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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Braddock: Missing in Action III
The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #468: Braddock: Missing in Action III
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never had to parachute into anywhere, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number four hundred and sixty-eight, I take a look at the final part of the Missing in Action franchise, Braddock: Missing in Action III, which hit movie theaters back in late January 1988.
Braddock: Missing in Action III
Braddock: Missing in Action III, directed by Aaron Norris, has Chuck Norris once again playing a guy named Colonel James Braddock, although there’s some question as to whether or not this movie is actually a sequel to the first two movies or if it’s some kind of franchise reboot. If you look at the timeline established in the first two movies, there’s no way that part 3 could possibly have anything to do with the first two movies. In parts 1 and 2, Braddock was a POW in 1974 and was in a Viet Cong prison camp until 1984. In part 3, Braddock is in Saigon in 1975. If the first two movies happened, how could Braddock be in Saigon in 1975? Perhaps it’s related to how Ninja III: The Domination is called Ninja III despite the fact that there’s no Ninja I or Ninja II?
So Braddock starts with Braddock trying to get out of Saigon in 1975 before it falls. The streets surrounding the U.S. embassy are in complete chaos, and those who want out and have the right paperwork are looking for the next available military chopper. Braddock’s wife, Lin (Miki Kim), is set to leave the city and country to go live with her husband in America. However, a convergence of events mess up Lin’s life and Braddock’s life. Braddock drives into the city to make sure that Lin gets out safely. When he gets to their apartment, Braddock finds out that it was bombed and destroyed and that a woman was killed inside. Paramedics bring out a burned up body that Braddock believes is Lin (it isn’t. It’s Lin’s friend, who was wearing Lin’s special bracelet when the apartment exploded). While all of that is going on, Lin is trying to get to the U.S. embassy on foot. In the midst of the absolute chaos on the street, Lin is knocked over and she loses her purse which has all of her paperwork inside of it. She doesn’t have time to track down the kid that stole her purse and heads to the embassy gate to see if one of the American guards will let her in. The guard, played by the Keith David, initially refuses to let her in, but when she says Braddock’s name David’s “Embassy Gate Captain” thinks about letting her in. Before the guard can make a final decision, though, the embassy’s wall is breached and the Americans decide, right then and there, to abandon the embassy. Meanwhile, Braddock is on the roof of the embassy, hitching a ride on one of the last choppers out of the country. Braddock is damn near despondent as he thinks his wife is dead. If only he could have looked down from the roof and somehow saw Lin struggling to get through.
The story then skips ahead thirteen years or so and Braddock is in a bar in Washington D.C., waiting to meet up with a priest who runs an orphanage in Vietnam. The priest, a Reverend Polanski (Yehuda Efroni), wants Braddock to know that there’s a woman he knows in country that claims to be the wife of a Colonel James Braddock and that he has a son, too. Braddock doesn’t believe the reverend’s story, at least at first. It’s ridiculous. Braddock knows that his wife is dead. He saw her burned up dead body. And the story about having a son? Total nonsense. Braddock knows that he didn’t have any kids with Lin. What the hell is Polanski is talking about? Why would he come all the way from Vietnam to tell him a bunch of lies?
As soon as Polanski leaves the bar, some CIA goons show up to take Braddock to Langley to talk with their superior, a piece of shit douchebag named Littlejohn (Jack Rader). Littlejohn knows all about Braddock’s meeting with Polanski and warns him not to go back to Vietnam to remove his wife and son. And it’s in that moment that Braddock realizes that Polanski was telling the truth, that Lin is still alive, and that she’s been stuck in Vietnam since the fall of Saigon. And Braddock has a son, too. A son! Holy shit. So Braddock tells Littlejohn to go fuck himself and starts planning on how he’s going to get into Vietnam.
So Braddock flies to Thailand and meets up with his old pal Mik (Ron Barker), a pilot that can get him to the Vietnam border. It should be an easy flight for Mik. But then Littlejohn and his CIA goons show up and try to get the local authorities to arrest Braddock and Mik. Braddock isn’t going to let that happen, so Braddock goes into full on kick ass and evade mode, taking out Littlejohn’s men and several local cops. Braddock then steals a car and he takes Mik with him to the border. A pretty awesome car chase ensues, with the locals trying to stop Braddock again. The locals fail. Mik takes Braddock up in an old cargo plane and flies Braddock to the Vietnam border.
