411’s Impact Wrestling Report 9.27.19

Hey everyone, welcome to 411mania’s LIVE coverage of Impact Wrestling. I’m Robert Winfree, stepping in for Larry Csonka again as Larry is covering ROH’s Death Before Dishonor over HERE if you’d like to check out what’s going on over there.

I believe tonight is the first bit of material from the most recent taping Impact held, but at any rate we’ve got the Brian Cage and Melissa Santos wedding tonight and I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong at a wrestling wedding. Also up tonight is the official in ring return of Mahabali Shera as he battles Cousin Jake, Tenille Dashwood takes on Madison Rayne, and Tessa Blanchard battles Dave Crist in an X-Division Qualifying match.

Commentary is dressed in tuxedos to sell the wedding angle as we get going.

The music of LAX hits, and The North come down dressed as them to further celebrate ending LAX in Impact. Ethan Page gets a mic, and mocks the crowd a bit for wanting LAX then tells them that they got what was advertised, the best tag team in wrestling. Alexander now, notes that they came out dressed like losers and got cheered for it then says he’s never been so embarrassed as he’s a professional wrestler and this is sacred ground. He tears up a shirt, stomps on it and says that’s what he thinks about LAX, Konnan, and every other tag team in Impact. The promise to make everyone forget LAX and every other tag team. Page takes the mic back and mocks fans for sending hate mail and whatnot to Impact wanting LAX back, and resumes running down LAX and the fans before saying that no matter how much power Konnan thinks he has he doesn’t have enough to overcome The North. That will bring out Konnan, who makes his way to the ring. Alexander asks what it’s like to finally share the ring with the best tag team in the world, Konnan no sells that and insults The North. Konnan calls them bush league and says they couldn’t be stars if they were thrown by ninjas. Alexander is taking issue with this, they go back and forth a bit before Konnan says he’s got friends who would love to bust their asses. Page mocks that, says that whoever he has isn’t them and so isn’t the best. Konnan brings out RVD and Rhino, and we’re going to get a tag team match.

Match #1 – Tag Team Match: The North (Ethan Page/Josh Alexander) vs. Rob Van Dam & Rhino

Joined in progress, Alexander is beating down RVD in the corner. RVD reverses a whip and hits a monkey flip then rolling thunder. RVD tags in Rhino and they beat up Alexander for a bit. Alexander cuts off Rhino then tags in Page, he and Rhino trade offense then Rhino takes him down with a shoulder block but a cover only gets a 1 count. RVD tagged in, he and Rhino with some double team offense. Page reverses a whip then boots RVD down. Boots from Page in the corner then he tags in Alexander. Alexander lays into RVD in the corner then hits a suplex for another 2 count. Page tags in, RVD eats tandem offense then Page jaws at Rhino as RVD is on the mat. Knees to the back from Page, RVD fights back with strikes then kicks Page down in the corner. RVD tags in Rhino, as Alexander gets tagged in. Rhino runs wild on Alexander for a bit then takes down Page with a clothesline and hits a belly to belly suplex on Alexader. Rhino sets for the gore but Page cuts him off with a super kick, Alexander then hits a discus elbow and RVD has to break up the pinfall attempt. RVD and Page wind up on the outside, Alexander grabs the title belt, but Konnan stops that which lets Rhino hit the gore, then RVD hits the five star frog splash and that’ll do it.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Rob Van Dam and Rhino defeated The North via pinfall

The North leave with the belts as that was non-title.

In the back Gama Singh tells off Rohit Raju and Raj Singh then introduces Shera. Gama tells them that if they keep losing he can easily find two replacements given the population of India, then promises that Shera will deal with the Deaners tonight.

There’s an official wedding correspondent, so that’ll be a running thing all show I guess.

Gama Singh is in the ring to introduce the next match.

Match #2: Mahabali Shera w/Desi Hit Squad vs. Cousin Jake w/ Cody Deaner

Shera attacks quickly and pummels Jake. Jake fires back with a forearm, then lays into Shera. Raju distracts Jake and Shera levels him with a clothesline. Shera takes over with more offense. Jake swings blows to the body, Shera shoves him down then slams him back into the corner. Jake avoids a rush in the corner, slams Shera then runs into him a couple of times before driving him down to the mat. Singh and Raju on the apron, Jake takes them out but runs into a sky high then a falling powerslam for the win.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Mahabali Shera defeated Cousin Jake via pinfall

Cody Deaner attacks him for a bit, then the rest of the Desi Hit Squad get involved and send Deaner into another falling powerslam. The Desi Hit Squad stand tall as we go to break.

