100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Cibernetico: The Animated Series

Easton, PA – 11.12.2011

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Gavin Loudspeaker, Mike Quackenbush, Wink Vavasseur, Leonard F. Chikarason, and Dr. Keith Lipinski.

Gavin Loudspeaker opens the show with another one of his awesome acoustic guitar songs. This one is about “High Noon”.

Ophidian says El Generico is the type of wrestler he’s been looking to face as of late. He says because of Generico’s reputation and accolades he commands respect everywhere he goes. Ophidian admits that wrestling career has been in shambles lately, which is why he NEEDS a win over Generico tonight to get back on the right track.

El Generico vs. Ophidian

Much like Ophidian’s match with Chuck Taylor at “Odyssey of the Twelfth Talisman”, this is a battle of Rey de Voladores champions. They fight for a waistlock on the mat. After a wristlock exchange, they sweep one another’s legs going for a quick pinfall. They reach a stalemate after neither man gets an advantage. Ophidian wristdrags Generico to the corner. Generico kicks him away and they circle the ring once again. Generico hops over Ophidian and then takes him down with a pair of armdrags. Ophidian reverses Generico’s toreador attempt, something his opponents never do. Ophidian ducks a clotheseline and hits the Déjà vu for two. Generico catches Ophidian with a quebradora. Generico snapmares him into a pin for two. Generico bodyslams him after a couple kicks on the mat for a two count. Generico goes for a split-legged moonsault. Ophidian rolls to the apron to avoid it. He comes back in with a springboard quebrada for two. Ophidian headstands into a headbutt for another two count. Ophidian leans back on Generico’s neck after locking his legs around Generico’s arms. Generico fights for a brainbuster. Ophidian fights back with some forearms and chops. Generico hits a pair of clotheslines and backdrops Ophidian in retaliation. Generico delivers a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Ophidian sole butts Generico to break a waistlock. Generico catches Ophidian coming off the ropes with a Michinoku Driver for two. Ophidian blocks the yakuza kick and comes off the top rope with double knees for two. Ophidian is in disbelief. Ophidian ducks another yakuza kick. He rolls up Generico’s shoulders into a prawn hold and only gets two again. Generico comes back with an exploder suplex into the turnbuckle. He finally hits the yakuza kick. Ophidian counters a brainbuster with a dragonrana for two! Ophidian kicks Generico in the head. Generico snapmares him to avoid the Ophidian Death Grip. Ophidian spin kicks Generico to block another yakuza kick. Ophidian heads up top for a 450 splash. He hits it but shockingly gets two. Ophidian brings Generico to the mat in the Death Grip. Generico wiggles to the ropes to break it. Ophidian headstands in the corner, giving Generico the opening to hit the yakuza kick. One half nelson suplex and brainbuster later, Generico gets the pin at 16:42. This was a tremendous opener in every aspect. Ophidian matched up with one of the top stars today, evading his signature moves like a student of the game. It took one foolish mistake for Generico to finally hit his yakuza kick and then it was game over for Ophidian. The rest of the undercard has a lot to live up to. ***1/2

Icarus makes his way to the ring as Gavin Loudspeaker is talking to the crowd. Icarus mentions that Gregory Iron, who was originally scheduled to face Darkness Crabtree, is not showing up tonight. It’s hard to hear what Icarus is saying because the fans are booing so loudly, but he essentially says Iron’s absence is another way for him to get sympathy from fans. Icarus guarantees Iron that if he shows up to “High Noon” tomorrow, he will make Iron’s cerebral palsy very real.

Grizzly Redwood says that it’s okay that things haven’t been great for him in CHIKARA lately. He says Jigsaw will be a challenge for him tonight comparing him to a big tree in the forest. Redwood plan to make a name for himself by beating Jigsaw down.

