The Gratuitous B-Movie Column: PG: Psycho Goreman

The Gratuitous B-Movie Column Issue #587: PG: Psycho Goreman

Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the internets movie review column that has never found anything cool after digging a gigantic hole in the ground, The Gratuitous B-Movie Column, and I am your host Bryan Kristopowitz. In this issue, issue number five hundred and eighty-seven, I take a look at the new low budget sci-fi horror comedy PG: Psycho Goreman, which was released on DVD and Blu-ray on March 16th, 2021 via the fine folks at RLJE Films.

PG: Psycho Goreman

PG: Psycho Goreman, also known simply as Psycho Goreman and written and directed by Steven Kostanski, is the greatest blood and gore soaked, monster filled family film ever made. Of course, there aren’t that many blood and gore soaked monster filled family movies out there, but that fact shouldn’t diminish the true greatness of PG: Psycho Goreman. It really is a phenomenal movie watching experience and definitely something you should seek out.

PG: Psycho Goreman stars Nita-Josee Hanna and Owen Myre and Mimi and Luke, a young sister and brother tandem who, after digging a massive hole in their backyard, find a weird, glowing gem. Instead of just leaving the goddamn thing alone, Mimi removes the gem and accidentally summons the Arch Duke of Nightmares, an alien demon who was banished to Earth after he tried to destroy the universe. Instead of being terrified of what she has unleashed upon Earth and the universe, Mimi is ecstatic. The Arch Duke looks cool. On top of that, since she has the gem, she can control the Arch Duke and get him to do whatever she wants. The Arch Duke, who Mimi and Luke eventually dub Psycho Goreman, PG for short (physically played by Mathew Ninaber and voiced by Steven Vlahos), hates his new name and hates that he’s under the direct control of a lowly human like Mimi. PG would rather killer her, Luke, her entire family, and then all of Earth as that’s what he’s good at. Destroying things and killing people. But, with the rules of the gem being the rules of the gem, PG has to go along with whatever Mimi wants him to do.

And so Mimi makes PG a part of her family. Mimi’s mother and father, Susan and Greg (Alexis Kara Hancey and Adam Brooks), are initially weirded out by the presence of PG, but they eventually just go with it and accept PG’s presence. You would think that they and, well, everyone, including Mimi, would get upset about who and what Psycho Goreman is all about after PG transforms Mimi’s best friend and secret crush Alastair (Scout Flint) into a giant brain octopus thing with eyes, but, no, everyone is completely fine with it. Alastair isn’t fine with it, but then even he learns to accept it.

Now, while PG has to do what Mimi wants him to do, he tries to muddy the waters a bit and get Luke to snatch the gem from his sister and hand it over to PG. PG feels and suspects that Luke doesn’t like being bullied by his sister and generally treated poorly and that, eventually, he can get Luke to do what he wants him to do. Luke is tired of his little sister’s belligerence, but at the same time he doesn’t want to betray her and make her mad (and he doesn’t want PG to kill everyone, which he won’t be able to do if he’s under Mimi’s control). But will that feeling last through the entire movie? Will Mimi’s behavior eventually make Luke “switch sides?”

And while all of that is going on, the mega alien council out in space that banished Psycho Goreman for wanting to destroy the universe finds out that he’s loose and tries to come up with a plan to either kill him or put him back. This is where we meet Pandora (physically played by Kristen MacCulloch, with Anna Tierney performing the voice), the head of the Templars, the warrior alien group that essentially rules the universe and put Psycho Goreman in prison. Pandora decides that she will head to Earth and take on Psycho Goreman. Will she succeed? Will Pandora save the universe once again?

All of that sure sounds like you’re meant to root for Pandora, doesn’t it? Psycho Goreman sounds like a real bastard, right? The reality and the brilliance of PG: Psycho Goreman is that you don’t root for Pandora at all and, while PG is kind of a bastard, he doesn’t come off as bad as he would in a “normal” movie. You are meant to root for PG and you will. You won’t be able to stop yourself. You will also totally accept the world that writer/director Steven Kostanski has created. It’s an amazing accomplishment.

The first thing about PG: Psycho Goreman that will knock you out is the writing and overall presentation of the movie. I can’t stress enough how completely weird the movie is, how the tone of the movie is off from what you would normally expect, but it works in its own way. PG: Psycho Goreman plays like a family movie that you would see on the Disney Channel, but it’s full of gore and nastiness and some of the best “main-in-suit” special effects in recent low budget movie history. It shouldn’t work. The movie should be supremely off putting and upsetting. That just doesn’t happen, though. Everyone in the movie commits to its skewed tone and it just succeeds. Check out the big “taking PG shopping” montage. The sequence is so ridiculous that it shouldn’t work at all. It does, though. It’s one of the movie’s many highlights.