More wedding coverage as we’re back from break. Fallah Bahh and TJP trade words, Bahh actually speaks to TJP but resorts to “Bahh-ing” when anyone else comes over. Eddie Edwards has apparently been drugged, so that’ll be a thing as well I guess.

Match #3: Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood

They tie up to start, then trade arm wringer sequences before Dashwood gets a headlock takeover. Rayne back up, more arm lock reversals that Dashwood gets the best of and Rayne goes into the ropes to get time off. Now Rayne gets a shoulder tackle, but taunts too long and Dashwood trips her up. Dashwood with a drop kick for a 2 count and Rayne heads outside, Dashwood kicks her and Rayne tries to head to the back but Dashwood cuts her off. They trade minor offense on the outside, Dashwood slams Rayne into the apron to retain control. Kicks from Dashwood then a neck breaker over the ropes gets another 2 count. Rayne tries to beg off, then she counters a rush from Dashwood and hits a rope assisted lung blower but only gets 2. Dashwood tries to fight out, Rayne drops her with knees but still can’t get a pinfall. Snapemare then a sliding clotheseline from Rayne but she still can’t get a pinfall. Rayne misses a kick, Dashwood rolls her up but only gets 2 then Rayne drops her with a clothesline. Chin lock from Rayne, Dashwood back up with elbows, then Rayne hits a cutter but still only gets 2. Rayne decides to climb the turnbuckles, but misses her attack then Dashwood with a low crossbody to her in the corner for a near fall. Back up Dashwood lands elbows then a hard couple of kicks and a clothesline but again only gets 2. Rayne avoids a double underhook move, hits an enizguri and a bridging northern lights suplex but still only gets 2. Rayne is annoyed, talks trash, Dashwood counters a cross Rayne attempt, hits her running kick finisher and this one is over.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tenille Dashwood defeated Madison Rayne via pinfall

RVD is back at the wedding with his girlfriend, runs into Willie Mack and Rich Swann. They jaw a little back and forth about which of them will become tag team champions first and promise to give the other the the first shot. That will send us to break.

Back from break as Ken Shamrock makes his way to the ring. Shamrock has a mic, he mentions great memories with this company as he was the first NWA-TNA World Champion. He says he’s back, and thanks the fans for that. He mentions talking a bit with Brian Cage lately, and how Moose inserted himself into that conversation. Shamrock runs him down a little, noting that Moose has done absolutely nothing during his tenure in Impact and that his constant disrespect has pissed off Shamrock. He says he wants to put Moose in his grave, but there’s no Moose to be found, not in the back or in the parking lot. He calls out Moose and says he’s not leaving until he shows up.

Moose shows up via video, he’s at Syndicate MMA where Shamrock trains. He says he could tear down the whole place if he wanted to, but he wont. He says he’s not afraid of Shamrock, it’s not actually possible for him to be afraid of him. Moose plans on proving he’s the best wrestler in the world. He tries to get into a training cage, is stopped by a flunky who gets knocked down. He takes out a few guys in the cage and reiterates that he’s not scared of Shamrock then calls Bound For Glory the biggest night of Shamrocks career. That will send us to break.

Back from break, Taya Valkyrie shows up by Rosemary and wants to know why Rosemary isn’t returning her texts. She announces she’ll wrestling Dashwood at BFG, then tells Rosemary that if Rosemary gets rid of Dashwood she’ll give her the shot instead. Rosemary says there was a time that would have been interesting, but that the bleach blonde coward has overtaken the former warrior she was. She says until Valkyrie regains what she used to be they have nothing but contempt for her. Valkyrie gives her a dress for the wedding to match hers, Rosemary is disgusted.

Our flashback moment is the wedding of Eric Young and ODB. I mean really, has there ever been a wrestling wedding that didn’t end in disaster? Back to action, oVe try to crash the wedding but are rebuffed to the chagrin of Sami Callihan who claims they were just dropping off a gift. To another break now.

