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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice

June 29, 2016 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #364: Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never been forced to have a sword fight inside a warehouse, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number three hundred and sixty-four, the Jino Kang marathon concludes with Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice, which first appeared in 2014.

Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice

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Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice is a sequel in name only to the first Fist 2 Fist. Kang, who co-directs with Tony Urgo, stars as Jack Lee, a badass retired hitman who is living the quiet life in the suburbs, raising his niece Jamie (Kelly Lou Dennis). Lee got out of the assassination life when his brother Harry (Jake Lyall) was killed and Jamie needed a parent/guiding force in her life. Six years after leaving the hitman business Lee’s home is attacked by heavily armed masked men who kidnap Jamie and try to kill Lee. Jack Lee being Jack goddamn Lee destroys damn near every masked killer and then tries to figure out what the heck is going on. Who would kidnap Jamie? And why? After talking with an old hitman buddy dying on his living room floor (Lee gave the guy a shotgun blast to the gut), Lee finds out that Jamie was kidnapped by Michael Banducci (Douglas Olsson), a scumbag mob boss that Lee knows personally. Banducci will, of course, have to die, and anyone else who gets in the way will also likely suffer the same fate. Again, this is Jack goddamn Lee. You don’t mess with Jack Lee.

As Lee tries to figure out his next move, the local police check out the crime scene. Detective Ashley Jordan (Katherine Celio) is on the case, although before she can really get into what happened the FBI shows up. The FBI is interested in the area’s organized crime and the fact that the crime scene is in the house of Jack Lee, who the feds obviously are aware of. Just what the heck is going on? Before the investigation continues both Detective Jordan and the FBI find out that Lee was picked up by the cops and is in custody. Lee is quickly moved to an FBI safe house.

Now, you’d think that an FBI safe house would be as safe as a safe house could be. You’d think that the feds would be able to interrogate Lee for as long as they want without any interference from any outside forces. But then, in the world of San Francisco organized crime, even the feds are vulnerable to the ruthlessness of local mob assassins who don’t fuck around. The FBI safe house is attacked, the FBI contingent is wiped out, and Lee is wounded in the chaos. Luckily for Lee, Detective Jordan is there, too, and is able to take out some of the bad guys before removing Lee from the premises. Detective Jordan has a safe house of her own and is pretty sure that Banducci’s scumbags won’t find Lee there.

While all of that is going on, Banducci reveals what he’s really up to. Basically, Banducci wants out of the mob business (well, the local mob business). He plans on having fellow mob boss, played by Philippe Lee, buy out his criminal schemes and intends to use Jamie as a big incentive for the purchase. See, Lee’s mob boss is also heavily into human trafficking, and Banducci believes that if he throws Jamie into the mix that Lee’s mob boss will definitely buy because he can make tons of money with Jamie. Disgusting? Yes. Abhorrent? You bet. But then that’s what Michael Banducci is all about.

There’s some more mob hooey in the plot involving San Testaban (John Carney), a Latin mob boss that operates out of Chinatown, which is a nice touch to the story since it’s so out of left field. There’s also some real tension between the different mobs, which is always good to see in a mob-centric movie because it means that, eventually, there’s going to be a big battle between the outfits (no one can trust anyone in the criminal underworld). The reason you need to see Weapon of Choice, though, is the action scenes. The opening scene, which features Kang’s Lee taking out multiple bad guys in a restaurant, is one of the most brutal, bloody, and beautiful sequences of violence committed to film since Punisher: War Zone. If you weren’t in awe of Kang’s skills as a martial artist in Blade Warrior or Fist 2 Fist you will be in awe after seeing the opening scene in Weapon of Choice.

The big kidnapping scene is also brutal and beautiful at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grossed out by a shotgun blast to a human body in a movie before. And every head shot in Weapon of Choice is a gory mess. That’s always a plus in an action movie.

And then there’s the final battle inside Banducci’s warehouse. If you don’t like what you see in this part of the movie then you don’t really like action movies. The fighting, the gun play, and the sword play is amazing, and I think you will jump with joy when Jack Lee takes out the final bad guy. You, much like the final bad guy, won’t see it coming.

I also want to commend Weapon of Choice for featuring a sort of old fashioned fist fight in the middle of all of the karate and hapkido and whatnot. Most modern action movies don’t bother with fist fighting anymore. You either get some sort of high kicking karate or some sort of MMA grappling type stuff. But a fist fight? I can’t even remember the last time I actually saw one in an action movie. Awesome.

Weapon of Choice is about as slick as a low budget action movie can be. It looks great, the camera work is generally smooth, and it’s never boring to look at. There are a few scenes inside Jack Lee’s house and the FBI safe house that look kind of small as compared to everything else but, in the end, it all looks outstanding. The only real issue the movie has is sound. There are moments where the music overwhelms the dialogue, and there are a few times where the dialogue sounds softer than it should. The softness doesn’t kill the movie or anything, but it’s something you will definitely notice. The sound does get better as the movie progresses, though.

