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The Slasher Movie Encyclopedia: Friday The 13th – The Final Chapter

November 1, 2015 | Posted by Caliber Winfield
Friday The 13th – The Final Chapter

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Greetings, all.

OK, I know last week I said our romp through Camp Crystal Lake was over, but I felt I cheated you guys by not truly talking about my Top 4 favorites. Especially since one of them is an all time classic in the horror genre, and often considered the best of the entire franchise. Plus, this comes out at midnight on Halloween, and that’s super spooky.

No reader mail to speak of this week. I mean, you cats commented and such, which I love, but nothing that really felt like you were dying to hear my response. As always, I appreciate the hell out of the kind words, and anyone who takes the time to read my work. So, instead of some reader feedback, let’s pose a question to you guys.

What’d you think of Fear The Walking Dead? When I first heard the concept, I was really excited. I loved the idea of seeing the whole zombie apocalypse as it happens, to a different cast of people. Not to mention, even though I watch The Walking Dead, I couldn’t give a shit about any of the characters. Not a single one. They’re all pretty much the same, no one is interesting, and they all dress like communists. I mean, seriously, there isn’t a bright piece of clothing ANYWHERE? Ever since the end of the first season, and Darabont left, the quality just hasn’t been up to snuff.
Well, the first season of Fear TWD came and went, and it was pretty yawn. Seriously, is anything tied to this series capable of having great characters? This show moved at a snail’s pace with some bland characters that I didn’t give a damn about. I hope things pick up for the second season, or better yet, we follow a new group of people.
What did you guys think?

While you ponder, let’s head on down to Camp Crystal Lake, baby. I hear Jason’s dead, and it’s time to party to some White Lion.

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Friday 4 begins with one of the best montages of all time, as Paul from part 2 tells us all about Jason, spliced in with the greatest hits of the last 3 films. Then, there’s no breaking glass, there’s no weirdo-disco
theme, hell no, then there’s an explosion as we’re catapulted into The Final Chapter. Honestly, that opening was so burly my TV grew hair.

We pick up at Camp Crystal Lake, only hours after Jason as put down by Chris. They really went all out to recreate everything, including the fake deer. It’s funny that they made sure to match up that continuity, but later one couldn’t be bothered with little details such as Jason’s face looking the same from film to film. We go through the crime scene, as firemen, cops, and paramedics tend to everything. We see the police take the axe that Chris used on Jason and put it in the world’s smallest evidence bag.

CSI Guy #1: Goddamnit, Larry. Again?! C’mon, man! Why don’t you EVER bring the big evidence bags?!
CSI Guy #2: What? We don’t need them! I don’t think they’re necessary.
CSI Guy #1: Dude, just because like 3 months ago there were TWO murders back to back that were committed with manicuring scissors you think the small evidence bag is the answer to all of life’s problems! What if we were in Texas?! ‘Oh, hey, no problem guys, just put it here in this snack-sized raisin box!’.
CSI Guy #2: Bro, I watch MacGyver. Here, let’s remove the bottom off this bag and attach it to another.

Two paramedics strap up Jason to a gurney as we head to the hospital. It’s here we meet Axel, the rockstar of all corners. You know this guy just slays the babes as within 10 seconds of meeting this cat, he puts his sandwich on a dead body and makes a necrophilia joke. I’m surprised he didn’t put Jason’s mask on and go running into Chris’ room where she was recovering, then come back and tell everyone how the girl in room F13 is a bitch who couldn’t take a joke. Anyway, after they drop off Jason’s body, Axel gets tired of wasting his time at work with work and instead hunts down a hot nurse. There’s one who happens to be helpless to Axel’s charms, as some girls just can’t resist a guy with multiple date rape charges. I’ve employed some of Axel’s techniques myself, and lemme tell you, there isn’t a girl alive who can resist a guy that watches weird exercise/fetish/soft core porn videos. They’re like bees to honey. Even though she’s all about Axel, she at one point calls him “the Super Bowl of Self-Abuse”.
Now you know, you just KNOW that someone was woken up over that line. That the person who wrote it immediately woke up a loved one, or a stranger, whatever, to tell them about the line that will cement their spot on a future episode of Lifestyles of The Rich & Famous, with the house that The Super Bowl of Self Abuse built. Anyway, they start making out in the morgue, and the girl gets freaked out because Jason’s hand falls off the gurney and brushes her leg. God, leave it to a woman to let a simple thing like touching a corpse ruin the mood. Well, she splits and gets back to work, and Axel gets back to his softcore jazzercise porn. Just as he’s getting into
the zone, Jason finally returns and saws about half-way through his neck with a bonesaw [who’s reeaaaddyyyy!] before retching it 180 degrees. It’s a hell of a kill. He soon catches up with the nurse and guts her.