Jigsaw vs. Grizzly Redwood

Jigsaw brings Redwood to the mat in a surfboard, pulling his suspenders and then his beard before going with the more traditional wrist-lock version. He transitions to a Dragon Sleeper and snaps Redwood’s suspenders against his chest. He picks up Redwood and pulls him down by his beard in the Gory Gallows. Jigsaw releases and toreador’s Redwood to the corner. He sends him to the floor with dropkick. Redwood catches Jigsaw with a slingshot shoulder block from the apron. Redwood applies a chinlock. Jigsaw escapes by snapping his suspenders. Redwood chops Jigsaw in the corner. Jigsaw does the same and snaps the suspenders once again. Redwood gets two with a clothesline. Jigsaw lays in some kicks after Redwood chokes Jigsaw on the mat. Redwood maneuvers his way into an abdominal stretch. He chokes Jigsaw with his suspender while holding him in it. Jigsaw catches Redwood coming off the second rope. He throws him chest first to the mat and sends him to the floor with a running knee. Jigsaw suicide dives onto him. Jigsaw sunset flips Redwood back in the ring for two. He then superkicks Redwood and follows with a torture rack bomb for two. Redwood bites Jigsaw to block a move in the corner. Redwood huracanrana’s Jigsaw into the corner and follows up with a cannonball senton for two. Jigsaw hits a fall away enzuigiri to block a corner splash. Redwood schoolboys Jigsaw for two. Jigsaw grazes him with a pump kick. Redwood blocks a brainbuster with a Death Grip. Jigsaw backs to the corner to break it. Redwood avoids a springboard from Jigsaw. He spikes Jigsaw with a tornado DDT for the pin at 9:05. This is quite a shocking victory. With Jigsaw facing El Generico tomorrow and going to Osaka Pro soon, I figured Redwood would be a walk in the park for him. Needless to say, this is a big win for Redwood and could lead to big things for him in 2012. Redwood has obviously varied up his offense too which I always appreciate. **1/2

Steve “The Turtle” Weiner makes his way out to talk to the crowd. Weiner was not pleased to hear Icarus was accusing Iron for feigning his disability and claiming that Iron deliberately missed the show. Weiner says he can relate to Iron because he too is disabled by his autism and feels because of it that he wants to fight for Iron’s honor. With that, Weiner says he will take Iron’s place and take on Darkness Crabtree later tonight.

The Bravado Bros. are backstage. They say after tonight, everyone will hop aboard the Bravado Bandwagon. After both they and 3.0. are in the ring, Harlem introduces themselves as the fastest rising team in professional wrestling. The fans and 3.0. disagree. Lancelot says that their grandma said 3.0. would be acceptable opponents since they don’t wear masks like everyone else. Shane Matthews is too angry to speak clearly, so Jagged takes the microphone instead. Jagged says that the Bravado’s will feel the flow of 3.0. and Shane says their grandma felt it too.

3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. The Bravado Bros. (Harlem Bravado & Lancelot Bravado)

Jagged embarrasses Lancelot on the mat. He leg lariats Lancelot and dropkicks Harlem. 3.0. nail Harlem with a drop toe hold/elbow drop combo. The Bravado’s regroup on the floor. Matthews knocks down Harlem with a shoulder blocks. He pokes Matthews’ in the eyes which gets the referee in his face. Matthews slams Harlem and yells at the referee for causing it. This happens twice more. The referee accidentally trips Harlem. 3.0. then cause the referee to clothesline both Bravado’s to the floor. Jagged follows with a pescado. Lancelot gives Jagged a neckbreaker in the middle ropes as he tries to come back in the ring. The Bravado’s isolate Jagged in their corner. Jagged finally escapes by shoving Lancelot off the apron and hopping over Harlem. Matthews tags in and takes out both Bravado’s with his signature headscissors. He then shotgun dropkicks Lancelot to the apron. He spears Harlem after Jagged flapjacks him for two. The Bravado’s block 3.0. from the Sweet Taste of Professionalism. Harlem kicks Matthews into a powerbomb from Lancelot. Jagged breaks the pinfall. He and Lancelot trade punches in the middle of the ring. After the exchange, Jagged pops Lancelot into a spear from Matthews. Harlem breaks that count. Jagged tags Harlem with a discuss forearm. The Bravado’s hit the Gentlemen’s Agreement for a two count. Matthews causes the Bravado’s to crash into one another and rolls up Lancelot for two. Matthews catches Lancelot and turns him into the Sweet Taste of Professionalism (with Jagged) for the pin at 10:37. A very good debut for the Bravado’s. They didn’t bring as much goofiness as I thought they would, but 3.0. made up for that in spades. It was an entertaining match with some good action and a cool finish. I wonder if the Bravado Bandwagon could team up with CHIKARA’s Band leader. **1/2