The second thing that will knock you out is the special effects on their own. From the Psycho Goreman “man in suit” makeup to the Pandora suit to the aliens out in space, it’s all terrific looking. You would think that the movie cost way more than it obviously did. That’s how damn good the makeup looks. The movie also has some truly exceptional gore in it. It’s gross, sure, but it will make you laugh more than gag. The “PG turns a cop into a gooey henchman” sequence is nothing short of amazing, and that specific makeup should win all sorts of awards.

The third thing that will amaze you is the complete world that Kostanski and company have built. There’s an elaborate backstory involving Psycho Goreman, Pandora, the big space war between the various alien species and whatnot that the movie actually shows, which shouldn’t be possible on the movie’s budget. We see it, though, and it’s awe inspiring. How the hell did they pull this off? And it all makes sense. How did they pull that off? There are major big hooha studio movies that wish they were as complete as PG: Psycho Goreman.

And the final thing that will make you knock you out is the movie’s performances. As I said, everyone in the movie commits to the movie’s tone and, as a result, there isn’t a bad performance in the movie. Do you know how rare that is? It’s insane how good everyone is.

Nita-Josee Hanna is hilarious as Mimi. She’s head strong and belligerent at times, but she’s also kind of sweet in a weird way. There are times where you think she’s being selfish and kind of an asshole, and she is (the way she treats her brother Luke is terrible), but you can’t hate her. Her devotion not only to her family (she gets PG to promise not to kill her family, something an asshole probably wouldn’t do) but to her imagination is something to behold (look at how enthusiastic she is explaining the rules to “crazy ball,” the uber complicated game that no one but Mimi and Luke seem to understand. It’s amazing). If Hanna didn’t commit to Mimi’s belligerence the character likely wouldn’t work.

Owen Myre does a fantastic job as Luke, Mimi’s brother and partner in crime. He’s the complete opposite of Mimi in terms of his public demeanor (he’s never off the wall) but he’s just as devoted to the things Mimi is devoted to, especially when it comes to PG. He does have a bit of a crisis towards the end of the movie when it comes to the gem, but it all works out for him.

Adam Brooks is brilliant as Greg, Mimi and Luke’s father. Brooks plays Greg as this sort of misunderstood lazy guy who hates doing anything beyond watching TV. He refuses to do manual labor, he has no interest in disciplining the kids, and he completely ignores his wife Susan’s general dislike of him. Is Greg being a selfish asshole or is he just living in his own world? It’s fun trying to figure that out.

Alexis Kara Hancey is funny as hell as Susan, Mimi and Luke’s mother and Greg’s wife. Watching how she just eventually accepts the presence of PG and Mimi’s control over him is one of the big reasons why the movie works as well as it does. Hancey also kicks ass in the big argument scene she has with Brooks’ Greg, where she explain why she’s so annoyed with him.

And then there’s Mathew Ninaber and Steven Vlahos as PG: Psycho Goreman. Between Ninaber’s body language and Vlahos’ dialogue delivery, they make Psycho Goreman (PG for short) one of the best movie monsters in recent memory. There isn’t one false moment when it comes to PG. Really, all of the suit performers do exceptional work. I can’t stress enough how great they all are.

And that, ultimately, is what you’re likely to think when PG: Psycho Goreman is over. It’s great. It’s so great, so amazing, so brilliant, so goddamn perfect, that it’s hard to believe that exists. Movies like this one don’t come around all of the time. When they do come around you have to experience them and embrace them. PG: Psycho Goreman is a movie that you must see. It’s one of the greatest, maybe the greatest, blood and gore soaked family movie ever made. Bring on the sequel! The world needs more PG: Psycho Goreman!

See PG: Psycho Goreman. See it, see it, goddamn see it!

So what do we have here?

Dead bodies: Around 20.

Explosions: A few.

Nudity?: None.

Doobage: Planet Gigax, a weird ball kids game, hole digging, a glowing gem, weird kids, double decapitation, book throwing, an old factory, knocking over a guy that was turned into a kind of living zombie statue, name creation, a big hooha alien meeting, a meat cube, TV hooey, backstory hooey, serious head smashing, a bleeding TV, a weird as fuck microwave, a brain octopus alien thing, a weird musical interlude, exploding kid, a clothes buying montage, TV destruction, a zombie dream, a “crazy ball” interlude, attempted cop attack, serious body melting, monsters from space, serious alien monster killing, head kicking, rage toilet use, running over a head, serious body issues, some of the most fucked up yet hilarious “Dad advice” ever given in a movie, potion drinking, a hilarious attack on Christianity, a final showdown, serious wrist breaking, a sword made out of body parts, a final monster battle, and a brilliant fucking ending.

Kim Richards?: Big time, and it’s hilarious.

