411’s Impact Wrestling Report 11.30.17

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– Jeremy Borash hypes the Knockouts title tournament, featuring Sienna, Rosemary, Madison Rayne, Allie, KC Spinelli, and Laurel Van Ness

– Impact & Patron hype tonight’s match, commenting on their history, mentioning AAA & Lucha Underground.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Madison Rayne vs. KC Spinelli: The winner of this will face the winner of Sienna vs. Allie vs. Rosemary to crown the new champion. LVN acts wacky as Spinelli steals Rayne’s crown. This leads into all three going for rollups and pins. LVN does the old tumbleweed, getting 2 as Spinelli breaks up the pin. Spinelli fires up, but Rayne avoids the charge and LVN takes her to the floor, covering Spinelli for 2. Spinelli cuts off LVN with a lariat and wears her fur coat. LVN gets pissed and works over Spinelli with rights. They work to the apron and LVN sends Spinelli to the floor. Rayne battles back in and covers LVN for 2. Rayne takes control, but Spinelli is back in and she and Rayne trade chops. LVN hits a dropkick to take them both out, covering both for 2. Rayne counters the unprettier, hits an enziguri and then chokes out LVN but LVN counters with an iconoclasm. Spinelli cuts her off and hits an electric chair drop onto Rayne. LVN hits the unprettier on Spinelli for the win. Laurel Van Ness defeated Madison Rayne and KC Spinelli @ 5:43 via pin

With this win, @ImChelseaGreen is in the Finals. She is a one on one match away from winning Championship Gold! pic.twitter.com/54X2f1yhLj

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) December 1, 2017

Taiji Ishimori vs. Hakim Zane: They wok a quick opening stretch, with Zane taking control and covering for 2. Ishimori picks up the pace and takes control with a seated senton. Zane quickly fights back, cutting off Ishimori. Ishimori counters a suplex, lays in chops and Zane fires back and follows with a cannonball for 2. Ishimori hits the back handspring kick, covering for 2. Zane fires back with rights and knees, but Ishimori hits a dodon and the 450 for the win. Taiji Ishimori defeated Hakim Zane @ 3:27 via pin

– Lee and Konley attack Ishimori post match and lay him out.

– James Storm cuts a promo about tonight’s match against Texano.

– At the LAX clubhouse, they play dominoes and say they have an issue with Callihan. Homicide says he will take care of him. They discuss getting the tag titles back and possibly killing oVe.

Sami Callihan vs. Randy Myers: We go to DEFY wrestling for this match. They quickly brawl to the floor with Sami taking control. It’s clipped a bit, Sami bites Myers and hits a corner trapped superkick and sitout powerbomb for 2. Myers makes a comeback, but Sami wins with a lariat. Sami Callihan defeated Randy Myers @ 3:45 (clipped) via pin [NR]

– Patron talks about his issues with Johnny Impact, who he calls a little kid, because he’s the man. He came back to destroy, and will kick the new golden boy’s ass. He says people watch Impact and PPV because of him. Tonight, he will beat little Johnny, 1, 2, 3.

– We see KM beating down someone an asking ATT if that’s enough. Yes, that’s enough KM, please leave.

– ATT arrives and KM tries to get in with them, but they blow him off.

James Storm vs. Texano: It’s the battle of the cowboys. Texano looks to take control, but Storm trips him up and they then trade arm drags. Storm cuts him off with a right and Texano powders to the floor. Storm follows as we get some floor brawling. Texano grabs Storm’s beer and mists Storm. Back in and Texano takes it back to he floor and works over Storm. Texano then hip tosses Storm on the ramp. Back in they go and Texano covers for 2. Texano lays in chops and clotheslines, and then lock in a Boston crab. Storm escapes and battles back until Texano hits a leg lariat for 2. Storm look s for the eye of the Storm, but Texano cuts him off with a superkick. Texano puts on Storm’s cowboy hat, so Storm superkicks it off and picks up the win. James Storm defeated Texano @ 6:20 via pin

– Post match, Lashley and ATT attack Storm. They roll Storm into the ring, and Storm kills the dude on the neck brace with a superkick but ATT swarm him and Lashley hits a running powerslam. Moose and a chair arrive to make the save. Moose cleans house. Dan Lambert on the mic now and says the circus gets old really quick, just like Impact Wrestling. Lambert challenges Moose and Storm to a match next week, against Lashley and their secret weapon, Dan Lambert himself. ATT is shocked at the announcement.

