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The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: Outlawed

January 16, 2019 | Posted by Bryan Kristopowitz
Outlawed

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #493: Outlawed

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never had to become a one-man army to take down a corrupt politician and his criminal gang, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number four hundred and ninety-three, I take a look at the low budget British action flick Outlawed, which hit home video in early October of 2018.

Outlawed

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Outlawed, co-written by, co-directed by, and starring martial artist, stunt performer, and former Royal Marine Adam Collins (Luke Radford also co-wrote the screenplay and co-directed), can best be described as a heartfelt action movie. It’s a little too long, it’s kind of cheesy at times, but it’s also incredibly sincere in its “one man takes on an army of heavily armed thugs to rescue the woman that he loves” plot. That’s what sets it apart from other, similar modern action flicks. Outlawed is also incredibly violent when it switches into full on ass kicking action movie mode, which it does brilliantly in its last twenty minutes or so. Adam Collins will be a force to be reckoned with in the future.

Collins is Jake O’Neill, a badass former Royal Marine/British Special Forces operator who, after participating in a botched rescue mission where two young children are killed, quits the military and goes on a booze and drug fueled orgy/bender at a casino. Racked with seemingly endless guilt, Jake becomes homeless and spends several months on the street. His childhood friend/lifelong love Jade (Jessica Norris) tries to watch out for him when he’s sleeping in public parks and shit, but Jake wants nothing to do with anyone. Jake just wants to be alone.

Now, Jade, while worried about Jake, is also worried about what the heck is going to happen to her once the super corrupt mayor and crime boss Harold Archibald (Ian Hitchens) finds out that she has her dead father’s audio recording of the night Archibald killed the mayor and assumed his position. See, Jade’s father was some sort of journalist who was investigating local government corruption and ended up recording Archibald shooting the mayor in the head. Archibald sent his goons to get the recording and kill Jade’s father. They killed Jade’s father, but they didn’t get the recording. Jade’s father locked it in a safe deposit box. When Jade is old enough, she’s given the key to the safety deposit box so she can then hand it over to the proper authorities. But who the heck is that?

Archibald is a crime boss like no other. He’s a sleazy scumbag that will make a deal with anyone. Drug dealers, gun runners, terrorists, Archibald plays no favorites when it comes to his business. And most of the local authorities let Archibald get away with it because what the heck are they going to do about it? He’s Harold Archibald. I mean, the guy tried to recruit Jake to be a member of his criminal gang right after Jake got back from an operation in Afghanistan and received a special medal from the Ministry of Defense (or Defence, as it were). The minister was right there in the same building, in the room next door, and Archibald is essentially five seconds away from producing a briefcase full of money for Jake to look at. Who the hell does that with a major national government official around?

So Jake eventually comes around and decides that he doesn’t want to be homeless anymore, he wants to hang around with Jade and his guardian and fellow Special Forces operator Mac (Anthony Burrows). He also wants to help Jade evade Archibald, who comes after her when Jake tells another fellow operator, a guy named Smudge (Andy Calderwood), all about the Archibald recording and it turns out that Smudge works for Archibald.

So Archibald and his henchmen kidnap Jade and hold her hostage. Jake and Mac then gather up their guns and come up with a straightforward plan to get Jade back and destroy Archibald’s big hooha criminal gang. Jake is going to go right into Archibald’s headquarters and kill every henchman scumbag that gets in his way.

And that, essentially, is Outlawed. Convoluted? A bit. The whole middle section of the movie deals with Jake’s breakdown and guilt, something any other action flick would have tried to deal with quickly so the movie can get to the action. It’s fascinating how Jake, in the midst of dealing with the idea that he got a young boy killed, goes on an epic bender where he snorts cocaine, drinks himself into a stupor, and tries to bang multiple hot women in some sort of casino hotel orgy. Getting drunk off his ass is probably something Jake did while in Special Forces while hanging out with his fellow operators. Downing booze in large quantities is a time honored military tradition all over the world. Not doing it, or something like it, would be considered weird. But did Jake do cocaine while in the service? Did he engage in orgies? Doubtful. You don’t really blame him for any of it, though. He just left the service, he witnessed something horrible, and Jake also catches his then girlfriend (I don’t remember her name) cheating on him in his own bed. How is he supposed to feel anything other than dejected and terrible? The length of Jake’s bender is a little surprising. You don’t expect a man of honor to be gone that long. Thankfully, he comes back to his old self and kicks ass.

