This Week: Part 2

Knock Knock 2: I’m not quite sure why this “found footage” low budget horror flick is titled Knock Knock 2 because I can’t find any info on a Knock Knock 1. But then that probably doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things. As long as the movie looks good and people check it out based solely on that the movie will do well. So go ahead and check it out, even if you don’t particularly like “found footage” movies. Make the movie do well.

Steve Niles’ Remains: Didn’t this lowish budget zombie movie air on the cable channel Chiller at some point? I seem to remember seeing commercials for it. Anyway, it looks decent, and with the Steve Niles involved you know it will at least be interesting.

Devil Seed: I’ve never been a big fan of “demon possession” movies, mostly because they’re just too ridiculous to believe, especially when they claim to be “based on a true story.” This one, as far as I can tell, doesn’t claim to be “true,” so right there it’s got a leg up on all of the other “demon” movies out there. The “psychic” angle is a little hard to swallow, though. Check it out anyway.

The Liquidator: A bad ass action flick starring the great Vinnie Jones? That’s all I need to know to make an effort to see this.

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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week

 

This week, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Douchebag of the Week goes to the people who decided to “take a stand for Chick-fil-A” by showing up last Wednesday to eat there. Either to “stand up for traditional, Bible based one man/one woman marriage” or “to stand up for Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy’s 1st Amendment rights,” people showed up in droves all across the country to eat whatever the hell the restaurant has on its menu (chicken and whatnot). And they all did it proudly. They were taking a stand, man! Chicago’s mayor attacked them! The mayor of Boston threatened them! Something’s got to be done before… before? Before what?

First off, why is it a good thing to be a raging homophobe? Someone is going to have to explain this to me one day. I’ve yet to understand it. As for the First Amendment argument, give me a break. Cities, towns, and localities prevent all kinds of legal businesses from opening all over the country for various reasons. I seriously doubt that even a tenth of the people buying chicken this week would take the same stand for someone wanting to open a pornography shop in their town, and I’m pretty sure that the ultra right wing, religiously insane psychopaths that showed up for “traditional marriage” would be the ones picketing and staging “Bible-ins” at a zoning board meeting, not giving a shit about the first amendment. You know, “community standards” and all that. When does the “community standards” argument work for gay people not doing anything and against the religiously insane?

Disgraceful.

 

And then there’s former Arkansas Governor, failed 2008 Republican presidential candidate, and current Fox News and ultra right wing radio psychopath Mike Huckabee, for coming up with the “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day” idea in the first place. Huckabee wanted to take a stand against “the left,” which attacked Chick-fil-A’s president and “traditional Christian values,” and it was time to fight back.

Huckabee also apparently wanted to show “the left” that he and the overall ultra right wing Christian psychopath movement weren’t “intolerant,” “homophobic,” “hate-mongers,” or “fundamentalists” by supporting a company with a president that believes America will be destroyed by God because gay people might be able to get married nationwide one day. Is Huckabee just fucking with everyone or is he really that goddamn dense?

Again, someone is going to have to explain this thing to me because I apparently just don’t get it.

 

And finally there’s former governor of Massachusetts and 2012 Republican Presidential nominee Willard “Mitt” Romney, for continuing to refuse to release more of his past tax information. I’m going to assume he thinks he’s taking a stand for something, but all he’s really doing is creating a scandal where, if what Romney says is true, there shouldn’t be one. Romney wants us to believe that there’s nothing shady going on and that he’s paid his taxes in full every single year. Fine. Show us the evidence. If you’ve got nothing to hide, then you’ve got nothing to hide.

Oh, wait, I forgot. That kind of thing only matters with brown people and what they take out of the library. The world has a right to know that kind of thing. An incredibly wealthy businessman who has money in accounts all over the world wanting to be President of the United States? Why would anyone want to look into what that guy has been up to? Whatever happened to standards?

Jesus Christ. This guy could be President one day. It could really happen.

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NASCAR and Indycar thoughts

 

The rain shortened NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Pocono yesterday was pretty dang eventful. With the prospect of rain hitting the 2.5 mile track again, the drivers raced harder than they normally would in the first half of a race at Pocono. Juan Pablo Montoya shocked everyone by grabbing the pole, beating back Pocono master Denny Hamlin, and the start of the race was a mad dash to the front for everyone with a fast enough car to do it. Brickyard 400 winner Jimmie Johnson powered to the front of the pack quickly and looked like he was on his way to a second straight win, just motoring past people like they were standing still. Penske driver Brad Keselowski was also strong, as were Matt Kenseth and Greg Biffle. And then there was the pit strategy angle, where guys (like Keselowski) trying to figure out how to end up up front before the rains came.