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Back over at Camp Crystal Lake, we meet the Jarvis family. There’s Tommy, young bad-ass who creates masks & props, and digs playing Zaxon. His sister, who digs hunters, and their mother, who left the kids’ father in order to start up a relationship with the kitchen towel. I’m serious, she’s rarely seen in this film not toweling herself off. After this we meet a group of joyful youths who are renting a cabin that’s next door to the Jarvis’. First up we meet Teddy, computer engineer, as he gives his friend shit for breaking up with “BJ” Betty. I’m not sure what BJ means, probably name initials, so she’s likely named Blanche Joanna Betty or something. Well, Jimbo is a bit depressed, and Teddy, after running the information through his computer, deduces that Jimbo is a dead-fuck. Jim is distressed with the computer’s read out, and the fact that while they’re on this trip he’s going to miss his favorite TV show, Science Fiction Theater. Meanwhile, the gang passes a hitchhiker who asks for a ride, but receives taunts instead. She anticipates these taunts as she has a sign that reads “Fuck you” already to go. As she sits back down to have a banana, Jason walks up and drives a knife through her throat, causing her to crush the banana in the mid-st of her death rattle. It’s a really well done sequence.

So, the group arrives and Gordon, the Jarvis’ dog, Trish, and Tommy all make nice and meet each other. Later that night while in bed, Tommy realizes he can see across the way into the neighbors house and notices Sam getting undressed, and promptly loses his shit. I mean, what kid at his age wouldn’t? I would especially, since it’s the girl from American Ninja. It’s just a fun moment. Later that next day, the group all head down to the river, and on their way meet these two girls who are about as hot as someone at a family reunion. These girls have the capability, but the wardrobe department thought it’d be best if the girls were dressed in a style that can only be described as “sexy living-room”. So, once down at the river they start using a rope swing and Teddy loses his shit. You’d seriously think this guy was flying on a jetpack and blasting two rocket-launchers while playing in the Superbowl or something. Even more amazing than Teddy’s reaction is the lameness of this rope-swing.
You swing for about half a second before you crash into the water groin first, then float to the top in pain as you hear that idiot Teddy screaming like he just struck oil.
Else where, Trish & Tommy are heading back from town when the car gives out. Naturally, since Tommy is a 10 year old, he’s the one who gets out to fix it. He has no luck until a friendly stranger just comes barging out of the woods with a greeting. I always thought it was funny how he just scared the hell out of Tommy, but paid that no mind and went right into the greeting. His name is Rob, and he says he’s hunting bear, but I think he’s full of crap. I think he’s hunting dear, personally.

Night time arrives, and the kids start their hoopering & hollering. The twins came back to the house with them in order to engage in beer shotgunning and White Lion. This time the twins are dressed in something from the “Sensual Sofa” collection. One of’em tries putting the moves on Paul, which naturally pisses off Sam, so she deals with it by going for a swim and hanging out in a raft in the middle of the lake. Jason doesn’t take too kindly to this and drives a machete through her and the raft, then seemingly repairs it with Fix-A-Flat or something because the raft doesn’t sink. Paul soon shows up and discovers the body, which sends him flying back to shore. He tries to climb up on the dock, but oh man, does he get it. Jason drives a harpoon gun right into Paul’s junk and PULLS THE TRIGGER! Then he hoists the guy up, with all his bodyweight resting on the harpoon gun. Fucking brutal. Rob hears the screams and leaves his camp sight in search of Jason, however, Jason is playing games with him as he doubled back to Rob’s camp to break his rifle and crumple up his map. I always loved that. He doesn’t rip it up. He just crumples it like “Ha, good luck folding that back up, jerk!” Good thing Rob didn’t have any salt shakers on hand otherwise Jason mind have also loosened the tops. Seriously, I never understood how a dude could brutally kill a guy via his groin, and then next just crumple a guy’s map. But I suppose Jason is a complex man.