Steve “The Turtle” Weiner vs. Darkness Crabtree

Crabtree wonders where Iron is after being woken up by the ring bell. Weiner tells him it was due to car trouble and tells Crabtree that he is more his speed. Weiner begins to easily win a test of strength with just one hand with no pressure. Weiner shoots Crabtree to the ropes out of a headlock. Weiner weakly shoulder blocks him to the mat. Weiner walks over him after he drops down to the mat. Weiner shoulder blocks him down again. Crabtree then jumps up and dropkicks Weiner in the gut. He removes to his mask to reveal that Icarus was under the mask the whole time. Weiner fires up as Icarus accidentally forearms his shell. Weiner lights him up in the corner. He misses a back splash in the corner and eats a clothesline for two. Icarus locks on a crossface, a move Iron uses himself. Weiner puts his foot on the rope to break the hold. Weiner goes to the top rope with Icarus and brings him down with a superplex that almost went horribly wrong. Weiner and Icarus exchange forearms. Weiner delivers a flurry of them to bring Icarus to the ropes. He drops Icarus with the Shell Shock and traps him with a Gedo Clutch for two. Icarus throws Weiner’s arm into the referee. While the referee is down, he nails Weiner with a loaded fanny pack for the pin at 7:45. Not much a match here, just more to set up Icarus’ match with Iron tomorrow night. To be fair, Weiner looked better in this match than he ever has before. This was effective and entertaining for the time it lasted. N/R

Icarus says he had planned for weeks to trap Iron under the guise of Crabtree and blames Weiner’s downfall tonight on him. Icarus claims he is stronger and better than anyone. As he’s talking, Gran Akuma enters the ring behind him. Once Icarus turns around and realizes Akuma is there, Icarus immediately bails and sprints backstage. Akuma leaves the arena right after. Feels good to see Akuma back.

Fire Ant vs. Chuck Taylor

Chuck Taylor makes his way to the ring from the side entrance with the Dragon Gate USA Open The Freedom Gate championship. He stole the title after losing to champion YAMATO earlier today in Philadelphia. He was so upset with the way the match ended that he stole the belt in protest. He enters in his hoodie and the gear he won earlier, leading us to believe that Taylor had no downtime between his drive from Philadelphia and this very match.

Fire Ant meets Taylor with a baseball slide dropkick before he can enter the ring. Taylor throws his gear bag into Fire Ant’s mid-section. He forearms Fire Ant in the back and throws him into some bleachers. Taylor boots Fire Ant in the gut. Fire Ant whips him into a few rows of chairs. Fire Ant goes for a huracanrana. Taylor blocks it with a powerbomb onto the bleachers. Taylor throws Fire Ant into the ring to officially start the match. He goes for a pin right away and only gets two. Taylor nails a beautiful dropkick for another two count. He throws Fire Ant to the mat once Fire Ant escapes a seated abdominal stretch. He pitches Fire Ant to the floor. He follows out and dragon kicks Fire Ant’s spine. Taylor takes a picture of himself and some vocal female children. Why? Because he’s Chuck Taylor. Back in the ring he whips Fire Ant into the corner and stomps him a few times. Fire Ant responds with a flying crossbody and a satellite DDT for two. Taylor rolls to the floor, so Fire Ant follows with a springboard plancha. In the ring, Taylor ducks an antzuigiri. Fire Ant blocks Sole Food and hits the Yahtzee Kick. Fire Ant then delivers a brainbuster for two. Taylor throws Fire Ant into the corner with a crucifix bomb. He turns Fire Ant into the Cross Crab. Fire Ant gets the ropes to break. Fire Ant turns a suplex into a stunner. Taylor wins a kick exchange. Fire Ant escapes the Awful Waffle. Fire Ant blocks a sunset flip with a kneeling frog press for the pin at 7:05. Kudos to Taylor for this being his second match of the night and making it as fun as it was. It’s impossible to put members of F.I.S.T. and the Colony together and get a bad match, and this was no exception. **3/4