Kang is at the top of his game here as Jack Lee. Lee is not only a complete bad ass, but he’s also a haunted individual struggling to do the right thing. He dotes on his niece and tries to be as good a parent as he knows how to be, all the while keeping his hitman instincts in check. When the hooey hits the fan, though, watch out because Jack Lee is going to destroy you. Kang’s hand-t0hand fighting sequences are also his best looking to date, and his sword skill sequences are insanely cool. I think I could watch Kang swordfight bad guys all day and never get tired of it. Great stuff all around.

Katherine Celio does a fine job as Detective Jordan. She isn’t a martial artist like Kang or some of the henchmen in the movie but she holds her own in her many action scenes and never looks like she’s in over her head. She also has a likeable personality which is always a plus. She also has good chemistry with Kang, which makes their partnership that much easier to watch.

Kelly Lou Dennis is awesome as Jamie Lee. You’re not quite sure how to take her at first. Is she going to be the annoying teen girl that always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Thankfully, she isn’t annoying at all and, several times, she kicks major henchmen ass. You’re actually kind of surprised the first time you see her beat the crap out of someone because it makes you wonder why she didn’t do that the second she figured out she was kidnapped. But then Jamie isn’t an idiot and knows when she’s outnumbered. She knows when it’s time to fight. How often do you see that in any sort of action movie?

Douglas Olsson is brilliant as Banducci. Banducci is a piece of shit mob boss that you can’t wait to see destroyed, but at the same time you sort of like his smart ass attitude. He’s constantly arguing with his right hand man Don Orloff (Artem Mishin) and he always seems to be on the verge of a complete freak-out. I think you’ll enjoy what ends up happening to him. I know I did.

John Carney has some nifty scenes as crime boss San Testaban, and Don Williams is funny as the FBI guy Koehler. The standout bit part player, though, is Evan Kaminsky as Oliver, Detective Jordan’s weird ass brother. From his wacked out hair to his bizarre smile to his devotion to pot you’ll enjoy every second he’s on screen. The guy is a riot.

The various henchmen that Kang’s Lee battles also do an outstanding job in every scene that they’re in. They all look dangerous, especially the staff fighting guy, and you’ll want to watch them fight Lee again and again.
Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice is an absolute total must see. It is Kang’s best overall movie and the one that shows what he can really do as a true triple threat moviemaker. Just amazing stuff all around.

See Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice. See it, see it, goddamn see it.

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So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Lots. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was over 30.

Explosions: One.

Nudity?: Yes.

Doobage: Crying, a stripper with boob candles, multiple head shots, some serious knife play, arm breaking, tea making, kidnapping, double barrel shotgun hooey with multiple exploding stomachs, knife to the neck, Uzi attack, helicopter hooey, some sleazy FBI talk, clothes stealing, sniper attack with red dot hooey, exploding heads, a point blank Uzi attack, exploding building, a fist fight, gut stabbing, bullet to the gut, pot smoking, an impromptu dancing in the kitchen sequence, a sex scene with no real nudity, an off screen hammer death, a badass muscle car, some serious leg breaking, a brutal choke, a fifteen on one battle, more serious knife play, a vicious submachine gun, leg biting, attempted axe throwing, indoor gun play, attempted stick attack, sword attack, bloody arm removal, and one of the most disgusting sword through the middle of a guy sequences in movie history.

Kim Richards?: Sort of attempted. It depends on how you want to look at it.

Gratuitous: Crying fat guy, stripper with boob candles, teen girl dancing in the living room for no reason, Jino Kang doing pull ups in his bathroom, Jino Kang wearing a Hapkido USA shirt, FBI hooey, guy breaking wooden boards on the porch for some reason, creepy “Do you think she’s still a virgin?” talk, target practice with beer bottles, Jino Kang dancing, Golden Gate Bridge, brutal sword fighting, and one of the most disgusting sword through the middle of a guy sequences in movie history.

Best lines: “Donald? What the hell is this?,” “You deal with me! You don’t get Jamie!,” “Never fear, the FBI is here,” “Fuck this jurisdiction shit! I am sick of your goddamn political bullshit!,” “Fail, you die,” “Chinese medicine or something? Asians. Trust me,” “Open the fucking door!,” “That’ll teach you you little fucking cunt! Where are you going to run now?,” “If he a twenty five thousand a year security guard then I’m the Shah of Iran,” “I’m not here to interrogate you. Where’s your daughter?,” ‘Are you comfortable? Taken care of?,” “Call me Uncle Michael,” “I swear to God the next guy I hire has to be a college graduate. I can’t take this shit anymore,” “Man, his ass is so tight only frogs in Peru can hear him fart,” “She says you’re some kind of ninja assassin killer hitman dude,” “I like this gun,” “Hey, man. You into weed at all?,” “Lose the dress! Lose the goddamn dress!,” “Figure out which island you want to live on yet? Yeah. Long Island. Excuse me? Long Island. That’s your choice, Long Island? That’s where my family is from,” “All is forgiven, Harry,” and “Diego says hello. He’s waiting for you!”