Big J heads to the houses now in order to get some serious work done. Inside, everyone has paired off, well, almost everyone. One of the twins, Tina, has gone with Jimbo, the other, Terri, has to avoid Ted, who some how can’t seem to close to deal, despite the fact he’s pulled out the goods; 1940’s stag films. What woman could resist a guy watching 1940’s porn and calling all the women pigs? Well, she decides to leave and gets impaled by Jason for her troubles. It’s an awesome shot that works in the “less is more” vein. Sarah & Doug head up stairs while Jimbo has just done the deed with Tina, and does the one thing that turns chicks on big time, asks how he was in a very meek manner. That sorta stuff drives them wild. Well, he heads down stairs to flaunt his conquest with Ted, and they decide they need to celebrate. We then get one of the greatest scenes in Friday history as Jimbo asks for the cork-screw, only to get it shoved through his hand, and a meat cleaver driven through half his skull. It’s an awesome effect, and one I’m surprised wasn’t completely cut. Back up stairs, Tina looks out the window and notices that her sister’s bike is still around. She gets a closer look when Jason pulls her through a window and sends her crashing down onto a car below. Afterwards, Ted is still watching the stag films, and even Jason is annoyed with them at this point, cutting the film reel and then stabbing Ted in the back of the skull with a kitchen knife. While all this is going on, Sarah & Doug are canoodling in the shower, and Sarah decides to hop out and dry off while Doug finishes up. Well, while she’s drying her hair, Jason shows up and crushes Doug’s skull. Just like a woman, you know? She’s around when it’s kissy time, but when skulls start getting crushed, where are they? She soon gets hers, as she wonders why Doug is no longer singing, and finds him bloody, beaten, and lying in shards of broken glass. She runs down stairs in hopes of getting outside, but the front door is locked. As she fumbles with the door-knob, a piece of the door explodes and an axe buries itself into her sternum.

Trish & Tommy arrive home to discover their mother is missing, and Trish heads out to find her. She eventually comes across Rob’s tent, and he explains what it is he’s really up to. His sister, Sandra [the girl who was shishkabobbed in part II] was killed, and he’s out looking for revenge. They decide to head back to her house to warn Tommy, and then saunter on over next door, which I always thought made Trish the worst sister ever. Sure, OK, show up with Handsome Forrest Hobo, scare the living hell out of me, and then leave. Well, they head next door and soon discover that Jason is in fact here. Rob tries to fight him, but apparently the karate he studied at the YMCA didn’t do him a lick of good, as Jason drives a garden utensil into his chest over and over again. It’s a pretty gnarly scene, as it’s very dark, and you can barely make out what’s going on, and this once tough guy is now in full blown panic mode as he realizes how real shit is getting and that he’s in fact going to die. Trish high-tails it out of there, but has trouble getting out as Jason has planted bodies all over the house, the most awesome being Jimbo hung up like a net in the door way. She escapes to the house and uses a few nails to hammer things shut, which should stop Jason good and well, but then he just throws Rob’s body through a window. He finally says screw being subtle and just busts through the front door, and hucks a hammer at Trish, which crashes into the wall. Now, the reason I bring up this minor detail, is because I can’t explain what’s going on with the hammer. Look at your copy of Friday 4. What is the hammer stuck to? It looks like someone just glued the top of it to the wall, as it’s sticking straight out. Odd.

So, Jason & Trish have one of the series best chases, with Jason being legit scary in this one. He’s hulking, menacing, and running. This film is full of incredible shots, but one of, if not the best, is when Trish arrives back home, and stops to catch her breath for a moment. Then, from behind, out of focus, Jason stalks into frame out of the shadows. It’s fucking creepy. At this point they do major battle, and Tommy attempts to freak out Jason by looking like him as a child. I gotta admit, that’d throw me off.

Caliber The Killer: Alright, time to kill some—-huh? Well…now what the hell is that? Why is this kid holding Tommy’s Dragon Flute? Is that Mortal Kombat II?! Oh, shit. No, kid, Liu Kang’s Dragon Fatality is get within sweep range and then down, forward, back, back, high kick! Dude, play the flute! You got some GI Joes too? Oh man, let’s ge—*machete to the face*

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Well, much like me as a killer, Jason is distracted long enough for Tina & Tommy to work their tag-team magic that ends with Jason’s machete driven into his skull, creating one of the series’ greatest deaths. I seriously can’t believe they got away with it, because it’s so brutal, and so bloody. Fantastic stuff, and so much better than if they’d gone with the microwave-exploding-head ordeal. Everything wraps up nicely, as Tommy bludgeons Jason until he’s pulp, thus ending the human existence of one Jason Voorhees.

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I wanted to include the back of the VHS, because when I was a kid there was nothing cooler than checking out the horror section at the video store. Before Friday 4 aired on TV, which was the only time I was allowed to see these, I had absolutely NO idea what was going on here. Why was that guy so afraid looking? And what the HELL? Was that Jason? Why was Jason 4 feet tall? Why was he playing computer games and wearing a satin jacket?! It was simply one of the oddest backs to a VHS I’d ever seen, and it gave you zero context.