Tim Donst says people don’t understand why he and Hallowicked have such a strong disliking for one another. Donst says it’s because most people have never held the Young Lions Cup before. He says once he won the Cup, he erased Hallowicked’s legacy as champion. He thinks everyone else knows this, but until Hallowicked learns it as well, he won’t stop with his attacks. Donst says the BDK will rise to the top at Hallowicked’s expense.

Torneo Cibernetico
Hallowicked, UltraMantis Black, Dasher Hatfield, Sugar Dunkerton, Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Green Ant & Sara Del Rey vs. Tim Donst, Delirious, Jakob Hammermeier, Tursas, Ares, Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald

Because of the nature of this match, no play by play we’ll be done. I’ll list the eliminations (in order) and other interesting/important notes of the match.

The Rules

Lucha tags are in effect, meaning in addition to physically contacting a wrestler, leaving the ring counts as a legal tag. Each team has a batting order that must be followed. That means that the wrestler in the ring must tag out to the next man in the batting order. Only the next wrestler in the batting order is up on the apron while the remaining teammates on each team wait on the floor. If the batting order is broken, the team can be disqualified. The order in which the participants are listed above is the batting order for both teams. The match is under elimination rules by pinfall, submission, disqualification or count out. There can only be one winner, so if more than one man on a team survives when all members of another team have been eliminated, those teammates must wrestle each other to determine the winner.

Eliminations

– Kobald falls victim to the first elimination, losing to Sara Del Rey’s Royal Butterfly at 8:39. Sara side stepped a spear and trapped Kobald in the move to send him packing.
– Sugar Dunkerton gets eliminated at 15:16 via the Donstitution from Tim Donst. Kodama and Obariyon had worn him down and Kodama was about to go for his flying blockbuster. Glory hound Donst however blind tagged himself in and took the pin.
– Kodama is eliminated at 18:32 via O’Connor Roll by Sara. Sara shoved Kodama to his corner where he knocked Donst off the apron. Sara used the momentum to roll Kodama into the pin.
– Matt Jackson gets pinned by Tursas’ splash at 22:23. The Bucks went More Bang For Buck on Tursas. Referee Bryce Rembusrg was counting the five count for Nick being on the top rope too long. The distraction allowed Tursas to low blow Matt and splash him.
– Nick Jackson gets pinned by Jakob Hammermeier at 28:15. Nick was beaten down significantly by the opposition before he was able to deliver a crossbody to Jakob. Jakob rolled through and hooked Nick’s leg to get the pin.
– Jakob Hammermeier taps out to Green Ant’s Cloverleaf at 32:20. Things break down after Nick was eliminated. The BDK members argue over who will fight Green Ant. Green Ant dives to the floor, leading to everyone from either side to brawl around the arena. Green Ant and Jakob ended up back in the ring, allowing the resilient rookie to capitalize.
– Green Ant is eliminated with a lateral press from Tursas at 34:30. Tursas and Green Ant brawled, setting up their match tomorrow night. Green Ant went for a bodyslam, but Ares grabbed his leg causing Tursas to fall onto him and pin him.
– Sara Del Rey pins Tursas with after five axe kicks at 35:18. Once eliminated, Green Ant nailed Tursas in the head with his forearm that has a steel plate inside of it. Sara then came in with a Koppu Kick and the axe kicks to pin the BDK giant.
– Delirious is pinned with a schoolboy from Hallowicked at 39:16. Hallowicked and Mantis spent any moment they had with Delirious in the ring trying to get him to remember them. Ares came in with Hallowicked to stop him. Delirious however got caught in the middle and ended up punching Ares! Donst came in to argue with him, but got shoved to the floor in the process. While Delirious was looking at Donst and Ares, Hallowicked snuck in from behind for the pin.
– Dasher Hatfield is pinned by Donst at 42:20. Obariyon had Mantis set up for the Flying DDT. He noticed however that Dasher Hatfield, the next person in the batting order was near him on the apron. Obariyon opted to instead give Hatfield the Flying DDT. Donst came in, pitched Mantis to the floor and dragged in Hatfield to make him the legal man and pin him with ease.
– Obariyon gets pinned by Mantis’ Praying Mantis Bomb at 43:08. The six remaining members of the match brawled with one another. In the melee, Mantis caught Obariyon with the Mantis Bomb to eliminate him.
– Ares rolls up Mantis for the pin at 44:34. Ares was pulling at Mantis’ mask. Mantis begged him off and delivered the Cosmic Disaster. Ares rolled to the corner and feigned a neck injury to distract Bryce. Ares got a cheap shot into Mantis from the corner and held his tights in a roll up for the elimination. Last year’s BDK Cibernetico captain pinned last year’s CHIKARA captain. History!
– Hallowicked pins Ares at 46:09 with the Rydeen Bomb. Sara threw Ares neck first into the corner and locked on a Guillotine choke. Although Ares managed to escape with a suplex, me missed a top rope somersault senton. Sara rolled out of the ring to tag in Hallowicked who picked up her pieces.
– Hallowicked is eliminated at 47:08. Hallowicked went for a step-up enzugiri in the corner. Donst countered with a powerbomb and put his feet on the ropes to get a cheap pinfall on The Nightmare Warrior.
– Sara Del Rey wins the 2011 Cibernetico at 51:46 with a piledriver. Donst decided to go for her knee since many of her teammates worked it over earlier in the match. It was all for naught, as Sara caught the Captain of the opposing team to pick up the win and win the tournament.

