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Hammer of Doom News Report 11.26.12: ‘Crossover Thrash Is Now Cool’ Edition

November 26, 2012 | Posted by Robert Cooper


Welcome, Metal Faithful, to the only meta place Chris Brown isn’t hitting up, the Hammer of Doom. I, as always, am your metal missionary, Robert Cooper, and I have fun for you this week. I have news, more news, albums stream, metal, more metal, I answer NONE of your comments from last week, and then we finish the, “South of the Border” Tour of Global Metal! I hope you all had a good Turkey Day, because I know I did…kind of….but I did listen to the new Ashpyx album during Thanksgiving, so there was that. But anywho…

..I’ll shut up so that you can hear…


Cerebral Bore Frontwoman Quits

Apparently she just abandoned the band the night before their tour started, at least that’s the story that Cerebral Bore gives. She will be replaced by Viral Load’s Shawn Whitaker.

Glen Drover Quits Geoff’s Queensryche

The reason he gave was, “I was excited about this, but in the past week, I’ve learned that doing this band would not be in my best interest”. That sounds like code for, “I got away while I could”.

Official Impaled Nazarene Beer Has Arrived

Really?….oh well, I’m still waiting on my Anal Cunt brand condoms.

Apocalyptica To Take Part In ‘Wagner Reloaded’ Event

This sounds really awesome, it’s basically Apocalyptica playing Wagner…you know, the composer.

Geoff Tate Explains Why I Don’t Enjoy Singing ‘Queen Of The Reich’ Anymore

He says it’s because no one knows the song and he gets weird looks when he plays it live, I think it’s because he can’t do it anymore. I’m sure “Queen” is one of their more popular songs.

Legendary Guitarist Uli Jon Roth To Embark On 40th-Anniversary North American Tour

WOO!…still no NC dates…but come CA and NY dates along with Canada, and some other dates across the US.

AC/DC’s Entire Catalog Finally Available On iTunes

I personally don’t buy from iTunes (or very much online), but for anyone who wants their entire discography at the click of a mouse, this has to be an amazing thing for them.

Hard Rock album chartings

Only one of these albums are metal, or else I’d have had my typical segment for this stuff. Soundgarden’s new album reached No.5 on the Billboard 200. The new album by Deftones got to No.11, which is still pretty nifty, apparently, it’s a pretty damn good album!

Def Leppard Guitarist Phil Collen Presents Donation To Gerson Institute

So I totally forgot to talk about this earlier in the month, but Phil Collen auctioned off a guitar for an alternative treatment for cancer and other diseases non-profit organization. Once it sold for $15,000, Mr.Collen added $5,000 of his own money to make the total $20,000. Bravo to him for being an awesome fella!

If you can clap and read a book at the same time, applaud him and read with me from…


I Almost Agree with the MegaDave

So this week we get more quotage from ol’ Davey Boy Mustaine himself. This time he is taking on something I had no heard about on the regular news because I was too busy reading the metal news. Ted Turner (we remember him from the wrestling section, right?), he said that it was a good thing that the rate of military suicides in relation to combat deaths is a good thing. Here’s the quote…

“I think it’s good” that American soldiers are turning their guns on themselves, insisting that it shows humans aren’t meant to be put on the battlefield to bring death to others.

“It’s so clear that we’re programmed and we’re born to love and help each other, not to kill each other, to destroy each other,” he said. “That’s an aberration. That’s left over from hundreds of years ago. It’s time for to us start acting enlightened.”

Dammit, Billionaire Ted, that is a stupid ass thing to say. It is not a good thing for many reasons, but here’s why I think you’re wrong most of all. It is not because they’re “enlightened”, it’s because they’re scarred from war, and don’t feel that they can make it through the war, at least, if I were a soldier thinking of doing something that unfortunate, it’d be be a reason why. So after he said this, he hopped on his bicycle, and started backpedaling.

“During my recent interview on CNN’s ‘Piers Morgan Tonight’, I inadvertently used the word ‘good’ when asked for my thoughts on the increasing rate of suicide among U.S. military soldiers in the Middle East,” Turner said. “It was certainly not my intent to imply that suicide is ‘good.’ Rather, I was implying that it is good that the public is more aware of these tragedies and is more averse to war and war-related fatalities.

“My message has always been one of peace, I believe that we’re born programmed to love and help each other, not to kill or hurt each other. I strongly support our U.S. troops and would never intentionally say anything to harm the brave men and women serving our country. I deeply apologize for any misunderstanding caused by this comment.”

He really tried, but damn did he sound so stupid the first time, that it’s pretty hard to forgive him so quickly for that one. But next is why it’s in my metal column, the champion of conservative freedom, Dave Mustaine gave his recent thoughts at a concert on Ted’s words.

“I don’t know if you know this or not, but there was a guy that was on the news… I like to watch the news a lot, I’m sure you know that. I was watching the news and there was a guy that said… he thinks it’s good that the troops are committing suicide. Troops like us, you and me.

“Like when I was 18, I put my name in for the Selective Service, like all of us, our brothers, our sisters. He thinks it’s good that the troops are committing suicide.”