Gratuitous: An opening crawl, “crazy ball,” a sort of wall knocking Morse code, spinning around, man in suit monsters and aliens, attempted knock knock joke, turning a woman into a meat cube, a bleeding TV, “Champions don’t eat broccoli,” a weird musical interlude, more man in suit minsters and aliens, “Dad” advice, a sword made out of body parts, and a brilliant fucking ending.

Best lines: “Switcheroo!,” “Shovel faster, numbnuts!,” “What’s the deal with monsters? Are they real? Are they fake? All of the above?,” “Suck my dick, asshole! It was dark! And that’s a nice frame,” “This is a really big hole,” “So much for democracy,” “Can you dig it?,” “Stop jumping at everything!,” “Is that fear I smell?,” “Stop messing around and explain, scum,” “Stop that annoying clapping! His name will be Psycho Goreman! PG for short,” “You will suffer in eternity for this! Yeah, yeah, bye!,” “May the Gods watch over me!,” “I do not care for hunky boys. Or do I?,” “Nice meeting you. It would be nicer if you were dead. Okay. Bye,” “Should I go? This is getting kind of weird,” “I will kill you. I will kill you,” “Wow! I wish my face could do that!,” “I have no idea what’s going on, do you?,” “Here. Another contestant for your game of nonsense,” “Frig off!,” “Find me! Find me or you all die!,” “Endless servitude. Sounds like being married to you, Susan!,” “Stop hogging those bloodless, they’re for everyone!,” “So this TV won’t stop bleeding,” “I don’t understand sports,” “The switcheroo!,” “What is this? Is this love?,” “You’re toast now you big metal moron!,” “Not my hunky boys!,” and “You know, I remember when this was a shoe factory.”

Rating: 10.0/10.0

**

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Things to Watch Out For

–Money Plane: This low budget action flick features a top notch cast with WWE superstar Adam Copeland (known in pro wrestling as Edge) starring alongside Kelsey Grammer, Thomas Jane, and Denise Richards, and has Copeland’s character as a big time professional thief with huge debts who is hired to rob an air casino. Now, you’d think that this story would have already been done by a big budget movie studio because the premise sounds insane (how the hell is this not a Michael Bay movie? Why didn’t Jerry Bruckheimer already make this?), but sometimes it’s best if the low budget folks give it a shot first. I haven’t seen this yet (it did get some sort of release earlier, I can’t remember if it was a theatrical release or a Video on Demand thing) but it’s definitely something I want to check out. I always figured that Copeland/Edge would have become a biggish low budget action movie star once he started acting more than wrestling. Now that he’s back in the ring, I doubt Copeland will have the time to make these kinds of movies (or any kind of movie, actually). Why isn’t the WWE making more movies starring its performers? You’d think, with the WWE Network and all that, that WWE Films would be a bigger thing. Anyone out there see this?

–Vanguard: This is the new Jackie Chan action flick where Chan is the head of a, I guess, private security outfit called Vanguard that’s hired to deal with various global issues or some such. The plot of the movie seems to have Vanguard doing battle against a rival security outfit that wants someone dead. Chan and Vanguard seem to fight these bad guys all over the world. The trailer is exciting, and the movie as a whole gives off a “big budget summer blockbuster” vibe. Is that the movie actually is? I have no idea. I do want to see it, though. The action looks amazing. And, hell, Stanley Tong is the director and he’s worked with Chan several times before, so you know that it will have a certain quality before you even see it. Anyone out there see this one?

–Russian Raid: This, I guess, is a Russian riff on the now classic The Raid: Redemption from writer/director Gareth Evans and star Iko Uwais. I mean, both the title and the trailer definitely give off that vibe. Now, will Russian Raid be as good as The Raid: Redemption or The Raid 2? I have no idea. But, with rumors of an American remake/riff seemingly in the news every few months, why not have various international riffs on the same story from around the world? There are plenty of badass international martial artists and action people in general, so let’s see what they all have to offer for this kind of story?

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Next Issue: Debuary in March continues with Filthy McNasty starring Debbie Rochon!

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PG: Psycho Goreman

Nita-Josee Hanna– Mimi
Owen Myre– Luke
Mathew Ninaber– PG: Psycho Goreman (physical performance)
Steven Vlahos– PG: Psycho Goreman (voice)
Adam Brooks– Greg
Alexis Kara Hancey- Susan
Kristen MacCulloch– Pandora (physical performance)
Anna Tierney– Pandora (voice)
Roxine Latoya Plummer– Human Pandora
Scout Flint– Alastair

(check out the rest of the cast here)

Directed by Steven Kostanski
Screenplay by Steven Kostanski

Distributed by RLJE Films and Shudder

Not Rated
Runtime– 95 minutes

Buy it here. The movie is also available on Blu-ray and various Video On Demand platforms.