Well, Mik actually drops Braddock and Braddock’s equipment in the water right before the border. As soon as Braddock hits the water, heavily armed Vietnamese patrol boats show up and try to take out Braddock. Braddock is prepared for them, though, as he has a super badass speed boat that easily outruns the heavy patrol boats. When Braddock finally hits land, he hides his shit (he has a tube filled with guns and explosives and whatnot) and goes to find Lin.
So then some stuff happens, Braddock finds Polanski’s orphanage and asks the reverend for directions to Lin. Polanski shows Braddock where Lin lives, and when Braddock sees Lin again it’s like no time has passed between them. They still have chemistry. When Braddock’s son Van (Roland Harrah III) enters the picture, there’s a tremendous tension. Both Braddock and Van are nervous about meeting one another for the first time ever.
The Braddock family reunion is short lived, though, when, as Braddock tries to get Lin and Van back to his boat, the vicious General Quoc (the immortal Aki Aleong) shows up and starts shit. The Communist Vietnam government considers Braddock a war criminal and Quoc wants Braddock to go down hard. So Quoc has his men shoot Lin in the head and arrest both Braddock and Van.
So then some stuff happens, Quoc tortures both Braddock and Van with a contraption that has Braddock strung up and attached to a shotgun that will go off when Braddock’s feet touch the floor and Van strapped into a chair that’s directly in front of the shotgun. This is a seriously fucked up scene that will have you on the edge of your seat as Braddock does everything he can to keep his feet off of the floor. The scene doesn’t end the way you expect it to.
So then some more stuff happens, Braddock eventually rescues Van and breaks out of Quoc’s prison facility, and Van heads to Polanski’s orphanage. It doesn’t take long for Quoc to show up there next and kidnap Van and all of Polanski’s children, hoping to draw Braddock out in the process.
Yeah, draw Braddock out. Good idea. Like that isn’t going to backfire on Quoc and his men.
So Braddock heads back to his boat, gears up, and the shit is seriously on. Armed with what the internet movies firearm database identifies as an H& K G3A4 with a six-shot AN/M5 Pyrotechnic Discharger and auto-telescoping bayonet, Braddock infiltrates the base where Quoc has the children and just starts killing bad guys. There’s machine gun fire, there are explosions, and Braddock karate kicks every motherfucker he can.
And so Braddock rescues the children and tries to get them to the Thailand border. Quoc sends his remaining men along with several attack helicopters to kill Braddock and the children. Braddock and the kids are in serious danger throughout this part of the movie, but Braddock isn’t going to let little things like heavily armed men, attack helicopters, and getting blown up by a grenade prevent him from getting the kids over the border. Fuck that shit.
Braddock: Missing in Action III is one of Big Chuck’s best movies and easily the most entertaining of the three Missing in Action movies. Norris’s acting performance may have been more nuanced in part 2, but it’s really hard to dislike Chuck Norris doing what Chuck Norris does best: killing bad guys. And, man, he seriously kills the bad guys here in Braddock. The mayhem he causes when he decides to rescue the children is nothing short of fantastic. It’s the best part of the movie.
Braddock also has an interesting plot when it comes to the children in the orphanage. The kids are the children of American servicemen and Vietnamese women, making them mixed race, which is something that the Communist Vietnam government doesn’t look too kindly on. The movie never gets into precisely why the government of Vietnam hates these kids; is it the whole “America is Vietnam’s enemy” thing or is there an undercurrent of racism in Vietnam when it comes to mixed heritage people in general? I guess it could be both, I don’t really know. But, again, it is interesting. How many movies have used a similar plot? It’s also interesting to think that this plot could have been used to counter allegations that the first two Missing in Action movies are racist (white guy killing brown Asian people so he can feel superior or something like that). Regardless of what is actually, really going on here, this plot makes Braddock a much more interesting action movie. There’s more going on here than just Chuck Norris killing bad guys.
