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The Man Movie Encyclopedia: Boyka

June 7, 2017 | Posted by Caliber Winfield
Boyka: Undisputed 4

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Greetings, all.

Your boy Caliber apologizes for not being around last week. It’s been a hell of a couple weeks, and thankfully things are getting back to normal.

Hope you cats are doing well.

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We open up with Boyka in a fight, naturally winning. Then we head on over to a hardcore prison where some cat fights a monster, and basically last about 30 seconds before being powerbombed and punched to death.
Boyka’s manager tells him that he’s got him a fight coming up, and if he wins, he gets entered in an actual, legal fight tournament, something Boyka’s wanted for a while. The guy he goes up against is decent, with a lot of heart. The guy won’t stay down, and ends up dying. Boyka isn’t happy about this, and decides to head to Russia to confront the wife and tell her about it. Unfortunately for her, her husband was tied into the Russian mob, and owed a bit of money. She ends up being the one to pay them back, working in a club. Boyka shows up there, only to get hassled by the mob cats and kicked out before he can say anything, and of course he has to beat the shit out of a few of them.
He finally gets a hold of her, and she isn’t too pleased with him, as he tells her what he’s done, and tries to give her the money he won in the fight. He’s a better man than me, as he straight up tells her. Your boy Caliber on the other hand, nope, nothing doing.

Caliber: So, hey….how’s things?
Fighter’s Widow: Um…good, do I know you?
Caliber: I uh…yeah, you know, I’m a fighter. Just, ya know, in town…
Fighter’s Widow: And?
Caliber: Ah…ya know, how about this weather, right? So, I was head to McDonalds and wanted to order a Big Ma-IAccidentallyKilledYourHusbandInAFightSuperSorryMyBad-c, and they completely goofed my order.
Fighter’s Widow: What did you just say?!
Caliber: Yup. Completely fucked the order. Ruined my day, man.
Fighter’s Widow: You just said you killed my husband in a fight?!
Caliber: Mmm…nope. Nope don’t remember saying that. I do remember the Big Mac thing, because, like I said, day ruiner. But uh, killing your husband? Nope. Ya know, I gotta go, left something important on or something…but uh, definitely didn’t kill your husband, so, let’s just stop talking about that. OK, bye then.

Eventually he gets the skinny, that she’s basically property to these cats, and he agrees to fight for them, three fights, if it wipes her debt, to which they agree. His first fight goes off without a hitch, naturally. His second fight is a handicapped match, where he has to fight two brothers at once. This one doesn’t go as easy, and he actually gets injured when he’s drop kicked in the back. He ends up taking them out, but has to limp out of the ring. Later, because he’s training at the school where she teaches, she comes in with a special ointment for his back, and offers to apply it. He’s reluctant, but allows it. However, I’m expecting him to pull a smooth Caliber move and be all “Ah, I took a nasty shot to the junk too. Yeah, I dunno if you saw it, it was like, 300 punches. Right in the hangdang. Yup…so…”

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The mob cat pays one of his tame cops to bring him the Nightmare, the uber-dude from the beginning.
He ends up taking on their champion, Igor, and while the guy puts up a decent fight, it isn’t much. As he tries to leave, he’s informed that he has to fight the Nightmare. All good with him, pretty much. The fight isn’t nearly the struggle you think it’s gonna be, as he eventually learns that like with all giant dudes, you just gotta chop’em down.

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Which he does with various arm-bars and leg-locks before doing what I can only describe as a cannon-ball drop kick, knocking the Nightmare both out and out of the ring. Of course, because the Russian mob guy is a Russian mob guy, he tries to renege on the deal and take the girl whilst having Boyka beaten down before being arrested. He doesn’t take kindly to this, so he beats the shit out of everyone with a bat before finally killing the Russian mobster, and THEN going back to jail. Eventually, she comes to visit him in jail and says she forgives him and all that, which I’m sure he basically wanted to say “Great. That’ll get me out of jail and into the professional MMA world that I belong in. Thanks!”. But in the end, he’s back doing what he does best, fighting in prisons.

MAN MOVIE ENCYCLOPEDIA TALLY:
1-Liners: 0
Guys Beat-Up: 16
Guys Killed: 1
Swear Words: 29
Boobies: 0
Explosions: 0
Chases: 0
Broken Bones: 0
Guy Get Girl: No
Guy Smoke: No.
Hotel Shoot-Out/Fight: Nope

C’MON BENNETT, LET’S PARTY!:
Boyka is a decent movie. There’s very little substance, of course, but if you’re into martial arts, there’s plenty of that. Although for me, I’m not a huge fan of the style that they use, because it really pushes the boundaries of reality, as guys are doing triple-kicks mid-air. Plus, they speed up the film a bit, and I’ve never been a fan of that. I’ll always champion Adkins, as I believe he’s the modern-day Jackie Chan, in that there is no better martial artist in movies. He’s a hell of an athlete. The movie is all about the final fight, and I felt it was underwhelming. That said, it’s worth a go if you like martial arts movies, or Scott Adkins.
3&1/4 Head-Butts Out Of 5.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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