Now, does Outlawed need to be so convoluted and layered? No, not at all. The script could have used some cutting, some streamlining, so it could get to the action faster. If Outlawed had been my movie that’s probably what I would have done. Outlawed isn’t my movie, though. It belongs to Adam Collins and Luke Radford and the stuff they decide to focus on make Outlawed their own. It’s all convoluted and the characters have multiple layers to them, even that scumbag Archibald. Archibald isn’t a complete scumbag, but he’s damn close. At the same time, you can’t blame him for wanting revenge on Jake for not saving his son from terrorists. Archibald is a criminal but he’s also a father.

The action is nothing short of amazing. The first action sequence seems somewhat clipped and full of fast cuts and whatnot, but once the opening credits end and the actual movie starts, holy crap. There’s a sequence in a junkyard where various scumbags are mowed down by a terrorist played by Celiowagner Coelho (another guy that has the potential to be a new action star. He has the look and the skills to kick some ass. He just needs the right vehicle). The Special Forces rescue mission in what appears to be an abandoned factory is full of explosions, guys falling, and guys getting blown away. It’s a great sort of intro to the final action sequence, which starts with Jake riding a dirt bike into Archibald’s HQ while shooting a gun and being shot at by various henchmen, with no one on either side giving a toss about public safety. And when Jake gets inside the building, Collins shows you, just in case you hadn’t figured it out yet, that he’s a real deal action star and a guy that the action movie world will have to deal with for years to come.

Now, there have been plenty of “one man takes on an army of heavily armed men” action scenes in various movies throughout the years, with the hero being shot and beaten and bleeding profusely yet somehow overcoming the odds and killing everyone. We all enjoy those sequences, sure, but how often do we believe them or fully believe in the hero? When it comes to Collins there’s no reason not to believe that he can do everything that you see him do, from the guns, the knife fighting, and the martial arts. The man really, truly is a one man wrecking crew.

Collins and Radford do a good job with both the action scenes and the dramatic scenes. The movie could have used fewer drama scenes, sure, but it’s not like they’re boring or anything. They could be shorter scenes, but in their present form they work. Collins and Radford also have a penchant for photographing super attractive women wearing thong underwear from behind. You just don’t see that kind of thing in action movies anymore.

There’s only one thing I didn’t care for, and that’s the soundtrack. The musical score by Devesh Sodha is good and sounds right, there’s just too much of it. It seems like the soundtrack is always playing, that every scene has music in it. There may actually be “quiet” moments in the movie, but, man I can’t remember any of them. I know that low budget movies tend to amp up the soundtrack to make the movie seem like it cost more than it did, but Outlawed doesn’t need it. The cast and direction and the fighting/special effects are good and slick enough to not need endless music.

There’s on sequence at the end, a small scene within the overall final action scene, where an Archibald henchman has his legs blown off and is covered in blood and debris while trying to fight off Jake. Up until that point you’ve seen Jake kill tons of henchmen but you don’t really see the aftermath of any of that beyond some dead bodies around on the ground. And then there’s the guy with two bloody stumps where his legs used to be. It’s actually shocking. You don’t expect it at all. You also don’t expect the scene where a different henchman is set on fire. It’s one of the grossest “man-on-fire” sequences I’ve ever seen in any kind of movie. Holy shit.

Outlawed is a low budget action flick that action movie nerds need to check out as soon as possible. Adam Collins is an action star on the rise and someone that action movie nerds need to pay attention to. I know I’ll be on the lookout for whatever the heck he has on deck next. You need to be, too.

See Outlawed. See it, see it, see it.

