Movies & TV / Columns

The Man Movie Encyclopedia: Top 5 Action Movies Of All Time

January 23, 2017 | Posted by Caliber Winfield

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Greetings, all.
A while back I did some Top 5 Action Movie countdowns from different decades, and since this week life got all in the way and prevented me from cutting a full article, I thought we’d do an all time, baby.

Also, got two new Man Movie Encyclopedia podcasts up, where we take a look at Casino Royale, and the movie that should be mandate viewing at weddings, Con Air. Dig it.

I remember when I first fell in love with action movies. I was a young lad, 6 or 7 at the time, and my dad brought home The American Ninja from the video store. It was that first viewing that sparked two loves: action movies, and ninjas. Until I was about 10 or 11, it was nothing but the American Ninja series, the Cannon Ninja movies, and whatever other martial arts gems I could find. As I grew up, I eventually found my way into the Terminators, Rockies, Rambos, Predators, and so on. I had a friend who grew up with these movies too, and when we use to hang out at his place he’d force us all to watch Die Hard, Conan, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Predator, and it was awesome. It was those repeated viewings with my friends where we’d have so much fun that I started appreciating them on another level.
People can claim that Citizen Kane is an all-time classic, but groups of friends don’t sit around and get drunk while watching it and reciting the entire thing. No one dresses up as Kane for Halloween. No one works out to look like Vito Corleone. These movies do so much more, and are worth so much more than just a simple watch or a simple review. They bring joy, inspiration, and a lot of fucking fun, forever. These films never tire. The icons, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Seagal, JCVD, Norris, they’re immortal to us. They’ve inspired countless people, and my entire generation of men. We love the one-liners, we love the over-the-top action, the sheer ridiculousness that comes with a lot of it that helps to make them so damn awesome.

Now, without further ado, let’s take a look at what your boy feels are the Top 5 Greatest Action Movies of All Time.

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5 – Commando
Commando is why this book exists. It’s the basis for all things an action movie should strive to be. It has a great plot that involves a family member needing rescue, an over-the-top villain in a chain-mail tank-top, a superhuman hero, tons of people dying, and of course, 1-liners. Commando is just a fucking blast. Arnold is everything we want in an action hero, and on the other side we have Bennett, a dude with zero muscle mass, a mustache, and my absolute favorite piece of clothing ever; the chain-mail tank-top. Little piece of trivia, I toyed with calling the MME articles Bennett And His Chain-Mail Tank-Top.

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4 – Kiss of the Dragon
I’ve said it before, so let it be known one more time: Luc Besson is an action movie God. The man behind Fifth Element, the Transporter series, Taken, and Unleashed, is Kiss of the Dragon. A movie not that well known, and it’s an absolute crime. Kiss of the Dragon is fucking amazing. It features Jet Li as a Hong Kong cop on loan in Paris, when he gets set up for a murder by crooked Paris cops, and their leader, who also happens to be piece of shit pimp that dopes girls up and forces them into prostitution. Jet Li is attempting to get back home to clear his name, when he befriends a hooker whose daughter is being held as a way to keep her on the streets. Naturally, the guy forcing her to do these things is the one who set him up. So, he starts off on an awesome path of vengeance that features ass-kicking from A to Z. What I love about this movie is that it’s throw back to martial arts films like Enter The Dragon in that we have our soulless villain who has a team of martial arts trained henchmen. Two of which are twins that fight in unison, except one is about 3 feet taller and 100lbs heavier. I mean, fucking awesome.

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3 – Robocop
Man, the days when ultra-violent, profanity-laced movies ended up becoming child favorites. Seriously, what a fucking movie. Every aspect of this film is a home run, from the casting, action, atmosphere, scenery, dialogue, villains, heroes, effects, action, it’s endless! Robocop features one of the best hero/villain relationships in movie history. Boddicker is one of the sickest bad-guys ever in action film, and legit gets under my skin to this day. From his casual sacrifice of his own men, to the sheer enjoyment he gets torturing and slaughtering police. You want to see him and his gang get in the worst way. And get it from who? One of the greatest action heroes of all time, Robocop. He looks fucking sweet, he has an awesome hand-cannon, and has the greatest voice of all time that lends itself to talking shit to bad guys before shooting them in the dick. Your move, creep.

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2 – Predator
Back in the day when a friend of mine became the first of our friends to have his own place, we’d hang out there constantly with zero question of what we’d have on the TV if we weren’t playing N64: Predator. I mean, c’mon. It has Arnold in his prime, flexing when he lands in a helicopter, flexing when he greets people, and flexing when he catches dog-tags. That alone qualifies it for a Top 5. You’ve got chew, chain guns, explosions, one-liners, and sweet jungle booby traps. The first half of the film is an awesome search & rescue action movie, with the second half serving as a science fiction slasher. Once just about everyone is dead, it’s Arnold vs The Predator, and man is that awesome. What a fucking movie.

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1 – The Expendables: Director’s Cut
Most people haven’t seen this film, and that’s a damn shame, because it’s the perfect action movie. I’d say it’s about 30%-40% different than the theatrical version, much more serious, with different music, dialogue, and extended scenes. Really, what the fuck more could I ever ask for? You have just about every great action hero together in one film, one-liners, tons of violence, car chases, fight scenes, and massive amounts of guns, knives, and explosions. It’s all put together with some great characters that all mesh well together, along with some awesome villains, especially Stone Cold Steve Austin who needs to be rocking the villain role a lot more. It’s a well made throw-back to the glory days that pays homage perfectly while doing it’s own thing, and is without a doubt my all time favorite action movie.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
Twitter: @CaliberWinfield
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I post almost daily with workout related stuff to help you cats out, along with what’s coming down the pike via the MME, and general pop culture from the 80s and 90s that I can’t seem to let go of.
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If you just can’t wait until next week, you can also find me at these fine places:
The Man Movie Encyclopedia: The Hall of Burly – Vol. 1 – A collection of the first 19 MME articles written for 411. You get all the classics like Commando, Robocop, and Die Hard, not to mention bad-assery such as Point Break and They Live. Beyond that, you also get two new articles. My Top 5 favorite action movies, and what I believe to be the Top 5 most over-the-top scenes in action movie history. I won’t lie, it’s the greatest self=help/martial arts instruction book of all time.

My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake – My brand new ebook that’s become so popular it’s charting on the album sales charts. I cover the Friday The 13th franchise in Man Movie Encyclopedia fashion, followed up by a few list-based articles, chronicling my favorite kills, moments from the franchise, and a few other subjects. $3 via amazon, or simply email me and get it for $2, either way, it’ll probably change your life.

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