The action on display in Braddock is excellent from start to finish. The gun battles are exciting, the explosions are phenomenal, and the fight scenes are brutal. When Chuck Norris kicks a guy in the face here or snaps a dude’s neck it’s nasty as hell. In fact, the last neck snap of the movie will make you cringe. It’s been making me cringe since the first time I saw the movie on home video. Director Aaron Norris was a stunt performer and coordinator before helming Braddock and you can tell that he understands how to stage and shoot big time action. Norris also knows how to film chaos. Check out how insane the fall of Saigon is in this movie. You just don’t see that kind of thing as much in today’s movies.
Chuck Norris is fantastic as Colonel James Braddock. Again, I don’t think is necessarily the same James Braddock that Norris played in the first two Missing in Action movies but he does a great job making Braddock a badass soldier and a caring family man. When he meets Lin again and meets his son Van for the first time, I’m not ashamed to say that I still get a lump in my throat. It’s sad and exciting and heartfelt. Norris also does a great job kicking ass. Easily one of Norris’s best performances.
Aki Aleong is an absolute scumbag as General Quoc. He’s ruthless, he’s uncaring, he will do whatever it takes to kill James Braddock and humiliate him. Quoc is also arrogant as fuck. I would have loved to see Braddock kick the shit out of Quoc, but watching him die in an exploding helicopter is pretty cool, too. The bastard deserved it.
Miki Kim does a fine job as Braddock’s wife Lin. There isn’t a moment in her performance where you don’t feel for her. She goes through absolute hell and suffers one of the most vicious head shots of the late 1980’s. She also has decent couple’s chemistry with Chuck Norris, so that’s cool, too. Roland Harran III is kind of annoying at first as Van, as he has a chip on his shoulder. You start to like him more and more as the movie goes on, though, and you want him to succeed just as much as you want to see Braddock succeed.
Yehuda Efroni is annoying as Reverend Polanski, but then Efroni was annoying in The Delta Force, too, so perhaps it’s something he just does (it’s his specialty?). The movie definitely could have used more of Ron Barker’s Australian pilot Mik. What the heck has he been doing in Thailand all these years? And how does he know Braddock? And what else has he done for Braddock over the years?
Jack Rader is brilliant as the CIA douchebag Littlejohn. You don’t like him at all, you know he’s completely full of shit, and you wonder how the hell he’s managed to stay alive for as long as he has. How hasn’t he been fragged by someone? I really wanted to see him fall off the border bridge at the end of the movie.
Braddock: Missing in Action III is a 1980’s action classic. It’s a movie that I’ve loved since the first time I saw it, and it’s something that, if you’re an action movie fan, you should be intimately familiar with. It has everything in it. Again, it’s an absolute action classic.
See Braddock: Missing in Action III. See it, see it, goddamn see it.
So what do we have here?
Dead bodies: 54
Explosions: Multiple, big and small.
Nudity?: Almost.
Doobage: Total street chaos, multiple military choppers in the sky, off screen explosions, a white bracelet, exploding apartment, a very gruesome burned up dead body, purse stealing, multiple exploding trucks, wall ramming, douchebag beating, a story no one was prepared to hear, a big hooha CIA meeting, glass crushing, bar fight hooey, multiple martial arts kicks to the balls, a wicked punch to the face, a pretty neat car chase, an old plane, parachute hooey, an awesome little speed boat, attempted father-son bonding, an ambush, a slow motion bullet to the head, insane torture, shotgun hooey, head butt, electricity torture, neck breaking, machine gun hooey, kidnapping, adults beating children, multiple face kicks, attempted child rape, bayonet to the gut, a serious grenade attack, exploding pedophile, multiple exploding watch towers, slow motion crank alarm, more vicious head shots, exploding hut, more exploding trucks, exploding tent, exploding barrels, exploding bridge, exploding trees, missile attacks, more neck breaking, plane stealing, plane crash, indiscriminate enemy soldier killing, slow motion jump through a window while firing an AK47, more grenade attacks, guy falling into water, super helicopter hooey, a chopper standoff, a lucky head shot, exploding chopper, and a long bridge walk.
Kim Richards?: Attempted.