Back to the wedding, Brian Cage is pacing but gets advice from Tommy Dreamer and Rich Swann. Also there’s a meeting of Knockouts, Madison Rayne tries to instruct everyone on how to walk down the aisle but Kiera Hogan cuts her off. Valkyrie tries to rally them around her issue with Dashwood as we cut out.

Match #4 – X-Division Qualifier: Dave Crist w/ Jake Crist and Mad Man Fulton vs. Tessa Blanchard

This match will qualify the winner for the X-Division title ladder match at Bound for Glory. Crist attacks early but Blanchard cuts him off with forearms in the corner. Crist lands a kick but Blanchard shakes it off and resumes attacking him. Leg kicks from Crist, Blanchard kicks him in the back. Crist with a shoulder block to the abdomen and starts landing blows but as he charges Blanchard back body drops him over the rope to the floor. Drop kick from Blanchard, she glanced Fulton who yanks her out and looks to attack but Jake holds him back. That was enough to get Fulton kicked out of the ringside area. Blanchard avoids a punch and Crist hits the post. She goes after his injured hand in the ring, Jake gets involved behind the refs back and cuts off her momentum. Kicks from Crist then an eye rake. Jake gets involved again behind the refs back, choking Blanchard. Blanchard tries to fire back up, Crist drives her back down with a punch and spits on her. Blanchard back up and is pissed, she lays into Crist then lands kicks as he’s hung up on the rope. Awkward top rope sunset flip only gets a 2 count. Buzzsaw attempt from Blanchard, Crist counters with a knee to the face that only gets 2. Crist sets for a charge, Blanchard avoids it then runs into a kick. As Crist climbs the ropes she tries for Magnum, Crist avoids it but walks into a buzzsaw DDT for the finish.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Tessa Blanchard defeated Dave Crist via pinfall

Jake Crist tries to attack after the match, Blanchard gets the best of that before Fulton shows up. Fulton blocks a DDT then hits a massive choke slam. And another for good measure. Jake Crist poses over her fallen body.

Commentary kills time then sends us to the wedding.

At the wedding, Alisha Edwards is annoyed that she can’t find Eddie Edwards. Madison Rayne talks crap then Ace Austin shows up to take his place at her side for the wedding. That pseudo cliff hanger sends us to break.

Back at the wedding, the Rascalz are trying to contain their smoke, Jessika Havok scares off the Deaners, Rob Van Dam’s cloud of smoke scares off Jordynne Grace, Rosemary arrives, and Gama Singh has to threaten to slap Rohit to stop him from crying. Valkyrie talks at Rosemary for not wearing the outfit she picked, Rosemary’s response is that she’s lucky she showed up at all. Tommy Dreamer is the one to walk Melissa Santos down the aisle, hey I see Josh Alexander in the background attending in his wrestling headgear. That’s kind of awesome. Taya Valkyrie talks a lot when the audience was asked about objections, but has no real objection. Ethan Page has objections to the running of the company, he wants to start a wrestlers union and has a laundry list of complaints. The guy officiating the wedding asks if anyone actually objects to the wedding, wasted Eddie Edwards shows up and pukes on the reverend then slugs him trying to hit Ace Austin. Tommy Dreamer asks for another guy who can officiate the wedding before they have to go to commercial break, he asks for a minister and the Sinister Minister James Mitchell shows up to officiate. They eventually say “I do” and Mitchell pronounces them man and wife. They’re going to hold the reception in the ring, according to Dreamer “right after this commercial break”.

The ropes have been taken down as the wedding reception kicks off. Cage and Santos are introduced, share hugs and whatnot with the wrestlers gathered at ringside then enter the ring for their first dance. Sami Callihan has a mic and interrupts with a version of Here Comes the Bride. He’s alone and offering an empty bottle, claiming he’s not here for a fight but just here for the party. Callihan gets into the ring, he says he’s not a bad person and is happy for Cage and Santos but he is a little hurt that they didn’t invite him to the wedding. He points out he drank the gift he’d been planning to offer them, he mentions that they all used to be friends but that kind of fell out over time then apologizes for his part in that. Callihan wants Cage to get back to being the machine for their match at Bound For Glory because that’s the guy he wants to beat. He calls for a toast, hopes they have a great marriage, lovely children, and a long healthy one at that then swings the bottle at Cage but misses and clobbers Santos. Callihan even seems a little shook by that and tries to apologize as he’s heading up the ramp. That scene will end the show. Thanks for being here everyone.