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: If it’s less than 50 I’d be surprised.

Explosions: Multiple, both big and small.

Nudity?: Yes.

Doobage: 1996, bullet to the head, Special Forces operators jumping out of an airplane, parachute hooey, an alleyway shootout, rocket launcher attack, more bullets to the head, flash bang grenade hooey, guy shit, a cocaine and sex party, kids playing in the snow, a funeral, candle lighting, open cursing in church, a junkyard criminal business deal, AK-47 hooey, shotgun hooey, grenade launcher attack, a bloody stomach wound, serious off screen neck breaking, gym training, some serious nudity, a getting shitfaced montage, local news hooey, a double team, off screen Kim Richards, serious grenade hooey, a shootout, a terrorist chokes on his own blood, exploding door, knife to the gut, a guy playing with his own intestines, drinking, infidelity, casino gambling hooey, a woman’s naked ass, a full on sex and drugs orgy, an emotional breakdown, puking blood, yet another bullet to the head, a training montage, slow motion air boxing, thong city, boob nipple kissing, off screen apartment destruction, tape bondage, dirt bike hooey, a total lack of respect for the idea of public safety, throat slitting, bullet to the top of the head, a SWAT team attack, a grenade toss back, bloody severed limbs, RPG hooey, a wicked throat punch, collapsible night stick hooey, hot water to the face, a great man on fire stunt, a random woman is shot for absolutely no reason, knife up through the chin, cop hooey, firefighter hooey, and a happy ending.

Kim Richards?: Big time.

Gratuitous: Nottingham, Afghanistan, ball busting the British way, British military marching and saluting, a getting shitfaced montage, a terrorist that likes knives and hates guns, talk of “Queen and country,” a casino meltdown, getting robbed by prostitutes, an old tape, a gigantic Royal Marine back tattoo, hot women’s naked asses, a total lack of respect for the idea of public safety, “God Save the Queen,” a guy saying “Shite!,” and the realization that there were no real quiet moments in the movie, the music never stopped.

Best lines: “Hey, Scotland! What’s happening?,” “What’s with all the armed guards?,” “You think I do what I do for money? I fight for a purpose,” “I wonder what it is you fight for. None of your fucking business!,” “You fuck me on this I’ll kill your family,” “You’ve got to take care of Jake,” “Remember Bosnia. How could I ever forget?,” “I will see you again. I promise,” “Archibald sends his regards,” “It’s just business,” “Round up the lads,” “What the fuck has crawled up your ass?,” “Don’t call me sir, darling. I work for a living,” “Tango down!,” “Stop fucking whining. It’s just a flesh wound, ya pussy,” “This is for Archibald!,” “When are you going to wake up, Mac?,” “Sgt. Jake O’Neil, you’re dismissed,” “Fucking prick,” “Fuck it. All in,” “Having a rough night, are we?,” “What happened to you?,” “You said you’d always be there for me!,” “What do you need? Guns,” “Now do I have your attention?,” “I think it’s time we met,” “I’m coming for you,” “Ooh! Motherfucker!,” “Serve on that, bitch!,” “Face it, Jake. I’m better than you,” “Jesus Christ, Jake,” “You okay? He fucking shot me!,” “Lower your weapons! He’s one of ours you idiot!,” and “Who do you bloody think you are, Bruce Willis?”

Rating: 7.5/10.0

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Things to Watch Out For This Week

Halloween2018DVD

Halloween (2018): I explained why I didn’t really care for this Halloween reboot/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s called with my Why Halloween (2018) Sucks The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Special Edition. Yes, the movie made tons of money and was critically acclaimed but I hated it. Anyway, the movie is hitting home video this week, and I’m sure it will make tons of money there, too. Anyone else out there besides me not care for this movie? Anyone at all?