Gratuitous: Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris with only a mustache, Chuck Norris in a helicopter, the Philippines standing in for Saigon, Keith David, Chuck Norris driving a jeep, soldiers taking down an American flag in the midst of total chaos, Chuck Norris in a bar drinking a beer, Yehuda Efroni, CIA bullshit, a Bangkok strip club where they apparently don’t allow nudity, an Australian guy who happens to be an old friend of Chuck Norris, Buddhist monks, Chuck Norris remembering how to fly a plane, Chuck Norris jumping out of a plane, Chuck Norris piloting a super boat, a naked kid playing with a crab for some reason, a hat disguise, food filled with insects, Aki Aleong, Chuck Norris toughing out horrendous torture, Chuck Norris deciding he’s had enough, Chuck Norris using what looks like a super machine gun, Chuck Norris driving through an explosion in slow motion, Chuck Norris diving over a fence and then breaking a guy’s neck, Chuck Norris possibly speaking Vietnamese, Chuck Norris diving through a window while firing an AK47 in slow motion, Chuck Norris barely withstanding a grenade attack, an evil helicopter, and the “Love of Freedom.”
Best lines: “The dress is so beautiful. Thank you,” “I’m Lin Braddock!,” “I need your papers!,” “Can we please talk more… privately?,” “I’m sorry to hear all of that but what does that have to do with me?,” “My wife and I didn’t have a son!,” “Goodbye, Mr. Braddock. God be with you,” “Braddock, I’m warning you. Don’t step on any toes. I don’t step on toes, Littlejohn. I step on necks,” “Oh, shit, here comes trouble,” “Don’t try to stop me, Littlejohn,” “Oh, shit, Braddock,” “Good luck, mother,” “See you in hell you crazy bastard,” “Oh my God,” “Braddock! How on Earth did you get here?,” “I didn’t know,” “I speak English, Braddock!,” “I love you very much James Braddock,” “Foolish,” “You will find your first test quite challenging,” “I’ll do whatever you want, just let the boy go. You’ll do what I want anyways,” “No!,” “Where is Braddock?,” “Perhaps a change in environment will help you think more clearly,” “Of course, I wouldn’t want to separate you from your half-breed bastard American children!,” “Kids! Get in the truck!,” “Braddock! Braddock!,” “I don’t expect a damn thing, reverend! But walk or crawl, we’re gonna make it!,” “Braddock! I will kill you! And I will burn those filthy children!,” “My God! Braddock! There’s the border!,” “I love you,” “What the hell is happening, Dan?,” “Oh shit,” “Christ!,” “I got you, Braddock! I got you!,” “They will not dare to cross!,” and “He makes one wrong move we’ll climb up his ass. You got it!”
Rating: 10.0/10.0
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Check out my review for Missing in Action here!
Check out my review for Missing in Action 2: The Beginning here!
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Things to Watch Out For This Week
–Future World: James Franco co-directed and, I guess, stars, in this lowish budget post-apocalyptic action movie where it looks like Franco is the bad guy. Suki Waterhouse is the protagonist, or at least one of the protagonists. This movie got a smallish theatrical release not that long ago, and most of the reviews I read for it weren’t all that impressed with the movie. I’m not a fan of Franco’s (and that was before all of the sexual harassment allegations against him) but this looks like something worth checking out, just to see if it’s bad or not. Snoop Dogg, Method Man, Lucy Liu, and Milla Jovovich are also apparently in the movie, but I’m guessing that they’re all cameos at best. Still, again, I’m curious to see if this is any good. Anyone out there see this? Anyone at all?
–211: The great Nicolas Cage stars in this lowish budget action drama about a cop that gets caught up in a vicious bank robbery. It’s supposed to be action packed, and the trailer below seems to suggest that. However, how often do we see trailers for movies that looks amazing and have a solid idea and yet fail miserably? So here’s to hoping that this Cage effort works out and is exciting and as action packed as the trailer suggests. Nic Cage needs a hit.
–The Cured: This comes to us from the fine folks at IFC Films and Shout! Factory. Essentially, this movie appears to be a kind of reverse zombie movie, where there’s some sort of zombie apocalypse, a cure is created and administered to eliminate the zombie plague, and society has to deal with the aftermath. There’s also major social discrimination against former zombies. Sounds like a cool idea. I don’t think it’s received the greatest reviews, but most IFC Films genre movies don’t receive many positive reviews. Definitely worth renting, just to see if it’s any good or not and if it lives up to its idea. Ellen Page is in it.