Official Slasher Movie Encyclopedia Tally:
Killed:
13
Swear: 15
Boobs: 17
Slow Motion Scenes: 4
Foot Chases: 2
Fake-Out Scares [ie, a cat]: 8
Car Stalling: 1
Instances of Drugs/Drinking/Sex: Yup, we get all three.
Warned But No Belief: No

Top Three Deaths:
3. Jesus Jumping Christmas Deaths – Axel’s Decapitation –
This one is great for a number of reasons. Firstly, we’re waiting for Jason to come back to life, and you think you’re going to see it while Axel and the nurse are having a go. However, it’s once again postponed, until you’re pulled back into the world of Axel’s weirdo exercise-porn. Suddenly, Jason shows up with a surgical hacksaw, cuts a good portion of Axel’s neck and twists for all he’s worth. It’s bloody as all get out, and looks fantastic.

2. Now, Where Did I Put That Machete? – Jason’s Death – One of the most iconic kills in the entire series, which also has the distinction of being the only attempt to put Jason down that’s actually worked. It looks incredible as Tommy sinks the blade into Jason’s skull, who them stumbles around in pain, pouring blood, before falling to his knees, and finally face forward. Once that happens, the machete hits the ground, and Jason, still alive, slides down the blade.

1. TED! Where’s the corkscrew? TED?! – Jimmy Eats A Cleaver – How could this not be number one? You have Jimmy, fresh after a sexual conquest, looking to celebrate with a bit of the bubbly, and needing a corkscrew. Well, Jason being the fair sport, returns it, by stabbing it into Jimmy’s hand. While in shock, as well as being held in place, Jason nails him square in the face with a meat cleaver that creates a far too awesome kill, one that I’m shocked the MPAA even allowed.

Box-Office Business:
Released on April 13th, 1984 by Paramount Studios to 1,594 theaters. Friday The 13th came in at #1 for the weekend with a total of $11,183,148, and an average theater take of $7,015, knocking out the previous number one, Police Academy. Suck it, Mahoney. At the end of it’s run, it brought in $32,980,880, with a paltry budget of $2.6 million.

Things You Need To Know In Order To Survive:
Judie Aronson, the girl who played Samantha, developed hypothermia & become very sick due to her filming of the scene in the lake. A prosthetic body from the shoulders down was in the raft, while the rest of her was in the lake, that just so happened to be freezing. Zito wouldn’t let her get out between takes, and it took her lips turning blue, and Ted White threatening to quit for her to finally get proper treatment.

Due to the previous incident, as well as others, Ted White & Joe Zito butted heads, so much so that White demanded his name be taken off the film. Which is why he’s uncredited, and why he turned down the chance to play Jason in following sequels, something he admits to regretting.

The dance that Crispin Glover [Jimbo] does, was in fact a dance that Crispin was doing in clubs. He said during a Q&A once that the original song being used was Back In Black by AC/DC.

Lawrence Monoson [Teddy Bear] decided to be a method actor for his death scene, and got stoned before filming. He said he became increasingly paranoid and was one of the most unfavorable events in his life.

After Jason arrives in the morgue, there’s a moment where we’re left with him on the gurney and no one around. At this point we see something move underneath the sheet. Zito had actually called cut, and Ted started moving. The camera caught this, and they chose to use it. Wise decision, I think.

Apparently the character of Rob was suppose to have some sort of high-tech Jason tracking equipment. But the props looked lame, so they didn’t use them. It’s 1984, what on Earth would he have used? I suppose a Jason Alarm that beeps, and tells you what cabin he’s in? You can actually see this deleted footage on youtube.

The video Axel is watching is called Aerobicise, and actually stars Darcy DeMoss who later went on to play Nikki, Cort’s girlfriend in Jason Lives.

Camilla Moore [Tina] actually auditioned for the role of Samantha, but when they found out she had a twin sister they offered them the roles of Tina & Terri.

Final Rating:
In the World of Friday The 13th fans, Part 4 is as beloved as Part 5 is hated. It’s a genre defining, seminal classic, inspiring numerous film-makers, including Adam Green [the Hatchet trilogy] and Joe Lynch [Wrong Turn II] who even did their own commentary for the film on the deluxe DVD. Savini was brought back to deliver some of the series & best kills & effects, while Zito’s direction gave us some of the series most tense & unnerving moments. Actors like Crispin Glover & Corey Feldman each have their own unique talent & charisma, helping this cast to often stand out above the rest. This was the last time that Jason could be legitimately called scary, and really when he became the hero of the films. The film is a fucking blast, commanding the title of classic, deserving to be hailed so for as long as there’s cinema.

5 Head-Butts Out Of 5

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