SpeedKills

Speed Kills: John Travolta stars in this low budget crime drama thing about speed boat racing and whatever the hell else it’s about. From what I’ve seen online this movie has gotten horrendous reviews and, based on the trailer, I can’t say that I’m surprised. Still, this looks like a rental, just to see if it’s as bad as the critics and whatnot claim. James “Ganz, Albert Ganz” Remar, Jennifer Esposito, and Tom Sizemore are apparently in this, too, so, you know, be on the lookout for them. Is Travolta due for another comeback?

Howling3Marsupials

Howling III: Also known as Howling III: The Marsupials, this Blu-ray comes to us from the fine folks at Shout! Factory/Scream Factory. I can’t remember the last time I actually watched this (it may have been on TNT back when TNT had Joe Bob Briggs and Monstervision) but I remember it being sort of good. It also takes place in Australia for some reason. It’s also PG-13. I don’t remember that, either. Anyway, this Blu-ray is set to have a a commentary track with writer/director Philippe Mora, an on camera interview with the director, and snippets from the documentary Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! that deal with the movie. Scream Factory always does a good job with these releases, so, heck, even if you don’t like the movie the Blu-ray will be worth getting just because it’s from Scream Factory. Any Howling III fans out there?

ChiliBowl

33rd Lucas Oil Chili Bowl Nationals Presented by General Tire: This year’s Chili Bowl has been expanded to five nights of qualifying, which makes sense since there are over 320 entries, which is insane. I mean, where the hell do all of those midgets go during the rest of the year, when clubs like USAC and ARDC can barely scrounge up 20 cars? You can keep track of the qualifying nights by checking out the official Chili Bowl website (look at it here) or you can check out the Chili Bowl Facebook page (it’s right here). MAV TV will have the 55 lap A-main feature live this Saturday night, starting at 8:30pm EST. Will Christopher Bell pick up his third straight Golden Driller trophy? Will Kyle Larson finally win the big one? Will someone else show up in victory lane, like a previous winner (Sammy Swindell, Tim McCreadie, Rico Abreu, guys like that) or will we see a new winner? We’ll see Saturday night.

Chili Bowl! Chili Bowl! Chili Bowl!

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Do you like Cult TV?

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The 1970’s TV thriller Kolchak: The Night Stalker is first up! Check out what I think about the show with the links below!

Issue #1
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… and coming soon: Street Hawk!

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B-Movie News

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The Brain coming to Blu-ray at the end of April!: I saw this over at Bloody Disgusting last week and it’s pretty cool news. The Brain, the weird beard sci-fi horror flick that used to be in every video store back in the day, is finally getting an official Blu-ray release via Shout! Factory/Scream Factory. The article claims that The Brain will likely show up at the end of April (April 30th to be exact), although, at the moment, there’s no news regarding potential extras. I’d imagine we would get a commentary track from someone for this at the bare minimum.

I have no why it’s taken this long for this movie to show up on digital home video. The movie never got a DVD release, which seems insane. I mean, The Brain was a popular movie back in the video store age, it has a cult following, and it’s a classic low budget sci-fi horror flick. Why the hell didn’t Anchor Bay put this thing out back in the early 2000’s? It’s exactly the kind of movie Anchor Bay would have kicked ass with.

If we don’t get any special features with this release, at least we’ll have the movie easily available. That’s what’s most important.

This is awesome. The Brain is coming to Blu-ray!

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Check out my Widow’s Point set visit report!

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Read it here!

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Who is the Douchebag of the Week? Go here and find out!

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Next Issue: I Am Vengeance starring Stu Bennett and Gary Daniels!

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Well, I think that’ll be about it for now. Don’t forget to sign up with disqus if you want to comment on this article and any other 411 article. You know you want to, so just go do it.

B-movies rule. Always remember that.

Outlawed

Adam Collins– Jake O’Neil
Jessica Norris– Jade
Anthony Burrows– Mac
Ian Hitchens– Harold Archibald
Celiowagner Coelho– Asad Dalmar
Steven Blades– Scar
Andy Calderwood– Smudge

(check out the rest of the cast here)

Directed by Adam Collins and Luke Radford
Screenplay by Adam Collins and Luke Radford

Not Rated
Runtime– 102 minutes

Buy it here