If only they knew that the final restart was, in fact, the final restart, and that the top part of the track would be slick and difficult to use in order to pass. Johnson had the race in hand on that final restart, but then he drifted up, lost control, and slammed into Kenseth, who then slammed into Denny Hamlin, causing a massive accident that handed the lead to 2012’s bad luck man Jeff Gordon. Gordon, who has been fast at Pocono in the past, was sort of in contention most of the day but was also a little off in the speed department. His Hendrick teammate Johnson was the class of the field and the only way Gordon was getting by him was by accident or mistake. Good for Gordon that that’s how it played out.

I know I didn’t see Gordon winning. Until Kurt Busch wrecked I thought he might have a shot at taking on Johnson. No one else seemed good enough. I bet Johnson is kicking himself for giving the race away. I know I would be.

The repaved Pocono surface has shown itself to be incredibly racy, and I bet it’ll be even racier next year. I still think NASCAR should lop off another 100 miles and make Pocono a 300 mile race. The less time the drivers have to get to the front the better the racing will be. A sense of urgency always helps things along.

I didn’t get to see the Nationwide race at Iowa on Saturday night, but from what I read about it it was a decent enough race. Elliott Sadler won, ending Ricky Stenhouse’s recent dominance of the place. I also missed the Truck race on Saturday afternoon at Pocono. Was that a good race? Anyone out there see it?

The Watkins Glen road course is next for both Sprint Cup and Nationwide. It’ll be interesting to see how the “ringers” do. Will Jacques Villeneuve finally figure out how to get to victory lane? Will Marcos Ambrose repeat in Sprint Cup?

 

Over in Indycar, the race at Mid-Ohio was better than expected. The race went non-stop, the second caution free race this year, and was actually kind of exciting. Ganassi driver Scott Dixon picked up his second win of the year, beating pole winner Will Power out of the pits on the final stop of the race. I don’t remember what the heck happened to Dixon’s teammate Dario Franchitti but he ended up 17th. Man, Franchitti sucks anymore.

Points leader Ryan Hunter-Reay was looking at a solid top five finish before his engine died, knocking him out of the lead and into second. Simon Pagenaud and Sebastien Bourdais had a good race going for third, with Pagenaud finishing third. Tony Kanaan managed to pull a good finish out of his ass, ending up sixth after starting in the back. Tax cheat Helio Castroneves didn’t have much luck. He had to start last because of an engine change and was never really a factor. And what the heck happened to Oriol Servia?

AJ Foyt’s team announced that Chase Austin, an up and coming young driver that’s been bouncing around various divisions, will drive for him in the 2013 Indy 500. That should be cool. Foyt may have to conjure up a third car, though, for indefinitely suspended NASCAR star AJ Allmendinger, who is now going through “rehab” in the hope that some NASCAR team will have him. I doubt that’ll happen, so, if Foyt’s offer is a real offer, Allmendinger will probably take it. What other choice does he have to stay in the spotlight?

Indycar returns in, I believe, three weeks at Sonoma. The race will be on NBC Sports. Sonoma has made some layout changes in an attempt to make the racing a little better. It’ll be interesting to see if those changes actually make the racing better.

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for this issue. B-movies rule, always remember that.

If there’s anything you want to see reviewed here in this column, feel free to offer a comment below or send me an e-mail. I’m always on the lookout for new stuff to watch.

And don’t forget to bookmark 411 via the little line below. You’ll be glad you did.

Revenge of the Ninja

Sho Kosugi– Cho Osaki
Arthur Roberts– Braden
Ashley Ferrare– Cathy
Keith Vitali– Dave Hatcher
Virgil Frye– Lt. Dire
Mario Gallo– Chifano
Grace Oshita– Grandmother
Kane Kosugi– Kane Osaki

Directed by Sam Firstenberg
Screenplay by James R. Silke

Distributed by MGM Home Entertainment

Rated R for graphic violence, language, and brief nudity.
Runtime– 90 minutes

Buy it here and here

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Bryan Kristopowitz

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