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The Slasher Movie Encyclopedia: Nightmare On Elm Street 5 – The Dream Child

October 18, 2018 | Posted by Caliber Winfield
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

Greetings, all!

We’re smackdab in the middle of our tour of Elm Street’s lesser halves. Now, maybe it’s just me, and I’m sure that it is, but to me, Friday The 13th doesn’t have any out-right bad entries. Sure, there are some who dislike Part’s 5, 8, and 9, but do you really REALLY dislike them? As in, as a whole there’s nothing redeemable? Because for me, I find so much of the entries redeemable and fun, yet when it comes to the bad of Elm Street, I pretty much just never watch part 2, 5, and 6. But then again, I enjoy Halloween: Resurrection, so what the hell do I know about taste?

Alright, kids, on with the show!

NOES5Header

We open up with some folks either working out, or getting down to the business of getting down. I’m thinking working out. It’s Lisa & Dan from the Dream Master. After their dirty deeds, Lisa hits the showers, where it suddenly starts to fill up, and she almost drowns, if not for suddenly the door bursting open and her falling into a dungeon. It’s there she finds herself where Freddy was born, in the insane asylum where his mother, a nun, was locked up over the weekend with 100 crazy folk. Hence Freddy’s nickname, the bastard son of a 100 maniacs. OK, first off, what kind of asylum do they just throw people in a giant room to walk around, without taking a roll call? Also, how the hell is someone locked in there for a weekend? Do they not feed these people? They figure they’d just throw 100 violent, insane criminals in a room together and hope for the best? I dunno, call me crazy [no pun intended], but I don’t think that’d be the best way to handle things. And how did no one speak up during the discussion of these being standard operating procedures?

Clinic Director: OK…so, let’s just throw the 100 worst into a room to wander around and make goofy faces, except for the guy who looks like Freddy without make-up, because he looks legit menacing.
Underling: Gee, I dunno, that doesn’t seem like it would bare many fruitful outcomes.
Clinic Director: What are you trying to say, that I’m wrong? I remember when I was the manager of a daycare, and everyone thought it was best I didn’t grab the children by their legs and swing them over the top of my head like a lasso ropes! But ah ha, zero complaints!
Underling: Wasn’t that daycare shut down 1 hour into day one of operations, sir?
Clinic Director: ZERO!

So, Lisa & Dan and their new gang of pointless friends all graduate. We have the model with an eating ordeal named Greta, a swimmer friend named Yvonne, and a comic book nerd named Mark Later on Lisa has a dream about Freddy’s mother giving birth to some mutant baby, who then finds where Freddy last died, and tadow, he’s back in business. Only this time, it happened while Lisa was awake. Well, she calls to tell Dan this news, and this results in him coming to see her. However, he falls asleep, and Freddy takes the wheel. It’s an odd ordeal, really. Because the truck he’s driving crashes, which sends him through the windshield, landing in the pool room of the high school, gets out, gets on a motorcycle, at which point Freddy turns into the bike, and turns Dan into some weird, technoir monster. It’s really fucking weird, and extremely elaborate for Freddy.

NOES5Dan

Well, he dies, and we find out Lisa is pregnant. Hell, the entire hospital room, full of friends, and parents know before she does. HIPA, anyone? So, Lisa does the next logical, smart thing, and tells her friends about Freddy. Because, as we know, learning of him, being afraid, that gives him is power, so, let’s of course put out a giant billboard telling everyone to be afraid. Aces.

Next up to die, Greta. This is the one, the one that traumatized me as a child. And it’s literally NOTHING like I remember. I recall her being served her own guts, and it being super graphic. This was absolutely nothing. Wow. Also, why does dinner at her parents look like the same exact dinner from Beetlejuice? I am PISSED there was ZERO calypso being played.

So, we then go to Mark, the comic book dweeb who was in love with Greta. He’s bummed, so Alice hangs out. He actually believes her about Freddy. Which is why when she goes to make coffee, he INSANTLY goes to sleep. OK, so Dan falls asleep while driving, Greta at the dinner table, and Mark 10 seconds after being told not to fall asleep. What the hell is with these kids? How are they able to fall asleep on a dime just like that? So, Alice heads into Mark’s dream, and it’s there we see her baby, grown about 5 years, his name is Jacob. Lisa deduces that Freddy is getting in through her kid’s nightmares.

NOES5Jacob

Well, Alice and Mark do some research and come to the conclusion that Freddy’s mother’s soul is trapped in tournament, and they need to find it and free her. Naturally, she tells Mark not to fall asleep, which is literally the same as forcing him to eat sleeping pills.

Yvonne also has an encounter with Freddy, and learns that Alice isn’t crazy. Elsewhere, Mark gets sucked into the comics where he does battle with Freddy, at one point turning into his own comic book creation, the Phantom Prowler. He puts a few bullets into Freddy, only for us to get Super Freddy! Really, as bad as this movie is, this is definitely a franchise highlight. Mark’s ridiculous outfit pops very hard against the black & white atmosphere, and the whole ordeal is just fun.

NOES5Mark

So, Yvonne is sent to the tower where Freddy’s mom apparently hung herself, while Alice goes into dream land to do battle. Jacob is there, and we learn that Freddy has been inside Alice, or some damned thing that really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Yvonne finds some random room in the tower, where I guess Amanda Krueger’s body, or….fuck, I got NO idea, is, and she touches it, which then allows…I don’t know, her to get into the dream world. She then tells Jacob to use his powers that Freddy has given him. So, he barfs on Freddy, which then turns into the souls of her friends, who then drag the baby Krueger from before out of the body, and then it’s absorbed into Amanda. Yes, what you just read is what happened. What in the sweet merciful holy hell….that…wow that was really bad, and really lame.

Official Slasher Movie Encyclopedia Tally:
Killed: 3
Swear: 5
Boobs: 2
Slow Motion Scenes: 0
Foot Chases: 1
Fake-Out Scares [ie, a cat]: 0
Car Stalling: N
Instances of Drugs/Drinking/Sex: Yes
Warned But No Belief: Yes

Box-Office Business:
Costing $3 million total to make, New Line Cinema was hoping that this film would do 70% of what the original did, but it ended up doing quite a bit better, with a grand total of $30 million dollars.

Things You Need To Know In Order To Survive:
When Jacob says “School’s out, Krueger!”, that was a replacement line. He was suppose to say “Fuck you, Krueger!” but his parents weren’t having it.

They rushed this film so badly, that they gave director Stephen Hopkins 4 weeks to shoot, then 4 weeks to edit. He did so, and they were so impressed that he got the job directing Predator 2.

Both Stephen King and Frank Miller were both offered the jobs of writing & directing.

The poster came out before they knew completely what the plot was, so, they just threw some things together.

1989 is the only year that the champions of horror all released a film. Halloween 5, Friday the 13th part 8, and The Dream Child. All of these are arguably the worst of their franchise too.

Apparently when it came out on VHS, it was unedited. That’s why I remember Greta’s death being way worse than it was.

Final Rating:
Wow, I thought Freddy’s Dead was bad, but this is REALLY bad. I mean, we get 3 deaths, that’s it. Only one of them is cool, there’s little to no gore, and damn near NOTHING makes sense. That last 10 minutes or so is some of the most convoluted, ridiculous, confusing BS that I’ve ever seen in a horror franchise. New Line got way too cocky due to the success of the franchise, and literally rushed this film out in less than a year since part 4. Which has to be why this script is so damn terrible. I literally waited almost 30 years to watch this movie again, and, I should have waited longer.
2 Head-Butts Out Of 5

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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