Rating: 9.5/10.0

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Things to Watch Out For This Week

PreciousCargo

Precious Cargo: This is the latest low budget Canadian movie featuring Bruce Willis for some reason. Zack Morris hisself Mark-Paul Gosselaar also stars, and it appears it’s all about thieves and other assorted scumbags. This movie did receive a small theatrical release a few months ago, but odds are you didn’t see it in a movie theatre. I know it didn’t play anywhere near me. I would like to know why Willis keeps making these kinds of movies. Isn’t he an A-list megastar still?

DeadmanApocalypse

Deadman Apocalypse: This is a mega low budget British post-apocalyptic movie that doesn’t appear to also be some sort of zombie movie. The main character is named “Deadman,” and based solely on that this sounds like it could be awesome. The trailer is pretty cool. Definitely worth renting to see if it lives up to its potential.

Australiens

Australiens: This is a mega low budget sci-fi action flick that features aliens invading Australia for some reason. It’s also apparently a comedy. I like the look of the aliens in the trailer, and it seems kind of goofy. That can work in certain sci-fi contexts. I am worried, though, about the movies runtime. Imdb claims that the movie is almost two hours long. That seems way too long for a mega low budget sci-fi action flick.

HuntingSeason

Hunting Season: Tom Sizemore and Eric Roberts are in this low budget thriller about rich assholes that hunt people for sport. It was originally called Fair Chase, which seems like a better title than Hunting Season, which is a little too generic for the premise. Some segments of the trailer are messed up, and Sizemore looks like he’s in full on sleazebag mode. That’s always fun.

SharkExorcist

Shark Exorcist: Okay, so, based solely on the trailer, this movie is apparently about a woman who is possessed by a demonic shark. I don’t think that’s ever been done before. It looks insane. So, yeah, I want to see this. I mean, come on, it’s a movie about a woman possessed by a demonic shark. A demonic shark!

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And now a moment of Jino Kang

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQzvY2io03M**

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B-Movie News: A Stake Land sequel? What?

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Yes, apparently a sequel to the badass vampire flick Stake Land has been made and is set to debut at some point this year on the Sci Fi Channel. Entertainment Weekly had the news first, and the Fangoria website also featured the news which, I’m pretty sure shocked everyone. I know it shocked me.

I mean, how the heck do you keep a sequel to one of the best vampire movies of the last twenty years out of the news? How do you keep it a secret? And why do you want to keep it a secret? You’d think that the people involved in making and producing the movie would want everyone in the world to know. Stake Land kicked ass! Check out my review of the movie here. See? It kicked ass!

It’s too bad that it won’t get a theatrical release and is going to be a Sci Fi Original. There’s nothing wrong, in general, with being a Sci Fi Channel movie, but it sure would rock if something like a Stake Land sequel could get a limited theatrical release, or some sort of “one night only” Fathom Event type deal. I bet fans would support it.

Was I the only one shocked by this news? Did anyone out there know about this before it was announced, or did anyone hear anything beforehand?

Scott Adkins stars in Hard Target 2, which is set to hit home video in September.

This is sort of old news, but a Universal Home Video is set to release a direct-to-video sequel to the Jean Claude Van Damme/John Woo 1990’s action classic Hard Target. The sequel will be released in September and is set to star Scott Adkins, Rhona Mitra, and Robert Knepper. Part 2 here looks pretty good, so it’ll be a definite must see when it does show up on store shelves.

Go ahead and check out the trailer below.

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Who is this week’s Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!

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Next Issue: Asian Connection featuring Steven Seagal and Michael Jai White!

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Check out Jino Kang’s website here!

And check out the interview I did with the man hisself, Jino Kang, here!

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Follow me on Twitter!

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Check out my review of david j. moore’s The Good, the Tough, and the Deadly here!

And check out my interview with the man hisself david j. moore here!

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

B-movies rule. Always remember that.

Fist 2 Fist 2: Weapon of Choice

Jino Kang– Jack Lee
Douglas Olsson– Michael Banducci
Katherine Celio– Detective Ashlie Jordan
Artem Mishin– Doug Orloff
Kelly Lou Dennis– Jamie
John Carney– San Testaban
Don Williams– Hap Koehler
Evan Kaminsky– Oliver
Philippe Lee– Mob Boss

Directed by Jino Kang and Tony Urgo
Screenplay by Jino Kang and Tony Urgo

Distributed by Anderson Digital

Unrated
Runtime– 100 minutes

Buy it here or here