Movies & TV / Columns

The Man Movie Encyclopedia: Top 8 Shoot-Outs

September 28, 2016 | Posted by Caliber Winfield

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Greetings, all.

OK, October is just around the corner. Last year at that time I spent the month taking a look at my favorite entries from my favorite horror series, Friday The 13th. This year, I was planning on doing the same. However, instead of heading back to Camp Crystal Lake, we’re heading to Springwood for a quick nap…

Alright, this week we’re heading to the Countdown Wing of the Hall of the Burly and looking at something that action films are built on: bullets. As it stands, there are only 2 ways to deal with your problems when you’re a man: 1. Bullets.

Before we get started, I’d like to state that yes, I left out Saving Private Ryan. Otherwise, it’d be #1. I just never considered it to be an action movie, honestly. Or at least not the kind of action movie I talk about here. Also, I was never that big a fan of John Woo’s non-English films, so I haven’t seen many of them, otherwise they’d be on this list too. So, before you all yell at me for those not being included. OK, on with the showski…

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8. ROBOCOP. So much to love about this scene. First off, the exchange between the dealer and Clarence before the shoot-out is just awesome “C’mon! The Tigers are playin…TO-NIGHT! I never miss a game”. I don’t know what it is about that, I just love it. Then, Robo joins the party by kicking down the door, and giving everyone a chance to come quietly. They decline his generous offer, and try their luck with the alternative, which doesn’t really pan out. What follows is Robo calmly walking through the place, blasting away, causing bodies to fall from walk-ways and squibs to blast like they were fired from an air cannon. After all the cats are dead, Robo interrogates Boddicker by throwing him through multiple sheets of glass as he spills his guts.


7.PREDATOR. While Predator is often recalled for it’s awesome man vs monster theme, people tend to over the look the awesome beginning, in which Dutch and the gang take on a camp full of soldiers. Setting it off with a remote bomb, they they proceed to take at it with AR-15s with the attached grenade launchers, bowie knives, and of course, mini-chain guns. Hell, air could explode in this environment, as bodies fly all over the place and Blaine gives us one of the burliest lines of all time “I ain’t got time to bleed”.


6. HARD TARGET. Man, do I love Hard Target. At the end of this film, Chance, his lady friend, and Wilfred Brimley are trapped in a warehouse with all the bad guys who are heavily armed. What proceeds is classic John Woo action, as we see JCVD dump no less than a full clip into each bad guy before kicking their ass. There’s a ton of explosions, slow-motion scenes, awesome deaths, and mullets, easily earning this a place among the greatest of all time. A fantastic end to a fantastic film.


5. RAMBO III. This scene is started by one of my favorite action-hero moments ever. Surrounded by Russians and steep mountain sides, Rambo is asked to surrender. His answer? “Fuck’em” as he fires off a grenade. It’s so burly that when I was watching this movie with my 7 year old nephew, he grew a beard. Anyway, after that moment we go to town as Rambo and Afghan rebels take on the no goodski Russians. Tons of weapons combat met with vehicle combat as tanks & helicopters chop up bodies & vehicles, and we even get a head-one crash involving the two, which is pretty freaking sweet.


4. THE EXPENDABLES II.Naturally, Expendables II wasn’t going to be far behind. At the end of this 5 star classic, JCVD’s henchman and The Expendables have a shoot out at a motel. Besides the usual gang, we have cameos from the likes of Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, and Arnold. Everyone is flying around, shooting and killing as they spout-off one-liners and inside jokes, basically making me as happy as I can possibly be. It’s an incredibly fun scene that also includes two great fights, one between Jason Statham and Scott Adkins, and Stallone vs JCVD. Just an awesome movie.


3. THE EXPENDABLES: DIRECTOR’S CUT. I’m referencing the far superior director’s cut here, just wanted to mention that to avoid any confusion. With The Expendables, I truly felt as if that film was being made for yours truly. At the end, the gang has all out-war with the small island’s army, and it’s fucking glorious. The direction is fantastic, as everything is fast paced, but never loses focus. Explosions abound as everything from grenades to Cesar’s awesome automatic shotgun destroy landscapes, as the rest of the gang put down body after body. One of my favorite moments sees Barney firing away with a 9mm, followed by dumping an old clip and reloading a fresh one almost faster than the eye can see, it’s incredible. We also get the sweet destruction of a helicopter as Cesar throws a shell into the air and Barney ignites it by shooting off a few rounds. Glorious stuff that I think fits perfectly with the movies lead song, Diamond Eyes.


2. PUNISHER: WAR ZONE. As a massive Punisher fan, I couldn’t be happier with War Zone. An absolutely underrated classic that brought to life my all-time favorite comic series, The Punisher: MAX. At the end of this masterpiece, Frank Castle takes on an entire building filled with multiple gangs, all armed with multiple guns. First he crashes through a window, and proceeds to rain down fire & brimstone as he kills around 10 million people with a machine gun, grenades, pistols, both automatic and traditional. It’s an absolutely insane way to the end a perfect film, as Punisher is right in his element, absolutely ruining everyone’s day.


1. COMMANDO. Like many other things owed to this film from the action genre, Commando brought us the first one-man vs 1000, and naturally, did it best. Armed to the fucking teeth, Matrix storms the base and personally sends everyone there an invitation to the business meeting. As in, their asses meeting the business end of his shoe. And fist. And machine gun. And grenades. And rocket launcher. It’s awesome. He sets up C4, and promptly blows everyone to hell, then starts blowing down doors with his rocket launcher, mowing down bad guy after bad guy with machine & shotguns. At one point he’s stuck in a shed, where’s most people would probably grow a vagina and die, Matrix uses axes & saw blades to finish the job. Matrix is so burly he could beat someone to death with a life-support machine. Naturally, it all culminates in a fight with Bennett, where Matrix gets him to let off quite a bit of steam.

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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My Summer Vacation At Camp Crystal Lake – My brand new ebook that’s become so popular it’s charting on the album sales charts. I cover the Friday The 13th franchise in Man Movie Encyclopedia fashion, followed up by a few list-based articles, chronicling my favorite kills, moments from the franchise, and a few other subjects. $3 via amazon, or simply email me and get it for $2, either way, it’ll probably change your life.

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