Additional Notes

– Hallowicked and Tim Donst continued brawling on the floor after they started off as the first two men in the match. Later in the match, Donst tried to unmask Hallowicked. They will meet in a tag match with Ares and UltraMantis Black tomorrow night with masks, hair and the Eye of Tyr on the line.
– Jakob and Sara had a short preview of their match that is coming up tomorrow at “High Noon”. Jakob took control thanks to Tursas’ constant interference. Mantis also gave a preview of his match tomorrow as he tackled Ares off the apron when Ares was about to come in as the legal man. This led to a few members from each team fighting away from the ring.
– Things boke down again after Nick was eliminated. The BDK members argue over who will fight Green Ant. Green Ant dives to the floor, leading to everyone from either side to brawl around the arena.
– Sara Del Rey is the only female to win the Cibernetico in CHIKARA history.

Much of this match was set-up for “High Noon”. It wasn’t a waste however, as all the build up for tomorrow seemed very organic and worked in favor for all of tomorrow’s matches. Everyone worked hard and brought their best here, and the crowd was vocal for the entirety of the match as well. This wasn’t the best Cibernetico ever, but a worthy one to be included in the lineage to be sure. ***3/4

The 411: It would have been easy for CHIKARA to completely let this years Cibernetico completely slip through the cracks. After all, the next night was their first ever iPPV and had many big time matches. However, this was not a filler show nor one to be ignored. The Generico/Ophidian match could possibly be considered one of the most underrated matches of the year, especially in CHIKARA. The Cibernetico itself may not have had the grandiose vibe that last year's did, but it was still a very entertaining and exciting hour to spend time on. Gran Akuma's surprise return was also a genuine moment of surprise and intrigue. The rest of the card is pretty solid as well, so I give the Cibernetico a thumbs up. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews at my CHIKARA blog; "The CHIKARA Special" and all the CHIKARA news over at "The CHIKARA Special" Tumblr.

Final Score:  7.5   [ Good ]