The Slasher Movie Encyclopedia: The Devil’s Rejects

It’s October, beautiful people, and that means we leave the Hall of Burly for the Hall of Horrors, for the Slasher Movie Encyclopedia.

There was a recent sequel to Devil’s Rejects, 3 From Hell. If you funky cats are interested in what your boy thought about it, go have a looksee here.

Meanwhile, let’s go have a looksee at what is easily Rob Zombie’s best film…

We open up on the Firefly House finally, FINALLY getting their come-uppence, as the biggest bad-ass of all time, the coolest motherfucker ever, the guy the Fonz would be afraid of, a man who’d beat the shit out of you for bus fare and then walk home, Sheriff John Quicny Wydell, and he’s here to do what the Lord would call a cleansing of the wicked, or, as his brother George use to say, a 100% Alabama ass-kicking. They unload on the house, and the member’s inside fire back. However, Wydell is on a holy mission, and he refuses to die, as he marches inside that house blasting off shotgun rounds like they were free at the gun shop. They kill one of the members, the older brother, while the mother is arrested and Otis & Baby escape.

We then head on over to Captain Spaulding’s place where he’s having a good time with classic pornstar Ginger Lynn. She ends up shooting him after he’s called her a whore, but wakes up from the dream. His reality is that the girl he’s with his a big woman, and together, they’re the grossest things ever. The fact either can sleep with either is horrifying. He gets word that it’s going down, and heads out.
We then meet a pimp named Charlie and his crew, who soon learn they’re to be housing the fugitives. At the moment, they’re posted up at a local flea-bag motel, where a traveling band is also staying. Baby & Otis capture them in their room, and do the twisted, demented shit they always do with innocent people, that makes me that much more eager and happy to see Sheriff Wydell. He interviews Mother Firefly, but it’s not that productive, as she’s just fucking crazy. Meanwhile, Otis has taken the 2 dudes to a location where he’s buried some guns. They attack him, but unfortunately they’re punks, and he’s able to best them, and kill both of’em.
They figure out that these cats have an obsession with the Marx Brothers, and call in a movie critic who unfortunately says a derogatory word about Elvis Aaron Presley in the presence of Sheriff Wydell, and is promptly kicked out before he says something else, and has the living shit promptly kicked out of him. Such a fantastic scene, reminds me of something out of as Tarantino movie.

Back at the motel, Spaulding shows up, as does Otis. They split, and leave the remaining girl alive, albeit with her husband’s face, that Otis cut off, on her face. She loses her mind, obviously, and just starts to run until she’s hit by a semi-truck. Wydell then has a dream that his brother George, a cop who was killed in the first film, is stuck at the Firefly House until they’re all dead. So, Wydell does what has to be done, and starts with the mother. Walks right into the cell, and ices her. It’s fucking awesome. He’s also hired 2 mercenary/bounty hunter types to track the rest of the gang down.
We head back to Charlie’s where the gang arrives and they party with hookers, weed, coke, and booze. Eventually though, the party ends, as the Unholy Two and Wydell show up. Man, it grosses me out so much that chicks make out with or fuck with Spaulding & Otis. Their teeth are so gross and fucked, and Otis has been covered in dirt, sweat, and blood for days and has to stink to the high heavens.
It’s at this point I get an erection, and it doesn’t go away for a while, as the Rejects are beaten and tortured to shit. I absolutely love it.

He takes them back to their house, ties’em up, and does some awesome, awesome shit. The best is when he’s nailing victims photos to their body, and driving nails into Otis’ hands while he mocks his pain. It pisses me off, because they just aren’t tortured enough. This shit needed to go on for days, weeks, months. Let’em recover, get healthy, and start it all over. No mercy for pieces of shit like this. The fact I’ve heard people say they felt sympathetic to them makes me sick. Charley the pimp shows up to try and save them, but all he gets is an axe to the chest for his troubles. Good.
However, nothing lasts forever, as Wydell is killed by Tiny. Absolutely killed me when I first saw this, such a disappointment. However, I understand it for story telling purposes. The three then drive off, but are stopped by a police barricade where they drive into it, guns a blazing.

Official Slasher Movie Encyclopedia Tally:
Killed: 8
Swear: WELL over 200 [I honestly stopped counting, because they swore so much it was all I could focus on and it was ruining watching the movie]
Boobs: 4
Slow Motion Scenes: 2
Foot Chases: 2
Fake-Out Scares [ie, a cat]: 0
Car Stalling: No
Instances of Drugs/Drinking/Sex: Yes
Warned But No Belief: Yes

Things You Need To Know In Order To Survive:
Karen Black, the original Mama Firefly, wanted an increase in pay, however they felt she was replaceable, and hence was.

Dr. Satan was in the original film, with scenes of him being escorted out of the house on a gurney, and being in a coma in the hospital until he pops up and rips out Rosario Dawson’s throat. However, Rob felt it ruined the sense of realism he was going for with this one. I loved the Dr. Satan scenes, they would have fit just fine, I felt.

Matt McGrory who played Tiny, ended up dying in 2005 from natural causes.

Final Rating:
Even if this movie was nothing but clips of Sheriff Wydell calling people in the phone-book and just telling them they’re all a bunch of pussies, I’d give it a thumbs up. However, we get so much more. I will be upfront and admit that when I re-watch this movie, I always skip the scenes that involve Banjo & Sullivan. It’s just too brutal. There’s nothing fun or enjoyable about it. Beyond that, there’s so much to dig. I love the character of Charlie and his brothel, and the Unholy Two are great as well. Wydell of course steals the show, and the entire time he’s on screen I’m having the time of my life, especially when he’s torturing the Firefly family.
**** Head-Butts Out Of 5

Any questions, comments, drunk-ramblings, feel free to send them my way, I always dig hearing from you, the beautiful people.
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