– We get an intentionally poorly done, 80s style Park, Park, and Park commercial with Joseph Park and Chandler Park (Ethan Page). It was great.

Someone send this phone # to Gabe or FloSlam

I'm ready to make some REAL $$$!

(Playing all angles) pic.twitter.com/og8oApiM7n

— All Ego Ethan Page (@OfficialEGO) December 1, 2017

– We get highlights of Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle from Genesis 2006 as our flashback of the week.

– Johnny Impact gives an interview, and admits that his arm isn’t 100%. But he’s good enough to take out Patron tonight. He calls Patron delusional and says he is now his biggest problem, because this is personal. Pretty weak promo, with no fire and Impact is saying “bro” way too much.

– Eli Drake says he’ll be watching the Impact vs. Patron match. He hasn’t forgotten about either of them, and will be watching close. Jimmy Jacobs appears and walks off.

– EC3 is out on commentary.

Matt Sydal vs. Tyson Dux: EC3 buries Sydal for being a nice guy with no killer instinct to make it in the business. Sydal and Dux work some good back and forth, Sydal hits a head scissors and final cut leg drop for 2. Sydal works a version of the Muta lock, but Dux escapes and counters the Sydal standing moonsault. Dux lays in the boots, and covers for 2. Dux then starts working the knee of Sydal, and then walks Sydal around for a delayed suplex for 2. Dux locks in the crab, but Sydal makes the ropes. Dux fires away with forearms, but Sydal hits a spin kick and follows with leg kicks. The standing moonsault connects, and Sydal covers for 2. Sydal looks to go up top, gets cut off and planted by a Dux DDT for 2. Sydal cuts off Dux with a knee strike and hits the shooting star press for the win. Matt Sydal defeated Tyson Dux @ 5:43 via pin

– We get a promo where Patron says the title is his and that Drake is a paper champion.

– EC3 vs. Sydal for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron: They brawl at the bell, Patron takes early control but Impact quickly fights back, and lays in mounted strikes. Impact knocks Patron to the floor and follows with a dive. Impact is favoring his arm, but lays in knee strikes on Patron and then rolls him into the ring. Patron cuts him off with an enziguri, and the brawl goes back to the floor as Patron whips Impact into the barricades. Impact is down and favoring his arm as patron waits on him in the ring. Impact finally rolls back in, but Patron attacks right away and grounds the action. Impact fires back, hits a dropkick but gets dumped back to the floor. Post break, and Patron hits a right off the ropes and covers for 2. Patron grounds the action, laying in strikes and heads backup top but misses his attack and eats an enziguri. They fire up and trade strikes, Impact unloads on Patron in the corner and follows with clotheslines and a leg lariat, covering for 2. Patron battles back, hitting a kick and covering for 2. He then argues with the ref. Impact counters out of the arm bar and hits a disaster kick for 2. Impact goes for starship pain, gets cut off and Patron follows him up top for the reverse superplex, and Impact kicks out at 2. Patron places Impact in the tree of WHOA, heads up top and misses the double stomp. Impact up top and hits the double stomp and covers for 2. Impact back up top, but Patron moves and avoids the Thursday night delight. Patron used the ref to avoid the move and low blows Impact. Patron lays in rights, checks on the ref and DDTs Impact and covers for 2. Patron sets Impact back in the tree of WHOA, rips the wrap off of Impact’s arm and shoves it in his mouth. Eli Drake arrives, and Patron is distracted. They argue and patron attacks and hits Drake with the title. Impact pulls him back in and hits starship pain and wins. Johnny Impact defeated Alberto El Patron @ 19:30 via pin

– Post break, Adonis and Drake attack and Petey Williams arrives to make the save. Petey and Impact fight then off and Petey hits Drake with the Canadian Destroyer to end the show.