I was like, “you know what Dave, I think you make some sense, and I don’t like what he said earlier, either”. Then Dave said he was a soldier, and I read his book, I don’t recall anything about being a soldier, then I notcied that he said that his name was in the Selective Service, and my face met my palm. Really, dude? I registered for the Selective Service, and it was because I had to. Did this make me a soldier?…I don’t think so, last time I looked, I’m still a smartass college student writing about music, not a soldier.

I know that Megadeth and Dave himself have always been political, but sometimes, I think that he needs to cool his jets and talk about something cool, like Hanging with Mr. Cooper, that show was cool.

And So Do Anal Warts

In an interview this week, Dave Vincent (the frontman for Morbid Angel), was asked about the public’s reaction to ‘Illud Divinium Insanus’. Vincent said, “I think that it’s still growing on people”. My respongse is the title of this headline, above^. I listened to the album, and while I think that it was a soup and shit sandwhich, it has a few good tracks, “Blades for Baal”, was fucking badass, it was just heavy and brutal, as Morbid Angel should be. But for some reason, the rest of the album went in an odd direction with a lot of experimental stuff, and by experimental, I think it sounds like Rob Zombie, or Marilyn Manson. Those guys are fine, good, and dandy; but not when Morbid Angel is trying to play them, them and their “Kill a cop”. What should have been done, 8 songs of badass death metal, 4 songs of experimental hoopla doo-doo, so then the fanbase would only bitch half as much. Now for double videos…

I have a few words for this….

Metallica ties, they have those now. They come in two different designs, snakes, or ninjy stars. How much do they cost?….Why of course, $52.99! Don’t get me wrong, I really would like to have one, because it’d be cool to be metal with my tie, but seriously dudes?… You could have given us an ‘…And Justice’ tie or a ‘Ride the Lightning’ tie. So instead we have these low key ones based off of the ‘Black Album’, and the CD graphics on the ‘Load’ albums? Lame, but maybe if enough people buy these (as well as the ugly Slayer sweater that almost made it on here, if it hadn’t sold out) we could get even better things. Like an Anthrax postcard set…..

But this…set’s off my rage sensors…

I know, I know, this is stupid to report on, because quite honestly, I doubt Chris Brown even has a clue who in the world is on his jacket, but seriously, DA FUCK? I never knew that crossover thrash and studded leather had so much street cred attached to it, that some twat like Chris Brown would be wearing it. Just WHY? If he does listen to all of these bands, I give him major props, and if I didn’t, he’d beat me senseless. But regardless, I give my “GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT-WHAT-THE-FUCKING-FUCK-IS FUCKING-GOING-ON” award to this, because now crossover thrash is cool, and I am forever confused.


So first, we have a stream of the 30th anniversary album from teutonic thrash legends, Destruction, here is the stream of, ‘Spiritual Genocide’.

Second, the video for Nile’s “Enduring the Eternal Molestation of Flame” has been released.

FINALLY!, the stream for all three disks of Death’s, ‘Spiritual Healing’ reissue has arrived. I forgot to mention this came out last week, and I asked my parents if they could get me it for my birthday…I know, not exactly tough, or metal, but dammit, it was worth a try, then my mom told me that a band named Death is not one I should be listening to. I, of course, laughed my ass off at this.


But wait…..before you headbang for hours on end, come with me to…


So this week we have more metal than what came out last week *streamers and confetti*

We have ‘Controlled Elite’ from New York Death metal band Dehumanized

Next is ‘In Death’s Shadow’ by Austrailian Power/Thrash band Knightmare

Finally, we have ‘Saturn in Ascension’ by Denmark’s own Melodic Death/Doom band Saturnus.

This brings us to the ALBUM OF THE WEEK. This week it comes to us from the Pennsylvania Death metal wizards, Incantation, the album is called, ‘Vanquish in Vengeance’.

I’m chugging along with my listening of as many metal albums from 2012 as I can get my metal hands on. This unfortunately means that I’m going to have to start dropping albums from contention.

The albums in question are,

‘Horror Metal’ by Cadaveria, ‘Zero Distance EP’ by Dark Tranquility, ‘Like An Ever Flying Limb’ EP by General Surgery, ‘A War You Cannot Win’ by All That Remains, ‘Land of the Crimson Dawn’ by Freedom Call, and the last elimination for the week is, ‘Helvetios’ by Eluveitie. You’ll find out why these were eliminated once my Top 50 countdown starts in a few week!

Apparently it was quite in the halls last week but still walk with me to….


Sadly, I have had ZERO comments on last weeks’ column. Perhaps it was due to a lackluster column (I liked it) or Thanksgiving holiday, but I had nothing. Oh well, you guys and gals need to comment some albums for me to listen to for my 2012 Top 50.

So this week, I think we have finally finished up the, “South of the Border” Tour for Global Metal. The final country on our stop is Venezuela, and the band that I found is called Cultura Tres, and they have a cover of Black Sabbath’s “Black Sabbath”, check out the sludge!

Alright,so if you have any opinions on the column, some genre or country that you want me to feature in the global metal column, or if you just want to talk metal you can e-mail me at [email protected], tweet me at @themetalcoop or comment below!

In the words of my lord and yours, Chuck Schuldiner….KEEP THE METAL FAITH ALIVE m/


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