–The Assassin’s Code: This appears to be some sort of low budget action/cop movie that has an assassin in it for some reason. The great Peter Stormare is the assassin, and Yancy Butler is in it, too. According to imdb the movie was made in Ohio, so that’s kind of cool (how many movies are made in Ohio to begin with?). Very rentable.
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Did you check out Cult TV?
The 1970’s TV thriller Kolchak: The Night Stalker is first up! Check out what I think about the show with the links below!
#4… coming soon!
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B-Movie News
–The Last Drive-In is this Friday!: Yes, this Friday, Joe Bob Briggs returns to movie hosting for one final time on streaming site Shudder with a 24+ hour marathon of horror movies. I know I talked about this last week but, really, there’s nothing going on in the B-movie world right now more momentous and important than Joe Bob’s return. Nothing.
We still don’t know what movies he’ll be hosting outside of the three titles already announced (Tourist Trap, Sleepaway Camp, and Basket Case) but I am certain that, no matter what, the marathon will be entertaining. The marathon will resemble Monstervision, with Joe Bob popping up periodically to talk about the movie and whatnot. Joe Bob is set to have to some “surprise guests” (Felissa Rose will likely show up for Sleepaway Camp. I don’t have any official confirmation of that or any sort of insider knowledge, but it would make sense) and there’s going to be a new mail girl. Will any of the old mail girls show up?
Man, I can’t wait to find out.
I plan on watching as much of the marathon as I can, and I will have some sort of report on the show. Again, I know I talked about this last week but I can’t stress enough just how big this is. It’s the return of Joe Bob Briggs!
And, hey, let’s all make sure this marathon is a super hit so it isn’t the last one.
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Who is the Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!
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Next Issue: It’s The Omega Man starring Charlton Heston!
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Interviews
david j. moore
Jino Kang
Vladimir Kulich
Paul Mormando
Michael Matteo Rossi
Tyrone Magnus
Hector Barron
Jeffrey Orgill
Michael Baumgarten
R. Marcos Taylor
Don “The Dragon” Wilson
Paul Kyriazi
Eric Jacobus
Juju Chan
Luke LaFontaine
Marco Siedlemann
Sam Firstenberg
Amariah Olson
Alexander Nevsky
Mathias Hues
Kristanna Loken
Steve Mitchell
Albert Pyun
Brad Thornton
Mathieu Ratthe
Damien Power
Kelsey Carlisle
Mike Dwyer
Nicholas Bushman
Brahim Achabbakhe
Etcetera
Richard LeMay
Andrew David Barker
Cynthia Rothrock
Leslie Simpson
C. Courtney Joyner
Eric Miller
Alexander Nevsky (2)
Christopher Lawrence Chapman
James Mark
Casper Van Dien
Chris Mark
James E. Wilson
Barry Hunt
Vincent J. Roth
Mathew Ziff
Brandon Tyler Russell
Barry Hunt (2)
Lobsang Tenzin
Dylan Reynolds
Paul Kyriazi(2)
Lincoln Bevers
Nassasin Nuri
Hannah Janssen
Harry Mok
Daniel Roebuck
Sage Croft
Stephen van Vuuren
Cheryl Wheeler Sanders
Eric Jacobus (2)
David William No
Nicholas Verdi
Luke LaFontaine (2)
Roger Yuan
Dominik Starck
Tamas Nadas
Tyler Savage
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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.
B-movies rule. Always remember that.
Braddock: Missing in Action III
Chuck Norris– Colonel James Braddock
Aki Aleong– General Quoc
Roland Harrah III– Van
Miki Kim– Lin
Yehuda Efroni– Reverend Polanski
Jack Rader– Littlejohn
Floyd Levine– General Duncan
Keith David– Embassy Gate Captain
Directed by Aaron Norris
Screenplay by James Bruner and Chuck Norris, based on characters created by Arthur Silver, Larry Levinson, and Steve Bing
Distributed by The Cannon Group, Media Home Entertainment, Video Treasures, Image Entertainment, MGM/UA Home Entertainment, Paramount Pictures, Viacom, Trifecta Entertainment and Media, and Shout! Factory.
Rated R for graphic violence, adult language, and a disturbing attempted rape.
Runtime– 101 minutes
